Erica start off in the ring standing opposite of Jenny Myst. The two look back and forth at each other before reaching back and tagging in Mark Flynn and Jaius Omegus. The two men step into the ring and collide in the center of the ring. But Mark Flynn grabs him by the back of his head and pulls his head down as he drives his knee up!
Omegus staggers up as Flynn quickly reaches up and just RAKES the eyes!
HHL: How dirty!
PIP: A Mark Flynn specialty! Dirt!
Omegus is blind and out of it as Flynn grabs him and redirects him to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker! Jay Omega has seen enough as he rushes into the ring only to be cut off by North Korean War Criminal!
HONORABLE HERO’S LOW BLOW TO THE NETHER REGIONS!
Jay hits the mat and rolls out of the ring. Jenny and Ash both rush across the ring and take out Erica and Erin as they both tumble out the ring with fists and kicks flying in every direction!
The referee is disoriented and doesn’t know how to react as Flynn and NKWC just give each other a nod. Omegus staggers back to his feet as North Korean War Criminal dives towards his knee from behind with an…
HHL: My, those moves of his have very lengthy names.
PIP: Sssh, don't say that any louder. His country won't stand for that kind of talk.
Omegus cries out in pain, but Mark Flynn is there to put him out of it. He grabs him in a facelock before lifting him up and quickly turning it into a cutter!
THE END!
Mark Flynn covers Omegus as the referee turns his attention away from the carnage outside of the ring enough to see the pin.
ONE…
TWO…
THREEEE!
Winner by Pinfall: Mark Flynn, North Korean War Criminal, Jenny Myst, and Ash Q
Mark Flynn rises to his feet with North Korean War Criminal standing by his side. Jenny Myst and Ash Q stand victorious on the outside as the two nod at one another.
Backstage, we find Tag Team Champions Mark Flynn and the North Korean War Criminal not quite skulking about, but definitely giving off an air of trying very hard to not be noticed. Of a sudden, the two men stop short at an intersection; the camera pans 180 degrees to reveal a pair of men in gleaming metal armor in the styling of ancient Rome, each one holding a gladius in a ready grip.
"Mark Flynn, you know that, as the deadliest warrior of the mightiest army of the greatest nation on the entire planet, I am most certainly not a coward,"
"... Sure,"
"That said, it would probably be best if we avoid the angry-looking men with swords."
"Hard to argue with that."
Flynn & NK turn left down the hall, coming to a T-intersection at the end of it. Flynn looks left, NK looks right, then Mark nudges NK and points down the hall to another pair of Roman Legionnaires.
"Although I am eminently confident in our ability - perhaps mine slightly more - it might be a good idea to call for reinforcements."
With no wasted motion or effort, NK's hand delves into his pocket to retrieve his Motorola RAZR, his slim fingers typing out a text message with speed and precision. As he slips the phone back in his pocket, NK looks up and halts Flynn's forward motion with an arm across his chest. The camera pans in the direction they're looking, and finds another pair of Legionnaires advancing toward them. Seeing few options available, Mark grabs the War Criminal by the arm and hauls him through an unmarked door.
"See? I told you they would come to us. Superior military tactics, friend."
"Yeah, great, I'm actually very happy it worked. But is there a reason why we had to wait in the women's bathroom?"
The camera (which had inexplicably followed the Tag Champs but kept them in view this whole time) whips around to find Double Trouble standing against the far wall, Jay with arms crossed, Omega with his sword drawn.
"Never let your foe choose the battleground, and select the one he'll least expect."
Flynn squares his shoulders and takes a step forward, opening his mouth. Whatever bravado he intended dies on his lips, as a half dozen Legionnaires step out of the row of stalls, all with hands on sword hilts.
"One chance; give me my device, and walk away with all your bones intact."
Mark's eyebrows draw together in anger at Omega's threat, when NK's cellphone notifies him of an incoming text.
"Quickly, Mark Flynn; move!"
North Korean War Criminal shoves Flynn to the side, clearing the door just as it bursts inward under the glorious might of six North Korean cadets. At once the cadets surge forward to protect their handsome and powerful patron, while the Legionnaires close ranks in front of Omega and Omegus. The Romans and Koreans engage in ferocious hand to hand combat that sees the cadets unceremoniously slapped down by the trained soldiers.
"Great plan, NK."
"Thank you, Mark Flynn, but please save your praise until after my brilliant stratagem has been fully executed!"
"I was being sarca–"
"SECOND WAVE; ADVANCE!"
Another half dozen North Korean cadets pile into the room and assault the armored Legionnaires, with slightly more effectiveness than the previous wave, which is to say they aren't all immediately knocked unconscious. A third wave enters the room unbidden, and adds their might to the glorious cause.
"Now, Mark Flynn; while they are distracted! Crawl with dignity and grace! Use the fallen bodies as cover if you must!"
"Dammit! They're getting away! Clear a path! Clear a fucking path!"
The Legionnaires split smoothly, turning the press of Korean bodies to the sides as Jay Omega dives across the room in a vain attempt to block the Tag Champs' escape. Omega rises to his feet with a growl of frustration, and gives a brutal kick to the ribs of one of the fallen cadets. As the unconscious man shifts from the impact, Jay spies something buried under the pile of sacrificial bodies.
The Omega Man shoves the pile further out of his way and bends down to retrieve his stolen property, dropped in the fracas. Omega stands tall, straps the Wearable Espionage and Information Retrieval Device to his left forearm with a smile, then raises a hand to halt the Legionnaires on the verge of going after Flynn and the War Criminal.
