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~~Sweet Cheapshots~~ · **02-27-2013, 10:34 AM**

{Episode 002}"The one in which our hero learns the Canadian way."

[Image: george+clooney+suit_only_pic.jpg]

"Well, hello again. You snuck up on me that time. What's that? Yeah I'm just hanging by the pool today collecting my thoughts. I like to come out here and breathe in the fresh air. But I know you're not here to listen to me wax poetic about the great outdoors. If you remember last time our pal Sweet Cheapshots had gotten himself into a mess of trouble with our brothers from the north. Poor kid. He's gotta learn when to keep that trap of his shut. Anyway, you'll have to excuse me while I get ready to take a swim. In the mean time let's catch up with our pal Sweets with his story already in progress... "

Sweet Cheapshots Fun Fact #23:
Sweet Cheapshots once taught a small town to believe in dance again.

The location: Metropolitan Hotel Time: 9:17am EST

The hotel door to room 217 opens and in walks Natalie Foxx and a very tired looking Sweet Cheapshots. Both drops their bags onto the floor and Sweets crashes onto to his back on the big king size bed.

Sweet Cheapshots: "I can't believe they deported Dikembe back to the states. This country sucks!"

Natalie Foxx: "What did you expect was going to happen? He didn't have a passport or any ID."

Sweet Cheapshots: "But he's my spiritual advisor, Nat!"

Natalie Foxx: "And I also watched him chew and swallow a piece of gum off the underside of a seat in the airport."

Sweets covers his face and groans.

Natalie Foxx: "I hate to rain on your pity party, but we're supposed to check in over at the arena in about an hour."

Sweet Cheapshots: "I'm in no mood for that right now. Besides I'm starving."

Natalie Foxx: "You haven't eaten anything?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "I've had like six gummy bears and some scotch."

Natalie Foxx: "That's the breakfast of a champion if I've ever heard one."

Sweet Cheapshots: "I don't need any of your sass right now, okay?"

Natalie Foxx: "Oh, my mistake your highness."

Sweets leans over and takes a whiff of himself.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Ugh, I probably smell like greasy Canadian bacon, burnt coffee and poor decisions."

Natalie Foxx: "And here I thought a night in lockup would have done you good. How'd you convince them to let you go anyway?"

Sweets sits up on his elbows.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Easy, babe. If nickels were brains and ten cents could get you around the world, the average Canadian wouldn't be able to get across the street."

Natalie stares, raises an eyebrow.

Natalie Foxx: "You think that up yourself?"

Long beat and...

Sweet Cheapshots: "Ah, no. I read it somewhere. Sounded good though, right?"

Natalie starts for the door.

Natalie Foxx: "Be in the lobby in fifteen, please."

The location: Ricoh Coliseum Time: 11:15am EST

The doors to the arena open and daylight floods in. First, in walks Natalie looking business cool in a suit. She's followed by Cheapshots who's wearing sunglasses, a blazer, and a bright pink v-neck t-shirt.

Both look like they mean business and if music was playing right now their walk into the building would be epic.

Hell, let's cue some music!

As the song closes out Natalie and Sweets are greeted by a slender young man with red hair and an angular face. He's all smiles and wears a pressed polo shirt tucked into khakis.

Sweets mouth drops and he takes his sunglasses off.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Dear god, they have gingers here too."

Natalie smacks Sweets on the shoulder and he gives her a "What?" expression. She turns and smiles over at the newcomer.

Natalie Foxx: "Excuse my associate here. His brain is constantly in neutral."

Billy William: "Oh, no problem, Ma'am."

Natalie Foxx: "Please call me Ms. Foxx"

Sweets watches the kid blush, then his eyes go to Natalie's bust. Cheapshots rolls his eyes.

Sweet Cheapshots: "You got a name, Red?"

Billy William: "Yes. It's Billy. Billy Williams. I'm your XWF onboarding specialist."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Hold up. Your name is Billy Williams? Like legally your William Williams? Man, your parents must be a special kind of --"

Natalie Foxx: "--what Sweets is saying is that if you could show him to his locker that'd be great. I have a meeting with Mr. Witasick that I'm already late for."

Billy William: "Oh, sure. Right this way Mr. Cheapshots. Just follow me."

