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Scorpio · (03-11-2014)

Our scene opens as the camera pans around the inside of an undisclosed night club. It moves from the tables lining the walls, to the bar area, and then finally to the dance floor where something catches our eye. Well of course it catches our god damn damn eye! It's a 6''2, 240 lb man with forest camo face paint, matching pants with a black scorpion going down each leg, and a matching sparkly jacket. Yes, that would be a sparkly camo jacket which makes about as much sense as a condom with air holes in it or Justin Jones being involved in matches that actually matter. As you stand there in awe admiring the sparkly camo awesomeness that makes no god damn sense you almost don't notice the two bitches with tig oh bitties strutting across the dance floor as they try and fail to keep their panties dry just like the other women in the club due to witnessing Scorpio's sick moves.

[Image: dance.gif]

People start slipping and falling all across the dance floor as the strong aroma of multiple leaking vaginas fills the room. So basically it smells like a clan er... Congregation Meeting. Somehow the two big titty bitches make it over to Scorpio even though they now look as through they just got finished competing in a wet pants competition. One of the girls starts dancing in front of Scorpio while the other LICKS HIS FUCKING FACE!?!? Fucking crazy bitches these days, however Scorpio still seems to be enjoying himself in spite of having his face molested by some random slag's tongue. All of a sudden Dark Horse by Katy Perry starts playing in the club and things start to get fuzzy. Everything starts twisting and distorting until all we can see is a blinding white light, meanwhile the only thing we can hear is the music continuing to play. The scene now comes into focus, we see Scorpio laying on his bed with a white and black bull terrier licking his face as his cell phone blares Dark Horse by Katy Perry. Finally Scorpio moans like a zombie before sitting up and slowly nudging the dog into the floor. The zombie version of the Brah Brawler then turns his attention to his cell phone which he grabs and puts up to his ear.

Scorpio: RAAAAHAAAAMMMARRR!

Theo Pryce: Rah hammer? Did I call Scorpio or Super Mutant Dogelord?

Scorpio: Mer.

Theo: Is that even English?

Scorpio: GRRRRRAAAAHAAAA!

Theo: Why don't you grab some coffee and call me back.

Scorpio: MMMMMMMM.

Scorpio hangs up the phone.

*One Hour Later*

We now see a slightly more awake looking Scorpio sitting on the couch in his living room with a large Redhead Roaster in his hand. He sniffs the air allowing the sweet scent of the 100% Arabica bean coffee to fill his nostrils. He then sips it and his eyes widen as the yummy deliciousness attacks his taste buds. That's the type of reaction you get when your coffee is good as shit and brewed fresh throughout the day for smooth rich flavor in every motherfucking cup! Unlike that watered down monkey ball juice they serve at McDonald's. Anyway Scorpio finishes off the cup of coffee then pulls out his cell phone to return Theo's call. After a couple of rings Theo answers.

Theo: Hello.

Scorpio: Sup Brah?

Theo: Oh nothing much, I tried to call you earlier but I'm pretty sure your gremlin picked up.

Scorpio: If it isn't past noon I'm not alive.

Theo: I'll make a note of that. Anyway the reason I was calling is because I wanted you to help the rest of the team.

Scorpio: I can do that brah, but what do you want me to help them with? Want me to teach them how to deliver my trademark panty wetting face so the whole team will be able to render Thraxx, Mandii, Callaway, and Morbid Angel useless within seconds?

Theo: They're all pretty useless regardless of what we do, and Morbid Angel is a man.

Scorpio: Is he Theo.... is he?

Theo: Point taken but that's still not what I wanted you to talk to the team about.

Scorpio: Well if it isn't that you must want me to teach the team the fine art of Dick Fu.

Theo: What the hell is Dick Fu? It sounds like some sort of disease that Griffin MacAlister probably has.

Scorpio: Come on brah get with the times it isn't disease, it's Kung Fu, you know, for your dick.

Theo: Sounds interesting however no that isn't what I had in mind. You see according to my intern you're very experienced in matches like these. He told me you've been in several large scale battle royals regular and X-treme rules as well as a couple of war games matches.

Suddenly Scorpio's head drops in shame while his face is engulfed by dark shadows which strangely appear out of thin air in the bright room.

Theo: You there Scorp?

Scorpio: Hey brah, did your intern happen to tell you how many of those matches I've won?

Theo: No he didn't mention it but knowing you it was a good amount I'm sure.

Scorpio: Two.

Theo: Two what?

Scorpio: The number of big matches like the one we're heading into that I actually came out on top of, the answer is two.

*Long pause*

Theo: Oh, I see, hold on just a second Scorp.

We hear the phone being put down but we can still hear Theo talking.

Theo: Hey Billy can you come here for a moment? No, no, don't have a seat because this won't take long. I just wanted to shake your hand, look you in the eye, and tell you that your services will no longer be required. Please make sure to remove all company property from your person or we'll be seeing you in court, thank you for your shoddy work and we wish you well in your future endeavors.

Scorpio (whispering to himself): It's like he's reading off of a teleprompter.

*Theo picks the phone back up*

Theo: Sorry about that, I had clean up some trash around the office. Now what were we talking about again? Oh yes, we were discussing how useless you're going to be in the upcoming WWX match.

Scorpio: Et Tu Brah?

Theo: I was just paraphrasing.

