The scene opens with us seeing nothing but darkness but soon we see lights shining down onto a stage. After a couple moments a puppet resembling the XWF's very own Peter Gilmour prances out onto stage. By the way, it's a skinny Gilly puppet not a fat Gilly puppet, he actually used to be a fat Gilly puppet but then he had power sander surgery. With the Gilmour puppet now standing in the middle of the stage Scorpio climbs onto the stage. Scorpio is carrying a chair with him and what appears to be a DVD case. He places the chair down not too fair from the Gilmour puppet then takes a seat as he grins and looks over at the puppet.
Scorpio: Hey there Gilmour, how are you doing today?
Gilmour Puppet: Bad....
Scorpio: Aww, why bad brah?
Gilmour Puppet: Rose made me some chicken parm but it tasted funny and after I ate it I found a picture of Mr. XWF with his balls on my chicken parm!
Scorpio busts out laughing.
Gilmour Puppet: FUCK YOU SCORPIO YOU FAGGITY !
Scorpio: Now, now, Gilmour I'm not the one who put my balls on your chicken parm. Well excuse me, I'm not the one who put his balls on your chicken parm and left you a picture of it, that's just cruel. No, when I rub my balls on your food after I get done with Rose I never leave a picture or anything, it's more fun when you don't know you're tasting my balls.
Gilmour Puppet: You fucked up now bitch, I'M SUING YOU!
Scorpio: Really now, how are you going to prove that I've been putting my nuts on your food? You already ate all the evidence like the little ball gobbler you are.
Gilmour Puppet: I'M NOT A BALL GOBBLER! I make women wet in the panties!
Scorpio: Oh really? Then prove it.
A nasty ho who looks like she hasn't bathed in a month now walks on stage and being the gentleman that he is Scorpio grabs another chair for her to sit in. Hey she may be a ugly looking foul smelling lady but she's still a lady.
Scorpio: Mam you wouldn't mind helping us conduct an experiment to see if my friend here can make your panties wet would you?
Woman: That is why you said you were going to give me $20 right? So I can by my crack?
The woman starts scratching her neck before moving on to playing with her hair since she can't sit still.
Woman: Oh and I'm not wearing any panties.
Scorpio throws up in his mouth a little but is able to hold it together. The Gilmour puppet on the other hand seems as if he's excited and he hops up and down.
Gilmour Puppet: Don't worry you don't need panties! I'll make you so wet that they'll be able to turn this building into a swimming pool when I'm finished.
The Gilmour puppet now jumps up onto the crackhead's shoulder and starts whispering things into her ear, suddenly the crackhead gets a disgusted look on her face.
Woman: You want me to do that, with you?
WE'VE GOT A GUSHER! Wait, is that blood mixed in there? Eww, eww, eww! Suddenly out of nowhere Billy Zane comes walking across the stage.
Billy Zane: Just a little heads up chaps, don't get any of that on you unless you want....
Zane turns to the Gilmour puppet who is covered in the bloody vomit.
Billy Zane: Good luck with that old boy....
As quickly as he appeared, Billy Zane vanishes like a phantom! Huh, huh? What I did there, you see it. Scorpio can't help but point and laugh at the Gilmour puppet.
Gilmour Puppet: What are you laughing at you Steve Borden wannabe, I said I would make her wet and I did.
Scorpio: WHAT!?!?!
Gilmour Puppet: Yeah, I made her wet just like I make Rose wet.
Scorpio: So this is your idea of making a woman wet?
Scorpio points to the ugly puke covered crackhead.
Gilmour Puppet: Yep, I made her so wet that it turned me on and I digressed in my pants.
Scorpio buries his face in his palm.
Woman: Can I have my $20 now?
Scorpio: Yeah, yeah.
Scorpio reaches into his pocket and hands the nasty AIDS infested crackhead a twenty making sure not to touch her. She grabs it and immediately sprints off the stage in search of her next fix.
Scorpio: So Gilmour I've got to ask, how does being covered with puke compare to getting raped by Frodo? Do you feel more or less dirty?
Gilmour Puppet: I DIDN'T GET RAPED YOU !
Scorpio: Brah, you sure do like to throw that word around, are you doing it to compensate for the fact that you've been in the closet longer than R. Kelly?
Gilmour Puppet: SUCK MY DICK WHILE INSERTING TWO FINGERS IN MY ASSHOLE AND MOVING THEM COUNTER-CLOCKWISE YOU QUEER, I'M NOT GAY!
