Music hits the arena, that of Smoke Man's, as he exits the curtain, lugging around a quite long box - impressively enough in one hand, even though the box is probably wood, and there is no telling what is inside.

He makes his way down to the ring, ignoring the boos around him, and climbing up the stairs, slipping into the ring. He puts the box to one corner, and opens it up. Out comes a rather large pole, which he puts on the top of one of the corner posts. He also pulls out a bundle of black cloth. Smoke hooks the cloth to the pole and raises it, letting it wave, and revealing a glorious flag of the XWF boss - Shane .

A chorus of boos sway the arena, and Smoke walks over to grab a mic. He tries waiting for the boos to calm down a little before speaking, but decides that that is not going to happen and instead just raises his voice while speaking down the microphone.

Smoke Man: Hello there, XWF.

He waves a little, only amplifying the boos.

Smoke Man: I am Smoke Man, or as you may better know me as; Shane 's 'lacky'.

He spat out that last word with a sort of spiteful distaste, as if the very idea behind it disgusts him. Smoke points his thumb over his shoulder, signalling the flag.

Smoke Man: This man has really helped me as of late, and I really feel that I've helped him too. And for those of you who are too ignorant as to why where even working together - here's a little refresher:

I needed answers for something that had happened to me. And I wanted to get back at Dean McGovern for kicking me out of the Lethal Lottery tournament, which was incidentally on the same day he and Liz decided to throw down a flight of stairs. So out of our common foes came an alliance. Which is why we've sort of just been accompanying one another on and off. Not any sort of Black Circle business, by any stretch of the imagination. No 'protegé' and 'mentor' shtick.

Smoke swaps the mic over in his hands, really getting into the meat of him coming out here.

Smoke Man: Well, as you saw earlier tonight, with the help of Shane I had beat Liz Hathaway, and he had humiliated Dean for all of you to see.

More boos.

Smoke Man: And me? I found my answers. So I guess you could say this alliance had worked for us.

Smoke pulls something out of his jeans pocket. It's pretty small, and the camera can't seem to get a good shot of it, since Smoke is fiddling around with it between his fingers.

Smoke Man: Perhaps that's why he's the head of the company, perhaps that's why he's the leader of such a dominant group; the Black Circle. Because he can get the job done.

Smoke turns to the stage, as if addressing Shane directly.

Smoke Man: But Shane, I guess since you no longer need me for your 'revenge' and, quite frankly, I no longer need you...

Smoke holds the object out. He smirks

Smoke Man: I guess our partnership is over.

We can see that he is holding... a lighter! He ignites it, and with an air of anger, throws it right at the flag!

Up in flames it goes! Shane appears to be melting in the flames! The crowd are almost entirely speechless!

Smoke Man: Shane! I tired of being your lacky, I'm tired of being nothing! I've been waiting too long for my chances in life, so I'm going to take them all...

Smoke points at the flag, as if it is really Shane himself.

Smoke Man: From you!!

Smoke turns to the crowd.

Smoke Man: It's time for the future, ladies and gentlemen! It's time for the rebellion!

Join me! Or fall beneath my boot!

The crowd roar in excitement! Although not entirely certain of what's even going on...

From another pocket, Smoke pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and holds it high above his head. He yells in his own excitement, above the ear-piercing roar of the thousands of people around him.

Smoke Man: In this hand I hold the key! A gift from Shane himself! For any title shot, any time I want!

Smoke buries it back in his pocket before something happens to it. He looks around to the crowd.

Smoke Man: Now if anything, I am a generous man, so I think I'll give a fair warning.

He points to the stage.

Smoke Man: John! Austin!

Next Warfare... I'm coming for you!!

The crowd cheer in approval, and Smoke's theme hits once again. He climbs up the top rope and starts up a chant amongst the crowd...

DOWN WITH CAR-VER! clap clap clapclapclap
DOWN WITH CAR-VER!! clap clap clapclapclap

He nods in approval and starts heading up the ramp when suddenly...

The X-TRON flashes to life! It's Shane 's face and he's covered in sweat. He looks like he's shaking...?

The camera backs up and... he's STILL shitting into buckets?!?

: I had a feeling this was going to happen. Yes, you have a piece of paper that says you get a title shot but does it say it's going to take place next Warfare? Does it say Shane has to listen to your demands surrounding the title shot? I'll give you a heads up... NO! It does not!