"No, let them go; I've got my gear back, and that's what was really important. I'll get my hands on them again soon enough, and when I do… well, let's just say they won't get away so easily next time."
We see the X-Tron come to life, and we see "John Black" name shot up with the .38 special, and we see him at the stage in a black and white setting as he stands there taking in the mixed reactions. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he gives them some high fives, then he climbs on the steel steps and enters the ring, and he raises his fist in the air as he pounds his chest around the ring as his theme cuts off.
The arena is pitch black and the melancholy opening tunes to “Identity” begin. But as the song starts to pick up in intensity, down in the entryway, you see a Jericho-esque light up jacket glow brilliantly. Then, twin explosions emit from either side of the ramp and the lights turn on in a swirling red and blue pattern that throb in sync with the beats of the song. Corey comes down the ramp, the jacket now flashing intermittent heart and lightning bolt patterns. On the 'Tron you see images of Corey/Lux pulling off fantastic moves, intercut with blur effects on Corey's face that obscure his features in an eerie way.
Corey gets on the ring apron, throwing his arms over the top rope as the jacket keeps flashing. He looks pumped as hell, and starts pointing out at the fans before rushing to the top rope, surveying the crowd from on high, before dropping down to the canvas and handing off his jacket. He paces the ring now, waiting for the match to begin as the music and lighting effects wind down.
HHL: This is a major return for John Black up against the current longest reigning Supercontinetal Champion, Corey Smith!
Pip: You can say that again, my money is on Corey since I didn’t know JB would be back here on Warfare.
As the bell rings, JB and Corey shake hands and go to their corners. Then they circle around one another, and Corey starts to hit JB in the face with some punches, and follows up with a chop to the chest. Then then he chops him some more, and he gets him to the corner, then he backs up and charges to the corner to hit a Clothesline on the corner to JB, then he whips him to another corner and charges once more and lands another clothesline to JB, then he follows it up with a Bulldog off the corner to JB. Then Corey quickly goes for the cover, but JB kicks out of the attempt.
Corey then sits him up, and he goes to the ropes and beams a Sliding Dropkick onto JB’s body, then he lifts up JB and he tries to go for a suplex, but JB reverses it into his own Vertical Suplex on Corey. He then starts to stomp on him for good measure, then tries to go for a Chinlock, but Corey kicks JB in the head, and as JB was stumbling around the ring Corey got to his feet and hits various Punch combos onto JB, which caused him to fall on the mat.
Corey then waits for JB to get on his feet, and once he got up Corey tries to go for a Dropsault but he moves out of the way. Then Corey roll back up to his feet, and tries to hit a backhand fist but JB ducks it and he connects with a Headbutt on Corey. Then he lifts up Corey, and thrusted him to the corner repeatedly with his shoulder to his gut until the ref breaks it up by three. JB then Biel Throw Corey across the ring as the fans started to come to life.
HHL: Wow, for a return like this, JB sure still got his mojo from his hiatus in the ring against the champion, don’t you agree Pip?
Pip: I mean, i guess so but still… even if he threw the champ like a sack of potatoes across the ring, he still isn’t in the same league as him.
Then he taunts the crowd, and goes up to the downed Corey, he then locks in a Lance Storm type of Single Leg Lock, and he held it tightly until Corey manages to reach to the bottom rope. Then the ref counted up to four, and he breaks it off. JB then starts stomping on the left leg he locked the hold in, and even doing modified Brock Lock to stretch the leg, as Corey was in pain. Corey manages to reach the ropes again, and he breaks it off once again. The he tries to lift up Corey, but he ended up sending JB to Dick Kick City on his right leg, which the didn’t see.
As JB fell on the mat like a tree holding his nuts, Corey then laughed at him as the fans started giving mixed jeers towards what he just done. Then he hits a running Elbow drop on JB as good measure, and he points to the corner and he gets to the top, and a Moonsault on JB for the three count…
1…
KICKOUT!!....
Then Corey tries to apply a chinlock of his own, which connects as JB struggles to find away to break out of the hold.
HHL: I see that the champion is getting frustrated over how JB is upstaging him, and he’s making sure he has that power back to his favor.
Pip: That’s why Corey is the longest reigning champion of Warfare, he picks and choose where to go, and can make sure that whoever is in his way can make them suffer.
Then the ref does the arm drop on JB, after the four drop, JB had his fist in the air as Corey was struggling to lock him, then both men got on their feet and JB pushes him to the ropes and he beams him across to hit a Bionic Elbow on Corey, then he does it again, the he does a little shuffle and hits a final blow on Corey. Then JB taunts him to get up, as the fans are now siding with Corey and Corey gets on his feet and JB goes for a Powerslam, but Corey blocks the attempt and he gives him some Forearm Strikes for his troubles.
Corey then beams JB with an X-Pac style Roundhouse Kick, with a Karate pose. Then he goes for a Standing Moonsault which connects as he goes away from him, as he was waiting for JB to get on his feet, JB then slowly gets on his feet with the fans cheering him on, and as soon he was up, Corey gives him an Axe Kick on his good leg, and he goes for the cover…
1..
2..
TH–KICKOUT!
Corey gets even more frustrated as he confronts the ref over the count, then JB rolls outside of the ring to catcha breather. He then goes up to one of the fans, and they hand him a bottle of water which he accepts and takes a sip out of, then the person who gave him the bottle starts cheering. Then he turns around, and eats a Tope Con Hilo from the outside.
HHL: Corey managed to dive onto JB, he’s willing to put his body on the line at a time like this. I think he’s feeling too much pressure from JB!
