That No Good BITCH!

Charlie slammed his front door shut in a heated rage. The force took his children by surprise, causing them both to jump back in fright. Emily and Tyler were originally happy to be back with their father, but now, a look of absolute terror is seeping onto their faces.

How the hell could she just run off like that? Without saying another fucking word to me, or to anyone for that matter! After all we did for her! After I tenderly caressed her with thousands and thousands of kind words! That ungrateful bitch wouldn’t be anything without us: and now she just wants to leave us all over again?!

The Nickleman threw his hands up in frustration as he turned his attention to his school-aged children, who were now beginning to cower against the moldy wall in Charlie’s living room. Charlie paced back and forth in front of them, swinging his arms around every which way to accentuate his anger.

Who the fuck does that dumb whore think she is?! Just dropping off all this baggage at my doorstep and acting like it’s my fucking problem?! We’re in this together, you stupid cunt!

The Nickleman lashes out wildly, pointing an accusatory finger out of his living room window as his ex-wife and her new loverboy ride off into the distance. Tyler bunches up close to his older sister, Emily, as the pair watch their father leerily. They know all too well what their father’s blind rages can lead to.

If I had a nickel for everytime this stupid fucking trick walked out on our family I’d have two Nichols- which isn’t a lot, but it sure would be nice to have a fucking wife again! Does she think we’re all going to just wait here patiently, twiddling our thumbs and singing her praises until she returns?

FUCK THAT!

She left, and now she’s buried in the dustbin of history! Who cares about what she used to be? When this ungrateful harlot skipped town for the second time, she gave all that up.

Now, kids, it looks like we only have each other to count on.

The Nickleman turns back to his kids with a twisted smile and a slight froth dripping down from his lower lip.

A quitter is a quitter, sometimes a homewrecker can come from inside the house, and a No Good Fucking Bitch will always be a No Good Fucking Bitch! She’s nothing special….no one was ever going to wait around for her: LET ALONE ME, THE MIGHTY FUCKING NICKLEMAN!

I don’t wait for no one! I don’t even wait my turn to use the bathroom….that’s why my competition is always getting SHITTED ON!

While that dumb whore spent the last few years getting railed “off camera”, I’ve spent the last few years compiling more wins in the XWF THAN ANYONE-FUCKING-ELSE! I have more wins since August 2020 than anyone, and you can even call Mark fucking Flynn to fact check me! Fucking do it, I love when that weasel has to say ‘CHARLIE’S RIGHT’!

Flynn will probably choke on his words, just like he did against Bobby muhfukkin’ Bourbon for a month straight.

And soon enough, this petty whore will choke on every word she ever said about me….soon e-fucking-nough….

Charlie, still buzzing hard off the drugs he took earlier, has completely forgotten that his kids are in the room. The school-aged children are cowering behind a ripped up leather couch while Emily plugs Tyler’s ears, because he’s far too young to be hearing this filth. Emily, however, has no one to plug her ears for her. She’s shaking in place, totally stricken with fear: trying her best to stay silent, lest she draw the attention of The Nickleman.

Does she think I’m the kind of man who’ll just stand around and take disrespect? Is that what my legacy says to her? She must be dumber than she fucking looks. I used to have a list of enemies as long and wide as I am…..until I scrawled all their names out in blood….so much blood…..

The Nickleman places a hand on his head as he furrows his brow. The memories of battles past seem to leave him torn, caught in a storm, completely ripped asunder and worn. Charlie shakes the painful memories of his transgressions away as he walks in a bumbling line towards his filthy kitchen. Emily and Tyler peek over the couch carefully as their patriarch leaves the room.

Does she really think I’ll let her star outshine mine, forevermore? She’s lucky I never sought out vengeance after our first bad romance. But now that she wants to drag my heart and soul through the mud all over again? There will be no second chances, no space for forgiveness, and not a damn shred of mercy.

Our Relentless love flamed out years ago….now the only thing left between us is Warfare!

And the battle has only *just* begun….

Charlie lumbers into the kitchen with a dangerous smile on his face and a cruel gleam to his eye. He steps over the filth and trash scattered across the floor, making a beeline right towards the cabinets. He opens a wooden drawer before reaching into it with bad intentions. That sick smile stays transfixed to his face as he pulls out a pair of handcuffs, a roll of duct tape, and a pair of rusty meat hooks.

They always say the truth cuts deep, right?

But does the truth cut deeper than my Devil Hooks?

The truth that she’s just a used up and worn out CUNT that should never have come back!

She’s nothing special, not anymore...now, she’s just like every other Kim Kardashian wannabe. She has no substance, she does everything the cheap and easy way…..she’ll never be like me. She’ll never fight, hustle, and grind the way that I have….she’s never had to…and now, she’ll never even get the chance!

