The Genesis of Goth 

Chapter Eight: Dreams…/b]

It’s november 21st 1976, the day that the man that we all know now as Goth was born. A normal child from a loving family, who had everything that his heart desired. Everything? Well he had everything that a child needed, except for the obvious always craving for more kind of desire.Raised to have respect for your elders, always speak when spoken to etcetera etcetera. And yet, where did things go wrong??? A question often asked afterwards from those from outside who look in, those who judge and yet never produce a proper solution. But instead of everything philosophical, it’s better to dive deeper into the subject at hand.

May 5th 1992

it’s the first day that the now still fifteen year old Gerrit came in contact with the wrong people, being lured with golden promises of earning a quick buck by doing something that had no consequences. What fifteen year old boy wouldn’t want to do something to help his poor mother out after his fathers passing? Just delivering a package at the hand given address. What could go wrong?

[b]“You know what to do right???”

Says the 18 year old kid, a gang member that had been watching Gerrit for a while before trying to lure him with fancy talks about one day riding his own bike when he is his age, something that has always been a dream for him. Ever since he and his father had gone to a rally of old motorcycles he had fallen in love with them, especially the classic Harleys. The sound that they produced and having felt the massive vibrations was all that he ever needed to be hooked. But he had known that he had to work hard for ever achieving a dream like that as his family was very poor, but it didn’t stop him from dreaming.

“Yup, I told you already. I am going to take the bus, get out at the final bus stop and wait for…..”

He looks on the piece of paper, a crooked piece of paper that had some information written on it including the name of the man he had to deliver it to. He had not been able to fully pronounce it as it was Greek and he had never heard or seen names like that. He attempts to pronounce it to prove his worth to the older kid, but gets slapped across the back of his head for his failed effort.

“NO!!! You are doing it all wrong!!”

The eighteen year old starts to scream at him profanity, something that Gerrit remembered from his teachings from his mother was a sign of disrespect towards the Lord and to his children. The term children always confused him, because he knew who his mother and father were and he couldn’t help but wonder why someone that you cannot see should be referred to as YOUR Father? Something that he had always wanted to ask his father about, but never had found the guts to ask him…. and now it is too late for him to have that one specific talk with his father after his passing.He had always blamed himself for never taking control of his own destiny and do what is best for him. Kids at school had accused him for being weak, a coward for never standing up for your own beliefs. Something he always cried about in bed, knowing that they were true. He was a mommy’s boy, who would always be there for him to soothe him for being hurt. But now he wanted to prove to her that he has changed, or so at least that’s what he had been telling himself during the entire walk towards the gang he wanted to join, only he had believed that they were a club that only choose those they believed were worthy to be a part of them.

“Did you get all that???”

He quickly nods, he had indeed listened to the 18 year old… His name was Mike or Mickey,he wasn’t sure as everything went so fast for him. He had been behaving differently ever since the same kid had asked him to be a part of his group, telling him that he had seen something in him that others couldn’t or didn’t want to see in him, he was told that he saw a future leader in the fifteen year old. Words that captivated his imagination, as he always dreamt of one day becoming someone important… Something that he ultimately has realized many years later.

“Yes sir, I…”

The eighteen year old is laughing out loud, screaming out something towards his fellow friends, who returned his laughter with their own.

“Kid, my name is Mike… stop being so polite damnit.”

The fifteen year old blushes at the remark of the older kid, something that his parents had taught him to always use the Sir towards his elders. It was difficult for him to suddenly change even though he had wanted to be tougher and more outspoken. But every time when he is confronted with the opportunity to express himself the way he had always imagined how it would be when he finally would. But this wasn’t the moment for him to do so….

His thoughts suddenly goes back to his first ever fight as a very young kid, inwardly it made him chuckle as a five year old. His fights were more loud screaming and a lot of arm waving to make an impression upon the other kid. Something that he had felt proud of himself when he had made someone run off crying…. Only to realize that those casualties you could count on one hand. Some tough fighter he had become.

“What are you laughing about kid??”

This causes Gerrit to shake out of his thoughts, realizing that he could not keep his fun moment to himself. Having shown a big time smirk upon his face while the other kid was talking, hoping that it would not be detrimental for him.

“Nothing sir…, err Mike.. I…”

He stares into the serious look on the face of the older kid, only to have him suddenly change his expression to a laughing one. He starts to slap his hand on his shoulder and tells him that he likes his kind of humor. Making him sigh of relief as he realizes that somehow he had made a good impression, even though he didn’t know how .