Pip: At least JB catches his breath and has some water from a fan in the front row, I hope none of them got that rona or else he’ll be a liability to EVERYONE!
Then he lifts up JB and slides him back into the ring, and he goes to the top rope, and he attempts to hit his Corey Special Number 4, but catches him in mid air with The Rawkus Driver outta nowhere on Corey and immediately covers him..
1..
2..
TH—NO, COREY KICKSOUT!!
HHL: WOW THAT WAS AMAZING THAT JB WAS ABLE TO PULL THAT OFF!
Pip: I wouldn’t think that’s the BEST thing he’s done so far in this match, but I don’t blame him for busting that out to turn the tides on his side.
JB stands up and pulls Corey to his feet, suddenly Corey grabs him and sends JB running to the ropes, he rebounds, and Corey comes at him and meets him with
a running knee to the face. JB stumbles backwards but Corey is on top of him again and hits him with a Running Twisting Neck Breaker, anbd JB crashes to the canvas.
Corey suddenly covers JB.
1........
2.........
3
WINNER: COREY SMITH
HHL: Up next, Universe, Keiran Overton goes one on one with the Lionheart!
PIP: Thad has been reeling a little fresh off a rare loss on Warfare! Can he get back in the win column tonight!?
HHL: The XWF invades Tokyo on March 27 for March Madness! And that night, Thaddeus Duke is set to kick things off with a man...
HHL: ...who is apparently set to join us right now!
Ricky Rodriguez emerges from backstage to a rousing ovation from the Japanese XWF fans and begins to make his way toward ringside.
PIP: I can’t say I’m up to speed on Ricky Rodriguez, but from what I have seen, it seems to me that Tokyo is set to have one hell of a match to kick off March Madness!
Ricky Rod takes a seat at commentary and puts on a headset.
HHL: Ricky, welcome to commentary!
RR: Thanks Heather, it’s great to be here to watch my boy do what he does!
PIP: Ricky, in just eleven days, you go one on one with what I assume is one of your best friends… How do you prepare for something like that?
RR: That's a good ass ques..wait a minute.
Ricky looks around a bit before looking down at Pip with a gasp.
RR: Shit, I didn't even notice you there. But yeah, I mean..just gotta be able to put aside all the personal feelins and treat him exactly like he is..biggest opponent I've ever faced~
The following contest is set for one fall!
Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada weighing 3 hundred 10 pounds… The Destructive Beast… KEEEEIRANNNN OOOOOOVERTOOOONNN!
Beast by Puppy plays over the sound system as there's massive amount of boos when Kieran Overton walks out as he screams on top of his lungs with his hands in the air on top of the ramp, wearing shorts, shirt, gloves and boots before walking down as he ignores each one of the fans before he goes up the steps and goes over the top rope and places his hand on his left arm, basically not giving a damn about them before he turns to anger, while he goes to sit in the corner, waiting for his opponent to come to the ring.
KIERAN OVERTON
- vs -
THADDEUS DUKE w. Chris Page STANDARD MATCH
HHL: Overton is a big man, guys! Thaddeus Duke would be served well by not overlooking this man!
RR: Are you even serious right now?
PIP: Well, she’s right Ricky. Keiran...
RR: I know Thad alottabit. I’ve never known him to overlook any of his opponents. Thad is a guy that takes his craft very seriously.
...and his opponent… being accompanied to the ring by Chronic Chris Page...
Overton paces the ring a bit, awaiting the arrival of Thaddeus Duke.
Several moments go by between the ring announcers and any indication of Thad’s entrance to the ring. Finally… the Chris Page countdown hits.
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
Chris Page emerges from backstage but no music follows him. Cue the Kliq entrance point from Chris Page and squealing tires over the sound system.
RR: Oooo big pop. Bigbig pop!
HHL: Universe, it’s important to remember that for all of us within this business. We all started out just like you. As fans. Thaddeus Duke tonight, paying homage to the late great Scott Hall in a tribute fit for the Bad Guy.
Thad emerges from backstage ala the Bad Guy, cool as the other side of the pillow. His longish hair slicked back and one of his curls down his forehead. Wearing normal short black trunks and a Razor Ramon inspired vest. On the back of the vest: #BadGuy4Life On the back of his trunks, a Razor-inspired logo.
HHL: The reality is, very few in this business ooze with Machismo quite like our very own Lionheart!
PIP: He pays his respects tonight, as we all do Heather, Ricky… But this is part of who he is. He’s always worn his heart on his sleeve and he has always just been Thaddeus Duke!
RR: Say it with alottabit more bass in ya voice lildude. That's Thaddeus fuckin Duke right there. People aspire to be that man..and Ima send'em outta here with a loss.
Thad makes his way to the ring apron with a toothpick hanging from his mouth and a second tucked behind his ear. He looks at Ricky and takes the pick from his mouth, and flicks it toward his friend with a smile.
HHL: A declaration of war!
PIP: A war is what we’re in for at March Madness!
RR: Hit me right in the damn forehead. Fucker.
In the ring, he removes his vest, handing it through the ropes to CCP as Overton steps toward the middle of the ring. Turning his attention to Overton, Thad flicks his second toothpick, hitting Overton in the face. Overton shakes off the toothpick then charges across the ring, tackling Thad to the mat as the referee signals for the bell.
With Thad on the mat and covering up, Overton tries a ground and pound approach.
HHL: This is a bad spot to be in!
PIP: Overton has almost a hundred pounds on Thad!
RR: That don't matter none. He's faced bigger and better. Just let'em hit that groove real quick.