Charlie cackles to himself before tucking his tools into his waistband and walking back to the living room- but not before getting himself a cold 40 oz bottle from the fridge. Armed with booze in hand and evil in mind, The Nickleman now heads to the front door to turn his dreams into reality. He doesn’t even see those shaking children cowering in his periphery.

I’m literally going to kill her when I find her!

Just as Charlie is about to open the door and walk out, his children jump out from behind the couch- clearly terrified. Emily calls out to her crazed father with tears streaming down her soft cheeks. He looks over in confusion, as if he’s somehow surprised to see his children here!

Dad, what are you talking about?! Who are you talking about?! You’re scaring us! What’s happening….mom said we were just going on vacation with you for a bit!

The Nickleman pauses with his hand still on the doorknob. The 40 oz bottle slips out of his grasp and crashes to the hardwood floor, shattering upon impact. Spilled booze and shards of glass begin to pool around Charlie’s leather clad feet before a deafening silence spreads through the room. Tyler and Emily stare up at their father in horrified disbelief, completely taken aback by this all too predictable turn of events.

Well, um….

The Nickleman sighs as he reluctantly lets go of the doorknob. Strands of Charlie’s greasy hair fall over his face as he stares down at the ground in anguish. He slowly tilts his head up, looking at his children through his own matted locks. He shakes his head from side to side, not sure just what to say…..

I guess I just…let the anger overtake me…I’m try- I’m try-....he sighs....what’s the point?

Charlie turns his back onto the front door as he slides down to a seated position. He seats on a fallen throne of glass and booze, staring up at his own children as the tears swell in his eyes.

Were you just talking about killing our mom?!?!

No, no! OF COURSE NOT!

The Nickleman shot up like a bolt, dashing towards his children in the corner. They screamed and put their hands up, but it was no use: because The Nickleman meant them no harm. Charlie slid to a kneeling position in front of them as his tears started falling.

No, never!

Then who were you talking about! All that mean stuff you said was really, really scary!

Thankfully Charlie’s a quick thinker, and an even quicker liar. But what exactly *is* a lie? Well, you be the judge of that.

I was just practicing for my big match! I was just…practicing my promo for Sarah Lacklan! And I’m sorry for using all those bad words in front of you…I….I….I was so worked up in my ‘acting’ that I forgot you were here….

Tyler crosses his arms in disappointment.

You always forget about us!

Not anymore, I’m changing! Soon! I promise, I’m really trying!

Tyler and Emily turn towards Charlie hesitantly, still suspicious.

But what about all those evil things you said…all that stuff you said sounded really specific to mom…and like you really meant like you were about to go out an-

No no no! It’s just a new thing they’re teaching us to do in the XWF called ‘acting’! I was just ‘acting’ like I used to be in love with Sarah Lacklan, but now I really want to beat her up and make her cry! So I was just…practicing my lines! Everything I said was only about Sarah Lacklan, and definitely not your whore mo-,]/nick]The Nickleman hesitates, then bites his tongue[nick] I mean, your wonderful mother!

Charlie lays a gentle hand on their shoulders as he fights back his tears. Every member of the Nichols brood has a stream of tears dripping down their face, but none more than The Nickleman himself. Emily, the eldest child, is the only one willing to investigate further: because the quizzical mind of a 4th grader never stops asking ‘why’! 

But…

Charlie sighs softly and closes his eyes as he grips his children’s shoulders tightly. The Nickleman clearly regrets exposing the children to his drug-laced ranting and raving, but what can a man possibly do when the world gives him such impossible battles? Or at least, that’s what Charlie is asking himself….his daughter, however, has a lot more pressing questions!

But why did you talk about leaving a family if you’re talking about work?

Charlie opens his eyes and stares into his daughter’s innocent eyes before he lets his silver tongue slither out of her trap.

Because Sarah's a quitter and a flake. She doesn’t stick around through the tough times and stay committed to the XWF’s fans, like I have ever since my debut. Lacklan’s like Dolly Waters, but worse…and no one ever even calls her on it, because she’s hardly ever around to be called out! And whenever she is called out, she just plays cold fish and closes her eyes: like she did in her sex tape with Kenzi!

Her what?

Oh you’re too young for it now, Tyler, but maybe in a couple months I’ll show ya…whenever you get chest hair, buddy, you just let me know!

Tyler cracked a smile as his dad rubbed his hair, messing it up all cutelike. Emily, however, still seems perturbed by the toxic vile she just witnessed.

But why wouldn’t you just say normal wrestling things?

Charlie looks back to Emily before nodding his head in agreement.

You know Ems’? You’re right….I don’t need all that nasty stuff to make my point. I could clean it up a little bit, and just say something like:

‘How’s the girl who lost to Lord Raab still got the nerve to raise her nose up at anyone?’

Charlie tosses a hopeful smile over to Emily, who begrudgingly catches it, slowly turning her frown upside down. The scene fades to black as Charlie and his children all embrace for a big family hug.