Scorpio: So you dong worship the devil, you got raped by Frodo, and you tell men to wrap their lips around your cock but you're not gay?
The Puppet Peter Gilmour gets so pissed off that he starts jumping around screaming what seems to be English but nobody can really understand it. The puppet jumps around so much that his strings start to tangle and in a matter of moments he collapses to the floor unable to move. Scorpio now returns to his chair and sits down crossing his arms. He has a big grin on his face as he looks into the camera and speaks.
Scorpio: Ladies and gentlemen what you've just witnessed was a reenactment of what happens to Peter Gilmour on a weekly basis. Gilmour allow me to drop some truth on you, you are the best when it comes to generating opportunities for yourself. Seriously brah nobody in the wrestling business even comes close, period. 90% of everybody that comes into contact with you wants their fist to come into contact with your fucking face and in this business that isn't always a bad thing. I mean look at some of the matches that get thrown your way just because of the simple fact that people don't like you. You just had a match with Theo that honestly could have been for the crown if you would have held out for it. Before Steve Davids tossed his title to Morbid Angel he was going to give you a title shot. Not to mention right after you lost to Theo, Wyatt Reynolds came out of left field and offered you a title shot for the opportunity to step into the ring with you. Never in my fucking life have I seen anything even remotely close to how badly people want to get into the ring with you Pete, it's fucking amazing, it really is. Now that is your strong suit brah, getting opportunities whether you deserve them or not simply because people will go the extra mile for the chance to hurt you. However most of the time your gift goes to waste because you can't capitalize on those opportunities. Which is exactly where the formula to beat you that I was talking about in my last promo comes into play. Your problem is that once somebody pisses you off, you self destruct and that is the formula to beat you. All people have to do is piss you off and from there It's all you brah, in the ring and out of it. I mean for Christ sake most of the time in your promos YOU out trash talk YOURSELF and we're all sitting there shaking our heads wondering what the fuck you're doing. Case in point.....
Scorpio claps his hands and the stage curtain opens revealing a a cart with a flat screen television and DVD player on it. Scorpio turns everything on then pops in the DVD he brought on stage with him before grabbing the remote and sitting back down. Hit presses play then on the television a couple of mind numbingly stupid clips from Peter Gilmour's latest promo are shown.
Peter Gilmour Said:I love how he comes out in his little promos running his mouth about the same shit that everybody is talking about.. the old Rose Smith is a man card. God, can anybody in this place be ORIGINAL? It's been almost a year now and we're still on that shit. GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR SHUT THE FUCK UP! There I vented .
Peter Gilmour Said: I'm more focused on kicking some ass and making all of the critics eat their own words and that begins this Tuesday when I strip Scorpio of his dignity and prove that all he is is just some homosexual with makeup on thinking he's Steve Borden. What a joke he is. I mean he comes out asking Mr. Supernova and Theo to wax his hairy legs and to help him choose some bra and panties. I mean are we in a parallel universe where everybody is gay? Well, we all knew Theo was gay but Mr. Supernova? WHO KNEW?
Peter Gilmour Said:
He drops some scorpians on my head after I ended Barney Green's life and just tonight he has to come out after the match and get his shots in. And then he dumps a scorpian on my body and watch it sting me in the neck. Glad it wasn't poisonous or I'd be dead or in a hospital bed. But we all know I can heal from anything right?
Scorpio pauses the DVD.
Scorpio: See Gilmour this is the kind of shit that I'm talking about brah. All I had to do was get you a little mad then your fucking brain just flipped it's shit and you started talking about things THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED! I barely even mentioned Rose in my first promo and not at all in my second. However even when I did mention her not once did I fucking call her a man, NOT ONCE! See motherfucker you're so god damn delusional because of how bad that I've been able to get under your skin that you're responding to shit I never even said. If that wasn't bad enough you also claimed that I asked Nova AND Theo to help me pick out a bra and some panties, plus wax me. BITCH NO I DIDN'T! Theo was never in my second promo aside from the fact that he called Nova and not only did I not ask him to help me pick out anything or wax me, I didn't say a fucking word to him! I'm also going to give you credit and hope to god that you were being clever for the first time in your life when you said that you knew Theo was gay but who knew about Nova. Honestly Pete you probably weren't kidding when you said that but my brain can't comprehend the level of stupid that somebody would have to be in order for them to be unaware of the fact that Nova is a space whore that gets down with men and women. I've been back like two weeks and I know that. Now did I ask Nova to wax me and help me pick out a bra and some panties? Yes, yes I did, so? See unlike you brah, I give a significantly low amount of fucks about what people think about me. It's not quite zero but it's not very many either. If I had to put a number on it I'd say about 0.2, yeah that sounds about right, I GIVE 0.2 FUCKS ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME! For real though, ask yourself this brah, do you really think that I would have dropped the last promo that I did if I cared that much about how people viewed me? NOPE! So you go right ahead and call me a or a cocksucker all you want because it doesn't get to me like it gets to you. Also after I beat the living hell out of you and leave you layed out in the middle of the ring you can then go back and explain to the world how you got your ass beat by a makeup wearing .... AGAIN! Oh snap, the stakes just got raised a little bit more didn't they Pete? You don't want to get your ass beat by a cocksucker now do ya? Go ahead and let that pressure add to the clusterfuck that's already going on inside your mind, your brain might actually shut down completely because it's already pretty fucking close. Now if you noticed I didn't mention that last clip of you Pete and there's a reason for that, just watch.