Overton leans off of Thad at the threat of disqualification. Getting to his feet, he stands back, watching as Thad gets to his. Just as Thad turns around, Overton grabs a hold of him, and sends him up and over with an overhead belly to belly suplex.
Kieran is quickly back to his feet and charges forward a few steps before leaping into the air and dropping a huge elbow into the sternum of the ten time former champion.
HHL: Overton quick with the lateral press!
1!
2!
PIP: And a kickout from the Lionheart!
RR: Of course he did! Gonna take alottabit more than that to beat Thaddy.
Overton rolls back to his feet and grabs a handful of Thad’s slicked back mane, pulling him to his feet. He uses his power to hoist Thad up off his feet and drapes him ribs first across his knee with a rib breaker. Not satisfied, he hangs on, standing up again before dropping him across his knee a second time. Then a third.
Still maintaining a hold of Thaddeus Duke, Overton gets vertical again before lifting Thad up onto his shoulder. Overton rushes across the ring a few steps before planting Thaddeus Duke with a hard, thunderous Oklahoma Slam and hooks the leg.
1!
2!
RR: Whew, gettin kinda close there, might needa find that groove here quick! Good job tho Thaddy!
HHL: Thad kicks out here on Warfare!
After the kick out, again, Keiran Overton rolls to his feet. Again, he lifts Thad off the mat before whipping him toward the ropes. On the rebound, Overton goes for a haymaker clothesline but the Lionheart ducks underneath, flying to the far side ropes. On that rebound, Thad springboards off the top rope, back flipping over the advancing Destructive Beast and landing on his feet. Overton turns around to find Thad. Thad scoops him up annnnnnnd… crash!
HHL: Thad Duke just got flattened like a pancake!
RR: Dude looks like he ate alottabit of those. Can’t say I blame him though, fuckin love pancakes.
PIP: Overton didn’t have enough forward momentum for Thad to get him over!
Upon the crash landing, the referee again goes for the count.
1!
2!
RR: Alright! C’mon Thaddy! Get back innit, you got this!!
HHL: Once more, Thaddeus Duke kicks out and this match continues!
PIP: This match hasn’t started in Thad’s favor but his resilience is of historic significance!
HHL: That it is, Pip! Thaddeus Duke has made a career out of being one of the most difficult competitors to beat!
Overton gets to his feet and again pulls Thad to his. Keiran backs him toward the ropes and whips him across to the far side. On the rebound, Thad leaps in the air with a drop kick, nailing Overton in his upper chest. Overton stumbles back as Thad is quickly back to his feet. Keiran charges toward Thad but Duke drops to the mat and takes Overton down with a drop toe hold.
Thad, using his quickness, puts Overton in a sort of STF hold, but elects to paint brush the back of Overton’s head.
HHL: Shades of the Bad Guy here on Warfare!
RR: Prolly gonna piss off the big guy!
PIP: Well Ricky, as I’m sure you’re aware, Thaddeus Duke is kinda famous for pushing buttons.
Thad gets back to his feet and backs off as an agitated Overton gets back to his. Overton runs his mouth at Thad, but the Lionheart just laughs at him. This only incites rage in Overton and he throws a right fist at Thad. Duke blocks it, sending a hard right hand of his own to the jaw of Overton. Then a second, then a third. Thad then delivers a final discus shot to Overton’s jaw, dropping him to the mat.
Quickly, Thad runs toward the ropes and bounces off. As he nears Overton, he drops a lightning quick legdrop and gets back to his feet. Again he runs to the ropes and drops another lightning quick legdrop before once more popping back to his feet.
Overton works his way to his feet as Thad runs off the ropes. On the rebound, he leaps in the air with a cross body block…
HHL: And the power of Keiran Overton on display here!
PIP: Caught him in mid air!
Overton backpedals a few steps before delivering a fall away like maneuver, sending Thaddeus Duke over head and over the top rope, crashing hard to the floor. Keiran runs his mouth at the booing Japanese crowd before stepping out to the floor.
HHL: Right here in front of us!
PIP: I don’t think he likes your presence, Ricky.
RR: What presents? I didn’t even get'em nothin.
On the floor, Overton stares down Ricky Rodriguez while Thad is sprawled out.
RR: Lookin like he bouta eat me, get the hell outta here.
Pulling Thad to his feet, Thad starts to send some shots to Overton’s midsection, stunning him but only momentarily. Overton then drives a knee lift in Thaddeus Duke’s gut then slams him down head first into the announce table.
Overton looks at Ricky Rodiguez and slaps the headset off his head. Rodriguez pop to his feet and is promptly in Overton’s face. Chris Page, agent to both Ricky and Thad Duke quickly tries to get in between them. The official stops his count and aids CCP in separating the two men.
Finally successful, CCP backs away. Ricky returns to the announce table. And Overton returns his attention to the Lionheart.
HHL: Welcome back, Ricky Rodriguez!
RR: This fuckin guy, you see how alottabit rude that was, Heather?. Didn’t even do nothin’ but I'm bout to if he keeps his shit up.
PIP: Such is life in the world of professional wrestling. Leave it to wrestlers to create drama where none exists.
RR: Maan, you are so right lildude!
Overton swings Thad into the ring before hopping up on the apron. For a moment, he takes in the booing crowd before stepping into the ring. With Thad laid out on the mat, Overton reaches down and starts to pull him vertical before placing his head between his legs for a power bomb.
Keiran lifts up the Lionheart, but Thad locks his ankles and starts pounding away on Overton, sending right fist after right fist into the skull of the larger competitor. Overton staggers backward several steps before Thad takes him to the mat with a hurricanrana.