The two talk some more before Gerrit finally decides to do what he was asked to do, walking out of the club house made him feel his heartbeat felt deep inside his throat, the sweat pouring out of his veins while having the feeling that people had been looking at him differently than normal. He looks down towards his hands, staring at the package that he is holding tight against him, listening carefully whether he hears something tick or shake.

“What the fuck am I doing??”

He asks himself, starting to question himself what he actually was carrying. Whether he should take a peak before getting on the bus, but those thoughts quickly vanish when he sees the bus approach.

“Let’s get this over with….”

He whispers towards himself, stepping in the bus with shaking legs and trembling fingers. Handing the bus cart towards the bus driver for him to stamp before he turns his attention towards what seat he could sit on most. Noticing that most of the two seaters are taken by one or two passengers, causing him to curse at himself for not having a private spot for himself. Until he finds a spot at the very back of the bus as this causes him to sigh of relief. He walks towards the spt very quickly, trying to look over his shoulders in a way that he hopes that nobody notices before quickly dropping down. Hiding behind the seat in front of him as he stares at the package in his hands, wondering whether he has the guts to open it or whether he should.

“What do you have there son??”

The sudden voice startles the fifteen year old as he lifts his head, staring into the eyes of a man who looks at him questionably. This causes Gerrit’s fingers to start shaking around the package as he tries to hide it behind his back.

“I don’t remember this….”

The shot suddenly changes, the figures vanish and we are in a dark room filled with chains and burning candles. We see Goth tied up to a huge table with chains to his ankles and his wrists. He is bare chested as he notices a burning candle in front of him that is hanging sideways, causing the burning wax to slowly drip towards his body, who is anticipating with anxiety and disgust. His brain is racing, asking himself who in the hell could have been the one that had tied him up in this bondage room.

“I never pictured you to have been raised to be a good little boy…, where did it go wrong with little Gerrit??”

He grinds his teeth, the anger and hatred is fueling inside of his mind. Feeling his body temperature to rise as steam is emerging from his chest. His eyes look down to the center of his chest and notices the first drops of the wax dripping down upon his skin.

“That does look like it hurts….. ”

He groans a little, grinding his teeth together as he does not want to express the pain because he does not want to give the woman the pleasure.

“Or do you actually enjoying it Gerrit???”

He snaps his face towards the door opening where the sounds of the high heels are clicking upon the stone floor. The pale white silhouette of the female can slowly be seen as it disappears and reappears underneath the slit of her black gothic dress. Goth’s eyes
grows with anger, wanting to say something but feels the hot liquid of the wax dripping over his lips as it burns them together. He is trying to open his mouth, feeling the flesh start to rip apart before being glued together by the wax. The sensations is fueling his brain with spasms as his body starts to shake uncontrollable, the anger in his eyes has now been replaced by fear for the very first time. The footsteps he suddenly notices has increased to multiple footsteps, realizing that there are more people entering the dark room along with the twisted Lady Ashe as she enters the dark chamber, spreading her pale white arms that he now has noticed for the first time has dark tribal tattoos that cover most of her white skin. His eyes notices the figures behind her that she is keeping abay by her extended arms., noticing the faces as he becomes aware that for some reason they look familiar.

“Do you recognize our guests Gerri?? Oh that’s right, I forgot that I had to close your lips together for now. Seeing that these gentlemen do rather not enjoy the sound of your profanity…. And if I could be honest?? I could not disagree more with them.”

Her sinister grin emerges upon her face,baring her fangs as she slowly walks over towards him while the two figures remain standing at the entrance of the chamber. His gaze upon hem is as if his neck has frozen every muscle that would grant him to make movements with his head before it’s been grabbed by the strong hand of the vampire, Yanking his head backwards as he feels the muscles in his neck and shoulders slowly start to rip away the connection towards his head, a muffled scream fills his ears and that of the vampire as she is laughing in a sadistic fashion.

“Oh please do, please continue Gerrit… It’s so much more pleasurable than hearing you articulate…. or at least attempt to… poor little boy….”

She gently rubs her hands over his head, and he suddenly realizes that his long black hair that has been trademark for several decades has changed into a smaller clean cut. His eyes turn upwards in a foolish attempt to see what is going on on top of his head

“What’s the matter Gerrit? You just noticed that your long black hair is missing?? Well that’s correct, because I am tormenting your current day mind with the body of yesteryears. Such a delightful experience I never knew that I had it in me.”