Cheapshots follows Billy down a long corridor and into the locker room area. The room is spacious and surprisingly empty aside from the custodial staff. Billy shows Sweets to his locker.

Billy William: "You should find all your wrestling gear as you had it customized, sir. There's even a customary Warfare t-shirt and coffee mug."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Coffee sounds great right now."

Billy William: "Would you like me to get you a cup, sir?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "That would be great. So, you just do anything I ask?"

Billy William: "Yes. I'm your personal onboarding specialist assigned to you by Mr. Witasick."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Hop up and down on one foot."

Without missing a beat Billy does as Cheapshots asks and hops up and down. Sweets chuckles out loud.

Sweet Cheapshots: "This is awesome. It's like when John Connor got his own personal terminator in T2."

Billy William: "I don't get the reference, sir."

Sweets sighs.

Sweet Cheapshots: "I'll take that coffee now."

Billy nods and actually sprints out of the locker room. Sweets just shakes his head as he watches him go. He turns back to his locker and begins to look through his wrestling gear. He's so involved that he doesn't sense someone sneaking up on him and covering his eyes with their hands.

Voice: "Guess who?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Wait. I know this. Scented lotion. Hands a little cold and fish like. Uncle Charles?"

Voice: "Excuse me?!"

Sweets turns around and comes face to face with XWF analyst Liz Weinberg. He gives her a smirk.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Good to see you again, Lizzy. Finally made it to the pros all these years later."

Liz Weinberg: "Speak for yourself. When Witasick told me that he signed you I about fell out of my chair. You were on a meteoric rise there in the indies for awhile."

Sweet Cheapshots: "And yet here I am."

Liz Weinberg: "Here you are. What do you say? Can I get a interview for old time's sake?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "I think that can be arranged."

Liz Weinberg: "Good..."

She starts to get close, puts a hand on his chest and seems to be coming in for a kiss or...

Billy William: "Your coffee, sir."

Sweets closes his eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Billy, if you don't leave in three seconds I'm going to rub sand in your dead little eyes... of course I'll need you to go buy sand."

Sweet Cheapshots Fun Fact #23:
Sweet Cheapshots hair alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.

The location: Backstage before Warfare Time: 7:24pm EST

Liz Weinberg and Sweet Cheapshots stand before the Warfare banner just before Warfare starts live in Toronto. Cheapshots is wearing his wrestling gear and a t-shirt that says "#MakingItLookEasy"

Liz Weinberg: "Hello, and welcome to Warfare from Toronto. I'm Liz Weinberg. The man standing to my right is about to make his debut performance here in the XWF tonight -- Sweet Cheapshots!"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Thanks for having me, Liz."

Liz Weinberg: "I'll keep it short and sweet... no pun intended... you're making your debut against Owen Crooks tonight. Your thoughts?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "I don't know how much I'm allowed to say, Liz. But Owen Crooks has to be the most boring, cardboard cut-out of a wrestler I've ever met in my life. I'd rather put on a video watching how glass gets made than sit through another chapter of the Owen Crooks Saga. Seriously, cool story, bro. But please don't tell it to us again. Look, I get it. It's so rainy and gray in 'bloody old England' that you gotta slit your wrists to see some color, but someone give this guy a hug and a two dollar sandwich and send him on his way."

Liz Weinberg: "Surprise, surprise, a rookie with confidence. How do you think you'll fare out there tonight"

Sweet Cheapshots: "I may be new here, but I'm not a rookie by any stretch of the imagination. I'm here to put on clinics and to make it look easy like the shirt says. Owen Crooks is just the first obstacle of many. It'll be nothing personal when I steal his thunder and walk away with the dubyah"

Liz Weinberg: "What do these fans have in store tonight?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "First and foremost I want these fans to know that I know what an honor it is for them to be watching me in the ring tonight. I know there's so many out there that wish they could leave Canada and never look back, just like I'm thinking right now and return to the greatest country in the world -- the United States and give it time, Liz and you'll see Sweet Cheapshots the next champion of said country. Cheapshots out!"

He gives her a little smirk and leaves Liz standing alone as Warfare sets to begin.

To be continued...

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode EP002: "The one in which our hero learns the Canadian way" (RP#2 vs Crooks)
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