Shane groans. An absolutely freaking massive explosion is heard inside of the bucket he's sitting on.

: You think you've got a title shot next Warfare? HA! I think you'll be lucky if I let you peel my potato next Warfare. You'll GET your title shot because I'm a man of my word, but you're going to wait for it. I'm going to give John Austin time to study you and watch you, so he can rip you limb from limb in that ring when you do get your SHOT. Oh, and let's not forget about Eli's rematch clause which most certainly will apply with the way he lost the title to John Austin. Looks like if the card align right, you might be finding yourself in a match with BOTH MEN. Sound good, Pot Man? HA HA HA HA! That joke never gets old...

Another intimidating blast is heard from Shane's anus as the X-TRON cuts. Smoke Man will receive his shot just as promised, but Shane has already thrown a few curve potatoes into the mix.

And why is he STILL shitting?

---

---

---

And now...


Part 1 of our double main event begins!




The Nazi Anthem of Germany begins playing over the speakers as NAZI makes his way out from the back accompanied by Shane . NAZI and Shane both scream HEIL! NAZI marches down to the ring, heiling the entire way while Shane screams HEIL in some of the fans' faces.

NAZI and Shane get into the ring and Shane is thrown a mic.

: It's time for the main event of the evening! I just thought I'd come on out here and take a seat at ringside so I can make sure no rules get broken.

The fans boo and curse at as NAZI nods his head in agreement with Shane's statements.

: It's important that this match goes a certain way.

The fans take exception to this and start some commotion.

: And by that I mean... it has to be a fair contest. Yes, that's the one.

The fans boo Shane as he makes his way to a ringside seat and sits down. An owner that cares enough about his company to actually be at ringside during the main event. WHAT A GUY!

A few seconds pass before...



"A Lesson Never Learned" hits, roaring guitars filling the arena. Tony Santos descends down the entrance ramp, black trench coat on his back, taking slow, confident strides toward the ring. Tonight's crowd is giving him a very mixed reaction with many of them cheering the fact that he looks this rested up after his earlier match. It doesn't matter if they're booing, cheering, spitting or flicking him off; Tony Santos takes it all in with a smirk that would put Alex Rodriguez to shame.

The chorus (Could be the end of the world, I'd still be laid here on my own, wasting my life away!!!) hits, Santos ascends the stairs and enters the ring, looking like he might have been holding his ribs on the way in. All in all he's looking remarkably fit for this match, tossing his coat aside and pulling on the ring ropes. NAZI walks up to him and says something before throwing his arm up, almost in Tony's face! He's actually heiling Tony...

Tony looks over to ringside where Shane is screaming HEIL over and over while bouncing up and down in his steel chair like a complete nut job...

Tony finally looks right at the camera. It's one of those looks "Jim" from The Office might give... a holy shit what the hell is going on around me look.

But then Santos just figures "fuck it," shrugs nonchalantly, AND HEILS RIGHT BACK AT THEM! What the fuck, Tony? Wow.

Boos mixed with indecision rain in from the crowd, Tony still smiling, still after everything the night has thrown his way, finding a way to love the life he lives and the job he holds. NAZI gets a HUGE kick out of this as a smile comes over his face and he gives Tony a very hearty handshake, patting him on his shoulder and showing his approval for Tony's display.

Shane yells up at them from ringside.

: That's right Tony! We're ALL Nazis tonight, just for YOU!

...What? Tony does a double take... what the fuck? He doesn't even bother asking questions though. It's Shane making the insane statement so it's best to just let him have his fun.


Our touching moment is interrupted by...



Dr. Zero makes his way to the ring with Nurse X, examining different members of the crowd. He makes several observations about different audience members as Nurse X quickly scribbles notes on a clipboard. Dr. Zero enters the ring and Nurse X removes his jacket. Dr. Zero then shakes the referees hand but Shane doesn't seem pleased with this. He yells from ringside...

: Get your hands off of my referee, Dr. Zero. You're lucky I'm allowing Nurse X to even be out here because it's a conflict of interest to have a person at ringside who wants you to win. GO NAZI!

Now it's Dr. Zero doing the "WTF" look, straight into the camera. Somehow his empty yet hopeful eyes make it all the more effective.

