Spirit Halloween Presents: XWF Anarchy 10 - 23 - 2025 LIVE FROM THE SPIRIT HALLOWEEN FLAGSHIP STORE! EGG HARBOR TOWNSHIP, NEW JERSEY EL LANDERSON - vs - RAZOR BLADE ANIMATRONIC MASSACRE MATCH: The match will take place in the Animatronics section of the store! But beware, these Animatronic creatures seem to have a mind of their own! Win by pinfall or submission. BARNEY GREEN - vs - SUMMER PAGE TRICK or SPOIL: The match takes place in the 'employees only' section of the store! Dozens of warehouse boxes will be set up all around the back of the store, some containing TRICKS that will hurt whoever opens them, and some containing SPOILS which will help! To win the match, you must open the 1 hidden box filled with candy! LARRY TACT - vs - CLUTCH CASSIDY - vs - MR. OZ MONSTER MASH MAYHEM: Each wrestler will be accompanied to the store by 1 random Spirit Halloween employee, who will be dressed in a costume of their choosing. In order to win, you must ensure that your employee companion is not pinned or submitted by your opponents! If your employee companion is pinned or submitted by either of your opponents, you are eliminated from the match! KRISTOFFER 'VAMP' ARROYO - vs - BETSY GRANGER BELLA ON A POLE: A Spirit Halloween employee will be dangling down from the ceiling, dressed in an officially licensed Bella Swan costume! Whoever climbs up the ladder and saves Bella will be declared the winner! KIERAN KING © - vs - SCOOPS MCGEE O' CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN: Both wrestlers will be dressed up as PIRATES while they battle across the store in search of a pinfall or submission! That is all! THUNDER KNUCKLES© & ??? - vs - XXXVI © & THE DIRECTOR GLASS CEILING TAG MATCH: A wrestling ring will be set up on the roof of the store. Surrounding the ring, will be nothing but GLASS SHARDS- all across the roof! The only way to win is by pinning BOTH members of the other team inside the ring...or, you can simply YEET them off the roof to eliminate them! The Anarchy Tag Team Championships will be on the line. 2 RPs per Team @ 1K each RP

The Anarchy theme hits and the scene opens up to overhead drone shot of the Spirit Halloween parking lot. It's packed full of day to day daily drivers and mostly minivans! Through the maze of cars is an enormously long line of desperate fans and Halloween shoppers trying to get inside the flagship show! There's no way the building can possibly say it's under the building capacity and a fire Marshall is sure to show up!

TODD: Welcome XWF Fans to another exciting and SPOOOOOOKY night of Thursday Night Anarchy! As you can see, we're at the flagship store of our partners, Spirit Halloween, who have are bringing you this show tonight' and it's standing room only!

BAMA: That's right Todd, it looks like Black Friday out there! The action might become more intense in the parking lot than in the ring!

The drone lowers as flys over a few angry heads and through the door.

Todd: These people have been waiting for hours to get in, and with superstars like ours, there's no question why!

BAMA: Um.. actually Todd. There is a question...take a look.

The drone sweeps through a tangled mess of people before settling on a cash register.

[/color]


TODD: OMG! It's the Anarchy Champion! It's Aphrodite Incarnate, Atara Raven herself and look at her go! A champ of the people! She's selling tickets and costumes!

BAMA T: She's holding up the damn production Todd! She's not even in the card tonight and after losing to Centurion why should she be!

TODD: Oh shut up Bama, clearly it's her first day, but more importantly the Champ is Here! Tonight is gonna be an exciting night!

TODD: Folks, we’re opening tonight with… one of the oddest stipulation matches we’ve had in XWF Halloween history… Strike that, one of the strangest stipulations in XWF History!

BAMA: Brought to you by Spirit Halloween!

TODD: Our two competitors will do battle inside a Spirit Halloween… Contained to the Animatronics Section! And they’ll do battle up and down the aisle, between animatronics all set to go off!

BAMA: Like a kind of robotic lumberjack match! I can’t wait, Toddrick! Stop flappin’ ya gums and let’s GET IT ON![/white]



When Booyka 619 hits, El Landerson walks through the automatic doors of the Spirit Halloween’s front door. He kneels down on one knee and prays. He gets up and points to the Fans as Pyro fireworks burst open and switch to the other side of the stage in does the same thing in after he was done he slowly walks into the store in slaps some little kids high fives!

[blue]TODD: El Landerson! The Bit Luchador! He fought an absolutely hellacious fight with Ace Sky at Spooky Savage at his debut and came inches away from victory, but was cast 40-feet downward into a void-like abyss!

BAMA: And he’s back competing three days later! There’s that Theo Pryce Lifetime Healthplan in action!

TODD: Regardless, his second match competing in the XWF is another halloween-themed stipulation! He and Razor Blade are old friends, longtime allies… that have never faced each other before!

BAMA: Never in the ring and never in the animatronic section of a Spirit Halloween! But history is made in Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey! Who will win?

Landerson stops and stares at a kid in the crowd and hands him his Luchdor Mask to him and heads straight towards the ring and makes it to one end of the animatronic aisle and poses both fingers in mid air.

…

The crowd are seen chatting amongst one another when the lights suddenly go out in the Spirit Halloween store, causing a little buzz from the crowd.

]

''Wrestling has more than one... royal family.''

As soon as those words are heard, the crowd inside the Target Center erupted as you heard the commentator's reaction as well.

[blue]TODD: What?!? No freaking way! Is he here? Is Razor Blade in the building?!?

BAMA: …Yeah, he is, Toddrick. He showed up for his scheduled match like he always does.


JC: Egg Harbor Township’s own! Razor Blade!

BG: …’Egg Harbor Township’s own’? Razor’s from Atlanta! Toddrick, if you don’t start making sense, I’m gonna start thinkin’ you were replaced with an elaborate animatronic!



TODD: El Landerson and Razor Blade have been friends for YEARS! They’ve trained together, they’ve shouted each other out in promos… But finally, these two very different forces collide!

BAMA: Absolutely, Toddrick! These two men are going to war tonight! Fighting amongst animatronic machines that want to do them harm! This is gonna be like Terminator 2: Judgment Day… is T2 took place entirely inside one aisle of a Spirit Halloween.



TODD: Bold choice to have… EXACTLY the same amount of pyro he does when he competes in an arena… shooting off just outside of the front door of the Spirit Halloween.

BAMA: Hey! Budget’s already allocated, Todd! You don’t use it? Next show, you might LOSE it!

TODD: Fair enough! Well, folks, get ready for something truly insane! Landerson! Blade! ANIMATRONIC MASSACRE MATCH!

EL LANDERSON - vs - RAZOR BLADE ANIMATRONIC MASSACRE MATCH: The match will take place in the Animatronics section of the store! But beware, these Animatronic creatures seem to have a mind of their own! Win by pinfall or submission.

HIGHLIGHT REEL

Our two competitors meet in the center of the aisle and immediately lock up for a little collar and elbow in the animatronic aisle!

TODD: And we’re off! Blade and Landerson jockeying for control!

BAMA: They’re moving! And a lot of those animatronics are motion-sensored! Get ready!

Blade quickly takes control, securing Landerson into a sideheadlock, twisting his feet to secure his base, preventing Landerson from using his agility to escape…

Unfortunately, when he shifts his feet, he activates…



KRAMPUS!


TODD: JESUS CHRIST! IT’S KRAMPUS!

BAMA: Calm down, Todd! It’s just an animatronic Krampus shaking an animatronic chi-....wait, I think the kid is real…

The animatronic Krampus snarls, its robotic snakelike tongue whipping about as… no, yeah, that’s just a screaming six-year-old boy…

Blade is startled, losing his grip on Landerson…

Landerson doesn’t waste a minute… AND DROPKICKS Razor into Krampus!

Razor collides face-first into the animatronic and hits the aisle floor! The animatronic topples over… the child hits the ground and runs for freedom!

TODD: …How did he even get up there?

BAMA: Every Krampus animatronic comes with a free child! Great for ambience on your front lawn decoration!

---

Landerson delivers boots and punches to the back of Razor’s skull…

Blade impatiently grasps his opponent and whips him…



Toward an inflatable orange lawn decoration!

TODD: SPIRITS! SPIRITS AND THORNS, THAT SURELY ROOT INTO HELL ITSELF?!?

BAMA: Toddrick, it is made of rubber and helium, show some goddamned spine, boy!

Landerson is shoved toward the thorn… He’s got too much forward momentum to stop himself…

…

Instead, he WALL-RUNS up the thorn!

TODD: Oh my GOD! Landerson is lighter than air if he could pull that off!

…Blade sees Landerson countering and goes to charge after him, aiming to shoulder block him against the inflatable!

But Landerson goes up and over!

Lands on his feet!

And DROPKICKS Blade into the inflatable!

Blade is driven backward!

THE INFLATABLE POPS! And Blade gets blasted across the aisle, getting thrown into the metal stands across him!

TODD: Holy COW! Blade just got detonated on that one!

BAMA: I think Landerson got that one from a particularly good road runner cartoon! It felt like that whole sequence defied the laws of physics!

Blade lies in a crumpled heap as Landerson crawls across the aisle into a cover…

ONE!

TWO!

THR-Razor kicks out!

---

Landerson and Razor throw trade punches amidst a number of cackling skeletons, popping up over gravestones!

Razor gets kicked into a gravestone…

A skeleton pops up!

”BOO!”