Scorpio presses play and a clip starts to play from the Olympic episode of Madness.
Quote:Scorpio reaches into the white sack that he brought with him to the ring and pulls out a large black scorpion holding it by the tail as to keep from getting stung. Gilmour struggles desperately to try to get away as Scorpio inches closer and closer to his face with the scorpion. It appears as though Gilmour is having a seizure the way he's trying to shake Pryce and Nova off of him. Scorpio gets the scorpion within centimeters of Gilmour's face before PUTTING IT ON HIS OWN SHOULDER!?!?
Scorpio hits the power button cutting the television off then starts rubbing his forehead like he just got a massive migraine.
Scorpio: I don't even.... How did you.... Classic Gilmour, that's honestly all I can say because I'm not even that shocked, I'm really more disappointed than anything that it was this easy for me to make this man.... So called man.... Fall apart. For those keeping score at home I've got this mental midget so fucked up that he's responding to things I never said, seeing me do things that I never did, and actually remembering shit happening to him THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED. Yet he was more than happy to let me know that he now understands what my strengths and weaknesses are. Come on brah, you expect me to believe that you figured out what my strengths and weaknesses are when you can't even comprehend what I said to you in my promo, what I did in my promo, and what I did to you on Madness? Okay, let's pretend that I buy the fact that you diagnosed my strengths and weaknesses in spite of your brain melting down. Do you really believe that you'll be able to take advantage of my weaknesses Pete? You can't even get through a promo without completely fucking everything up, just you standing in front of a camera and you managed to fuck it up. However you want me to believe that in front of thousands of fans while inside the ring with me trying to rip your head off, you're going to be able to hold everything together and pull off whatever it is that you've got planned to help you beat me? Survey says, NOPE!
Scorpio starts laughing and then just as quickly as he started he stops and gets a serious look on his face as he peers into the camera.
Scorpio: Brah you've been here a long time and this cycle you're in of self destructing, you've been stuck in that for a long time as well. You've also seemingly been unable to figure out how to get out of it. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give you the fucking answer Pete, STOP! JUST FUCKING STOP! Stop letting people get inside your head and pull your strings to the point where you fall apart and end up a tangled mess on the floor like our puppet friend. You care too much about what other people think and say about you brah. It's like you have to make it so that people think you're perfect for some reason. I mean I could say something absolutely fucking ridiculous like Rose Smith straps you to her chest and carries you around town in one of those baby carriers as you suck honey mustard out of her tits because that bitch is so fucked up that she lactates honey mustard instead of regular milk. Fucking insane, makes no god damn sense what so ever but you know what brah, that's the type of shit that you would respond to, get pissed off about, and fucking fall apart because of. That is how much of a fucking weak minded little bitch you are, you can't take an insult of any kind and just let it roll off you. No, any time anybody says ANYTHING to you it's the end of the fucking world and you have to do everything in your power to make sure nobody believes what they said is true EVEN IF IT IS! I don't understand it, I fucking don't, at all. It's like you've got some sort of complex where you want the world to see you as perfect yet you don't realize that while you're doing that you're making yourself look even more pathetic. Case in point, you've been Frodo's bitch for a while and there's no way around that. All he has had to do is say something to you and you respond like a butt hurt douche bag because that's how badly you've allowed him pull your strings and make you dance like the little puppet you are. This is me being nice to you brah and I'm telling you, JUST FUCKING STOP! Stop letting every person on the roster easily manipulate you, cut your strings little puppet and graduate to being a real boy.
Scorpio takes a pair of scissors out of his pocket and places them right next to the Gilmour puppet that is still all tangled up on the stage.
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