: Why do you guys keep doing that?

Dr. Zero and Nurse X quietly go over some notes on Nurse X's clipboard, ignoring the crack pot XWF owner as he starts flapping his elbows, pecking the air, and clucking like a chicken.

: Look at me! I'm Dr. Zero! Cluck cluck cluck.

Shane is actually high stepping around ringside, flapping his arms and doing an occasional leap into the air. Dr. Zero's attention is drawn to Shane for just a moment as he strategizes with Nurse X.

Dr. Zero: Plebeian...

He mumbles under his break and turns his attention back to the clipboard. Meanwhile Shane is now doing cartwheels at ringside, screaming "Heil Hitler! Kill Chickens!"


After a few moments the lights go out!



The lights remain off for several more seconds while Eccentricity plays. When the lights come on, Egyptian Snow Pharaoh is shooting through mid air with a well placed kick to Tony Santos' chest, sending him flying back and over the top rope to the outside!

Oh shit! Tony crashes into Shane who was "pecking" the ringside apron for some ungodly reason!

Tony looks surprisingly fine after that. Shane took most of the damage and is rolling around on the ground, screaming in pain. EMTs quickly rush to Shane's aid as Tony slowly backs away from the owner. Dr. Zero has taken his spot in his corner while Egyptian Snow Pharaoh and Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus are going to start things off in this match!

Tony goes over to his corner and the match officially begins while Shane is being carried to the back.

NAZI and ESP circle each other around, sizing each other up. They finally lock up and ESP shockingly backs NAZI into the corner. The ref signals ESP to back off, and she does while staring down the ref. NAZI quickly takes advantage of this slight mishap by hitting ESP with a Zyklon B Big Boot! ESP falls to the mat, but quickly recovers and smiles sadistically at NAZI.

They lock up again, and ESP Irish whips NAZI to the ropes. NAZI comes back on the rebound and hits ESP with a Luftwaffe Lariat. ESP hits the mat hard and holds her head in pain. NAZI begins to attack ESP with the Selektion Stomp. Stomp after grueling stomp, NAZI is going berserk out there! NAZI picks ESP up by the hair and drags her to his corner. Tony Santos slaps NAZI on the back and hops over the rope. NAZI knees ESP in the face and Tony grab ESP and do a few forearm chops, while the crowd yells “WOO” like the illegitimate fucktards that they are. Tony Irish whips ESP to the ropes, ESP on the rebound clotheslines Tony to the outside of the ring!

ESP goes to tag in Dr. Zero and exits the ring. Dr. Zero enters the ring and notices Tony Santos slowly entering the ring. Dr. Zero runs to Santos and executes a Baseball Slide, kicking Santos in the jaw. Dr. Zero exits the ring and grabs Santos by his locks! Dr. Zero repeatedly rams Tony’s head into the barricade! Dr. Zero puts Tony back in the ring and slides in the ring. Dr. Zero goes for the pin!

...1









Tony kicks out and knees Dr. Zero in the temple. Tony rolls over and kips up. Dr. Zero gets up and they lock up. Dr. Zero attempts a knee but Tony grabs his leg and hits him with a leg whip. Tony keeps a grip on Dr. Zero’s leg and locks him in a one legged Boston crab!

ESP enters the ring and boots Tony in the face, breaking the hold up in the process. NAZI enters the ring and begins to unravel punches to ESP. Punch after Punch, ESP is taking here! ESP is dazed while resting on the middle rope and NAZI feels this is great time to hit ESP with a Sieg Heil Spear sending both ESP and NAZI out of the ring!

Dr. Zero is up and begins to stop Tony in the chest and face. Dr. Zero sits Tony up and runs to the rope. On the rebound Dr. Zero hits Santos with an elbow to the jaw, then a pin!

...1











Tony kicks out! Dr. Zero picks Tony up and Tony lashes at Dr. Zero with a barrage of punches. Tony Irish whips Dr. Zero to the ropes, and on the rebound hits Dr. Zero with an enziguri! T ony reaches over and tags in NAZI! NAZI picks Dr. Zero up and kicks him in the mid-section. Gas Chamber GTS! But Dr. Zero is still standing! NAZI then grabs Dr. Zero…. The Concentration Clamp! NAZI has it locked it! NAZI turns up the hold and Dr. Zero is …. Well you can’t tell if he’s in pain or not because he’s always making one facial expression, but it must be a very uncomfortable position!