Unfazed, Razor UPROOTS the skeleton off its little pop-up engine…

Landerson charges!

AND RAZOR WHACKS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!

TODD: Wow! Absolutely vicious attack by Razor there!

Landerson gets knocked flat onto his back as Blade breathes heavily, before slowly advancing past another gravestone…



”WE’RE CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF!”

Razor double takes at the appearance of ACE SKY!

…

…As an animatronic!

TODD: I’m being handed an index card… *ahem*… Open your Lawn’s Third Eye and get your officially licensed Ace Sky Halloween lawn decoration.

BAMA: Available exclusively at Spirit Halloween!

Ace’s grinning face is superimposed and airbrushed on a wooden plank…

Razor, realizing he just got startled by an Ace Sky product… Grits his teeth…

AND KICKS ITS HEAD OFF!

”R-R-Rock I-i-it and r-r-rockeeeeeeeee…”

TODD: Razor said what would happen if he saw Ace’s face pop up in this match!

BAMA: Razor, c’mon! You break it, you bought it!

---

Both men lie exhausted in the aisle, slowly rising to their feet…

Razor throws a chop!

Landerson throws a boot to the knee!

Razor throws a closed-fist punch!

Landerson fires back with a rib shot!

BAMA: This is a losing fight in the long-run for Landerson… He’s taking shots to the face, while Landerson can’t reach Razor’s chin!

Razor reels back a chop!  And a sickening SMAAAAAAAAAACK echoes through the aren-… er, Spirit Halloween!

Landerson drops to one knee from the power of that chop!

TODD: Oh no! It looks like Razor has the upper hand!

Landerson crawls backwards toward a gravestone decoration, with an animatronic 12 foot old man raising his cane, repeatedly saying “GET OFF MY LAWN”!

TODD: Well, that one’s not scary…

BAMA: It’s not about *him*, Toddrick. It’s about what he represents. One day, you will be old and miserable. Then? You will die.

TODD:… Oh.

Blade measures Landerson against the gravestone!

He leaps, rebounding off the aisle!

DIAMOND BLADE! (Disaster Kick)

…

But Landerson ducks! And Blade ends up garroting his throat on the gravestone!

TODD: And just like that, the tables have turned! Now, Landerson has the upper hand! Can he put this one away?

Landerson turns around, seeing Blade’s throat laying against the gravestone… at the same height as a middle rope… And he sees the animatronic old man’s cane going up and down…

TODD: No way… there’s no way Landerson goes for this!

BAMA: He’s about to Toddrick!

Landerson gives himself the ol’ catholic ‘spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch’… And he sprints!

In mid air, he grabs the old man’s cane!

He spins through the air!

TODD: He’s doing it!

Landerson’s boots fly toward Razor’s skull!

…

But Razor catches his legs!

TODD: Countered!

Blade drags Landerson off the gravestone, guillotining him…

BLADE ROSE! ONTO THE TILE FLOOR!

BAMA: BALLGAME!

Landerson goes limp, his skull against the floor motionless, as Razor floats into hooking the leg!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

WINNER: RAZOR BLADE!

TODD: Phew! What a war! What a tooth-and-nail fight between these two old friends! Landerson used the environment to pull out every stop! But Razor Blade was just too much! And tonight the American Nightmare pulls off the victory!






Backstage…

King Kieran: Ugh… where is he?

The King of the Universe shoves open a door and groans again. A number of his security team do the same down the corridor.

A few screams follow, until finally…

“Hey what the fuck?!”

One of the goons waved the king over.

“He's over here!”

Quickly, Kieran barged past a few other men and barrelled into the doorway. The ‘Captain of the Kingsguard’ Tommy Gunn was not far away.

King Kieran: There you are!

Standing, alone, in the room across from the king, was lone XWF Anarchy Tag Team Champion, Thunder Knuckles. Both belts lay on a chair next to him. Kieran eyed them approvingly.

King Kieran: Double gold means double smarts right?

Thunder Knuckles: …Huh?

King Kieran: I said double the gold–you know what? Never mind. You ready for tonight, champ? Got a partner lined up? I can loan you Tommy? He's getting super good at stuff. Watch this…

Kieran picks up a nearby beer can and hands it to his right hand man.

Tommy takes aim towards a garbage bin across the room.

Both Kieran and TK watch on…

King Kieran: KOBE!

Tommy throws the can!

…And misses.

Thunder Knuckles: …I was still fucking drinking that.

King Kieran: That's okay! Tommy's even better at beer runs. Aren't you, ‘Captain'?

Without questioning, Tommy Gunn trots off to find some beer, leaving King Kieran alone with Thunder Knuckles. (And the scores of armed forces just outside the open door.)

King Kieran: So… War Games…

Thunder Knuckles: Yep…

King Kieran: Bit different this year.

Thunder Knuckles: Yep. Uni Title on the line.

Tommy Gunn really needs to hurry his ass back so this would feel even more like an opening to King of the Hill.

Alas, Kieran was about to break the vibe.

King Kieran: Yours too.

TK paused. His face began to screw itself up.

Thunder Knuckles: The fuck did you just say?

Kieran was confused.

King Kieran: Didn't you hear the order from the Trillionaire Trollops? ALL titles are on the line.

TK was still enraged.

Thunder Knuckles: This is some mother fuckin’, titty fuckin’, bullshit! Who do I have to talk to about this? Where's that little Big Dick guy?

Snatching his titles up, TK storms off just as Tommy Gunn arrives with a couple of beers. TK lifts them both straight from Tommy's hand on the way out.

Tommy Gunn: What happened?

King Kieran: The bastard didn't even KNOW that his titles were on the line too. Between this and Dickie, I'm not sure we're going to have much luck rallying these idiots to change things. Kline with the X-Treme Title is trying to strike out on his own, The Exiles barely even get off their asses to even team with each other except on Pay Per View, and XXXVI isn't even fucking IN War Games. Not sure how that one is going to work.

Tommy Gunn: There's Atara?

Kieran stroked his chin.

King Kieran: Hmm… Atty signed up for Dolly’s union, and then The Corporation held her back from helping out Blizzard against Solomon’s betrayal. Safe to say she's probably against Musk and his fellow hellspawn. But… she's probably not about to rush to my side to go against them either. She’s always had bigger aspirations than she's been able to achieve so far. This War Games title situation could be an interesting opportunity for her…

Tommy Gunn:...Maybe Dolly was right?

Immediately, Kieran looked disgusted.

But for a split second, it looked like he was genuinely considering the possibility.

He shook the thought off as quickly as it had arrived in his head.

King Kieran: I can survive this. I know my draft picks, and I know that they might throw people off. From there, all I've got to do is show up and be me. And then… find another way to fuck these Trillionaires over.

How hard could all that be?

The camera fades out on Tommy Gunn’s face, who doesn't look so sure.

BARNEY GREEN - vs - SUMMER PAGE TRICK or SPOIL: The match takes place in the 'employees only' section of the store! Dozens of warehouse boxes will be set up all around the back of the store, some containing TRICKS that will hurt whoever opens them, and some containing SPOILS which will help! To win the match, you must open the 1 hidden box filled with candy!

As both Barney and Summer glare at each other from opposite ends of the cold, gray, dingy warehouse, the intercom chimed to life above them as a familiar noise filled the room.

DING! DING! DING!

TODD: Bit of an unorthodox way to start the match, but… we’re off!

BAMA: Summer looks like she’s locked in here as we start!

The two are quickly off to the races! Summer lunges in and nails Barney with a quick high knee! It catches Barney right on the chin as he’s forced to stagger back, quickly checking on himself, but Summer won’t give him a chance to breathe as she rises to nail a Hurricanrana!

Barney quickly recovers as Summer lunges towards him, but he quickly pushes Summer aside and nails her with a straight right that manages to create a bit of separation between him.

It’s here that he catches the eye of one of the many presents tonight in this match! Barney pulls the ribbon to the box, hoping for something nice…

TODD: Look at that, Bama! Barney just got a big sack of thumbtacks! You already know he’s gonna try to put those to good use!

BAMA: But it can sure come back to haunt him, too! Hm… could we call that one a trick, or a spoil to start this off?

Barney swings the sack of thumbtacks around like they’re nunchucks, using them to ward off Summer who’s wary of keeping her distance from Barney! She anxiously looks around-

BARNEY PELTS HER WITH THE SACK! SUMMER BACKS AWAY WHILE GOING TO ANOTHER PRESENT!

AND SHE PULLS OUT A BASEBALL BAT!

She twirls the baseball bat in her hand as she comes closer to Barney, who’s still swinging the sack!

TODD: This feels like a twisted game of pinata, Bama…

BAMA: And I don’t think either of these guys wanna find out what’ll happen if they lose, baby!

Lots of feints and swings ensue at each other! Summer and Barney can’t quite seem to get the upper hand on each other… until they swing at the same time!

AND THE BAG EXPLODES! THUMBTACKS GO FLYING EVERYWHERE ACROSS THE ENTIRE WAREHOUSE!

BOTH COMPETITORS’ EYES WIDEN IN SURPRISE! BEFORE SUMMER TAKES ADVANTAGE AND WHACKS BARNEY IN THE GUT WITH THE BAT!

TODD: Maybe you were right with thinking this was a trick after all, Bama! The stakes just ramped up substantially in this match!

BAMA: Gotta think about your well-being now more than ever when any time you fall could be driving you right into those damn spikes!

