We see Hunter Payne standing up in a large mobile vehicle. Either an RV or a Bus. What's the difference? Anyway, AJ Powell, Joseph Kain, and Ray Peterson are with him. All of them are sitting along the aslie comfotably with plenty of space between them. All men have their eyes glued to Hunter Payne, as he is about to give a speech.



Payne: I call this brief Straight Edge meeting before Madness to discuss our future events. See The Brotherhood may have a dark rape dungeon, and The Black Circle may have an ice cream parlor, but what those goth-fatty-fags don't have is... a fucking Straight Edge Tour bus! Because we must always be on the move, saving people from their terrible mistakes.



First and foremost, Ann Thraxx is inactive and has been forced into rehab. Now I don't care if she comes back with a lobotomy! She's coming back to SEX. I will not let her fall to her alcoholism. Which is why we all must be active socially in getting her better. And by that I mean hashtagging #getbetterann whenever possible, in hopes that she gets better.




Next, please help me formally welcome, Ex MMA fighter, Ex football player, and All around ass kicker, Ray Peterson! Welcome to the Straight Edge Xtreme.


Applause is given to Ray Peterson. The monster stands up and bows his head as a sign of acceptance.



Peterson: Thanks.




Peterson sits back down and Hunter continues his speech.




Payne: Tonight, I will be in a tournament for the number one contendership for the Eur-a-peein' championship. When I first entered the XWF, A great champion once said to me, "Fuck these Championships, they're meaningless to me!" And on day one, I said "you're crazy, you are the European Champion, that's a great accomplishment!" But now I understand what CM Punk was saying almost a year ago. When you really think about it, these XWF Championships and Crown have little to no prestige. Which makes me think this tournament's only sole purpose is to spread Straight Edge awareness by winning.



By the way, who the hell designed these fucking Championships of the "XWF"? They look like WWE Championships that were shitted on, dumped in a garbage, found by a fat garbage man, and sold on Ebay to the highest bidder. Which we then slapped an XWF sticker on and call them championships.



And that crown. Who are we fooling? This isn't the Middle Ages! Since we love to copy the WWE so much. Let's take a look at their crown formula. 32 or 16 man tournament. Guy wins. Turns it into a comedy sketch for a year... Yeah, I don't see a difference between us and them, do you?



But enough of this pitiful company! Why don't I discuss the worthless "talent", and I use the word "talent" loosely, in this tournament. Let me break it down.



Seed 1: Tri Bute - vs - Seed 8: Hunter Payne!

Tri "The man from the future" Bute! If the past teaches us anything, it's that he will be a worthy opponent... Too bad he's so evoked in the future, that he is not involved in the past, or the present for that matter. Which will be his downfall in our match. History lesson for you Tri Bute, Hunter Payne beat you on December 9th, 2013, and there's nothing you can do about it but complain about it in the future.




Seed 2: Mr. Supernova - vs - Seed 7: Michael McBride


Supernova, or by his more common nickname, that I just gave him, XWF's resident alcoholic. Sorry Mr. Santos, but Mr. Supernova has you beaten... Barely. He hides it better, but his comments and breath reek of alcohol. I will say however, he does need to be on some strong prescribed medication. Any man, that looks like a woman, who thinks he's an alien from outerspace. And thinks he has a pet robot. Needs some serious help, mentally. This ain't The Jetsons bitch! Get your act together Nova.



Michael McBride, the man that's known for being Irish... Oh and a drunk Irish stereotype as well. Clean yourself up McBride. You have no idea what you can accomplish living the sober life. You'll see the world more clear, and you might actually win some matches as well. So it looks like it's the battle of the drunks here! Forget the wrestling match, we need to have an intervention in the ring, in place of your freak-show of a wrestling match.





Seed 3: Luca Arzegotti - vs - Seed 6: Griffin MacAlister



Didn't I just go over drunks in the last match? You see you guys, this is a prime example of how bad this company is. You can't go through three matches in a card without the majority being alcoholics! Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, you almost became King of the XWF a few months ago. Does it eat you alive that relative newcomer Theo Pryce became King before you? It's sad, to see your potential get thrown away. Thrown away due to your constant drug and alcohol abuse. I don't compliment druggies much, but your potential is limitless... IF your sober.




Griffin MacAlister, he is the OG Drunk around here, and a great example of what happens when you drink your life away. Yeah it's all fun in your 20's, but tell them how bad it gets at your age Griff. Tell Everybody, that Ally Callaway's baby is Dukes because you physically can't get your dick hard anymore. Be an example of how hard life becomes when you can't please your woman. See SEX, Macalister is somebody who learns how bad alcohol really is... when it's already too late!






Seed 4: Tony Santos - vs - Seed 5: Casey Jones



Damn it! Another drunk! Mr. Anthony Santos, did you guys remember what I said about Lucas? I can say the exact same thing about Santos! Almost became King, constant drug and alcohol abuse, and unlimited potential when sober. Will we ever see a drug and alcohol free Anthony Santos? Or Lucas for that matter? Nope! Because they aren't as strong as you three. Kicking the addiction "is just too hard!" for them. They are all mentally weak. Just one more drink, just one more smoke, they all say. Learn from MacAlister, Santos. You aren't that far from his age. Pretty soon it's going to be too late for you, if it isn't already.



Lastly, Casey Jones. The psychiatrist of the XWF, who hasn't been around for a while now. 5 out of 8 people in this tournament are proud drug and alcohol users abusers. And Casey Jones is an enabler! Much like Shane POTato ! He was our resident psychiatrist, he should be the first person telling these people they have a problem! And where is he? Nowhere to be found! It's enablers like him! Enablers like ! That are the reason the drug abuse problem in the XWF is as bad as it is!




So lastly, Straight Edge Xtreme. I'm going to go out there tonight, and compete in this worthless tournament full of the mentally ill and wasted talent, and win or lose, They will follow Straight Edge!




Hunter Payne gets applauded for every word he said. As he exits the tour bus, we see he is right outside of Wembley Stadium in London. Hunter Payne walks towards the stadium, ready for greatness!