Dr. Zero knees NAZI in the back of the head and NAZI releases the hold. Dr. Zero reaches out and tags in ESP; NAZI does the same to Santos. ESP and Tony Santos both enter the ring and charge at each other. Double clothesline, both stars are down! ESP drapes her arm over Santos’s body.

...1










...2






Santos kicks out! ESP can’t believe it! ESP picks Tony up angrily by the hair; Tony grabs ESP by the legs and flips her to the ground. Tony locks in Santos Stretch! Tony has it in tight! ESP is writhing in pain, and Tony Santos is just going to tighten up the hold.















Will ESP give up……?
















...... but Dr. Zero enters the ring! Tony lets go of the hold and Dr. Zero exits the ring, but that split interruption allowed ESP to roll away from Tony’s clutches. Tony grabs ESP by the leg again, but ESP kicks him in the face, and Tony stumbles back. ESP kips up and hits Tony with a Boot to the jaw. Tony falls flat on his back! ESP realizes her opportunity and goes to the turnbuckle! She leaps onto the top turnbuckle and turns completely around so that she’s facing Tony. ESP flies off the top turnbuckle! Tony ESP Award! That theif! She covers...

...1
















...2










NOOOOOOO!!!!!! TONY KICKS OUT AGAIN! What a showing by Tony Santos! ESP can’t believe it! She picks Tony up and EGYPTAIN SNOW FALL!!! ESP with a cover...

...1












...2



















TONY KICKS OUT AGAIIN!!! HOLY GOD! OH MY SHIT!! ESP gets into the ref’s face and argues with him for what seems like an eternity. She actually appears to be getting into a debate with him for an extended period of time. In the meantime, Tony tags in NAZI who runs up to ESP and drop kicks her right in the back! Her body is forced into the referee and they knock heads! The ref instantly collapses!

NAZI goes to climb the turnbuckle. He throws up the NAZI salute and hits ESP with a Diving Fuhrer’s Elbow! He covers but there is no official to count...

...







...






...










...Zero!

As in Dr. Zero!

Nurse Z had handed him some kind of contraption. It looks like it's disguised as a Pepsi can but... it sprays!

A mist of clear spray is sent toward Tony Santos, instantly causing him to cover his face and drop to the ground. NAZI sees this and gets off ESP to charge Dr. Zero but he gets sprayed too! NAZI goes down in the same fashion as Tony Santos, both men writhing in pain and holding their faces. Their grunts and groans put a smile on ESP's face as she slowly gets to her feet. Dr. Zero gives the soda can back to Nurse X and joins ESP in just a good old fashioned mauling. Whatever Dr. Zero sprayed in NAZI and Santos' faces doesn't seem to be clearing up anytime soon as the two of them continue to scream in agony while being beaten mercilessly by ESP and Zero.






Suddenly the X-TRON lights up!




OH MY GOD...

It's Shane ...

In the back...

Shitting into a bucket AGAIN.

The sounds of his shit exploding out of his ass echo from inside the bucket.

: Don't think you're getting away with that. I've got my EYE on this match even if I've got the shits.

ESP and Dr. Zero look up at the X-TRON while Shane continues to shit and talk.

: I'm sending a new referee out there to take over this match and he's going to help NAZI and Tony get cleaned up before it continues. Ugh...

Another hard squeeze and Shane fills a good portion of the bucket. The camera cuts away from Shane to leave him to his business.

A few seconds later, a new referee comes running out from the back as fast as possible. He's got a few EMTs with him who all check on NAZI and Tony Santos. They take some water and rags and help them wipe their faces off. The EMTs continue helping wash out their eyes while the new referee turns to ESP and Dr. Zero.

New Ref: I'm going to tell you guys this one time and one time only.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out...

A HANDFUL OF SAND!

The new ref just threw Egyptian sand in Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's face!

Dr. Zero kicks the new ref's leg out from under him and while the ref is down on his knee, Zero nails a shining wizard that knocks the ref unconscious!

Now BOTH referees are out!



DING!!!!!!!



NAZI with the ring bell! He just smashed Zero in the head with the ring bell!