Another whack of the bat across Barney’s back has him arching back in pain as he staggers away, but Summer won’t let Barney go that easily as she sizes him up- SUPERKICK TO THE JAW!

TODD: A Total Knockout, right there!

BAMA: Barney look like he caught the worst end of that, and he just fell back into a ton of thumbtacks!

Summer sees her opportunity and starts to go on the hunt for more boxes! She rips open the first box she sees, only for a wretched odor to come to her as she outright gags!

She kicks the box off towards Barney, and… crickets come marching out?!

BAMA: This is sick stuff, Todd! Look at those crickets, they’re marching all over Barney now!

TODD: Yeah, but they’re waking him up!

Barney snaps back to attention as he gets up properly, swatting crickets off of him and plucking thumbtacks out as he glares at Summer!

Summer keeps her distance from Barney, but Barney closes the distance and launches several right hands! Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch!

Summer refuses to go down, but Barney responds by taking another present and BASHING Summer right over the head with it!

Summer stumbles over onto all fours, pricking herself on pins and crickets as sausages come raining down now!

BAMA: What the Hell are they even putting in these presents, Todd?

TODD: No idea, but they’re using everything they’ve got right now…

Barney takes one of the sausages and sets it on Summer’s back, before taking the bat from before and BASHING IT right onto Summer! The sausage turns into a smeared sheet of meat as Summer gets laid out!

Now it’s Barney’s turn to have the advantage! He takes a deep breath, looking through the employee’s area again. A good chunk of the presents have been opened, but there’s still some left…

Barney opens a nearby present, but an explosion knocks him back as soon as he opens it! Soot stains his face as he swats wildly in the air, but paper and confetti are flying in the air!

TODD: Look, Bama! That piece has writing on it!

BAMA: Barney can barely see it right about now!

Barney tries to clean his eyes, but the papers are flying about! Just as he clears his vision, he notices the piece with writing on it and goes to grab it!

But Summer is right there! She grabs the writing for herself as she shoots a death glare at Barney! She shoves a sausage right into his mouth before hitting him with a HUGE uppercut to force him to chew on it!

Barney has his mouth stuffed! Summer takes the opportunity with a boot to the gut… AND HOISTS HIM UP FOR THE PILEDRIVER?!

BARNEY’S WEIGHT IS TOO MUCH! SUMMER IS HAVING TO BACKPEDAL WHILE BALANCING BARNEY!

QUEEN’S GAMBIT PILEDRIVER ONTO ANOTHER PRESENT!

TODD: It’s Hot Girl Summer right about now, Bama!

BAMA: Barney just got laid out, baby! Look, somethin’s in that present!

Flashes of colors are apparent within the present! Summer opens it up, only to see a mountain of candy rain down for her! She laughs as she throws the candy up on high, drowning herself in it!

WINNER: SUMMER PAGE!

TODD: Fast and furious match there, Bama, but I’m sure Summer can’t complain about the end result! She took it to Barney and got out of there with a huge win!

BAMA: Don’t get too ahead of yourself yet, baby, ‘cause she’s comin’ to the camera right now!

Summer smugly grins to the lens, proudly holding up the piece of paper for the camera to read.

Whoever holds this piece of paper, is awarded the right to select a match stipulation for 1 (one) XWF Revolution Championship Match. - Signed, Dick Lichter

TODD: Woah! Summer Page is not only going to challenge for the Revolution Championship, but she’s got the chance to pick the match stipulation?

BAMA: She’s gonna be riding high on that momentum, baby! That 36 guy better watch himself soon!

Summer strolls off, keeping the paper close to herself as Anarchy rolls on.



TODD: Before we go to our next match I'm being told we have an important announcement from the back from none other than legendary XWF interviewer Steve Sayors...

The Tron comes to life and shows the Spirit Halloween stock room and the crowd comes to life when that silvered haired Icon is shown on screen.

BAMA: Oh my God.....



TODD: Haha, It's Atty Sayors!

Atara: Hello XWF Universe, it's Steve Sayors here and I'm standing next to none other than The Canadian El Niño, Ayotal Hex with her thoughts on the quality of Spirit Halloween costumes! Ayotal, what do think?

Atty puts the mic up to the woman's lips and right before she speaks brings the mic back to her own.

Atara: Well there you go XWF Universe! For the duration of this show go to the Spirit Halloween website and use the #ICAMEFORATTYNOTKEIRAN and get 50% off your next purchase of $150 bucks or more! Back to you Todd!

Before the Tron shuts off we hear a very managerial voice about, "Atara! This is coming out of your thirty minutes!"




TODD: Folks, it looks like I’m getting word about some commotion happening outside of the store…?

BAMA: Man, is it Atty with the food stand again? I’m almost scared to find out what she’s up to this time, baby…

TODD: No, it’s something else entirely!

The camera comes to outside of the Spirit Halloween as two men stand proud, looking at the store and the rows of screaming fans from afar!

[b]“Argh…” Scoops McGee grunts, adjusting the eye patch on his pirate costume as he drinks in the atmosphere. “I’ve heard, boah… that there be treasure in that there store.”

Joseph Taylor looked like he wanted to be anywhere else right now. He pulled on his own cotton shirt tightly, trying to create some breathing room for himself before a cold gust of wind breezed by. He looked at Scoops, grimacing. “Terry, why is it that I’m here with your cameraman tonight…?”

“‘Cause you volunteered out of the kindness of yer’ heart?”

“...”

“God’s sake, Johnny, it won’t kill ya to lighten up a bit. It’ll be like the old days. In fact, it’ll be even BETTER than the old days!”

“Considering the ‘old days’ was filled with you threatening to kill yourself in the ring on a nightly basis, I would sure hope so.”

“Bah!” Scoops swore, shoving the air as he produced a weathered map from inside of his shirt. “Enough arguin’, boah! I’ve got me the map to gold tonight!”

The pair looked at the map together tonight, Joseph’s face scrunching itself in confusion as he tried to look at Scoops’ handwriting. “What even is this…?”

“Well, it’s simple. Ya get the win here tonight against the rival pirate gang led by King Jackass…” Scoops points at a nearby arrow to across the page, leading to a list of names on the side. Names of War Games participants. “…Ya get some momentum to rally yer’ new crew behind!”

It took more times than Joseph would care to admit to be able to properly read all of these names, but once he did, his eyes widened in surprise. “Terry, are you sure about some of these people?”

“Sure, I’m sure. I ain’t the biggest fan of some of these boahs, but it’s all about uniting under a common goal. We kill the King, we fight over the gold. Ain’t bein’ a Pirate about liberatin’ yerself and throwing off the yolk of tyrants?”

“I guess that’s true…”

“Which is why afterwards, we’re gonna be travellin’ right to the X for some treasure!” Scoops points right at the bottom of the page, where sure enough, a comically sized X was waiting. “And X is gonna mark the spot at War Games! We’ve got the hunt all planned out, boah, so I say it’s time we make good on it.”

Before the two could go inside of the store to get ready, the whooping and hollering of the nearby fans catches their attention. They’re eager to see Scoops, and they’re all cheering for support!

Scoops grins as he puts his map away, instead producing a HUGE bag! He reaches inside, and begins throwing out gold-wrapped chocolate coins to the audience in attendance!

“From me to you people!” Scoops shouts as he throws the coins. “Just a bit of the treasure I’ve collected over the years! This is my treat for Halloween, yeah boahs! Ole’ Kiki’s gonna be gettin’ some tricks tonight, though! First this match, then War Games! It’s time we take some power back for ourselves!”

The fans cheer and chant even harder as Scoops walks towards the entrance to the store, continuing to throw chocolate coins all the while!

TODD: Well, Scoops sure is a man of the people! Can’t deny him that!

BAMA: Big ambitions, that’s for sure, but we gotta see if he can make good on those dreams, baby!

Anarchy rolls on to the next match on the card.







The first to appear is Mr. Oz, looming through the fog with his white cloak dragging across the tiled floor. He walks slowly and deliberately, expression blank, surrounded by an eerie choir track. Behind him shuffles his chosen employee, a thin, nervous man in an oversized Jason Voorhees costume. The mask covers half his face, the fake machete rattles in his trembling hand. Oz pauses before stepping into the “ring area,” a circle of open floor surrounded by racks of Halloween décor, and whispers something that sounds like a prayer. Jason stands beside him, motionless, awaiting orders.

BAMA: Mr. Oz: a dangerous member of The Corporation, and one of Anarchy’s longest-serving stars. He’s won more matches on Thursday nights than most of these newcomers combined! You’d be a dumb dog to sleep on Mr. Oz in this match-up here tonight.

TODD: If there’s one thing I know about Oz, it’s that he can win any match on any night! He’s a giant beast of a man, but his brain? Well, that’s where he really shines!

BAMA: His brain? Are you saying Oz gives good head?

TODD: I’m just saying what I’ve heard, Bama!





The floor begins to vibrate. The rumble of an engine echoes through the aisles. A sudden VROOM VROOM fills the store. The crowd of shoppers and employees cheer as Clutch Cassidy drives a battered muscle car through the loading dock and skids to a halt beside the display of animatronic zombies. The headlights flash across the fog, and the door swings open. Cassidy steps out wearing her denim shorts, white halter top, and black leather jacket. Her sunglasses glint in the light as she grins and yells, “VROOM VROOM!” The audience joins her chant.