Thad is quickly back to his feet and runs toward the ropes as Overton gets vertical. On the rebound, Overton tries to avoid by lifting Thad into the air with a sidewalk slam, but Thad wraps his legs around Overton’s head and takes him right back to the mat with a head scissor takeover sending the larger competitor back to the mat.
HHL: He’s got highly educated feet!
PIP: That he does!
Thad is back up quickly and Overton isn’t that far behind. Though getting a little winded due to Thad’s speed and quickness, Overton turns in search of Thad, but turns right into a scoop and slam to the mat from the Lionheart. Thad quickly goes to the apron to the behest of the official and climbs to the top rope. He perches on the top and measures for distance before leaping from the top dropping a Savage Elbow to Keiran Overton before quickly hooking the leg.
1!
2!
HHL: Overton kicks out!
PIP: He did, but Thad has momentum on his side here!
RR: Bigmomentums from the Thadster brother!
Thad gets to his feet quickly while Overton rolls to his stomach and starts to get back to his. With Overton doubled over as he catches his wind, Thad approaches from the side and rear. Overton sends a quick back elbow toward Thaddeus Duke’s midsection but he flips sideways over Keiran’s back and lands on his feet before taking Overton back to the mat with a side Russian legsweep.
HHL: Nice evasive maneuver there from the Lionheart!
PIP: I don’t know how he does these things!
RR: I train with him a wholelottabit, Pip! Parkour and leg day, that's we do! That and he’s just a crazygood athlete.
Thad pops back to his feet and stands back in waiting for Overton. Keiran fights his way vertical and turns to find Thaddeus only to get taken down with an RKO from the Lionheart.
HHL: Shell Shocked!
PIP: He’s in a groove!
RR: See, I told you!
Thad quickly rolls Overton over and hooks the leg.
1!
2!
HHL: Overton kicks out at the last possible moment!
RR: Come on Thaddy! You got this! He ain't shit to you!
Thad pops back to his feet after the kickout and quickly retreats to the apron.
HHL: Looks like Thad is about to take to the air again!
RR: Overton is a bigbit bigger than Thad. Gotta resort to other avenues… or flight paths...
Thad scales to the top rope and Overton knows it’s coming. Instead of lying there and taking it, he rolls across the ring to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Thad though, just scoffs and rolls his eyes.
HHL: Is...
PIP: Is he gonna do it anyway!?
Thad stands upright on the top and quickly tight rope runs the top rope from one corner to the next. Then takes off across the other rope before leaping into the air and landing a shooting star press onto Keiran Overton.
HHL: Incredible balance!
PIP: You see what you’re in for at March Madness Ricky?
RR: Hell yeah, I do! Look forward to it tee be aitch~
Thad pops to his feet again after the Mother of all Bombs and looks around at the roaring crowd. Standing in the center of the ring, he gives the crowd the “that’s it!” Razor taunt causing more roaring. He peels off toward a corner as Overton battles to his feet.
Thad bounds out of the corner…
HHL: Heat Seeker!
Overton ducks!
PIP: Overton was ready for him!
Overton with a shot to the midsection.
RR: Ahh oh no!
Flip Piledriver incoming!
HHL: Destructive Driver!
But!
PIP: HOLY SHIT!
Thad flips to his feet!
RR: GET HIM THAD!
Front drop kick to the seated Keiran Overton! Thad peels off toward the corner as Overton starts to get back to his feet and shake off the drop kick.
Super kick incoming!
HHL: HEAT SEEKER FROM THADDEUS DUKE!
SMACK!
PIP: HE GOT ALL OF IT!
Overton lands flat on his back!
RR: HOOK THAT LEG!
Thad lands on Overton and hooks the leg!
1!
2!
3!??????????????????????
WINNER: Thaddeus Duke
As the opening riff of "Bloody Tear" tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, slapping hands with her fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd as her music dies down.
HHL: "Vita Valenteen is on a bit of a streak this month, coming into this contest at 2 and 0!"
PIP: "Well, GOODLUCK getting past THIS GUY with that streak, and her head INTACT!"
The lights go out…the crowd screams with anticipation for who is to enter! The soft sounds of Stryper’s Yahweh start to play. The crowd erupts into loud cheers as the music takes off and Morbid Angel appears on the entrance ramp like a gift from God!
He swiftly makes his way down to the ring, greeting people as he goes, shaking hands, and giving high fives.
He gets to the ringside and climbs the stairs, He then steps over the top rope and awaits his opponent.
MORBID ANGEL
- vs -
VITA VALENTEEN STANDARD MATCH
PIP: "Ari Silverstein is our official for this contest!"
HHL: "Ari? When is the last time he called a match?"
PIP: "I haven't the slightest, but that's probably because it was on Anarchy!"
Ari calls for the opening bell!
Vita circles the ring sizing up Morbid Angel before they lock up in a standard collar-and-elbow tie-up. The tie-up lasts only a few seconds before Morbid brute forces Vita to the mat in an impromptu slam-like maneuver, an impressive display of force. Vita kip-ups, instantly getting back to her feet and smirks. Morbid gives her a classic "just bring it" taunt, wanting more.
PIP: “Vita Valenteen is too stupid to realize when she’s in over her head!”
HHL: “I don’t know PIP, VV has a proven history of defying the odds!”
Never one to back down from a challenge, Vita once again locks up with Morbid, but he overpowers her again slamming her downward, this time with authority! Vita is slower to get up and hesitates at one knee. Morbid grins and once again urges Vita forward. With a fiery, determined look on her face, Vita locks up with Morbid again. Once again Morbid attempts to slam her to the mat, but this time, Vita rolls with the forward momentum and executes an improvised facebuster! Morbid quickly springs up to his feet, embarrassed, and charges at Vita, Vita springboards off the ropes with a swinging bulldog, but Morbid catches her out of the air effortlessly and slams her down with a thunderous sidewalk slam! Morbid lays back for the easy cover, but Vita hooks his shoulders with her arms and legs and rolls him to the mat instead!
