Jenny felt the wind rush through her hair as she catapulted towards the earth at a frightening speed. She felt free in that moment. Like it was her decision, finally. Like she had broken chains of some sort. There had been many people who asked, pleaded even, for her not to jump.

She didn't jump, she stepped, she thought with a giggle.

As free as she felt hurtling towards the earth like a comet in deep space, she had some internal conflict too. Why was the only question that came to mind. Why did she make this choice? Why did she come back to XWF? Why did she start wrestling at all? Why does she care so much?



Catastrophe. Nothing else could define her thud on the ground. A fatal landing enough to shut down the reels of life. Colourful to dark and nothingness, the fall was a snapshot.

"OOOH, a crepe spot!"

This would be it, surely. A choice she made on her own. A decision she was pushed to, but in the end, a choice she made.

She thought about a lot as she fell. She thought about how great the business was--or she thought it was--back in 2016. The lights, the glory, the headlines. Even the travel. The hotels, the road trips and the stories. The laughs, the tears, the little table with the even little-er girl selling girl scout cookies outside Wal-Mart somewhere in Arkansas. She had forgotten to pack tampons and had to run and get some before the show. Why not have a cookie? A box would be nice. Periods and chocolate--anyway. They didn't have the flavor she wanted----she remembered flipping the table over. Cookies went everywhere. She felt terrible for that poor girl. If she had the chance she would apologize to her and help her pick up the cookies.

How long had she been falling for anyway? SURELY this should be ended by now?

A quick google search in her hotel last night--by the way French internet is WAY faster than American internet...get your shit together Spectrum--

From 400 feet high, it would take about 5 seconds to hit the ground.

From 110 feet, the fall-to-destination would be about 3 seconds.

The arc was 176 feet...........

That would mean.......

Why was she trying to do math?

All of the good memories that flooded through her were replaced by horror and regret. There was so much left to do!

She felt something slam into her back. Fear jolted through him as his legs hit the safety ledge and she pitched forward. Heart leaping, she tried to bend around to grip anything. She only managed to flip herself around as air whistled in her ears and the ground rushed up. The grooves in the concrete and the curb became flash vivid in her view, as one question flicked through her brain. Why?

The muted screams of various people sails past her ears.

Maybe this was symbolic? As successful as she was, she was on a downward trend.



Even Rome fell.


She had been on the rise and this was the consequence. It was inevitable. But so soon! Why so soon!

Silence. 

---

"So what was it like?" 

"It was the best moment of my life, and my career." 

The voice on the other line had pain in it. It was raspy. There was something else there, too. Excitement, angst, nostalgia.....regret?

"Do you remember it? How do you feel about it now, all these years later?"

"It was a gift and a curse. I won that belt far too early. I wasn't ready. I was having sex before I had hair on my balls, if that makes sense. I was in the deep end but only a beginner swimmer."

She couldn't believe her ears. The most arrogant man on the planet was showing human emotions for the first time since she had known him. 

"But you, you have earned this. You have been through the trenches. You have taken the brand we built all those years ago and blasted off to astronomical proportions. You have taken it much further than I could have. You took this and you made it your own." 

She wanted to blush but tried to suppress it. 

"If I could do back and do it all again, I wouldn't have won that belt when I did. I wouldn't have made some of the decisions I did, associated with some of the people I did, said some of the things I said. If I could go back now I would have done it the way you have. Built it up, battled everyone with a pulse, and gotten myself better. My issue, I thought I was better than I was. You? You have proven you're exactly as good as you say you are."

She wanted to blush again, and this time couldn't control it. 

"Eight years, Jen. Eight years you have been the embodiment of perfection here. It hasn't always went your way but when I look at it now, I would rather have your career.....I would rather have the titles you have had then the one I did. I didn't earn it, I got lucky........You're far beyond luck. You have surpassed every peak I could have ever dreamed of even reaching. This is your night, but dont make the same mistake I did. Don't take it for granted. The entire world is against you here....use that."

"So what should I do exactly?"

There was a pause on the other line........before the raspy, tired, suddenly stone cold voice answered. 

"Fuck them. Win."

---

“I really don’t know how to feel. I thought I did. My emotions have been a seesaw over the past half year. Part of me wanted to drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness, saying that I have seen the error of my ways. Part of me wanted to tell all of you how much you have meant to me during my time here, part of me wanted to do the patented Reno rage quit, part of me just wanted to break down and cry, to be honest. I have never known any other place than this for almost a decade until recently. As refreshing as it is to face some new competition and kick down new doors, change is scary. I mean just ask Dionysus. Changing into being a halfway decent wrestler was too much to handle. Poor guy. For real though, this is hard for me.

For years I have been trying to break the toxic sludge that has encased me in a cocoon of ‘almost’. I am one of the most decorated champions who hasn’t thrown up a finger and left this place in the rearview. I am one of the top all time here, even if they will never give me that recognition. I guess I can take solace in that.

I can’t help but feeling empty inside, though. I can’t help but feel incomplete. I can’t help but feel like a Dolly Waters title reign, disjointed and disappointed. There is something missing for me, and I am confident that I will never rest until I fill that gap. I will never fully feel whole. You can throw all the TV Titles and X-titles you have at me, throw them until your arm is tired, and I will gladly hold them, rock them, and make them relevant. But it wont make ME feel complete. There is ONE title that I have never held and haven’t been within a football field distance of since Obama was still in office.

The Universal Title.

Even the name gives me goosebumps.