From the passenger seat emerges her employee, a middle-aged man dressed in a homemade Larry Tact costume. He wears a bald cap, fake muscles painted on his arms, and a cardboard championship belt. He flexes and bellows, “I AM FUCKING DANGEROUS!” Cassidy bursts into laughter and high-fives him before the two make their way toward the center of the store.

TODD: The team of ‘Clutch Cassidy’ and ‘Larry Tact’ seems to be really taking off!

BAMA: Wait a minute, that’s not the real Larry Tact! That’s just some chump in a cheap Larry Tact costume!

TODD: So cheap, that you can get it exclusively at Spirit Halloween for only 59.99! Talk about coming in Clutch!






Finally, the music changes to “In the Face of Evil” by Magic Sword. The crowd turns as Larry Tact steps through a display of smoke and neon light. His presence fills the room instantly. He pounds his chest, points to the crowd, and yells, “THIS IS YOUR SPOTLIGHT!” His employee follows close behind, encased in a cardboard box shaped like a Prius, complete with paper headlights and a handwritten “Eco-Friendly” sticker on the back. The man waves politely through the open sunroof as Tact shakes his head in disbelief and leads him toward the ring area.

BAMA: Now that’s the REAL Larry Tact….I think!

TODD: And he’s accompanied to the ring by….a prius?

BAMA: That’s not just any Prius, Todd! That’s Clutch Cassidy’s worst nightmare! Larry Tact is playing mind games here tonight- and that’s a #TACTFACT!

LARRY TACT - vs - CLUTCH CASSIDY - vs - MR. OZ MONSTER MASH MAYHEM: Each wrestler will be accompanied to the store by 1 random Spirit Halloween employee, who will be dressed in a costume of their choosing. In order to win, you must ensure that your employee companion is not pinned or submitted by your opponents! If your employee companion is pinned or submitted by either of your opponents, you are eliminated from the match!

The cashier bell rings to start the match.

Tact and Oz immediately collide, two powerhouses crashing into one another like wrecking balls. Their impact rattles the nearby shelf of foam tombstones. Cassidy circles them quickly, ducking under Tact’s arm and landing a quick kick to Oz’s knee. Oz grabs her by the throat and lifts her clean off the ground. Cassidy claws at his hand, struggling for air, before kicking off a nearby mannequin display and spinning out of his grasp. She lands on her feet and dropkicks Oz into a wall of fake gravestones.

BAMA: It’s anyone’s game right now! Back and forth, back and forth! But if any of those useless Spirit Halloween employees would hop in and help their teammate, they could get a definite edge!

TODD: This isn’t a tag match, Bama! You’re not supposed to put your Spirit Halloween friend in danger- you’re supposed to be keeping them safe!

Tact takes the opening, scooping Oz into a running powerslam across a table of Halloween masks. The table explodes into plastic fragments as Oz crashes down. Then Cassidy grabs a nearby jack stand from a car-themed display and swings it toward Tact’s midsection. He catches it in both hands and twists, flinging it aside. She ducks a clothesline and answers with a Nitro Kick, the force sending Tact stumbling backward into a rack of vampire cloaks.

Oz recovers, grabbing both Tact and Cassidy by the hair and knocking their heads together. He roars, hoists them both up, and slams them both through a cardboard coffin display!

BAMA: Mr. Oz is starting to show his dominance now! He’s too big, too strong, and too damn good for Tact and Clutch to handle inside this store!

TODD: And that’s a #CERTIFIEDTACTOID- but remember, Bama- they don’t have to pin Oz to win this match! They just have to pin his friend!

BAMA: Or, they could do what CLUTCH suggested in her vignette: work together to take the big man down!

The Spirit employees flinch as debris flies. Jason Voorhees grips his toy machete tightly. The Prius backs away nervously. The fake Larry Tact shadowboxes in the corner, shouting “I’M FUCKING DANGEROUS- AND THAT’S A #TACTFACT!” into the air.

Oz stalks forward, dragging Cassidy up by her hair. He attempts a delayed vertical suplex, squatting to show his power, but Tact sweeps his legs out from under him with a dragon screw. Oz roars in pain and rolls to the side.

Cassidy climbs a nearby shelf, grabs a tire iron from her belt, and leaps off, cracking Oz in the skull with it. The sound echoes through the store like metal on stone. Oz falls to one knee, glaring through his blood-stained hair.

Tact, meanwhile, lifts a real sledgehammer out from behind a skeleton display.

TODD: Wait a minute, where the hell did Larry find a sledgehammer?!

BAMA: Maybe his Spirit Halloween friend stashed it there for him!

Tact smashes the hammer into Oz’s ribs. The giant staggers. Cassidy charges forward again and hits another Nitro Kick, this time to the chest. Oz drops to both knees.

TODD: Now that Tact and Clutch are working together, Oz is starting to look a lot worse for wear!

BAMA: This went from a triple threat tag match, to a 2-on-1 handicap match! Oz never had a chance! This was rigged from the start!

TODD: Oz may be getting the short end of the stick right now, Bama, but I’d just like to remind everyone that this was NEVER a triple threat tag match! The only way to win is by eliminating your opponents through pinning their companion!

Jason Voorhees, sensing danger, steps in front of Mr. Oz and waves his plastic machete threateningly. Tact tilts his head, unimpressed, and simply grabs the kid by the wrist. He then hits him with “The Humbling” – a Uranage Suplex of Larry Tact’s own design! The Dracula-dressed referee slides into position to make the count.



1!


2!


3!

Larry Tact eliminates Mr. Oz!

Oz’s eyes flash wide with fury. He punches a hole through a foam wall before retreating up the aisle. Jason lies motionless on the floor beside a broken fog machine. The bell rings again, leaving only Tact and Cassidy in the match.


BAMA: Mr. Oz looks pissed off! I’m surprised he’s leaving peacefully!

TODD: Mr. Oz might be angry, Bama: but he’s never one to make a scene! He’s a consummate professional! If he wants vengeance, he’ll get it the proper way!

Cassidy leans on a shelf, breathing heavily. Tact cracks his neck and nods in her direction. They circle each other. Their employee companions cheer from opposite corners. The Prius revs weakly, making “vroom” sounds. Cassidy’s Larry Tact double points across the ring and shouts, “You can’t out-Tact the Tact!”

Cassidy grins and launches herself forward. She tackles Tact into a display of animatronic witches, sending sparks across the floor. Tact powers out and spinebusters her into the fake cauldron display. Green smoke bursts up from the impact.

Cassidy writhes, then swings a kick from the ground, catching Tact behind the knee. He drops slightly, and Clutch climbs a ladder set up for decoration, leaps off, and drives both boots into his chest! Tact crashes to the floor!

BAMA: Clutch Cassidy from off the top of the ladder! I thought she was a car-girl, but apparently, she can go aerial as well!

TODD: Trains, planes, and automobiles: Clutch Cassidy does it all!

BAMA: Wait…she does trains?

The Prius employee waddles forward to check on his boss. Cassidy smirks. She rushes in and nails the Prius with a Burnout, stomping down rapidly while yelling “VROOM! VROOM!” with each blow. The Prius falls flat, cardboard panels flying everywhere as their costume is slowly destroyed, piece-by-piece.

BAMA: Clutch Cassidy is just laying into that Spirit employee right now! What a Karen!

TODD: Well, in her defense Bama: she does need to pin or submit that Prius in order to win this match!

Tact slowly recovers before he drags Clutch away from his Prius, slamming her head into a wall, then locking in a Million Dollar Dream. Cassidy gasps and claws at the air. Her fake Tact partner comes up from behind, punching Larry right in the nutsack while screaming, “I’M FUCKING DANGEROUS!”

TODD: A low-blow from Larry Tact TO Larry Tact!

BAMA: Just when you thought you’ve seen it all! But now, we’ve got Larry Tact playing with his own balls on live TV!

The distraction gives Cassidy the break she needs. She twists free and lands a snap DDT. Tact’s head bounces off the floor. Cassidy traps his arm and pulls back into her Pit Stop submission, but when she notices the referee paying no attention she releases Larry.

And instead, she charges at and tackles the flailing Prius!

The Prius waves both cardboard arms frantically while Clutch locks in her Pit Stop submission! Cassidy shouts “SHIFT!”, and The Prius taps repeatedly on the floor!

Clutch Cassidy eliminates Larry Tact!

WINNER - CLUTCH CASSIDY

Clutch immediately releases the Prius once it taps. Cassidy jumps to her feet in celebration as the referee raises her hand. Then, her new Spirit Halloween friend rushes in and gives her a big hug. Clutch and Fake Larry celebrate their victory all the way back to the green room as Tact slowly recovers from the devastating shot to his gonads.

TODD: What an incredible match we just saw! It had everything! It had Jason Vorhees, it had a Prius, and it even had TWO Larry Tacts!

BAMA: Where else are you going to see TWO Larry Tacts, but on XWF Anarchy?!

TODD: We’ve got even more incredible action coming up next, so stay tuned!









The arena is bathed in a deep red light that brings out the shadows in every nook and cranny as "Deep Set" by Greg Puciato starts to play. Kristoffer Arroyo steps through the entrance way, looking cool and confident behind is bright pink shades. He saunters down to the ring, taking his time and seeming to savor the moment before suddenly exploding into a slide into the ring. He then steps through the ropes onto the ring apron, where he wraps his legs around the middle rope and hangs himself upside down with his arms outstretched like an inverted cross. He smiles for the camera, revealing long sharpened incisors, before sitting up and rolling up and over the top rope and to the canvas. He then proceeds to get to a neutral corner and wait for the contest to begin.