HHL: “Vita’s looking to make it an early night!”
1!
2!!
Morbid kicks out with force rolling through and jumping to his feet quicker than Vita! Morbid levels her with a Clothesline to Purgatory! Vita flips inside out before hitting the mat and rolling to the outside with a thud! Morbid gives chase and peels Vita off the floor and drags her to the ringpost where he smashes her face into the steel before tossing her in under the ropes! Morbid follows and grabs Vita by the neck, lifting her to her feet, and then up even higher! Vita comes to life as her eyes bulge from her skull and she kicks her legs desperately! Morbid hesitates, staring deep into her soul before slamming her to the mat! Morbid circles Vita, watching in delight as she struggles for air! Vita struggles up to one knee as Morbid makes his move and rushes in with a massive Shining Wizard!
PIP: “Morbid Angel just knocked a vampire out cold!”
Morbid sits up all smiles as he admires his work before covering Vita!
1!
2!!
HHL: “Morbid shouldn’t have wasted so much time before going for the pinfall!”
Morbid slaps the mat and pulls Vita back up to her feet. Morbid positions Vita for a Chokeslam, but Vita reverses it into a The Rings of Vita and wrenches back as she tries to wrestle Morbid to the mat to lock it in completely, but Morbid still has plenty of fight left in him and slams himself backward, sending all his weight crashing on top of Vita, breaking the hold! But the fight remains on the ground, and Vita is like a spider, a whirling mish-mash of arms and legs! In the scramble for positioning, Vita transitions into an Armbar! It's locked in tight and Morbid is feeling it in a bad way! But Morbid had been slowly making his way towards the ropes while defending, and uses his position to quickly force a rope break! Morbid hastily slides out of the ring and loudly curses, holding his arm, but the action isn't over yet! When he turns around he's greeted by the sight of Vita flying towards him! Vita leaps over the top rope towards Morbid and catches him in a Tornado DDT on the outside! The fans cheer loudly at the explosive maneuver and both man and woman are down!
On the outside, Vita is having trouble getting the big man back up on his feet and back into the ring. She attempts to facelock Morbid in order to get him back up... but Morbid darts forward while in the headlock and slams Vita back-first into the side of the ring! He gets up angrily and elbows Vita right in the side of the jaw! But he's not finished yet! He then swings that same elbow back around and catches her with a back-elbow strike to the side of the head! He then begins hammering down on her with punches! Vita is assaulted with furious blows to the head and the body! He then locks his arms around Vita's shoulder and hip tosses her over the guardrail and into the crowd! Several fans go down as Vita's body crashes into them!
PIP: “Morbid isn’t playing games anymore!”
Morbid retrieves Vita from the crowd quickly in order to avoid getting counted out, and rolls her back into the ring. He hauls her back up to her feet, but she is quickly brought crashing back down to earth as Morbid Powerbombs her! Morbid covers her for the pin!
1!!
2!!
Two and a half! Kickout by Vita!
HHL: “I don’t know what Vita fed on before this match, but it’s paying off in spades with all of these kickouts!”
PIP: “Oh I see, so this whole vampire thing is just a new way for her to get away with using performance enhancers, AGAIN!”
HHL: “If I recall, Pip, she was being unknowingly drugged back then!”
PIP: “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what her PR department wants you to think!”
Morbid pulls Vita up for a second powerbomb... but it's reversed into a second facebuster! Vita gets up to her feet, powering through the pain, and locks Morbid into an Octopus Hold! Morbid's all tied up while Vita uses every bit of that vampire strength and torques and grinds him to the breaking point! Morbid can no longer hide the pain and noticeably cries out! Vita responds by yelling at him to tap! As Morbid grunts and groans in pain as Vita continues demanding that he tap! Morbid summons up more of his considerable strength and literally claws his way to the ropes with his one free leg, and for a few brief seconds, she even uncharacteristically refuses to release the hold, but in the end, she does, not wanting to run the risk of being disqualified.
PIP: “Did you see that! She refused to immediately break the hold! It’s no wonder that she lost her hero card!”
HHL: “I think your reaching, Pip!”
Morbid crawls away from Vita and towards the nearby turnbuckles as Vita positions herself on the apron. Morbid uses the ring ropes to get back to a standing position, but when he turns around, Vita dives at him with EAT DEFEAT! Morbid staggers back right into the corner, and nearly goes down but he manages to instinctively reach out at the nearby ropes to keep himself standing, but before he can recover, Vita comes crashing in with a Running Corner Double Knee Smash, every pound of her crashing into Morbid's face! This time the big man does go down! Vita is slow to rise, but Morbid is slower. Vita makes her way back to the center of the ring and once again goes for the Running Corner Double Knee Smash! Morbid is almost done for! Vita drags Morbid to the center of the ring and locks in the Rings Of Vita! Morbid is trapped in the middle of the ring with nowhere to go! The last of his strength seems to fade as Vita screams in fury and attempts to pull Morbid's head off!
PIP: "Please, Jesus, Save him!"
Morbid is out! Ari calls for the bell!
WINNER VIA SUBMISSION - VITA VALENTEEN!
Vita bounces around the ring celebrating to the delight of the crowd!