Since I am on the honesty tour, I may as well keep the bus rolling along. The XWF is boring. I am bored. I can come out here, cut a promo and shred someone, and step into the ring and give ANYONE on this roster the fight of their life. Yes, anyone. But it is the same thing over and over again, and our Universal Title has been as bland as drywall. Mark Flynn was good, very good, but he lost his fucking mind towards the end. Raion Kido is the dictionary definition of printer paper. Does Sidney Grey even count? And now Corey is the mild sauce we are forced to put on our tacos.

What about a little chaos at the top? A little disorder? A little….fun.

This is far from a campaign speech. It’s different from venting. It’s just me telling you all how I feel. Bobby seems to think that I expect to just be handed things wrapped in some fancy glitter paper. If that was the case, I would have been gone years ago. I knew from day one that I would have to earn every inch of ground, especially being associated with the name CHAOS, and it has been perpetual trench warfare since day one. If I expected things to be handed to me I would have been gone after the 10th screw job. Here I am after a number too high for Neil deGrasse Tyson to count to. The harshest thing you had to say about me was my involvement in the conspiracy to make this place fun again. Yes, Sarah approached me. Yes, I accepted Sarah is fun and creative. Raion Kido is a tired anime schtick that lasted far too long. I did it for the betterment of the fed, but none of you seem to see it that way.

Fuck it, I’ll stay the villain just like Bobby will stay the same overbearing douche who only tries when there is something on the line for him.

Wait, isn’t that what he accused me of?

(If you’ve done your homework like I assigned, you’d be over the appropriate BAC to operate a motor vehicle.)

If I didn’t feel weird enough, all Isaih did was compliment me. I mean, that’s flattering and all, but kinda defeats the purpose of this whole little back and forth, yeah? I am sorry Mr. King, but the Queen will always be better on the mic, in the ring, and at life than you. The only thing you were wrong about in your praise of me was that I screw off after every “undeserved” loss. Again, as I previously mentioned, if that were the case I would have been gone before you could blink an eye. Nice job at a shot, but like most of your insults (and match results), you fell just a bit short.

Ned had some kind words, too. Thanks Ned. If you weren’t so off base in your accusations I would actually applaud you. Instead, you get a golf clap, and a half-assed one. I HAVE SPENT THE LAST FIVE YEARS TRYING TO BREAK AWAY FROM THE CHAOS LIKENESS YOU HALF-WIT MOTHERFUC—-”

Deep breaths.

“Sorry. It just annoys me that NOBODY has a creative insult anymore. They just keep recycling the same tired nonsense like the soundtrack in a grocery store until something gets stuck in our head for long enough to believe it. Ned is taking the same shots as everyone else, and just like everyone else, he is missing the target. You can talk about my weird moments all you want, but one thing you conveniently never mentioned was how I held this company down, carried it on my back like a goddamn koala, while you sat around doing fuckall. Where was Ned Kaye to step up and challenge me for my X-Title? Instead I was stuck with Goth, King, Goth, King again, throw in Xavier Lux and Maddy, then insert Goth again. If you’re such a hero NED, I ask you, where is your cape? You love to yell from the shadows, but not get down and dirty. You’re the one who will yell “HOLD ON, I AM GETTING YOU HELP!” from the side of the cruise ship to someone overboard, but completely overlook the fact that the rescue rings sit two feet in front of your dumb fucking face and—--god I hate you. You’re such a shameless suckass. Throw insults at me when you do the EXACT SAME—you know what…..not worth it.”

Deep breaths again.

“Dolly didn’t even bother to show up. If this meant a fraction as much to Dolly as it does to me, she would have at least popped in and said hi. That’s always been her issue. She is everyone’s favorite darling, but could give a fuck less about the advancement of this company. She’ll work her ass off to beat a mid-carder on Warfare but arguably the biggest match of her career and not a fucking peep from the peanut gallery. I have given my blood, sweat and tears for this place. I have had to seek out therapy for this place. I have had to change my identity, delete my social media accounts, and publicly declare the fragile state of my mental health for this place. You can’t even be bothered to try when you have the entire place eating out of your palm and all you need to do is sneeze to get promo of the month…………..you’re a fucking embarrassment. I expected better. Silly me.

So, I guess with all of that being said, I better get back on topic. This could very well be my last match here. My heart just can’t take any more. I love this place and I will always love this place, but sometimes, when you love something, you need to let it go. The only thing left for me is to hoist that title over my head and tell you all that I told you so. That is the only thing that will keep me here. I realize that I need to earn it, I need to win this match, but there is no guarantee that will happen. In fact, there is a good chance I won’t. You can never predict these type of matches–too many moving parts.

So if this is it, I want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me and thank you even louder to those who hated me. That hate is what drove me to keep trying to prove you all wrong. If this is my last match it’s been real. I will always have a place in my heart for XWF, even if they have cast me aside long ago.

If I win this match, and I put a cap on my legacy, well then I guess I’ll see you guys around—and I’ll be 20 pounds heavier.”

"Mademoiselle Myst..."

Jenny pushed her hand away, groaning.

"Mademoiselle Myst...Réveillez-vous!"

"English please" Jenny muttered.

"Wake up."

"Go away."

"Mademoiselle Myst......you must wake up." Her accent was thick, and it made Jenny shoot her eyes open. She was in Paris.

"You have promo to do, scheduled in 20 minutes, and it is all the way across the city!"

"How did I get here?!" She asked the clearly annoyed front desk attendant. "I was standing on top of the big square thingy and I could see your pointy tower in the distance! Then, I stepped off and I was falling towards the ground at breakneck speed and landed on a crepe machine and---"

The woman was not impressed, and she took her hands off her hips with a sigh.

"Mademoiselle, you fell asleep in the hotel lobby."

Jenny jumped up, fixing herself.

"I have a crepe to finish!"