As the opening notes begin, the lights go out, save for a single spotlight on the top of the stage. Betsy comes out, but she’s only a silhouette at this point. Just as the drum strikes it’s second note, Betsy dabs and the lights come back. The song starts from the refrain as Betsy starts dancing down the ramp.

“Sin City’s cold and empty
No one’s around to judge me
I can’t see clearly when your gone-one-one”

Arms out, Betsy begins twirling around wildly, blonde ponytail whipping about with her, as she slaps hands with fans on both sides of the ramp. The chorus hits just as Betsy baseball slides into the ring.

“And I said ooooh, I’m blinded by the lights
I can’t sleep until I feel your touch
And I said ooooh, I’m drowning in the night
Oh, when I’m like this, you’re the one I trust”

As the chorus chimes on, Betsy bounces up and hops up onto every ring corner, pumping her fist and bobing her head in time with the song, getting the fans amped up for the upcoming bout. When she finishes playing up the fans, she starts bouncing in place, preparing mentally for the bout.

TODD: And what a clash we’re about to witness here! The mysterious vampiric newcomer and adherent to the diabolical and quite insane Samael Dyson, versus Betsy Granger, the Impossible Traveler herself, who it would seem has had quite a change in attitude lately.

BAMA: Right Todd, and it’s the change in attitude that Arroyo called out.

TODD: Yeah, he’s not buying it. But maybe Betsy will make him eat those words tonight on the road to rescuing “Bella Swan” from that pole. And no folks, I unfortunately did not stutter.

Indeed, a couple of Spirit Halloween mooks are just putting the finishing touches on mounting “Bella” from a pole affixed to one of the corner turnbuckles. And just like the real Bella, the fake one is showing almost no emotion at all!

KRISTOFFER 'VAMP' ARROYO - vs - BETSY GRANGER BELLA ON A POLE: A Spirit Halloween employee will be dangling down from the ceiling, dressed in an officially licensed Bella Swan costume! Whoever climbs up the ladder and saves Bella will be declared the winner!

At any rate, the bell rings soon after and the match begins with Betsy Granger going hard on the newcomer! Lashing out at him with a series of nasty kicks! Kristoffer seems to take the damage in stride, going up and under the ropes with his top half to force the ref to stop the assault.

In fact, things seem to proceed in a similar fashion for a time, with Betsy building up a head of steam only for Kris to stall things out with an underhanded tactic! The fans start to boo and Betsy is clearing getting even more fired up!

TODD: I’m not sure I quite understand Kris’ tactics here.

BAMA: Oh come on Todd, it’s mind games! Getting in Betsy’s head! He wants her to unleash that darkness for all the world to see!

Betsy continues on the offense until Kris lands a quick precision chop to Betsy’s throat, followed by a running STO that plants her. Kris turns his attention to “Bella” for the first time and starts to climb up the turnbuckle to untie her, but Betsy sneaks up behind and gets under him, sending him crashing to the ring with an electric chair drop.

This putts Granger back in control for a while and she starts in on her opponent with some ground based wrestling, with the dual purpose of trying to calm her rage so she doesn’t get sloppy and to set him up for her finish. She ties Arroyo into a sugar hold, which he breaks, followed by some more strikes to lay him low, and then a sleephold. But Kris is able to fight out of that too and turn the tables on Betsy with a jawbreaker.

With Kris back in the driver’s seat, he decides to get technical too, rushing Betsy down until he can get her in a crossface hold, but Betsy fights for the ropes, but that doesn’t stop Kris drom draggin Betsy away and into an STF, that he maintains for a good amount of time before breaking the hold himself and re-approaching “Bella”. This time, Kris is able to get the tie partially undone before Betsy, from out of nowhere, leaps up onto the turnbuckle and hits Kristoffer with an exploder suplex off the top!

BAMA: That’s what we call a momentum changer, Todd! Did you see that impact?!

Both are down for a time but Betsy rouses first and goes to “Bella”. She now starts to untie her, but the damn thing must be like a gordion knot because Betsy is clearly getting frustrated at its complexity. Meanwhile, Kris slithers up to the corner, and starts beating on Betsy until he can throw her off the turnbuckle. Kris hits a series of savage kicks to Betsy before throwing her into the corner and hitting her with the Teatrro Grottesco series of knee shots. Kris returns to “Bella” once more to work on the knot, and he starts openly tearing into it with his fangs!

TODD: Well, that’s one way to do it.

Betsy, seeing this, knows she can’t let it stand! She flies at Kris, hammering on him until he too falls off the top turnbuckle. After a brief tussle Betsy is able to hit Kris with her trademark move the Galactic Advantage! She goes back to work on “Bella” and the fans pop as they see she’s finally got most of the know undone.

But Kristoffer returns! He climbs up the turnbuckle on the other side of the pole and he and Betsy start trading furious blows until finally….Kris spits blood in Betsy’s eyes!

TODD: Where the hell did he get that from?!

BAMA: It’s kind of in our bodies, Todd.

TODD: I know that! But to just….just spew it like that?!

Kris pushes the blinded Betsy off the turnbuckle and follows her down, picking her up again only to tag her with the ROMEO’S LAMENT, complete with a bloody deep, sensual kiss! Betsy’s head gets drilled into the canvas and Kris wastes no time climbing that turnbuckle again and chewing through the knot until finally….it’s undone!

Winner - Kristoffer 'Vamp' Arroyo'

Kris takes “Bella” (who still has the acting capability of a wet sack) in his arms and leaps down with her, before sauntering over to Betsy and dumping her unceremoniously on top of Betsy as his music hits.

TODD: Well there we have it folks, Kristoffer “Vamp” Arroyo with a huge win over one of the War Games captains!

BAMA: I can only imagine what this does for Betsy’s change in attitude. She’s going to need to right this ship heading into the pay per view.

TODD: OMG Bama! I'm being told we have to interrupt the broadcast once again! There's commotion at the front of the store!

BAMA: I swear to go if it's At....

The Tron comes to life again and the front of the Spirit Halloween is shown. There's a huddled mass at the front door hunched near the floor and single male figure standing with what appears to be a gun in hand.

Man: IVE BEEN IN THIS DAMN STORE FOR FOUR HOURS! ALL I WANTED WAS A K-POP COSTUME FOR MY DAUGHTER! I didn't come for this wrestling bullshit...if I don't get that costume in the next fifteen seconds I swear to God!

Then out of nowhere a yellow and lime green silhouette appears standing on a register.

Atara: Have No Fear Citizens!

In a blur lime and lemon she jumps from the register and tackles the man to the ground and with a rope pulled from no where hogties the guy! After a few moments pops up gun in hand! The crowd cheers!



Todd: It's Ruby! I can't believe it! It's Anarchy legend Ruby!

BAMA: No it's not Todd! It's Atty in a Slutty Ruby Costume..Jesus effin..

Todd: You can't say that Bama! It's Halloween. In Girl World they can dress slutty and you can't say anything! Haha...now back to the action...




TODD: Folks, you better not change that channel, because we’re about to receive a pay-per-view main-event quality match right now! Kieran King versus Scoops McGee, the champion versus one of the most experienced veterans in the game right now!

BAMA: And it’s a rematch from their last match all the way back in February, baby! Better believe both these boys are chompin’ at the bit to get to each other!





The first, frenetic strums of Faith No More's "Gentle Art of Making Enemies" rips through the store as strobes of gold and white cast across the front entrance and crowd. After several moments, and then a few more for good measure, Kieran King eventually saunters through the front door, smugly mugging for the audience. Around him comes his personal security detail, led by Tommy Gunn as Kieran flashes his Universal Championship around his waist.

And everyone at the door right now…

BAMA: Look at ‘em, baby! They’re all dressed like pirates!

TODD: That’s the name of the game for this match, Bama, but I’m surprised he’s got all the security dressed like that too… guess they’re committed to the bit here tonight!

Instead of his usual trademark sprint to the ring, Kieran takes his time walking into the store, drinking in the capitalist environment as gaudy costumes and sales were scattered in between the rows of paying fans as he simply raised an eyebrow at it all. He handed his Universal title off to Tommy Gunn, who handed it off to the referee nearby as he readied himself for a fight.

TODD: Gotta believe it’s all business tonight for Kieran. He has the chance to make a statement ahead of War Games by pinning the man who finished second place in the Captain’s Match during Spooky Savage.

BAMA: Not to mention that he’s got a point to prove here tonight! Scoops may have pinned Kieran in February, but that was only to take the Xtreme title tonight! Kieran still beat Scoops in the tournament, and he’s gonna try to make that 2-0 in official matches against him!

The audience waits with bated breath as they eagerly await Scoops McGee’s arrival…



…



…



There’s nothing.

Kieran scoffs as he soon realizes this. There’s murmurs of confusion within the audience, everyone unsure as to what was going on.

BAMA: Scoops didn’t try and duck this match, did he?

TODD: That doesn’t seem like him, though. Do you think he got attacked by someone?

BAMA: I don’t think that he-

Kieran poses for the crowd, drinking in their boos as he shouts aloud into the store. “Look at this! He KNEW he had no chance against me!”

The boos only grow louder in response.

Suddenly, a familiar voice interjects itself into the store.

“Hit the music, boah!”

From the pirate ship that overlooked the aisles above the store, the distant sound of a boombox came to life.





BAMA: What the- Are we even allowed to play that song?! The copyright lawyers are gonna be on us soon, baby!

