Of all the silly and quirky things that had become mainstream, Galentine’s Day was by far Angelica’s favorite. The tradition consisted of getting all your gal pals together on the evening before Valentine’s, and giving each other thoughtful gifts.

Also, it was a way for Angelica to deal with the crushing loneliness of a single woman’s life. Because why face your problems when you can run away from them, right? Now, Angie was perfectly happy to be a Single Pringle, but when she saw her friends and family have happy, meaningful relationships she did often feel like the odd one out. As if she was the only one who was undesirable. It had been the source of a lot of angst in the past, undoubtedly a direct consequence of the incessant verbal abuse suffered during her childhood, but Angelica had found a way to deal with it. Step One had been to surround herself with a lot of cats. But Galentine’s Day was also a big part of it.

”My friends! It’s Galentine’s Day, and you all know what that means!”

The group was seated around a big table. Angelica had rented the sports bar near the San Antonio Community College. They had only just managed to clean up from last night’s Superbowl party and had not been expecting a huge crowd anyway, so the owners of Knockout were all too happy with the business. Unfortunately, some of Angelica’s more… colorful friends had been unable to make it. Sarah would “rather be stripped naked and chased through the streets being flogged by a pack of gangrenous hobos” than be caught dead at her sister’s ‘local water hole’. Kenzi didn’t “do that white shit”, and Roxy had simply assumed Angelica had been joking when handed the invitation and had put down the phone.

Thankfully, all of Angelica’s Kappa Alpha Tau sorority sisters were present. Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita, Monica, Mary (not her mother, another Mary) and Jessica, whose ages ranged from 20 to 59 and was a mix of failed College students, soccer moms, bored housewives and ambitious career women, raised their glasses. Filled to the brim with red wine, they had to take great care not to spill it on the stack of gifts they all had piled up in front of them.

”Galentine’s Day is where we… axly, first of all, you don’t need to keep your glasses raised, gals, go ahead and drink up! I know myself, I might be going on another long-winded tangent here.”

A huge sigh of relief almost blew Angie off her socks, as the KATs started pouring the booze down their throats.

”Cheers, as they say in United Britain! N-E-Ways, where was I? Oh, yes!

Galentine’s Day is the day where we celebrate our gal pals. Where we shower them with love and gifts, and make sure we all know how adored we are by our lovely lady friends. I think it’s important to have days like these, so we can try and tear ourselves away from an often toxic cesspool and focus on the good things in life. Lately, I’ve seen a lot of stuff that saddens me. People cyberbullying others, trying to fight hate with hate. Heroes being toppled and retired through the backhanded actions of cowards. REALLY must tell Meemaw Sid to rein Gina in… I guess I’m saying that displays of love, or affection, or friendship, don’t always come spontaneously, and that’s a shame. That’s why it’s good to try and ‘enforce’ them every once in a while. So, ladies, a toast! To all of you, for being my pals throughout this whole College thing. For what it’s worth, I’m glad I turned down all the other College offers and chose to tough it out at the SACC. Most of us will graduate in about a year and a half, but I hope we’ve made some friends for life!”

*HEAR HEAR!!*

Glasses were emptied, and refilled. Pamela, the oldest of the KATs, got up from her seat and handed Angelica her gift.

“Here you go, Angie! Thanks for being there for us, and for showing us that no matter how old we are, or how lowly we think of ourselves, it’s never too late for a fresh start!”

”Awww!”

They exchanged a hug, and Angelica opened up her gift. Fabric rolled out of the wrapping paper as she held it up.

”It’s a kitty onesie! Ow Em Gee, that is the CUTEST!”

“I hope you like it, it wasn’t easy finding one in your size!”

Many more gifts were exchanged from that point forward. Angelica received a litter tray subscription, a signed 4K Blu-Ray of the Netflix series Cat People, the iam8bit Exclusive Edition of the PS5 game Stray, a Blu-Ray of Studio Ghibli’s The Cat Returns with an exclusive poster, a packet of catnip seeds, a vinyl record with the soundtrack of The Aristocats, and a Funko Pop of Goose The Cat (which she just HAD to show to Kenzi!). Angelica, herself, had given boxed versions of Chess 2: Knights of the Nine Lives to everyone, as well as a handwritten friendship note and abox of highbrow chocolates and macaroons.

Angelica was over the moon with her gifts, although it occurred to her that there had been a certain… theme to them. Whereas the others received gifts more suited to a family or something also to be used by husband or wife, (Sandra had given everybody but Angie a steam rice cooker) Angelica’s gifts were more suited for a single crazy cat lady. She didn’t mind, but it did tell her something about the way she was being perceived. And while she was also perceived as a mighty wrestler who could lock horns with the world’s most dangerous and live to tell the tale, she was ultimately regarded as a future spinster.

That was fine.

Angelica put her gifts to the side and raised her Appletini.