Dr. Zero goes down like a ton of bricks as ESP tries wiping sand out of her eyes. She must be able to partially see NAZI coming because she ducks under his wild shot with the ring bell and counters with a spinning kick that sends the bell flying. NAZI stumbles back but he doesn't go down!

ESP charges and smashes NAZI in the face with a forearm...

HE STARTS TO SHAKE!

ESP rapidly jabs him in the face, punches him in the gut, headbutts him, and dropkicks him in the face...

AND HE ONLY SHAKES HARDER!

OH MY GOD!

HE'S NAZI'ING UP!

Another punch to the face and he just shakes it off!

He points his finger right in ESP's face!

NAZI & fans: HEEIIILLL!

ESP goes to throw another punch but he catches it and chops her in the throat with a heil! He actually heiled her in the throat! He follows up with a few punches and then whips her into the ropes, catching her with a big boot. ESP goes down and NAZI stands at her head, screaming down into her face.

NAZI: Fucking sand !

And he bounces off the ropes... the most racist leg drop in all of wrestling! He nailed it!

He steps aside as he sees out of the corner of his eye Tony Santos already standing on the top tope...

THE TONY AWARD! (shooting star press)

Right at the exact same time NAZI was receiving the ZERO SUM from Dr. Zero! (UltraMantis Black's Cosmic Doom)

Dr. Zero and Tony Santos go head to head, exchanging a flurry of rights and lefts just doing whatever they can to try and get that upper hand in this crucial moment. They start grappling and go down, punching each other in the ribs and rolling around until they both spill out of the ring. Both men scramble to their feet and it's Dr. Zero who catches Tony with a rising knee that sends Tony back a few steps. Tony is directly in front of the steel steps now...

Dr. Zero charges him but Tony back body drops Zero up and into those steps! Zero just landed right on the steps!!!

Zero goes through the electrocuted looking experience that wrestlers seem to go through when they experience severe back pain. He writhes on the ground with his hand behind his back, shaking and twitching as Tony returns to the ring. Tony rushes over to ESP and pulls her up, only to bring her right back down with a neckbreaker near the corner. He quickly climbs to the top... FINAL DESTINATION! (senton bomb)

He instinctively covers but both refs are STILL down!!!

Tony gets to his feet and hears some of the fans chanting in the front row... wait a second... can they really be chanting THAT?

Tony cups his hand to his ear...

Yes, they are! They're chanting "teabag...teabag...teabag..."

Tony once again looks at the refs and sees they are both motionless. He then looks back to ESP who is also motionless...

The fans start screaming for it! TEABAG TEABAG TEABAG!

Tony throws his hands up and starts pumping his fists! The fans roar! OH MY GOD!!!

He marches right over to ESP and he does it!

TEA BAG! THE FANS ARE IN A FUCKING UPROAR! The entire place goes nuts! They can't believe he's actually done it! Tony just teabagged a naked woman!

The fans get into a "holy shit" chant as Tony just soaks it all in for a few seconds while the refs are still down anyway. Suddenly the chant changes...

Wait a minute...

NO...

THEY CAN'T BE...

Fans: Now do him! Now do him! Now do him!

They're all pointing at Dr. Zero!

Tony looks around at the fans holding his hands out and then he looks at Dr. Zero and points at him. They pop like crazy.

Santos exits the ring and collects the aching Dr. Zero, rolling him into the ring and slamming him down hard in the middle of the ring.

There are no words to describe the level of sound these lunatic fans have reached. MULTIPLE chants are all going on at different sections of the arena...

Fans: HOLY SHIT... HOLY SHIT...

Fans: Now do him! Now do him!

Fans: Tea Bags For All... Tea Bags For All...

There are fans ripping their shirts off!

There are fans ripping their pants off!

All control has been lost of this mother fucking god forsaken pay per view extravaganzaaaaaaa!

BECAUSE TONY SANTOS IS STANDING OVER DR. ZERO!

He's going to do it!

He starts to dip...

BANG!

CRACK!

HOLY FUCK!

NAZI had woken back up not fully realizing what was happening, saw Dr. Zero sprawled out, and PUNTED Dr. Zero right in the groin!

The only problem is the pain made Dr. Zero SHOOT UP!

He sat right up with his beak making contact with Tony's tea bag! OH MY GOD! TONY JUST GOT PECKED IN THE BAG!

