Episode:
"Good Luck Jason"

You know when you are just falling asleep and your body jerks? I’m sure there is a word for it and a reason that it happens but in these dreams, this vivid land of dreams I experience. That jerk wakes me up inside the dream.

“Where?” I blurt out as the sleepy daze in my eyes adjusts to the scene. I was sitting behind the wheel of a car I did not recognize. No doubt a rental as I often used those.. Strangely enough, I recognized the area outside the car. “What am I doing here?” I questioned my own dream setup.

You can't always control where the dream takes you and more times than not, it's not to a place you want to go. Not for me anyway. Nightmares were more common than anything pleasant happening when I could sleep deep enough to explore these things. My eyes slowly move towards an apartment, one that I had spent many nights in. One where I shared a life with a wife, however briefly it may have been.

I wasn't sure why I was here but as I stared at the front door and desperately wanted to see the person I knew still lived there, I started to beg a higher power if one was listening, begging them to just let me get a glimpse of her. “It's a dream, right?” I asked because it wouldn't be the first time I woke up and had found myself in a new location from where I closed my eyes. Pinching myself, I didn't feel any pain. Sure enough, I was asleep. Had to be. “I could always just go knock..”

Shaking my head, that wasn't going to happen. I knew I was in a Hotel room in Colorado. I remembered that I had a bit much to drink and took a few things I probably shouldn't have mixed with the alcohol. I had a lot of sorrow to bury, to hide away as best as I could and I’m sure my twitter would say otherwise. I'm kind of a wreck right now and I don't want anyone to know.

“I can't knock..” I confirmed the obvious with myself. Part of me felt like a failure and another part of me wanted to do right by her. “What if..” I punch the wheel with the palm of my hands. “I’m leaving, fuck this!” Reaching down for the keys hanging from the ignition. I start the car and her front door opens.

“Shit..” Trying to stay quiet as if she might hear me. I duck low but I was certain the cover of the night would hide me amongst the shadows. The street lights shined down but not enough to brighten my hidden location. Just seeing her.. I was locked in and felt a warmth I tried to ignore. “My Shine be shining..” I failed to stop my voice from escaping my mouth.

Stepping out onto the porch, she twirls around as a man steps out of the apartment. I had no idea who it was, I didn't recognize him. Immediately I had a sense of hatred for him. Is that jealousy, Jason? Stop talking to yourself, fool! This is my dream thank you! I can talk to myself all the fuck I want!!

Shaking the bickering of my mind off. I watched as her smile blossomed at the sight of this guy. He pulled her into him and they kissed. I wanted to be mad, I felt plenty hurt but what grew was comfort. Seeing her happy? Seeing her prance in his presence? I wanted that just a month into being her Husband. I felt that for a while and now it was being felt for someone else.

I heard her voice as if it came from the backseat. “Do you love me?”

Jumping, flinching, I turn and find nothing behind me. It was her voice because in that voice, I could feel the pain of her question. ”How could I not? You rescued me..” I answered but knew I was too late. I hadn't said it before when she asked. I let it become a dreaded silence. I let it end. I walked away because it kept her safe.. Because it opened the door for me to go handle my ‘Fan’ without any concern over who I would be leaving behind if I failed. Yet I ended up failing her..

Failing to allow myself the pleasure of being happy or in love or being that for her. I did love her, I do still.. It's hard to know that woman and not end up that way. She had an uncanny ability to make your soul smile.

“Good for her..”

I meant it mostly. I was happy for her and her Father had no worries about her keeping that smile. It was very much written across her face with an exclamation mark. Putting the gear into Drive, I pull away from the curb across the street. I should have picked up speed but I couldn't keep my eyes off of them so I didn't notice the car almost come to a complete stop. I wouldn't have noticed if her and her friend didn't turn and look directly at me!

“Shit!”

I slam my foot onto the gas pedal and peel down the street as she jogs to the street. I saw her in the rearview but I didn't want her to see me.. Damn allergies.

“... I can't say I’m surprised..”

“Holy fuck!!” I swerved, the car shot to the right. I.. We almost crashed.

My Fan.

“You're dead!” I shouted.

“... Not in your dreams, Jason..”

Leaned up, he was between the driver and passenger seats. The bags under his eyes were a shade of black and purple indicating his death. I didn't need the acknowledgement, I knew he was, I killed him.. If the police ask, he was an intruder though.

“What do you want, Danny?” I let the reality of it being a dream lessen the concern of him being in the car with me.

“... Just wanted to say.. Hello..”

He roars up from the backseat, revealing a big ass, Michael Myer's approved butcher knife and plunges it into my chest. I gasp feeling the blade slide into my body.

.
..
…

“Aaaaaghhhh!”

Falling off of a couch, I hit the floor. Scrambling to my feet, I felt a downpour of sweat traveling from my face and along my body as I looked around half expecting to see him. I was awake.. In my hotel in Colorado.