”My gal pals, thankies ever so much for your lovely prezzies! And as we head into the next two weeks, I would like to propose another toast.”

“Uh oh,” Angela said, “you’re going to talk about your wrestling thing again, aren’t you?”

”Obvs!”

“Are you going to take long?” Pamela asked, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

”Umm, go ahead I guess!”

“I’ll come with!” Sandra said immediately, a bit too eager for Angelica’s liking.

”Do you guys not want to hear my speech??”

“It’s errr… the wine!” Rita exclaimed, while downing her glass and refilling it with the bottle next to her.

”Whatevz! Look, a TOAST! To Ned Kaye.”

There was some groaning and some booing amongst the KATs, but Angelica shushed them.

”Hey now, hey now! Ned is a pretty nice guy, AXLY. In my opinion, and experience, if you don’t have a heart for cats, you can’t possibly have a heart for people either. And I think in recent weeks, it has become crystal clear that Ned cares about his kitty, even though it’s being taken care of by Noah Jackson. Now, I canNOT underSTAND why Ned, or was it Noah, decided to name their kitty after the informant of the Watergate scandal, because I don’t think you should politicize cat names, but that’s just my personal opinion, obvs.”

“Actually, Angie, I think th-“

”N-E-WAYS!!

This isn’t the first time Ned and I have tangled. We faced off before, when he was the Chameleon, and I still have Karma as a beloved pet to this day from back then. Beating The Chameleon back then was probably my proudest achievement in the XWF at the time. Which should tell you one thing: he is a force to be reckoned with. And I’m not going to forget that, even if Ned’s still beating himself up, literally, about his loss to Chris Page at Snow Job. He dispatched Buster Gloves, no scrub, in the first round of March Madness, and he did it with a lot of class. As a competitor and a human being, I respect that.

So even though Ned is clearly going through stuff, it seems like he’s working it out. He seems to be in a better headspace than during his Chameleon days, and if the rumors are to be believed, love is in the air, even! It takes courage to commit, Ned, and you’ve shown it. Trust me, I know it’s easier said than done to just take a leap and dive into an adventure while binding yourself to another person. So I’m glad that at least one of us, on the day before Valentine, has found love. Even if you found it in a hopeless place.”

A bit of an awkward silence fell, as the KAT members looked at each other, not really knowing how to react to that. Some shuffled uncomfortably on their seats, others emptied their wine glass for the umptieth time, and others twiddled their thumbs. Angelica noticed, and sighed.

”Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer. Honestly, it’s fine. I always say: try and be happy for others, even if they’re better off than yourself. Unfortunately for Ned, I’m going to have to BE a downer for him. I’m going to have to knock him off his perch, put a dent in his rising stock, play spoiler for him as he tries to regain the relevancy he seems to crave.

And craving relevancy is fine, don’t get me wrong. If you don’t want to be successful in this business, you’re in the wrong one. Success is the cornerstone of our legacy, because through success everything else comes much easier. And sometimes, success can even mean that you did your best and never gave up.

But that’s not enough for me. Not now. Not anymore. I’ve said it a thousand times, I’ve grown tired of being compared to my sister, much as I adorbz her and love being tag champ with her. And while I would’ve loved to face her in the final, it’s simply not meant to be.

BUT! This gives me a unique opportunity. March Madness can be my defining moment in the XWF. Winning tag team championships is amazeballz, but if I win this tournament it’d be a top five career achievement, without a shadow of a doubt. It’s why I signed up for it in the first place. Not to pad out the brackets, like I said last week. But to WIN! Against whoever is put in front of me. Be it Sarah or Sidney, be it Raion Kido, Dolly Waters, Buster Gloves, Dionysus or YOU, Ned! I am here to win, and won’t be happy with anything else. So I hope you’ll do me the courtesy of respecting me for who *I* am, like I’ve tried to do. I hope you won’t fall into the same lazy take trap that has made others look like fools, because I’d like to believe you’re better than that. You and I both hold family in high regard, so please don’t be a hypocrite by saying I shouldn’t be supportive, or be supported by mine.

I’m sure you won’t do any of those things, Ned. After all, BINGO was a game I already played weeks ago. I much prefer Cat Chess these days. A game you’re always welcome to play with me, by the dubs! In fact, we should have a game right now, everyone!”

“I am waaaaay to drunk for that!” Mary objected, putting her head cheek-first on the cold table.

”Oh, err.. Okies, enn vee emm then! Then I guess we’ll have a few more drinks, celebrate friends and family, and talk about how I’m totes going to beat Ned! And then you can all tell me what plans you have for Valentine’s!”

“It’s the MAN’s job to make plans for Valentine’s, Angie!” Rita said, slamming the table with her fist. “And he better not forget like last year! Or I’ll bojangle his danglies!”

”Hmm. Much to learn, I still have.”