Tony hops around the ring, face beet red and his hands over his family jewels while Dr. Zero rolls around on the canvas in a similar motion. NAZI goes over to Dr. Zero and reaches down to pull him up, but Dr. Zero pokes him in the eye. NAZI steps back holding his eye in pain as Dr. Zero lunges forward with a headbutt to NAZI's gut, completely catching him off guard and almost making him puke. NAZI is hunched forward now as Dr. Zero raises his hands...

AND THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

When they come back on a few seconds later, Dr. Zero looks like NAZI! Has he literally morphed? Are some advanced holographic effects at work? Much like last week, "Dr. Zero as NAZI" proceeds to deliver NAZI's own Iron Cross finisher to him!

The lights go back out and when they return, Dr. Zero is once again his normal self. Tony Santos is still holding his package in great pain as Dr. Zero turns his attention to him. He motions for Tony Santos to come at him, but instead instantly breaks into a spring and dropkicks Tony in the chest while he was still holing his nuts. Tony goes down hard as Dr. Zero looks over and sees...

THE ORIGINAL REF WAKING UP!

Dr. Zero quickly looks around the ring and sees all the bodies. He quickly rolls the "new" referee's unconscious body out of the ring, followed by rolling NAZI out of the ring. Zero rushes over to ESP and helps her up, smacking her in the face lightly to snap her out of it. He shakes her shoulders rapidly as her head bobs around.

Suddenly ESP shoves Zero out of the way as Tony Santos was charging in and ESP catches Tony with a rising knee followed by an Egyptian finger toss. Tony gets back up as Dr. Zero is waiting behind him for... Anesthesia! (Dr. Zero pulls the opponent into position for a Scorpion Deathdrop, but instead drops to one knee driving the other into the opponent's spine) He holds the move in place, turning it into THE OPERATION! He has that dragon sleeper locked in tight!

ESP sees that referee still recovering, but notes how long he is taking. She looks back over at the situation in the ring and with Tony in that standing dragon sleeper, she decides to climb the turnbuckle and land a diving thrust kick right into Tony's stomach! Her foot smashes into his gut, forcing him to bend instantly down into a seated dragon sleeper AND DR. ZERO STILL WON'T LET GO!

Dr. Zero rolls onto his side still holding onto Tony and he wraps his legs around Tony's body while still trying to bend his head backward off of his body with that "Operation" dragon sleeper. Tony looks helpess except for his one free arm that is flapping around wildly until...

ESP grabs his free arm and looks in an arm breaker submission!

He's locked in a full body dragon sleeper AND arm breaker combination!

Fans: Holy fuck! Holy fuck!

NAZI is still down and out after taking his own finishing move and now the ref has finally turned his attention to what's going on in the ring.

Ref: What in the blue blazes???

The ref has no idea which people are legal and which should be in the corner. He doesn't know who to order to release their hold on Tony!

ESP continues wrenching away on the arm while Dr. Zero keeps his Operation locked in fully... and Tony's body eventually falls limp.

The ref looks very concerned as Tony has completely stopped moving. The ref looks out at ringside where NAZI still appears to be in a lot of pain and moving very slowly.








The ref looks back at Tony... he has to act fast!










The ref leans in and yells Tony's name. There's no response..








The ref looks back and forth in a panicked state before finally doing it! He's calling for the bell!

DING DING DING!!!

The referee frantically yanks at ESP and Dr. Zero's arms to get them off of Tony Santos. They look ready to attack him but he grabs both of their wrists and raises them into the air!

Winners: Egyptian Snow Pharaoh & Dr. Zero

---

---

---

MAIN EVENT
Egyptian Snow Pharaoh
- vs -
Dr. Zero
For the 24/7 Briefcase!

The bell rings and we're ready to go! The final match to see who takes the Lethal Lottery Briefcase home! ESP and Dr. Zero circle each other once, twice...three full times.


They feel each other out a bit, both throwing a few jabs at the air...


They lock up... AND BOTH COMPETITORS GO DOWN!


It...It looked like they collided heads when they went for the lockup! Neither competitor is moving. The ref is confused, but he begins the standard double ten count when both competitors are down like this...


1...







2...







3...







4...







5...







6...







7...







8...







