"It's not going to be easy for yours truly because it will be a Lumberjack match and I know everybody on the XWF roster wants a piece of my ass. That sounds kinda gay doesn't it?" -- Peter Gilmour being Peter Gilmour


John Madison is in his hotel room relaxing on the bed when all of a sudden he receives a message on his tablet device. It turns out, that message is from his friend N.A.Z.I. who has taken the time to send all of Peter Gilmour's recent promos to John Madison. John isn't too crazy about downloading an hour worth of Peter Gilmour being an idiot, but oh what the hell. He is John's opponent after all, and Peter Gilmour is constantly talking shit. Why not watch the promo and respond to the promos in the form of a promo-- a promo within a promo. It could work...


So John Madison does just that. He walks over to the desk of the hotel room, adjusts the camera focus and lighting, lights a cigarette, and commences in watching Peter Gilmour make a fool of himself.

Quote:Johnny boy, you've had a ton of shit to say about me in your last promo, though I fell asleep through most of it. Why? Because it's the same damn thing every time.

PAUSE ||

"Wow, Peter. It's funny you say that because you do exactly the same fucking thing. Every week the first thing that comes out of your mouth is something along the lines of, 'oh my God, this is guy's promo is so boring that I fell asleep,' and yet you go on to analyze the entire promo. Make up your mind, Peter. Did you fall asleep like the lazy sack of shit that you are, or did you watch the promo to maybe learn something about your opponent for once? Trust me, people would rather listen to this very promo on repeat than sit through whatever the fuck it is you're doing. But do you see me bringing that up? No, not until now and that was only because you needed to hear it so you would shut up about it. I enjoy your promos, Peter. I enjoy them the same way I enjoy watching one of those 'fail' compilations where there's ten different scenes of a guy smashing hits nuts on a rail. That's why I've never confronted you about your lack of skill in the promo department until now. You make me laugh, Pete. I listen to the things you say and I piss myself laughing. Please, don't take this the wrong way though. Please, keep looking like an idiot every week. It helps me to relieve stress."

Quote:We all know you and Luca are lovers.

PAUSE ||

"If 'we all know' then why do you continue to bring it up, Peter? Why are you so desperate to turn me into this image that you have formed in your head of me? Do I sit next to Luca and treat his wounds? Yes. I treat Luca's injuries the same way any medic out on the battlefield would treat his fellow soldier. Of course, look at who I'm talking to-- Peter Gilmour doesn't know the first thing about war. Someone calls him fat or calls his girlfriend a tranny and he gets all bent out of shape and cries about it.


'boohoo, I'm not fat'


Yes, you are.


Regardless, why don't you stand up for yourself and actually do something about it for once? Oh wait, you already tried and failed because... well, because you're too fat. I'm sorry, Peter, but this is just one of those things where the bullies happen to be correct. You are fat, weak, and pathetic, and calling me a isn't going to change that. In fact, calling me won't change anything whatsoever.


What if I am gay, Peter?


Better yet-- what if Luca is gay?


You've lost to a man who you believe to be a homosexual how many times now? And supposedly the reason you lost was because of his gay lover's involvement? Hmm, what does that say about you, Peter? It's pretty hilarious that you talk down to homosexuals like that but then you go on to lose to someone who, in your mind, is gay. The point is, my sexual orientation and Luca's sexual orientation-- or anyone's sexual orientation-- holds no significance to the outcome of the match.


Since Peter Gilmour is into transgenders, does that mean that all transgenders are fat losers? No, it doesn't."

Quote:You only have a select few that like the Black Circle and are siding with you in this match.

PAUSE ||

"Wow, Gilmour. You did not pay attention this week, did you? Go back and actually watch what the lumberjacks had to say for this match. Ricky Desmond, Jason E Smith, Cam Lang, and Archie Lawson have all spoken in favor of John Madison, and I've never even met half of these fucks. Has anyone bothered cutting a promo declaring you as their favorite?


