Hola!


Hunter Payne is set to do an outdoor press conference in Mexico to promote the new Zorro movie he is starring in. Apparently, there is paparazzi in Mexico, Who knew?! Anyway, due to the fact that Mexico is the majority of Zorro's fanbase, Hunter and the rest of the cast must promote there. The problem with this was that Hunter Payne doesn't speak a lick of Spanish. Shocking as that is, he is now faced against thousands of fans and paparazzi and ALL of them speak the native language. Hunter must disguise his unilingual abilities, otherwise the movie is fucked! Because nobody wants to see a Zorro that cannot speak Spanish!


Payne: Hey JT! How is this going down?



Hunter speaking to his Hollywood agent JT before the press conference actually starts. JT is actually texting someone at the moment, so he lifts his index finger at Hunter, giving him the body language of "give me a minute". After JT is done using all of his concentration on his text message, he explains the routine to Hunter.







JT: What's going to happen is, you are going to put on your costume, the whole cast will be announced by their agents, then come up, and once everyone takes a seat on the panel. You will all answer a few questions each.



Payne: But I don't speak Spanish.


JT: I know. That's why I will explain you have a sore throat and I'll answer on your behalf.



Payne: Genius.



JT: Oh and I was speaking to Megan's agent...



Payne: The bitch that plays Elena in the movie?



JT: Yes, that one. We both thought it would be excellent publicity if you two kiss to close out the event.



Payne: Whatever. As long as she's not a bitch about it like she was on set.



JT: And the best part... you will have a firework entrance while you are introduced.



Payne: Wow! That's... expensive...



JT: Hey! I told you I was going to make you a star, and stars have explosive entrances.



Payne: I guess...




Now, in retrospect, using pyrotechnics for a simple press conference may not have been the brightest idea. Nevertheless, the show goes on.

---

Some time goes by. Every individual cast member is announced onto the set by their agent. Hunter gets put into his safe spot, a few feet away from the firework show. The plan is for Hunter to stand behind the pyro and let it finish while he looks like a badass in the background to all his Mexican spectators. Ready to take the stage for the press conference. Hunter awaits JT's introduction.



JT: And now it is time! Please allow me to introduce the man who is donning the Zorro mask now and forever. Hunter Payne!...




The fireworks don't go off. Which is strange. A few seconds go by that seem like an eternity. The crowd of spectators are anxiously waiting. JT has a surprised look on his face. He decides to call Hunter's name again, despite the duds of the pyro.



JT: Hunter Payne!



Hunter walks through his safe spot into the view of his fans. Absorbing all the admiration of the fans, Hunter doesn't realize he is directly in the pyro zone. And of course...



BOOM!!! BOOYAKA!!!


BOOM!!! BOOYAKA!!!


BOOM!!! BOOYAKA!!!


BOOM!!! BOOYAKA!!!







"OH NO! SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULENCE!"



Hunter Payne has just been torched!


Hunter rolls on the floor, holding his face. Screams of agony can be heard over all the commotion. Some spectators wonder if this is part of the show or if Hunter is legitimately hurt. JT runs over to Hunter Payne to check on him.




"WE NEED TO GET HIM TO HOSPITAL!" yells a fan.



JT mutters to himself.


JT: Oh no, Not a hospital in Mexico!

TO BE CONTINUED....