Shit I got to do this myself. Man, you never know what you have until it’s gone. I took Nancy doing this so lightly, not I have to do this by myself. Man, fuck this; I’ll just keep it as default. Ezekiel before he is seen walking into the scene. He adjusts his shirt and tie. He grabs a chair and pulls it in front of the screen. He sits in the chair and strokes his facial stubble.

Shove-It: In Deep Shit… I am indeed, in deep shit this show. Seemingly because I have a six man tag team match against…. D Shadows, John Austin, and ….. I can’t believe I’m saying this but MY AIDS. How will that even work? My partners are Asylum and …. I REALLY can’t believe I’m saying this but Barney Green’s cum. So I guess they’re going to take a sample of my blood and used napkins that Barney stores in his locker and just toss it on the apron. Ezekiel just shakes his head in disappointment.

Man this AIDS thing is really starting to bug me. The other day this woman offered to give me a blowjob and as much as I wanted to get my infected dick slobbed on, I denied, for the sake of that bitch’s future. I deserve a fucking Nobel Peace Prize for saving that bitch’s life. I should really talk to Minxs about just curing my AIDS so I can live forever. Being a vampire might not be all bad. Going in the light will be a fucking pain in the ass because I’ll glisten like Edward. And I will be eating fucking cows and chickens, not sandwiches; no I’ll be eating that shit whole.

John Austin….. Finally we will meet in the ring. When I look at you in the face with my cold dead eyes, mentally you’re going to go in a dark corner, lay in the fetal position while sucking on your thumb and crying to Christine Nash to come and save you from the complete destruction at the hands of the closest thing to God himself.

When “Clint Eastwood” hit the speakers and I came to the ramp last week, I looked into your soul and I saw nothing. You’re inner self became nothing and you were stricken with fear. Then when I kicked you in the jaw I knew that I had your number for the rest of your life. From then on out, whenever you see me, you will think nothing but “I hope he doesn’t kick me in the jaw this time,” but I will. I will take your joy, your sunshine, and I will just toss it in a bag along with everything else in the life of the pathetic waste of space that is the XWF.

Ezekiel stands up starts to cough, and cough, and cough before finally catching his breath.

Man, I need to talk to Minxs as soon as possible; this fucking AIDS shit is killing my vibe. Nancy, now that you’re gone I have no one to fight this with. No one at my side that feels my pain and struggle. Something has to fucking give.

I seemed to forget that D Shadows was in this match. The kids so fucking low-key that I forgot he even existed. When I saw his name on the card I was like



I assume you were smoking some great fucking weed in the meantime and just forgot about life. I wish I could do that but drug started to fuck with the AIDS and it wasn’t a good clash so I had to quit Meth.

Yes, you’ve heard it here, Ezekiel Carter-Williams the Fifth does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, and do Meth anymore. It was tough going out cold turkey, but I transitioned to Now and Laters and Pepsi to fulfill my addiction.

Also…. You’ve heard it here… After I am done exterminating the likes of John Austin, I will find you Frodo Smackins, and I will hurt you in every way imaginable. You seem to forget that you were the only person to ever pin me so far in XWF, and I cannot let that go down. No not in this camp. So Frodo, I’m calling you out man to dwarf and telling you that I am coming.

Yo Ezekiel, there are some Mexicans at our door, what do you want me to do. Says Emanuel, yelling from downstairs.

Fuck I’m coming. Ezekiel says as he gets up and leaves the scene before it fades to black.