HHL: "Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered players, Pip! Nonetheless, Vita Valenteen continues her March undefeated streak heading into Round Two of the Anarchy Plump Pigeon Tournament tomorrow night where she will face Ruby in a highly anticipated encounter!"
PIP: "Nobody gives a damn about Anarchy!"
Suddenly, the X-Tron is eclipsed by a smaller Tron that is lowered in front of it from the rafters.
Minis General Manager Quentin Quinn struts out onto the stage with a mic in hand and looks toward the ring with a big smile. The Minis referee Tater McGillicutty stands beside him.
“Ladies! Gentlemen! Everything in between! Welcome to the BEST part of Wednesday Night Warfare… the part where not a single OUNCE goes to waste! My Minis are changing the world twice as fast as people twice their size, and that continues here TONIGHT! Now… feast your eyes…”
Quinn gestures back to the MiniTron, which lights up in red, white, and green…
The music plays as a masked mini steps out from behind the curtain. Quentin Quinn raises his mic.
“The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is NO HOLDS BARRED! Introducing first, weighing a trim cincuenta y cinco pounds… from Chihuahua Mexico… El Búho!”
El Búho steps into his corner and awaits his opponent. Quentin Quinn clears his throat as the MiniTron flares up again.
“And his opponent… weighing 64 pounds… from Detroit Michigan… Hubcap!”
Hubcap perp walks to the ring with an actual hubcap in his hands, which he props up in his corner before entering the ring.
Quentin Quinn exits the ring and leaves the area as referee Tater McGillicutty calls for the bell!
ding! ding! ding!!!
Hubcap charges at El Búho but El Búho leaps over him and Hubcap crashes into the corner face first. El Búho hops onto the bottom rope and springboards with a drop kick right into Hubcap’s face!
With Hubcap dazed, El Búhoruns the ropes and hops onto the bottom strand again, flipping backward in an Asai moonsault but gets caught in mid-air by Hubcap… LITTLE ENDING!!!
Hubcap hooks a leg!
1!
2!!
El Búho kicks out!!!
Hubcap gets angry and pounds his ftss into the mat, then heads to his corner for his weapon. He grabs the metal circle and turns back around… and eats a running enzuigiri! Hubcap drops his hubcap, and the two Minis brawl over it, exchanging hard rights and lefts… until Hubcap jams a thumb in El Búho’s eye!
El Búho doubles over, and Hubcap grabs the hubcap… SMASH! He rams it into the head of El Búho!
Hubcap drops the steel onto the mat and grabs El Búho in a piledriver… El Búho reverses! El Búho drives Hubcap’s skull down into the metal! Then El Búho climbs all the way up to the SECOND rope before flying off with the MIDNIGHT’S FLIGHT corkscrew splash!!!
El Búho with a cover!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - El Búho
El Búho celebrates in the ring as a shot of the ramp shows Quentin Quinn applauding and smiling.
Centurion slowly makes his way down to the ring with a grin on his face as this has a big match feel.
The lights in the arena go out, causing the usual hysteria from the crowd. After a few seconds, Peter Vaughn's face appears on the big tron, darkly smirking down at the fans.
"This Time... It's Different."
After Vaughn finishes speaking, he begins to laugh. His laughter carries on as the Tron video overtakes his image, beginning with "This Time It's Different" by Evans Blue. Sparks begin to erupt around the stage, showering nearby fans who feel like they're a little too close to the action. As the fireworks die down, two figures appear through the smoke and haze. Peter Vaughn walks forward first, wearing his dark blue gear, with the XWF Universal Championship wrapped around his waist. Chronic Chris Page stays behind him, smiling at the reaction Vaughn is getting. They stop at the top of the ramp, surveying the hatred from the crowd. From Vaughn's reaction, you'd think they were chanting his name, as he walks down the aisle with a cocky smile, with Page right behind him. The two make their way into the ring, heading into a corner to discuss some last-minute strategy.
Centurion and Peter Vaughn circle around the ring as the bell rings. Chris Page stands on the outside with his arms folded over his chest as he watches the two shorties battle in the main event. The two combatants meet in the center of the ring with their fingers interlocking for a test of strength. Centurion quickly wrenches the wrist of Peter over before pushing down with his body weight supporting him. Peter looks around himself before falling to the mat. He manages to roll back onto the bridge of his back before getting his feet up and pressing them into the chest of Centurion. He does so with enough impact to bring himself back up to a standing position.
Centurion actually smiles at this before Peter pulls one hand free before wrapping the left wrist of Centurion behind his back. Cent throws an elbow strike back, but Peter dodges. Peter swings him back out before catching him with a knee right to the midsection. Peter grabs his head and snaps back for a DDT!
BUT Centurion grabs the top rope to hold himself steady as Peter slams down instead!
HHL: Centurion is wiley for sure.
PIP: Getting these high-impact, high energy moves on Centurion is going to be a little more difficult!
Peter is holding his head as Centurion grabs a leg and flips him over onto his belly while holding the single-leg Boston Crab! He seems to be softening him up for his finish! Centurion pins the leg to his side underneath his armpit and yanks back forcefully. Peter reaches out for the rope and begins to crawl. Cent doesn’t allow any movement though. Peter clutches his head in frustration for a moment before rolling onto his back and kicking Centurion with his other leg! One hit finds a mark on his chin as Cent staggers backwards.
Peter manages to get to his feet as Centurion rushes over and tries to take him down at the legs. Peter instead catches him with an elbow to the back of his head. Centurion staggers backwards as the Universal Champion rushes towards him and leaps up before twisting in air for the slingblade!
Centurion is folded over in half as Peter quickly rolls him up to his feet and springs off the second rope towards him for a flying body press! As they slam to the mat, Peter hooks a leg!