Scorpio: Well paraphrasing stings like a bitch!

Theo: Come on, I was really just having a little fun with ya Scorp. If I thought you'd be useless I'd replace you on the team like I did with that Dogelord abomination. There's something I just can't wrap my head around though. You trained mostly to be a tag team wrestler which puts an emphasis on having multiple opponents and you've excelled as an X-Treme and UFO Champion which both emphasize X-treme rules so it would seem that matches like these would be perfect for you right?

Scorpio: THAT'S WHAT I SAID! It's like having the perfect ingredients to make the best motherfucking burger on the planet but something gets fucked up somewhere and instead of ending up with a Triple Stack you end up with a Whopper! A GOD DAMN WHOPPER THEO!

Theo: Whoppers aren't so bad.

Scorpio: You're dead to me.

Theo: Really?

Scorpio: Theo is that you speaking from beyond the grave? Tell me, do you see a white light? Don't go towards it, it's probably a rape trap that ghost Frodo set up. You'll wake up with your ghost hole ectoplasmed shut!

Theo: Whoppers suck.

Scorpio: ALL HAIL OUR LORD AND SAVIOR THEO CHRIST, HE HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD!

Theo: Tell me something Scorpio, in spite of the fact that these types of matches haven't gone your way, surely there's something that you can pass on to help the team succeed right?

Scorpio: Well after the first two stages are over and the match turns into a giant clusterfuck, whichever side has better teamwork is going to win and that's all there is to it. In all honesty that's probably more important than anything that will happen over the first two stages because as soon as that third stage hits I can tell you exactly what's going to happen. People are going to forget that they have teammates, they're going to get tunnel vision, they're going to single out somebody on the other team for whatever reason, and then they're going to go after that person relentlessly. Nevermind the fact that they just laid the guy who they're working on the fuck out and one of their teammates is getting their ass beat right beside them, nope, not their fucking problem.

Theo: Yeah I've seen that happen plenty of times when watching matches like these, I'll make damn sure that our guys know that we need to work together.

Scorpio: It's kind of hard to do that when... WE'RE ALL TAKING SHOTS AT EACH OTHER!

*Long Pause*

Theo: Wait a second, I'm hearing this from you? You? The fun face painted sparkly guy who doesn't give a shit about anything?

Scorpio: Look brah, you asked me to pass on the information that would help our team succeed and that's exactly what I'm doing. You going at it with Smoke, Nova taking shots at McBride, and any other bullshit bickering that sounds like two women on their periods fighting over the last box of Whitmans at Walmart isn't going to help us. When I was on the war games team that the XWF sent to another federation guess what we did? We fought with each other and guess what happened? We got fucking steamrolled. Yeah I'm the fun guy that doesn't give a shit about much so the fact that I'm being serious right now and telling you that our team needs to shape the fuck up should let you know that the path that this team is on, the path that the team that you're leading is on, is one that does not lead to victory.

Theo: I can't say that you're wrong, I've said what I needed to say to Smoke so hopefully he'll take the hint and drop it. He chose to be on this team, I could have refused to take him, that's my right as a captain. There are plenty of guys who would kill to have Smoke's spot, plenty of guys I refused to have on this team. However I kept him around for a reason and it wasn't for him to try to pick at every decision I make and undermine me at every turn. No, it was because I thought he could help us win and the sooner he realizes that the better of we'll be. Aside from that I also believe that Nova will lay off of McBride from here on out. So we should be good as far the bickering is concerned plus I've heard whispers of a lot of our members getting together for some "team building" exercises.

Scorpio: You mean sleeping with Nova?

Theo: Why is it that I say team building and you automatically jump to people sleeping with Nova?

Scorpio: Because Nova's a whore?

As soon as those words leave Scorpio's lips Nova appears right in front of him holding something in his arms with a towel over it.

Scorpio: JESUS CHRIST!

Theo: Are you okay Scorp, what's going on?

Scorpio: Sorry about that, Nova just popped in out of nowhere.

*Long Pause*

Theo: Ah that time again is it? Doing a little team building with Nova yourself are you? As I've said before, you boys have fun.

*Click*

Scorpio glares at Nova.

Nova: What?

Scorpio: Why is it that every time you show up at my house Theo ends up thinking that you're sticking it to me?

Nova: Theo has a deep-seated fantasy about me sticking it to you?

Scorpio: Or.... OR.... YOU ALWAYS DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU'RE STICKING IT TO ME!

Nova: I had absolutely nothing to do with it this time, that was all you.

Scorpio: Really brah, who just pooofs into someone's house with zero warning? I could have been spanking it!

Nova: I know but I've always had horrible timing.

Scorpio: What?

Nova: What? What?

Nova stares blankly at Scorpio for a moment.

Nova: Anyway I brought you something.

Nova places the big towel covered object on Scorpio's living room table.

Scorpio: Is it something stupid that's going to result in me punching you in the dick?

Nova: I mean if that's what you're into I'm sure we can work something out.

Scorpio: Is everything I say going to get twisted around into us doing it?

Nova: Most likely but in all seriousness just pull the towel off, you're going to love this, I promise.

Scorpio: Alright if you say so.

Scorpio reaches out grabbing the corner of the towel and slowly starts to uncover the object on the table. Just in time for the cameras to....

[Image: fade0_print.jpg]

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