“Is my tie on straight?”

In the back of a limousine, Bartholomew “Boots” Lichter is looking at himself through the tinted window, trying to determine if he is dressed properly. The tie he is wearing is a solid black tie, which is complimented by the incredibly fancy and rich looking white suit that he is wearing. O. Bay T-Law, for his part, is dressed in full police officer regalia, as if he were attending a formal ceremony of some sort. T-Law looks completely spaced out, and seems to ignore Lichter, which causes Lichter to lean forward and slap T-Law in the shoulder.

“Hey, snap out of it. What, didn’t get enough sleep last night? Carolina girls got you worn out?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just nervous.”

“Bah, don’t be nervous. There’s nothing to be nervous about. You’re the big hero. There is nothing you can say or do that won’t get a positive reaction from these people. You’re going to have them eating out of the palm of your hand.”

Indeed, a crowd has gathered on Kill Devil Hills Beach in North Carolina, awaiting the arrival of the two wrestlers. T-Law will be making his first appearance in front of a crowd since being arrested for failing to comply with a Congressional subpoena in regards to his involving in the January 6th Capital Riots. The event, hosted by Father Jefferson Cheney, is supposed to be a welcoming party for T-Law, and a celebration of his refusal to “meet with the communists.”

“I don’t know, man. These folks – they can get wild, and almost all of them are packin’. What happens if I say something the old man doesn’t like, and he turns them all on me? They’d gut me like a fish before I made it back to the car.”

“Just don’t say anything stupid. Don’t leave your comfort zone. Remember, these people have the IQ of children. Just say a couple of buzzwords, talk some trash on some Democrats, and they’ll be throwing money at you like a stripper on a Saturday night.”

“What kind of trash? I’m not the one who follows politics – that's your thing, I don’t even know what’s going on in the news. Is that war still a thing?”

“Look, if you don’t know, just pull a name from someone we’re facing and call them a “liberal” or a “communist” or something like that. For example, say something like “Tommy Wish is a socialist that wants to raise your taxes and turn your kids gay.” Something like that.

“Does he?”

“Who fucking cares?! It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to sound good. Savannah Knightley and Liam Roberts are siblings that are also lovers, and they’re trying to spread they incestuous virtues to the rest of the country and normalize it in front of the children. Always add the children. That’s how you get the moms to go nuts for you. That and the uniform.”

T-Law glances down at his uniform and studies some of the badges and buttons on it.

“You think so?”

“Absolutely! See, this is your problem. You’re too oblivious to the world. You insist on wearing plain clothes and living a quiet life when you’re not in the ring, but why? That’s boring. You walk around dressed like that, and you’ll make the pussies melt.”

T-Law cringes at Lichter’s comment.

“Ugh! Do you have to be so gross? What would Cheney say if he heard you talking like that?”

“Cheney is never going to hear me talking like that, and neither is anyone else. Now focus. This week is the easiest week of our lives. You go out in front of that crowd and get greeted like a hero. We walk to the ring tomorrow night and beat a bunch of teams no one cares about. We get back on the plane and laugh as an easy half a mill gets put into our bank accounts.”

“You seem very calm about this, especially considering some of the folks that we’re going to be up against. Elijah Martin? Mac Bane? Those two don’t strike me as scrubs. And we have no idea how those Misfits are going to hold up in a match. And the THUGS...”

“Stop! This is what I’m talking about. You need to loosen up, man. Think about the match and the stipulations. Everyone in the ring at once. We’re in rural North Carolina. No disqualifications. One pin to a victory. This is right in our wheelhouse! If anything starts going wrong, the old man is just going to recruit a bunch of people to jump the barricade and help us out, and neither that fruit Vinnie nor that bitch Lacklan can do anything about it!”

Lichter looks away from T-Law and back out the window, and notices that the vehicle has now driven off the road and onto the beach. They slowly begin to pass by people, a crowd which gets denser and denser as it pulls to its location. Lichter is able to get one final shot out before the vehicle comes to a full stop.

“Mac Bane...give me a fucking break.”

After a couple of seconds, the driver of the limo walks to the back and opens the door, allowing T-Law and Lichter to step out. As they do, they hear Father Jefferson Cheney finishing up a speech.

“...and it is this evil that continues to persecute God fearing Christians in this nation! The evil that has infected every area of our society. The evil that continues to be battled by our warriors across the country, including THIS MAN! A man who has bravely defended us and our families. A man who was just released as a POLITICAL PRISONER! Ladies and gentlemen! Patriots of North Carolina! Please welcome, arriving with Bartholomew Lichter – Othmur Bay Tiberius-Law!”