TODD: That’s Scoops’ voice, but I don’t see him…

From up on high aboard the pirate ship!

It’s Scoops McGee! It’s his trusted cameraman, Noah Larson! And it’s Scoops’ old tag team partner, Joseph Taylor!

And they’re ALSO dressed as pirates!

And the crowd pops like crazy!

BAMA: Did Scoops bring his friend from the retirement center or something?!

TODD: That’s Scoops’ old partner from the territory days in Second City Wrestling, Bama! That’s Joseph Taylor, and I think we’re seeing the Magnificent Two back together for tonight! But King Kieran doesn’t look too pleased about this!

Kieran scowls at Scoops, shouting at him as the boombox continues to blare music through the store!

Scoops looks at Joseph, who nods back at him. He reaches down with a pocket knife, cutting ropes to unfurl a tarp sign from the pirate ship!


KIERAN KING
IS A BITCH


Kieran’s face flashes with rage as he turns to Tommy Gunn, barking orders at him as he points up at Scoops who’s on high! “Get him down from there!”

The security team is marching forward as Scoops is realizing it’s showtime! He cuts another rope nearby as the officers advance forward, and Scoops takes it into his hands…

SCOOPS SWINGS OFF OF THE PIRATE SHIP!

AND HE PROCEEDS TO LAND ON TOP OF THE OFFICERS TO TAKE THEM OUT WITH A CROSSBODY!

BAMA: Did that man just fly about fifteen feet in the air past 60 years old?!

TODD: That’s sure as Hell one way to try and even the odds! But he’s still got Kieran King to worry about!

Joseph climbs down from the pirate ship on his own end, surveying the scene as Scoops begins to pull himself up!

The bell rings over the loudspeaker!

KIERAN KING © - vs - SCOOPS MCGEE O' CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN: Both wrestlers will be dressed up as PIRATES while they battle across the store in search of a pinfall or submission! That is all!

DING! DING! DING!

TODD: And we’re off to the races to start! Scoops McGee already trying to pull himself right back to his feet after his stunt jump!

BAMA: He better look out though, because Kiki is already right on top of him!

Scoops is doubled over as Kieran King is right in front of him, laying into him with rights and lefts! Scoops grunts as he has to cover up against the assault, quickly shoving Kieran back as he rights himself!

But Kieran responds with a BRUTAL kick! It lands flush against Scoops’ chest, a loud ‘oooh’ coming from the nearby fans as Scoops backs up on impact! Kieran pursues though- ANOTHER roundhouse lands flush on the chest!

Scoops retreats further into the store, but Kieran is still fresh and pursuing him! He lines up one more shot, looking for another roundhouse-!


CAUGHT BY SCOOPS! He pulls Kieran in for a STIFF left hand that would threaten to knock him back, if not for Scoops still having him by the leg! He hoists Kieran up, only to drop him right back down with a shinbreaker!

TODD: Quick thinking by Scoops gets him out of that onslaught by Kieran there.

BAMA: Got a lot more work to do. Kiki’s strategy revolves around his speed and kicks, but it’s all fueled by his pride and rage!

Scoops grabs Kieran by the same leg targeted, looking to try to cinch in the Merry-Go-Round, but before the toe hold can be applied, Kieran is quick to try and bring himself onto his feet! Scoops still has the leg though!

BUT KIERAN JUMPS! ENZUIGIRI RIGHT ON THE CHIN!

Scoops staggers back into a miniature haunted house display, having to lean on the construct for support! Kieran is right there again, but once more, Scoops thinks fast! He yanks a nearby arm off of a skeleton mannequin, before turning right back around to Kieran and clocks him right across the face with that!

The two continue their brawl back and forth along the haunted house set, Scoops managing to use his skeleton arm to good use as Kieran moves fast and hits hard. He manages to even up the weapon playing field himself when he yanks off a skeleton skull instead and kicks it like a soccer ball right into Scoops’ gut!

Scoops doubles over from the impact, allowing Kieran to run forward and launch Scoops with a SHOTGUN DROPKICK!

SCOOPS GOES FLYING AND CRASHES INTO THE HAUNTED HOUSE! THE DISPLAY OPENS UP WITH A HUGE GASH AS HE FALLS!

BAMA: Management ain’t probably gonna be liking the property destruction bill after this show, that’s for damn sure…

TODD: Forget the money, Scoops has to be out of it right now! Kieran King’s making an example out of him as we speak!

Kieran drags Scoops out of the display by the ankle and goes for the cover!

ONE!







TWO!







KICKOUT!

Kieran frowns as he gets up, but he says nothing. He takes a minute, wiping the sweat out of his eyes as he takes a minute to collect himself… BEFORE YANKING OUT A DISPLAY TOMBSTONE AND CRACKING SCOOPS ACROSS THE SKULL AS HE GETS UP!

TODD: Kieran’s willing to destroy the entire store if it means he can keep Scoops down!

BAMA: The longer Scoops stays in this, the worse he’s making it for himself!

Scoops is on all fours, crawling to get away and create some breathing room between himself and Kieran! Kieran grits his teeth, looking to close the distance as the old-timer keeps moving! It’s a game of cat and mouse that brings them into the aisles, but Kieran picks Scoops up from behind…

ONLY FOR SCOOPS TO GO BEHIND! HE’S GOT A WHIP FROM AN INDIANA JONES COSTUME NEARBY! AND HE WRAPS IT TIGHT AROUND KIERAN’S NECK AS HE SQUEEZES THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!

SHOCK AND PANIC IS ON KIERAN’S FACE AS HE CLAWS AWAY AT THE WHIP! HE’S TURNING A BRIGHT CHERRY RED AS HE’S TRYING TO SCRAMBLE AWAY TO NO AVAIL! SCOOPS THROWS HIM INTO THE NEARBY SHELVES OF THE AISLE TO BRING HIM AWAY!

BAMA: Look at this, Toddy! Scoops is trying to kill the man!

TODD: Scoops is trying to bring as much of a fight as he can, and Kieran is having some trouble getting out of this predicament!

KIERAN IS BEGINNING TO HUNCH OVER! THE RED ON HIS FACE IS TURNING TO A DARK SHADE OF PURPLE! HIS KNEES ARE BUCKLING!

BUT TOMMY GUNN ATTACKS SCOOPS FROM BEHIND! A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE BRINGS THE VETERAN DOWN AS HE LAYS IN SOME STOMPS TO KEEP HIM DOWN!

TODD: That’s Kieran King’s security detail getting back into this! What are they trying to pull here?!

BAMA: Like it or not, it’s no-DQ in this match! They’re trying to make sure he doesn’t die out there!

Tommy Gunn is quickly stopped by a FASTBALL PITCH SOCKING HIM RIGHT IN THE SKULL!

From across the store, it’s Joseph Taylor, yanking some equipment from the sports costumes! He’s continuing to pelt Tommy with hard throws as a gash is apparent on his forehead from the baseball!

TODD: Looks like Joseph’s trying to even the odds!

BAMA: Yeah, but there’s a lot more of the guards than there are of him!

More guards are swarming Joseph as he quickly goes on the move, pelting the lot of them with more thrown balls! Tommy tries to advance towards Joseph, but Scoops pulls him around and drops him with a headbutt that has Tommy taken out of the aisles!

Scoops scowls, looking for Kieran, but-


CLANG!


BOOTS CLASH AGAINST STEEL AS SCOOPS LOOKS OFF TO THE SIDE!

THE AISLE IS TUMBLING DOWN RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM! IT PRACTICALLY CRUSHES HIM!

AND THE NEXT AISLE FALLS AS WELL FROM THE IMPACT! AND THE NEXT! AND THE NEXT!

BAMA: What the Hell is happening, baby?!

TODD: We need an instant replay from the camera angle on high thanks to Noah!

The footage rewinds, only to show that Kieran King toppled the entire set of aisles with a Shotgun Dropkick!

TODD: An insane level of strength there! How the Hell did he even do that?!

BAMA: Maybe these aisles ain’t the sturdiest, baby, but that might have also been sheer rage talking for him!

Scoops crawls out from underneath the wreckage, haggard and weary, but Kieran King is right there!

He picks Scoops up!

AND IMMEDIATELY JUMPS OFF OF ONE OF THE FALLEN AISLES WITH HIM IN HIS GRASP FOR AN AVALANCHE BRAINBUSTER!

TODD: Kieran King just said ‘F Ur Head’ to Scoops!

BAMA: You think an old timer like that can really afford to take any more concussions than he already has?! ‘Cause landing his skull on steel is a great way to do just that!

TODD: I don’t think Kieran cares either way, Bama!

Kieran hooks the leg one more time!

ONE!











TWO!












KICKOUT!

BAMA: How did he not have it?!

TODD: Your guess is as good as mine, Bama…

Kieran swears aloud as he gets back up, hands on his hips, pacing around as he scowls at Scoops who’s trying to get back up to his feet. Kieran lunges, bringing Scoops right back down with a running boot to the face.

Once he collects himself, he picks Scoops up

COUNTER SMALL PACKAGE BY SCOOPS!

ONE!















TWO!















KICKOUT!

TODD: SCOOPS SUMMONING THE WILL TO LIVE HERE!

BAMA: And Kiki don’t look too happy about it!

Kieran lunges right towards Scoops, but Scoops clocks him with another headbutt! He reaches forward, grabbing Kieran by the wrist- CATTLE PROD! THE FOREARM CLOBBERS KIERAN ON THE JAW AS HIS EYES GLAZE OVER!

