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Lacklan · (04-19-2022)

Uh....will this guy EVER shut up?

"AND THEN HE'S GOING TO-"

Honestly, this guy has been going on and on and ON. And I LOATHE when peeps just drone on and on in their presentations. Why can't everyone have short and concise presentations like I do? World would be a better place, that's for sure.

"AND HE'LL RIP AND HE'LL TEAR AND HE'LL-"

Why is he yelling? All this guy does whenever I see him is yell and scream at the top of his lungs. Why can't everyone be calm and measured like I am? Keep their voices cool and at a nice mezzo. World would be a better place, that's for sure.

"AND WHEN IT'S DOWN TO THE LAST FOUR COMPETITORS, IT'LL BE 'STRANGLIN' TIME!'"

Sweet Baby Jesus, I kicked everyone out of my office for THIS?! Listen, I'm not gonna say that I followed the ENTIRE trial that was going on in my office the last two days...been focusing on what will be a KILLER Q-esque judge outfit...my Beloved loathes Q...in general, doesn't like the 'white people' version of Star Trek in favor of her Sisko-centric DS9 in general, but believe you me, she'll still do whatever the hell I want in the bedroom when Judge Sarah snaps her fingers!...but it was at LEAST more entertaining that THIS.

"AND THEN HE'LL STOMP THEM INTO THE MAT MORE THAN THE MANDALORIAN STOMPER EVER COULD, I TELL YOU WHAT!"

Arnold Cunningham. Representative of the Xpress Fighting System based out in Tokyo. And, as per the usual, wearing a GODAWFUL suit, this time puce. PUCE! What wears PUCE on PURPOSE?! Lord Above, Sweet Baby Jesus in the Manger, this is heard to listen to AND watch. Maybe I can just-

DING!

Oh good, a distraction. Let's see...XWF emails...bunch love notes from Vita...more "plEAsE lOvE mE" messages from the most recent XWF pissbaby who can't take an L with any sort of grace...random note from Jenny...again...really need to sit down with her and make sure she's axly okay...another cat cute cat pic from my BABY sis, because of course there is...another email from Vinnie thanking me profusely for giving all of his shows content and a reason for the mainstream to watch...you're welcome, bb...the latest proof of the "Save Chaz" promotional material...that poor guy, such a sweet family who is dying to have their daddy back home...ah, here's the new one that pinged...uh. Just ANOTHER request to be on Fireside Chats. I'll just send that over to the "yeah, right" folder so that it can sit with the rest of it's brethren. No, I'm not going to be on Fireside Chats, the Tragik Report, The Johncast, or A Quick Facial. As my BABY sis would say: Ew.

"AND THEN-"

"Mr Cunningham?"

"AND AFTER-"

"Mr Cunningham?"

"AND IN THEIR DREAMS-!"

"MR CUNNINGHAM!"

There, that did it. Hate that I had to raise my voice to get his attention. I prefer to never raise my voice. Ever.

"How do you propose to control him?"

Lord, he looks straight-up dumbfounded. Le sigh.

"I understand your desire to let him loose in the ring during the battle royal, Sir. But how do you plan to get him into the ring in the first place?"

The him in question is, of course, the subject of this whole affair:

The Arastook Strangler. Once upon a time, the most feared monster within New England. But humbled and brought to heel by yours truly a year ago. Since then, he hasn't been seen on XWF television...or any television for that matter. But now, he's standing in front of me, in MY office, snarling and struggling to get out of restraints. Honestly, I didn't think they even made straight jackets that big. But, yet, if they make them large enough to fit over Rox's grotesquely gigantic boobs for BDSM night on her channel, I guess they can make one for the Strangler.

"Er...well...to be honest, I haven't really thought about that. BUT WHEN I DO GET HIM IN THE RING, HE'S GONNA-"

Yeah, I stopped paying attention then. Because as I look at this monster, this whirlwind of carnage, who...I guess?...has a desire to enter in Generic Heel's stupid battle royal, I have just the idea: He needs a handler. He needs someone who can pull him down, hold in him place. Someone who will be able to wrangle him into the ring, get him to focus...if you can call it that...on all the losers, jabronies, jobbers, enhancement talents, first-year students, Brenda-Verse aliens (watch out for super powers that conveniently never materialize in the ring!), RAAAAAAAB family members, members of the Yamazaki-Hitmaker Coalition of Losers (watch Old Man Johnny cut a promo...LOL!), the majority of the Madness roster, or whatever else ne'er-do-wells who may show up for this thing. And I know just the perfect person to be that wrangler.

Tune in on Anarchy to see them.

And then tell me about it...because I won't be anywhere NEAR the XWF headquarters that night. Day off, BAY-BAY!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Family First, Supplemental: The Man in the Puce Suit
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