The realization starts to set in, this is another dream that she had forced him to be tormented in. All he has to do is just to concentrate so that he could wake up, only to realize that for some reason he can’t. He starts to shake his body, sweat is pouring from his forehead before a muffled scream is filling the entire room and most importantly his own ears as the wax is now engulfing his entire  upper body until his neck. He is able to look down his now covered upper body, completely covered in the burning wax of what he remembered one single burning candle.Making him think that this is impossible that such a small item could do so much damage upon him. The soft touch of the long and sharp fingernails of the vampire woman drags him out of his thoughts,Causing his body to yearn for another touch, making him react in a shocked fashion before attempting to resist the temptation that his body is feeling.

“Forgive us Lord for our daily sins?? Such a powerful yet weak sign of all you believers out there isn’t it Gerrit?? It has always made me revel in joy to think that all of you humans love to live your lives with double standards, as long as it may suit you of course.”

He wants to refuse her words, but deep down inside he knows there are some elements of truth behind it. Making him even more frustrated over the fact that he is at her mercy and his body desires for the woman that he had come to hate so very much. Realizing that it is the body of a teenager that has hit puberty that desires the forbidden longing of a woman of flesh and blood. The unknown that excites him, even if he does not wish it to be so.

“If you want I can free your hand for a little touch??”

She whispers into his ear as she had leaned over to him, nearly allowing her lips to touch the flesh of his cheeks. He tells himself to not give in, knowing that he loves Melissa in his normal state of living. A thought that has caused her to laugh into a deep and nearly demonic laughter as she slowly backs off from him as this allows the soft breeze of the cold air to touch his sweaty flesh.

The realization comes to live as he does not feel the hot wax cover his upper body, daring to look over to his body as he sees nothing but his ribcage with the muscles surrounding it. His flesh has vanished somehow, causing his eyes to widen while staring at the faster beating heart inside his ribcage.

“Forgive me for not having shown any sign of manners towards you and my newly acquainted friends Gerrit. But these men are the ones that had lured you from the safe passage that you had volunteered to walk away from. And for what reason was it again? Oh yes, to guide your mother through a better life isn’t it?? Truly a wonderful,  yet delusional attempt to hide the fact that you have no morals to begin with. Aren’t you ashamed of how you put them through hell all those years???”

Goth wants to cry, once again connected with the truth of his past that he had believed that he had found peace with. After having reconciled with his mother after all those years and yet Ashe had brought it all back again. He quickly tears his gaze away from her, not wanting to look into those dark red eyes of death, but also truth. A word that he had hated for countless of years, because truly the only person he had hated was himself.His attempts to disappear inside the confines of the table is met by sadistic laughter. Knowing all too well that it is nothing more than a futile act because of the knowing fact that he is dreaming all of this.

“Oh yes! Please hide behind your belief that this is nothing more than a mere dream!! It makes everything so much more delightful, I’ll even try to help you by adding another dimension behind your lies by making you snore if you truly want to??”

Surrounding him Goth hears snoring sounds as it echoes throughout the entire chamber, but it seems that only he can hear it…. He quickly recognizes his own snoring, as if his outer body is somewhere out there in a different dimension, brought closer to his own senses that he is trapped inside her own will. This thought causes him to give up, surrender to whatever demonic thought of sadistic pleasure that she has for him. Hoping that it one day may very well end for him to continue with his life…., or merely for him to succumb to the punishment that he deserves to receive….

“Wake up sweetie, it’s time for breakfast.”

Goth sits up, sweating like crazy. He stares towards his upper body and sees that everything is back to normal as well as having his long hair back again. He looks around him, realizing that he is back in the hotel room that he and Melissa had been staying for a while…. Only noticing a burning candle that he remembers from his dream, grinding his teeth because he knows there are so many more torments to come for him at the hands of Lady Ashe….

“So close, yet so far away”

Soft words uttered by the man we know as Goth, seated inside his own limo while seemingly driving into the unknown as the driver has been ordered to just drive without any direction given.Goth just wants to be alone, while overthinking so many different things and this is one of the ways he had learned throughout his career. He is writing something down on a piece of paper, staring at it with a focus of finding answers for the dreams that had been bothering him. Also realizing that he has a match to prepare for for Wednesday Night Warfare, against an opponent named Mercy. Making him think back to Mercedes Vargas, a fellow hall of famer that people lovingly had named Mercy… but he is sure that will be the only similarity between the two competitors that he could come up with. But that’s okay, its not the first time that he had come in contact with an unfamiliar foe, it only made him want to accept the challenge even more. To acknowledge who the better wrestler is on that given night before moving on, only to have that moment of telling the other who the better one is. He is not unknown with the trials of testing each other’s ego, it’s quite simple to be honest. You either shut someone’s mouth after beating that person, or have it shoved down your through just as hard with the other way around.

