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**07-12-2013, 08:15 PM**

Sebastian Duke's Funeral

We left off with John Madison and Shane

in the Mojave Desert trying to bury Sebastian Duke alive... again.

Luca Arzegotti had digged the hole for which John Madison would dump the casket containing Duke.

Shane

and John Madison were just about to push the casket into the grave when a police officer by the name of Geter Pilmour pulled up.

We return to where we left off now with John Madison ready to speak to Officer Pilmour.

John Madison ignores Shane

's advice and decides to strike up a conversation with Officer Geter Pilmour. For the most part, this guy seems harmless. He's just another trooper doing his job, protecting the good people of Nevada. He does, however, seem to have his hand resting comfortable on the butt of his pistol. John Madison takes notice of this and has both of his hands ready to draw his pepper spray and Glock, just in case. Madison might not be fast enough to reach all the way behind himself to draw the pistol, but he'll be able to swipe the pepper spray out of his side pocket and blind Geter with it before Geter can pop off a round.

"Hi," Johnny says while trying to hide the faint laughter in his voice. "What seems to be the problem, Officer Geter?"

Geter puts on his ultra-cool sunglasses which protect his sexy blue eyes from the sunlight. Or perhaps he put them on to protect Shane

from exploding in his pants.

"Whats the fuck are you fags doing out here? Are you two having gay sex in that hearse or something? FAAAGS!"

At that very moment, Luca Arzegotti steps out of the hearse with his shirt off and his belt unbuckled. Luca was only trying to cool off after having to dig the six foot hole, but naturally Geter gets the wrong impression.

"What in the fuck is that?" exclaims Officer Pilmour as he lowers his shades to get a good look at half-naked Luca Arzegotti. Geter seems to be threatened by the sight of a half naked man and pulls his pistol halfway out of his hip holster.

"Relax," Luca tells a very nervous Geter Pilmour. "I just need to take a piss."

"Alright, lucky for you, I'm not detecting any possible homosexual activity going on here," says Geter with full confidence in every word that comes out of his mouth. "But I digress, what was in the casket?"

John Madison and Shane

speak at the same time, both trying to come up with some kind of answer but obviously not on the same page. They trip over each other's words until John Madison finally blurts something out.

"My cat."

"Your cat?" Geter asks as he scratches his head, perhaps thinking back to the size of the casket that he saw. The fact that the casket is enormous makes Shane

think that John Madison just screwed them. But Peter doesn't seem to care. "Huh... I'm sorry about your loss, sir."

"Yeah, I just wanted to give my cat... Sebastian... a proper burial. I had him for such a short amount of time, but I still feel a close bond with him. It was so sad; the day of his death. I found him on the side of the road all beat up so I smashed his skull in with a shovel."

Officer Pilmour flinches with a look of disgust as Madison describes the death of this "cat" in great, gory detail.

"That sounds xtreeeemely terrible, but I digress, I'll leave you boys to your burial. Just make sure you fill in the hole all the way. We don't want any, uhh, traffic accidents out here... in the desert..."

"Yes sir," John says while giving Geter a crisp salute.

Geter Pilmour speaks into his whisper mic to the command center.

"This is Officer Pilmour, everything seems to be in order here. Just a bunch of fags... But I digress, I'm leaving the scene. All clear."

Geter Pilmour waves goodbye as Shane

looks relieved to have dodged that bullet.

"Thank you, Officer."

While Shane

managed to dodge the bullet, the same cannot be said for Officer Geter Pilmour. For whatever reason, John Madison's excitement goes through the roof as he whips out his Glock and fires a bullet directly into the face of Geter Pilmour!

John Madison doesn't stop there. He pulls out his canister of pepper spray and sprays Officer Pilmour on his way down to hitting the dirt. Why you would pepper spray a guy who's just been shot in the face is beyond me...

Shane

just looks on, shocked, almost as if he's seeing everything go down in slow motion. Shane looks up at John Madison who's bursting out with laughter like a madman. Shane finally loses it.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?! He was leaving!"

The forcefulness in Shane's voice somehow whips John into reality as he drops the Glock and sticks his hands above his head. Shane

doesn't know what else to do other than punch John Madison in the stomach as hard as he can. The punch from

causes Madison to fall down on his hands and knees, coughing. Shane

continues to question John's motive.

"Why, John? Why?!"

After John Madison recovers from the punch, he tries to explain himself to

.

"Come on, Shane. 'Geter Pilmour?' really? Who's he trying to fool? That man was Peter Gilmour, and Peter Gilmour is an undercover cop posing as a professional wrestler!"

Shane doesn't believe a word coming out of John's mouth.

"Why would Peter Gilmour be working undercover?"

"Seriously, Shane? You've pulled a lot of crazy shit since last year. If I recall correctly, you've pulled a hit and run on two men, and had numerous individuals decapitated! Not to mention all the prostitutes you had me kidnap to pose as Flo Feder. Why else would Peter Gilmour stick around for so long? He sucks, so he has to be undercover."

"John, the decapitations were all YOUR idea! Kidnapping women and naming them Flo was YOUR idea!"

"Shane, how dare you! We performed decapitations TOGETHER as a family! We kidnapped all of them Flos TOGETHER. Those were bonding moments for us."

At that moment, we can tell by the expression on Shane's face that he feels bad now. What John is saying is true, all those things that they did together made them who they are today.

"Alright," Shane says as he goes to give John a hug. "Fine. But that man is not Peter Gilmour, and Gilmour is not a secret agent."

"You're right, Shane. I lied. This guy just happens to be like Peter Gilmour in every single way imaginable."

Shane

is already making texts as John Madison lifts the money and weapons from the officer.

"Let's just bury these fuckers," Shane says while texting for help on his phone. "I've got a guy who will cover for us. Let's just hurry."

With that, John Madison gets the attention of Luca Arzegotti as he begins to drag the corpse of Officer Pilmour.

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