It doesn't even matter, really. I've got The Black Circle and The Congregation out at ringside to support me and that's all that matters. "

Quote:And I know he got those clothes from some department store. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to get a long cloak with a hood to dress up like The Messenger so don't play stupid with me John because I know all your tricks.

PAUSE ||

"I think that you're underestimating the range of The Messengers abilities, Peter. Wow, and this is your fellow Brotherhood member too. You're basically saying that anyone can become The Messenger simply by throwing on a cloak. That's a load of bullshit, Peter. That cloak is one of a kind; there's no other like it. And even if it was a knock-off cloak, it still doesn't explain why Duke's Asmodeus cane was in Luca's hands. You just chose to ignore that part, didn't you? But fine; I'll drop the subject. After all, I'm not the one who's gonna have to walk around with Duke's knife sticking out of my back."

Quote:I never needed Poppa Fedder or Soldier to get the Tag and Trios Titles.

PAUSE ||

"Fair enough. So why don't you find a new tag partner and go after the Tag Titles then? Better yet, how come a veteran such as yourself isn't going after the European Title or United States Title? Oh wait-- because you lose every number one contenders match that's thrown your way."

Quote:First off, Soldier was high as fuck after a night of Bloody Mary's so his head wasn't on straight.

PAUSE ||

"Soldier is always high as fuck, you moron. And no, you didn't even come close to changing the stipulations. Soldier basically told you to bite your tongue and follow his lead, and that's exactly what you did. If you were truly a defending champion then you would have told Soldier to fuck off and then laid down what the stipulations were gonna be. After all, you're the one who's competing every week, right?


Oh wait, you haven't done jack shit this week, haven't you?


No, you chose to sat on your ass and wait to make a statement on Mega Madness while rookie shithead LJ Havok went out on the road and worked his ass off all week. Good job, Peter. The rookie is showing more determination in two weeks than you've shown in two years. Holy shit, you're pathetic."

Quote:Oh, it's TRUE guys. It's DAMN TRUE! Ok, enough talking like some Olympic Hero who wrestles for some run down promotion and gets DUI's all the time and now has to go to rehab like a little BITCH!

PAUSE ||

"Wait, are you actually saying that it would be better for Kurt Angle to refuse rehab in order to better himself? You're an idiot, Peter. You hate bullies yet you're going to make fun of someone who has a drinking problem for seeking help? The fact of the matter is, Kurt Angle is actually doing something to get his life on track while you're still weighed down by all of your problems. I suppose you think Kurt would be better off just competing under the influence of alcohol the same way that you compete under the influence of diabetes. "

Quote:At least I got a wife who is a WOMAN than you fucking Shane and Luca Arzegotti in the ass on a nightly basis. Don't believe me? Why did you have to console Shane and Luca after their dog died huh?

PAUSE ||

"I don't understand. What does a person comforting his friend over the loss of a family member have to do with homosexuality? Is every person who comforts his or her friend a homosexual now? Is that your way of thinking?

Quote:I have won almost all the titles here in the XWF minus the European, US and TV Titles

PAUSE ||

"Right, so you've won everything except half of the titles that are in circulation right now? Funny how most of these titles that you haven't won are singles-only championships. "

Quote:You can come out here flapping your gums saying I didn't deserve to be in this match. But weren't you the one who put me in the match John?

PAUSE ||

"Yes, I put you in the match. No, you didn't deserve it. It really is that simple, Peter. Neither of these two statements contradict each other. You can be in a match without deserving it, and that is the case with you. I put you in the match for my personal enjoyment. You're kind of like a clown. Not only that, but I'm kind of tired of hearing you run your mouth every week. After Mega Monday there really won't be any reason for you to do it anymore. I'll continue to talk about how fat you are and how your fiancé is a man, and you'll just learn to accept it since I'll remain as your superior.


Look, I could go on for hours about all the asinine shit that comes out of Gilmour's mouth, but what's the point in me pointing out the obvious? It's all out there. Just watch the first three minutes of any Peter Gilmour promo and you'll see just how ignorant the man is.


Oh and shut up, LJ."