“For fuck sakes….”

He annoyingly says after scratching some of his thoughts off the piece of paper. Noticing that the piece of paper on the note block that he was holding has got more scratches on it than ideas. Clearly he has not come any further than when he had told the driver to drive towards somewhere, that was a few hours ago. Ripping the piece of paper away before throwing it down on the ground in front of him before starting all over again.It takes only five minutes of staring at the light blue lines on his note block to come to the conclusion that he is better off not to continue. This causes him to throw it down on the couch next to him, leaning his head back against the headrest while staring through the window next to him as he stares through the corner of his eyes. He had been angry after having come so close to win the Xtreme championship on the last big show from XWF, only to be outdone by the later champion. He had to admit that she had put on a hell of a fight. He had no problems admitting that she was the better person on that given night, but it didn’t mean that he liked it. But it didn’t mastered now, he couldn’t change the outcome of the match, it was his turn to get back into the situation of being able to challenge for it one more time. The thought of doing the same that had overcome to the former champion LSM had crossed his mind, but he preferred to do it on a grand stage.. not somewhere in a pizza parlor or something. No, he had to focus on Mercy. A big name in this company as he had come to the understanding that she has quite a reputation built in this company. Something he of course would welcome with open arms…,

“History repeats itself once again doesn’t it?? Always the first time getting inside the ring with someone that you have never squared off against. I wonder, what is it about that what excites me so badly?? Is it an addiction of sorts??”

He smiles as he closes his eyes and allows his body to relax inside the limo, the soft leather couch that he is sitting on. Truth to be told is that he hates the wealthy lifestyle that he is capable of providing for himself and his fiance as it consumes him and his personal life. Becoming public property many years ago was one thing, but the realization after all these years that it has not changed a damn bit. Twenty years ago he had not cared, he knew he would get lots of money to send his way for everything that he had said and done, because it fed his ego. But now with him grown into an older man with a family made him think differently about anything in his life, except his love for wrestling. The thought that he had retired in a fashion that had not sat well with him was the burning passion to redo the wrong he had felt that he had put on himself.

“And now I have to face you Mercy….”

He says after reopening his eyes as he is staring through the window next to him, trying to soak up enough of the scenery of wherever it is that he and the limo driver had entered after a long drive. He shrugs his shoulders for a moment as he lowers his gaze towards his hands as he slowly closes them into fists.

“I bet you have watched my match closely haven’t you? Preparing your comments and statements about how short I had come in that match… It’s okay my dear, it’s something that I would have done the same thing if I had been presented with the same opportunity?? Of course I would reach out and grab it with both hands. As it is the only way to survive in the business that we make our living with.”

He grinds his teeth while staring through the window next to him, he looked at the crowd on the paved walks as he thinks back to whenever the last time that he was there instead of sitting in this limo. Truth needs to be told, he barely can remember the days of having to scratch and claw for some lousy bucks. How things change when a beggar is handed a million dollars.. The thought causes him to chuckle slightly

“Thank God Warfare is approaching, it’s been frustrating to be waiting for the show to come around so that I can finally get off my ass and compete. Am I frustrated that I believed that I would walk away with the title instead of Atara??”

He turn his attention towards the camera without saying a word, showing an annoyed look that would tell it all.

“Forgive me if the assumption will make me an one dimensional individual because everyone out there is so fucking short sighted merely because I lost the opportunity to become the next Xtreme champion. Well gee people, you just allowed yourself to be the offspring of Albert Freaking Einstein… Good for you, now go and shove the theory of relativity up down your sphincter and amuse me!!”

He pushes his fist in front of his face, muting his curses into the flesh of his hand. He starts biting on the knuckles from his hand, causing it to turn whiter until he unleashes the pressure off of it.

“Just imagine, you all outsmart me?? ME!!! It made me almost pass out from laughter, because we all start to forget that even the best makes an assumption that ultimately ends up with you being on your back and face reality. I wonder where you had been after I took down Centurion or LSM? Seriously, but it’s okay though. You are entitled to have your worthless piece of opinion. So choke on it.”

He breathes deeply before staring ahead of him, noticing the eyes of the limo driver occasionally staring into the rearview mirror, causing Goth to sigh before rolling his eyes.