SCOOPS PULLS HIM IN ONE MORE TIME FOR A SECOND CATTLE PROD! THIS ONE LAYS HIM OUT!

SCOOPS STUMBLES BACK AND FALLS ON HIS ASS AS HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH! HE KNOWS HE’S GONNA HAVE TO PULL OUT THE WIN SOMEHOW!

HE WALKS OVER NEARBY TO A SERIES OF SALES TABLES AND SWEEPS EVERYTHING OFF!

BAMA: I don’t even know if I wanna think about what Scoops is thinking here…

TODD: Knowing him, it’s gotta be something big to put Kieran away…

SCOOPS DRAGS THE SALES TABLES ACROSS THE STORE! HE STOPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF KIERAN BEFORE HE PICKS HIM UP!

HEADBUTT!

HEADBUTT!

HEADBUTT!

HEADBUTT!

HEADBUTT!

KIERAN FALLS LIMP AS SCOOPS PLACES HIM RIGHT ONTO THE TABLES! AND SCOOPS RIGHT UP TO THE OTHER SET OF AISLES HANGING HIGH IN THE STORE!

TODD: Oh no.


BAMA: Oh Hell no! Kieran’s gotta wake up and get outta there, fast!

But before Scoops can try to get up to the pirate ship, he’s seeing Joseph Taylor getting overwhelmed by multiple security guards wailing on him and wearing him down!

Scoops swears loudly as he grabs a nearby Captain America shield and goes charging in!

The shield takes down one of the guards as Scoops throws it at him! He picks it right back up and clobbers another one right in the skull! Scoops grabs a third and throws him right beside the fan spectating area as they have to move out of the way! Scoops grabs a fourth and throws him right out of the glass store windows! The pack is beginning to thin out!

TODD: Scoops is a house on fire right now! The Magnificent Two are taking out Kieran’s guards at a steady rate!

BAMA: Yeah, but it’s more time Scoops is wasting!

Scoops quickly checks on Joseph, before he gets back to moving towards Kieran! He scales the nearest upright shelves, moving across towards Kieran as he lines up his mark!

ONLY TO SEE KIERAN ISN’T THERE!

TODD: Scoops took too long!

BAMA: Can’t keep your eyes off the champ for that long!/blue]

Kieran is alive and at the bottom of the shelves! He slams into the shelving unit once- twice- three times! The shelves rattle as Scoops precariously wobbles on top!

KIERAN HITS IT WITH ANOTHER DROPKICK AS THE UNSTABLE SHELVING UNIT TOPPLES!

AND SCOOPS FALLS THROUGH THE SERIES OF NEARBY TABLES!

[blue]TODD: DID HE JUST DIE?!

BAMA: Kiki just killed the man!

Kieran grins as he exhaustedly brings himself over, collapsing over Scoops for the pin!

ONE!



















TWO!

















THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WINNER: KIERAN KING!

TODD: Scoops brought his A-game, but despite all the chaos and carnage these two put each other through, it wasn’t enough to topple the champ!

BAMA: Yeah, but Kiki’s lookin’ stronger than ever before War Games! You better believe he’s gonna try to put that #1 pick to good use here ahead of the event!

Kieran rips his title out of the referee’s hands as he holds it on high in front of the referees! Tommy Gunn quickly comes to check on his boss, who throws an exhausted arm around him as the two walk out of the store!

Noah climbs down from the pirate ship and Joseph drags himself across the store, the two of them checking on the unconscious Scoops as doctors begin to check on his condition.

TODD: That was a match from Hell tonight, alright. You’ve gotta wonder what condition Scoops is gonna be in before his TV title match on Warfare! What about War Games?!

BAMA: To Kieran, that’s just one less competitor who could go for his title if Scoops really is down for the count!

Anarchy fades to commercial as the show rolls on.






Big Dick Lichter’s office looks like a dollar-store haunted mansion. Plastic bats hang crookedly from the ceiling. Fake cobwebs cover the bookshelves. A fog machine hums and spits at random. On his desk sits a golden nameplate that reads Big Dick Lichter – General Manager of Anarchy. Next to it, a bowl of candy and a stack of spreadsheets labeled “Revenue Growth.”

Lichter lounges in his leather chair, one leg crossed over the other, wearing a bright orange tie and a smug grin. His phone is wedged between his shoulder and ear as he sorts through a pile of Halloween-themed paperwork.

“What do you mean Thunder Knuckles can’t find a partner?”

He lets out an exaggerated sigh, leaning back.

“Oh, he’s running late? Cry me a river. This isn’t daycare. This is Anarchy, baby. My Anarchy. The first Halloween show under Big Dick management, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t run smooth.”

He grabs a fun-size Milky Way and unwraps it mid-rant.

“You tell Thunder Knuckles that the show starts when I say it starts. Not when his buddy strolls in. No delays. No excuses. If he can’t find a partner, that’s his problem. Let him fight alone. Maybe he’ll finally prove he’s as good as he says he is.”

He chews the candy and smirks, waving his hand at the “Assistant GM” skeleton in the corner.

“You see, this is the difference between me and every GM that’s come before. They’d bend over backward to accommodate people. Not me. I’m results-driven. I don’t babysit, I build success. You’re looking at the man who brought Anarchy back into the blue. Ticket sales up. Merch sales up. Viewership up. Ratings climbing faster than Thunder Knuckles’ blood pressure right now.”

He laughs, leaning forward and slapping the desk.

“I told the board I’d turn this thing around, and guess what? I did. In one month. One! When Big Dick Lichter takes charge, things get bigger. Better. Harder. Stronger. That’s called leadership.”

He listens for a moment, pretending to take the call seriously again, then cuts them off.

“No, I said no delays. The show goes on. Cue his damn music. If his partner isn’t there, then maybe he’ll learn to show up early next time.”

He ends the call and tosses his phone onto the desk, picking up another candy bar.

“I swear, this roster’s allergic to professionalism. Lucky for them, Big Dick’s here to inject a little discipline. The show goes on with or without you. And thanks to me, Anarchy isn’t just surviving. It’s thriving. It’s back in the blue, baby!”

He takes a bite, chews thoughtfully, and nods to himself.

“Big Dick saves the day again. Happy Halloween to me!”

He leans back in the chair as the fog machine sputters louder, filling the office in smoke while the candy wrapper crinkles in his hand.




TODD: Folks, we’re onto our main event! And this one has so much at stake!

BAMA: Absolutely, Todd! XXXVI pulled off the upset of the century at Relentless when he beat Thunder Knuckles for the Revolution title. TK responded by defending his other belt, the Anarchy Tags, basically single-handed my, with only Jimmy in his corner…

TODD: And tonight, XXXVI has laid a challenge, planning to take TK’s other Thursday night title, the Anarchy Tags! With the mysterious Director in his corner… will XXXVI make his record 2-0 against TK? Or do TK and his mystery partner have a mystery truck up their sleeves against their mysterious opponents!

BAMA: It’s already a crazy match, Toddrick! And we haven’t even mentioned the Glass Ceiling stipulation! Someone might be going off the roof tonight!



The roof of the Spirit Halloween alights in red. Smoke gathers around the rooftop. Gods by Sleep Token plays as XXXVI appears, rising up out of the red lights amidst the smoke, his hands gathered in prayer. He steps out onto the rooftop and takes in the mixed reaction from the crowd. He shakes his out his head and shoulders and begins to walk toward the ring, hands still in prayer pose. Then from behind him, appears CIX… and THE DIRECTOR!

XXXVI leads the way toward the ring as his valet and the Director flank him!

TODD: Here he is, the mystery man holding the Revolution Title… XXXVI! XXXVI has been on a hot streak ever since Relentless! He absolutely thrashed Hixx at Spooky Savage! But the monkey on his back is… was beating Thunder Knuckles a fluke? Can he do it again?!?

BAMA: The momentum is in XXXVI’s favor Toddrick. But it only takes ONE mistake for a future Legend and Former Universal champ like Thunder Knuckles to pick up the win!

TODD: That’s the key question! What has TK changed between now and Relenltess to adapt his game? What has XXXVI prepared to counteract it? And what role will their partners play?[/white]

Half way down, XXXVI spreads his hands apart and reaches out both arms in T-Pose as he crouches, sauntering down the rest of the ramp toward the ring. He climbs onto the apron, outstretches his arms and then enters, rolling backward over the top rope and spins toward the center of the ring, arms outstretched like a helicopter. He then sits, cross legged in the dead center of the ring, hands once again in prayer pose and bows his head. Full black again, then a single, red cone of light bathes him in the ring as fire explodes out of each turnbuckle. Outside the ring, CIX surveys the crowd as they await the match starting. The Director stands in the corner, remaining very, very mysterious…

…



Twenty pint-sized midgets line the route from the roof entry to the ring, each gripping a pair of sparklers like tiny torches, holding them high in tribute to the man who is about to come to the ring. The lights turn off and the only light is sparks of the sparklers.

Through the the billowing smoke emanating from the rooftop entrance steps Thunder Knuckles, both Anarchy Tag Titles slung over his shoulders, shining under the sparks like stolen treasures. His smirk isn’t just arrogant, it’s insulting. He bobs his head to the beat, not because he’s feeling the music, but because he knows he is the music.

The crowd boos, so he slows down just to make them wait, sauntering past the midgets. He doesn’t even glance at them. Why would he? They’re here for him.