ONE…
TWO…
KICKOUT!
HHL: It looks like the burst of energy caught Centurion off guard!
PIP: That’s how Peter is the Universal Champion! He catches people off guard with his quickness!
Peter grabs Centurion by his arm and locks that arm in before reaching up and locking around his face with a crossface! Peter wrenches back on the hold as Centurion is looking for an escape. Vaughn wrenches back on the hold some more as the exasperating gasping is heard from Centurion.
But Centurion times it with Peter and rolls backwards into a pinning predicament!
ONE…
TWO…ROLL OVER!
Peter rolls himself forward, cinching the hold on once more, but this time Centurion is able to get a hand between his face and Peter’s hands. With this, Peter can’t seem to quite get a good hold on. Centurion begins pulling Peter’s hands apart with another test of strength. Centurion pries his fingers apart, but Peter releases the hold and drives a knee into the back of Centurion! He cries out in pain but scoots himself towards the ropes and grabs on.
Peter steps back as the referee urges him to do so. Centurion slowly pulls himself up on the ropes, taking every moment he can get. Finally, the referee moves as Centurion leaps forward and nails a running Busaiku flying knee!
BLOODY SYMPHONY!
Peter slams to the mat as Centurion quickly leaps into the pin!
ONE…
TWO…
Th-KICKOUT!
HHL: Whew! That was a close one for Peter!
PIP: Yeah a second later and Centurion would’ve had a victory over the Universal Champion!
Centurion staggers to his feet as he examines Peter before grabbing both of his legs and giving a nod. He rolls him over slowly, but Peter is fighting it! Centurion has won many matches with his finisher, but Peter quickly flips the other way sending Centurion flying into the corner. However Centurion catches himself there. He turns around and moves towards Peter, but Vaughn leaps up!
HURRICANRANA!
Centurion is slammed into the second turnbuckle as his body just crumples there. Chris Page nods and slams his hand on the mat in approval. Peter staggers back to his feet and pulls Centurion away from the corner. He pulls Centurion close before spinning him out and back in for a ripcord DDT!
THE KEY HOLDER!
Centurion’s face slams into the mat as his whole body just crumples. Peter Vaughn staggers back to his feet. He rolls Centurion over onto his back before climbing the top rope. He motions for the ending before leaping off for a top rope shooting star leg drop!
THE PLUNGE!
IT HITS!
THE MAT HARD!
Centurion managed to roll out of the way at the last second. Chris Page looks shocked on the outside. He reaches underneath the ring and pulls out something.
HHL: Is that a mop?
PIP: Of course it’s a mop! Peter Vaughn is about to clean his clock!
HHL: Ugh.
Centurion spots this as well as he goes over and grabs the mop from the ground, but Page is holding the other end! A tug of war begins to happen as the referee steps in between the two of them. The referee begins yelling at Chris Page before pointing towards the exit. Page releases the mop and gets up on the apron and begins yelling and arguing with the referee.
Centurion turns around right as Peter is leaping from the second rope with a springboard dropkick!
Centurion is sent sprawling backwards which bumps him into the referee into Chris Page! Page is sent flying off the apron. Peter quickly gets up, with mop in hand, and swings!
DIRY MOP HEAD TO THE FACE!
Centurion staggers backwards as he’s clutching at his eyes. Peter quickly gets behind him and leaps up for….
REVENGED!
The Zig Zag connects in a big way as Centurion is folded over halfway! Peter quickly holds him down!
ONE…
TWO…
THREEEEE!
Winner by pinfall: Peter Vaughn
Peter Vaughn gets to his feet as the referee hands him his Universal Championship. Chris Page slides into the ring as he grabs the mop and drops it on top of Centurion. He holds up Vaughn’s hand as they celebrate.
This promotional video is paid for by the Ga(y)la Foundation
is THIS Thursday night….LIVE from one of the BEST cities in the world-
CHICAGO!
Annnnnd
SEE! The Rubester and the the Medium Size But By No Means Too Small Double Bs fight in perhaps THE biggest match in the tournament!
SEE! The #CapedHotboi fight the #MaskedBlob!
SEE! Tommy probs get squished by the newly-entered Short Money Oswald!
SEE! The MAGA's weird old manager (I think?) dude fight an undead phallus from Ruby's bedroom!
SEE! Initials get back into this thing with a gimme win over Vinnie's latest hire through that governmental program where they pay you to employ homeless people!
SEE! "Too Weak for no u" to get an automatic W over the Robin to my Batman (guess who the Catwoman to my Batman is? #TopicalReference) because casts are freakin' LAME
.....................................
And in the MAIN EVENT of the evening!
SEE! Elijah successfully defend his title against some singer...or something...while also proving that, just because you hold the title, doesn't mean you're the Champion of Anarchy.
Oh! And some Minis will be on the show. I guess? Honestly, I'm not really clear on that. Like, are ALL of them Minis? Mini Morbid is, obvs. But is that a Mini Soldier, and will we have a Mini Satan for him to worship to over and over and over and over again to the point where literally ALL of his work has become shit? A Mimi Myst, maybe, so that we can have a MINI version of someone blatantly ripping off other people? A Mini of La Reina to...um...just kinda do stuff without axly doing anything? Ya know what, it's all confusing. I'm probably just gonna go get a drink after I break down the card in the beginning and kinda skip that match. ngl, it might behoove you all to switch over to Bob Ross for a bit after the intro and then come back after he's painted some lovely, happy trees.
Tune in on Thursday for all this….AND MORE! And remember, keep your….
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