“Did you come up short with your parents giving you enough attention John?? If that’s the case, I will ask you to stop so that I can sit next to you on the passenger seat and listen intently to your first experience of a midlife crisis.”

“Sir??”

“NO…. no, please don’t allow yourself to be modest. Because I can tell that you have been dying to discuss your view on why the chicken crossed the road.”

Goth’s eyes are fixated upon the young driver’s eyes who are reluctantly staring back towards him before starting to swallow hard

“Forgive me sir… I…,”

Goth waves his hand towards the rearview mirror, silencing him as he already got bored by his nervousness.

“I just wanted to have some fun for fuck sakes, I dind’t expected a bedwetter to be the one that I was hoping would distract me from my issues. But alas, I guess it’s like it has been as always. And no, don’t start begging for another opportunity, because I will just kick you to the curve if you even dare to breath into my direction.”

The limo driver opens his mouth, but notices the dark cold stare from Goth and ultimately turns his attention back towards the road ahead of him. Goth smirks, he enjoys pushing people’s buttons at times from others, Hoping to come face to face with people witht he caliber like Atara. Realizing that Mercy would be a similar story for him like it was with the current champion that he had faced in that rather weird title match that he had been in. His thoughts drift off before noticing that the limo stop for the first time in quite some time, noticing that the limo is waiting in front of a red light, looking around he area that he is at and smirks.

“Turn left with the green light”

“Sir??”

“Just do i”

Goth watches the green light, he has a smirk emerging on his face as he starts to bet against himself whether the limo driver would actually do it. Only to sigh when he notices that the limo driver indeed turns left

“Coward..”

he whispers through his grinding teeth before leaning back.

“Do me a favor, just whatever I say…. please don’t react.”

The limo driver swallows and nods, keeping his eyes in front of him as Goth lowers himself on the coach he is seated in, extending his legs and groans while extending his arms before yawning.

“Mercy…. interesting name, I cannot imagine that there hasn’t been a day that passed in your life that people placed remarks upon what your name should be suggesting. Just like the fucking morons cannot phantom over the fact that there has been more than one brainless braincells out there that believed that I was nothing more than a rejected emo?? ”

He whispers out the word emo a few times while chuckling like he is laughing to a bad joke that someone has told him for the millionth time.

“So forgive me that I do not lower myself by assuming fifteen minutes in merely how stupid I will sound by just opening my mouth and let more than just sound xit into the void of the universe. Because the question that is stuck inside my mind is the mere question whether I am good enough to make the world look in shock until the next decade or so when I either take the pin or make you submit for a victory…. Because I have become aware that in this company nothing will emerge as a routine job isn’t it? But I will be damned to walk into a repeat of what has happened to Atara…. The question is going to be…. Will you convince me otherwise???

“Convincing a mad man is already a delusional thought, combined with the mere notion  that…. KEEP YOUR EYEZS ON THE ROAD DAMMIT!!!!”

This causes the limo driver to react startled as Goth had noticed him listening into him and staring at the rearview mirror a few times.

“Is it that difficult for people to listen these days?? FUCK!!! I need someone to show me that there are more than merely idiots out there…. And guess what Mercy? It makes me realize that there isn’t anyone out there that right now that I can think off but you. But I need to find out for myself, I need to pound it out of you instead in anticipation for the paint to dry. I know these words make no sense, but does it truly need to happen every single day of our stinking lives??”

He lowers his head into his hands as he had bent forward, shaking his head for a few moments before looking into the camera as it is zooming in on his face.

“I got you with that one didn’t I?? That’s why you are a cameraman instead of Mercy… Making me realize that I need to do exactly the same thing that Mercy is all about…. vicious, calculated and determined to beat the shit out of me… And guess what!!! Dare me to bleed, dare me to curse and cough up saliva or anything else that will get stuck in my mouth…. But I am not intending to be beaten Mercy… I am not intending to go down and be an afterthought….. Because there are better names out there that should just spit and try to wipe my stinking boots”

“It’s sickening to think that I may need to ask for forgiveness upon my delusional assuming words… But in the end, there is nothing left for me to do than just beat you. And in the end, I will sleep better after having choked you out….Because that’s the only thing that I know will stop the fuckign limo driver from being a bitch.”

Goth kicks in the back of the seat of the limo driver, who react in a shocked fashion before realizing that he’d be better off not to mess with the man that is named Goth as the shot slowly fades.




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