NO MOVEMENT! IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS!







9...







TEN!!!!

The ref calls for the bell!

Huge amounts of booing fills the air as people throw their drinks into the ring and other random garbage.

As soon as the bell sounds, Dr. Zero and ESP both just stand back up like nothing happened! What the hell?

ESP grabs the briefcase and Dr. Zero retrieves a blowtorch from under the ring. They stand in the center of the ring and it looks as if they're about to take the torch to the case.


They're about to destroy it! NO!


They use the blowtorch to cut the briefcase in half! Both ESP and Dr. Zero now have a half of the Lethal Lottery Briefcase.


Shane makes his way to the ring, huffing and puffing and holding his ass. He's walking kind of bow legged after shitting so much today and seems to be in a foul mood.

: There is no way in hell you two are about to end it like this!

He puts his hands on the briefcase halves and tries to pry them loose. ESP and Dr. Zero knock down, sending what looks to be about a dozen potatoes bouncing out of his jacket pockets and rolling around! It's like when you kill an enemy in a video game and a bunch of coins fly out of him! What the hell?!

Wait a minute!

Tony Santos and NAZI were still at ringside recovering all this time and they are NOT happy with what's taking place.

They storm into the ring and we have another brawl on our hands! Nazi after ESP, Santos attacking Dr. Zero! What's this? Dr. Zero's Minions are storming the ring from the audience and flooding down from the ramp! They're attacking everyone!

Nazi and Santos are standing their ground against the horde of Minions. Some are stomping . They're even snatching fans out of the crowd!



Dr. Zero looks bothered in the corner now.



Is he injured?



Feathers are falling off of his head!



Are those HORNS he's sprouting!?



Wait a minute!



He's changing...



INTO GARY!?! Stevie Tyler's demon has returned to the XWF, but what the hell!?!

Gary goes on a rampage, chokeslamming everything in sight. Minions are being tossed around left and right!

Gary catches Nazi and Santos, DOUBLE-CHOKESLAM!

He turns and glares at ESP.

Gary grabs her by the throat...and he begins to shrink. Right here, before everyone's eyes, Gary has now transformed into the former X-Treme Champion, Stevie Tyler!

Fans: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!

Some of the fans farther back can even be heard chanting...

Fans: Welcome back! Welcome back!

Stevie backs away from ESP and surveys the damage, looking panicked and upset.

Stevie Tyler: Oh god...Oh god...I'm sorry...I'M SO SORRY!

Stevie shouts as he runs away from the ring, with half of the briefcase.



ESP stands in the center of the ring, alone.



The X-Tron flickers on. A blurry image of a man appears. Is this Chuck? The man who has been commanding ESP? It has to be!

Chuck: Egyptian Snow Pharaoh, sit down.

She obeys, sitting indian-style in the middle of the ring.

The blurry image continues to flicker and change color in erratic patterns as "Chuck" addresses Pharaoh...

Chuck: With all of the physical distraction in play right now at that arena, I had no way to break through to you on any mental level, so I devised a plan to communicate my commands to you visually and verbally in front of the world.

This is my command — You are to retain your half of that briefcase and immediately retrieve the man you saw running out of here just a few moments ago. Find Stevie Tyler... Trap him... Make him listen to your words as you say the following:

"Golgari Baal'Nezz in nomine Lucifer filius scinditur." Or just tell him our boss gave us joint custody. He has custody of the boy for 2 weeks every month and I, Drotte the Liar...DR. ZERO acquire the boy for the remaining 2 weeks. Baal'Nezz is not always the most educated when it comes to Latin.

Once you tell him that, my dear... everything will be fine and you can just stand back until your partner, Dr. Zero, is once again standing before you. I will be standing before you. Go... retrieve my body for me. Then... from there... the two of you will go on to put those briefcase halves to a very unique use.

Pharaoh nods in the ring and grabs her half of the briefcase, heading directly to the backstage area in pursuit of Stevie Tyler.

What the hell did we just witness?

^Pretty much my reaction to this.

wow that was.... what the fuck just happened?

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Shit just got real.

The Thunder's comin for XWF!

Wow

That was a superbly done PPV. Well done, everyone.

September 2013 and May 2019 Star of the Month
1x Hart Champion
1x Television Champion
1x Xtreme Champion