[blue]TODD: So much gusto! So much flare in everything Thunder Knuckles does! …But, where’s his partner? Wasn’t he supposed to have a mystery partner?

BAMA: I’m receiving word that TK is going it alone tonight! He’s the Anarchy Tag Team Champions alone, he doesn’t need anyone else to defend them!

TODD: Oh my! I admire his heart, but that puts him at a significant disadvantage in this stipulation! TK is going to have pin BOTH XXXVI AND the Director to defend his belts!

BAMA: Or throw them off the roof!

TODD: They each only have to pin TK to win!

BAMA: Or throw him off the roof! TK’s got so much moxie, he don’t need brains. But he signed himself up for a fucking uphill climb tonight!

Sliding into the ring, he springs to his feet in one smooth move, back turned to the camera on purpose, because he knows the shot is better without seeing his face. He raises his right fist high, not as a salute, but as a statement to everyone in the back.

And then it happens, like a final insult, counterfeit XBUX rain from the rafters, every one of them plastered with his smug grin. The crowd tears into each other for the fake money while TK stands perfectly still, basking in the madness that he’s caused.

THUNDER KNUCKLES© & ??? - vs - XXXVI © & THE DIRECTOR GLASS CEILING TAG MATCH: A wrestling ring will be set up on the roof of the store. Surrounding the ring, will be nothing but GLASS SHARDS- all across the roof! The only way to win is by pinning BOTH members of the other team inside the ring...or, you can simply YEET them off the roof to eliminate them!

HIGHLIGHT REEL

The moment the bell rings and TK charges headlong at XXXVI, slamming into XXXVI with a Lou Thesz Press, raining down stiff shots!

TODD: Oh my! I think TK is in the mood to even the score tonight!

BAMA: He gotta watch himself tho, Toddy baby! If he comes out in a burst of offense, that wiley XXXVI might rope-a-dope him!

Even with TK mounting the mysterious Revolution champion, XXXVI manages to raise his guard, blocking the brunt of TK’s wild flurry of offensive punches…

On the apron, The Director snaps his fingers… CIX pulls out a… tall thin suitcase?

She clicks it open… revealing…

A WHIP!

TODD: Oh my! Is he gonna whip TK?

BAMA: Odds are looking good on that bet, Toddrick!

TK continues fiendishly trying to crack through XXXVI with wild mounted pun-

KERACK! The Director cracks his whip on the apron — CRACK! — the sound splits the night.

…TK looks upward, so laser-focused on the Revolution champion, he wasn’t even aware the Director had a whip!

And the moment TK takes his eyes of XXXVI, XXXVI drops his guard and shifts into offense! He wraps his arms around the back of TK’s neck!

Judo throw! TK goes ass over teakettle into the apron…

TK tries to lock in with another charging Lou Thesz press!

…But this time, XXXVI is ready!

SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX!

TK’s back bouncing against the mat with a thud! XXXVI looks laser-focused as the Director applauds his ‘partner’ from the apron!

TODD: TK came in with a plan… but I think that plan included locking horns with XXXVI one-on-one! He’s gonna have to adapt his game plan to account for the Director!

---

TODD: XXXVI is looking to end this one in record time!

BAMA: You ain’t lying, Toddrick! After a dominating show of offense, XXXVI is trying to bully-ball TK off the roof!

TK gets tossed through the ropes and lands on his knees outside… he slowly pulls himself up, as XXXVI runs to the opposite ropes, hits them, building speed!

BASEBALL SLIDE! TK eats XXXVI’s boots on the chin, stumbling backward!

INTO A PILE OF BROKEN GLASS! TK’s face contorts with pain!

[blue]BAMA: Thunder Knuckles gotta do something something quick or lightning’s gonna strike twice for Mister XXXVI!

TK pulls himself out of the glass… just as XXXVI hits him with a basement dropkick to the face! Sprawling backward again! And now he’s sprawled toward the edge of the roof!

The crowd holds its breath as TK teeters!

He even slips on a bit of glass!

…

BUT HE REMAINS UPRIGHT!

TODD: TK surviving… But for how long!

XXXVI runs in for the kill, looking for a spinning heel k-

NO! TK shoulder tackles him mid-run, sending him tumbling back toward the ring!

[blue]BAMA: XXXVI trying to bully-ball the ultimate bully! And now TK’s in the driver’s seat!

---

TODD: TK’s gotten XXXVI back in the ring and he’s looking to score his first elimination of the night…

As XXXVI slowly… dizzily… rises to his feet near his corner… the Director watches this sequence intently… he barks something at CIX…

TK snags XXXVI by the leg, looking for a…

THUNDERSTRIKE! (LEG DDT)

…But when he does, the Director reaches over the ropes to grab XXXVI’s arm… and CIX reaches up to grab the Director’s arm! Their support keeps XXXVI upright and TK flops to the mat!


Where XXXVI doesn’t waste a second! LEG DROP across the throat!

TODD: This one’s supposed to be two-on-one! It’s feeling like three-on-one!

BAMA: How many times has TK used the numbers game to his advantage, Toddrick! Turnabout is fairplay!

XXXVI holds the leg guillotined across TK’s leg!

ONE!

TWO!

NO! TK forces the shoulder up!

---

TODD: XXXVI has been physically brutalizing TK! Something’s gotta give her!

TK’s breath heaves from the mat as XXXVI peers down, like a kid with a scalpel trying to figure out the most horrifying way to dissect a frog.

KERACK! Suddenly, the Director snaps his whip and holds out his hand…

TODD: Oh c’mon! The Director only wants in this match now that TK is whipped!

BAMA: I don’t think he’s whipped yet, Todd! But he will be when the Director’s done with him!

XXXVI tags in the Director…

The Director steps through the ropes… with his whip… and snaps his whip around TK’s arm — holding him in place!

XXXVI sprints up the corner, flips backward, and…

CORKSCREW KICK! Right into TK’s jaw!

…TK goes to drop… But the Director’s whip holds him upright…

With the whip still wrapped tight around TK’s arm, The Director pulls TK forward…  KNEE LIFT straight to the jaw…

And TK drops!

TODD: That’s gotta be it…

The Director tosses aside his whip and hooks the leg…

ONE!

TWO

THREEEEEEEE-NO! SOMEHOW TK GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

TODD: How?!? HOW!!!!

The crowd pops for TK’s fighting spirit as the Director… moves back to the corner and tags in XXXVI, telling him to finish the job already…

---

XXXVI grabs TK by the back of the neck, looking for Third Eye Blind! (Romero Special)

…

BUT TK snapmares XXXVI over his head!

TODD: TK’s been slammed into glass, whipped… but he ain’t done yet!

XXXVI spins around, trying to hop back on the offensi-

SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! TK spears XXXVI in the center of the ring!

The Director snaps at CIX, demanding she get his whip… she retrieves it from where he dropped it earlier…

TK grabs XXXVI by the scruff of the neck, and latches his hands around leg…

CIX gives the Director his whip and he steps through the ropes again…

TK’s looking for the…

THUNDERSTR-

KERACK! WHIP across the back!

BAMA: WHIP IT! WHIP IT GOOD!

TK grabs at his back agonized…

The Director WHIPS HIM AGAIN! And TK goes up and over the top rope to the outside!

TODD: What the hell’s even going on here! The Director’s not the legal man!

BAMA: I need to check my rulebook, but I don’t think you need to be the legal man when you’re throwing someone off the roof!

---

TK is slowly but surely whipped toward the edge of the roof by the Director’s cruel strikes… XXXVI has rolled under the bottom rope to follow the action!

TK’s feet stand on the precipice of the roof…

TODD: Oh god, I can’t look…
The Director reels back his whip for the finishing blow…

KERACK!

…

BUT TK catches it!

TODD: oh my God! Did TK rope-a-dope… er… whip-a-dope… the Director into getting closer to the edge?

BAMA: Ain’t no way to tank those whip strikes! TK felt every one of them! Like I said, more moxie than brains!

TK, covered in whip marks, snarls with a smile… Even in his mask, the Director’s body language oozes fear…

TK tugs him in, grabbing his leg!

TODD: OH MY GOD! TK’s gonna Thunderstrike the Director off the roof!

TK goes for the…

THUNDERSTR-

WHAM! XXXVI hits TK square in the schnozz with the spinning heel kick!

BAMA: The numbers game from Mister roman numbers himself!

XXXVI pulls the Director away from the ledge…

As TK…

Topples over the side!

AND LANDS ON A CAR!

TODD: He’s fallen off the roof! TK is off the roof!

WINNER AND NEW ANARCHY TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS: XXXVI AND THE DIRECTOR!

TODD: I can’t believe it! Twice! Two back-to-back times, XXXVI has bested Thunder Knuckles!

BAMA: Sometimes, a guy just has your number! If TK wants too? He’ll bounce back… but the history books will read, TK, double champion of Anarchy, lost BOTH his belts in SEPARATE matches… to XXXVI!

TODD: And the Director! This changes the whole landscape of the tag division! What will happen from here?!?

HUGE THANKS TO ALL OF OUR MATCHWRITERS LIAM DESMOND x2 PETER PRINCIPLE x2 CHARLIE NICKLES “VAMP” ARROYO & OUR WONDERFUL SEGMENT WRITERS SCOOPS MCGEE KIERAN KING THUNDER KNUCKLES “BIG” DICK LICHTER ATARA RAVEN & Thanks to everyone who RPed!

[/b][/b]