The Backstory


For the uninitiated Theo Pryce might seem like your stereotypical silver spoon fed arrogant white guy whose status is the result of winning the birth lottery and not because of anything he did on his own. And you know what? You’re Goddamn right. Theo Pryce absolutely benefitted from being born into a family with money. Why should he apologize for that? He didn’t ask to be born into that family anymore than a poor person asks to be born into theirs. Just because you are born into a certain circumstance does not mean it has to define you. Theo Pryce did not allow the legacy of his father Thomas Pryce to define him.


Let’s go back in time a little bit to give some backstory on how Theo Pryce became the B.A.M.F. that he is today.


Theo was born to Thomas and Caroline Pryce. Thomas was the founder and CEO of Pryce Industries based out of Phoenix, Arizona. A modest company that was ahead of the curve when it came to providing “green energy” throughout the United States. Theo was raised to be the heir apparent to Thomas. Theo was never given a choice in this. He was treated as if he was born simply as a vessel to carry on Thomas’s legacy. While this provided Theo with the avenues and opportunities to help set him up for later in life it also made him bitter and resentful of his father. Add to it that Theo was forced to work with a woman named Erica Rayner, someone Thomas Pryce spent a lot of time mentoring and molding into being Theo’s right hand. Again a choice made without Theo’s input and yeah, bitter.


Thomas Pryce died under mysterious circumstances(Theo shot him) and as such Theo took over as the new President and CEO of Pryce Industries. Shifting the companies focus seemingly overnight from green energy to becoming another cog in the ever expanding military industrial complex. Pryce Industries went from a company that made millions to one that made billions because Theo Pryce recognized the unfortunate truth that as long as man exists, War exists. And there is no greater way to profit than from war.


Of course as anyone with money knows, the more you accumulate the more bored you get with life. Whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness obviously never had any of either because money buys you anything and everything you could ever want. Those things give you happiness. For some it’s collecting cars or buying boats. For Theo it was finding other ways to succeed in life. Some might call that ambition but with Theo it was arrogance.


Fast forward to September 2013 when Theo Pryce signed his first professional wrestling contract with the XWF. Theo didn’t know how to wrestle professionally. Theo didn’t know how to wrestle amateurly. Theo didn’t know how to wrestle at all. But Theo sold himself to the company as a professional wrestler nonetheless and two months later Theo Pryce was holding the company’s top prize. In 60 short days Theo Pryce went from the greenest professional wrestler the world had ever seen to literally King of the XWF. King. Of. The. XWF. Let that marinate for a second.


Theo didn’t just break open the doors of the XWF and declare his arrival, he blew them open with a tank made by Pryce Industries. He took the XWF by storm, winning all the titles, taking out multiple top champions as well as leading the winning side in the XWF’s civil war along side his half brother Sebastian Duke. All of this during his relatively short journey from rookie to legend.


And then like rich guys won’t to do, he got bored with his new toy and left the XWF for different challenge outside of the wrestling industry only to return two years later when current King of the XWF and one half of the tag team champions Doc D’Ville gave Theo and call and asked if The Kings would return one more time to help him defend the tag titles as his previous partner had vanished.


Theo thought about the offer. Called up his friend and confidant, fellow King John Samuels to get his thoughts and then called up the XWF’s first King and Theo’s mentor, John Madison to get his. The three agreed that one last run as The Kings was the smart play but they also knew that current XWF Head Honcho Vinnie Lane had a hard on for The Kings. He hated them. All of them. And so if they wanted to do what The Kings are known for which was domination and chaos then they would need to change the status quo.


Theo through connections he made as the CEO of Pryce Industries reached out to a team of investors who currently owned 40% of the XWF. Through some hard negotiations Theo was able to acquire that 40% and thus became a part owner of the federation. But 40% wasn’t enough. Not against Vinnie Lane’s current 50% and that’s when John Madison in probably his only moment of lucidity of the last 8 years provided Theo and the rest of the Kings with the break they needed. John Madison was the current power of attorney of the previous owner’s remaining 10%. John Madison signed that 10% over to Theo for a lifetime supply of Taco Bell.


And so in April of 2017 Theo Pryce, John Madison and John Samuels returned to the XWF to stand alongside Doctor D’Ville. The next few months would be a whirlwind as the The Kings not only successfully defended the tag team titles but they would also win the Trios titles for a second time. This time though the trios titles would be retired for good. The Kings would go into the record books as the first and only team to hold them twice. When The Kings got tired of defending the tag titles and when it was proven that no one in the XWF could beat them Doctor D’Ville did the charitable thing and he hosted a show where the winners would walk out the new tag team champions. And so ended the storied wrestling career of The Kings.


Doctor D’Ville would continue to compete here and there when he felt the call. John Madison went off and did whatever it is John Madison does and John Samuels got back into politics leaving Theo Pryce to begin the next chapter of his life as one half of the XWF Ownership team and constant thorn in Vinnie Lane’s side.



The True Story



The exit hatch to the modest private airplane opens up moments after coming to a complete stop on the Henderson Executive Airport tarmac. The first person off the plane is Theo Pryce, naturally. Followed by Vinnie Lane, Doc D’Ville and a clearly annoyed Gator.


“Let’s go Todd!! You must be taking the piss if you think I’m not gonna miss the titty show because you got drunk on a 75 minute flight. Who even does that?”


“Cut him some slack dude. It’s his bachelor party. Probably the only one he’s ever gonna have.”


“Whatever. Where the hell is our ride Theo? You promised us nothing but the best for my boy Todd. TODD!!! COME ON!!!”


Gator yells towards the private jet.


”Wait for it…”


“Wait for what? What the F am I waiting for? TODD WHAT THE FUCK!!! LET’S GO!”


”That.”


Theo says as he points towards a black helicopter that is slowly descending downwards towards them.



“So you had us get off one plane just to get on a helicopter?”


”That’s right.


“The environment hates you Theo.”


”I’ll be long dead when this planet finally burns. Too late to turn back now.”


Lane sighs as the helicopter touches down on the cement.


“Why couldn’t we just take a car Theo? Vegas isn’t even that far away. I can see it from here.”


Lane says as he points to the small city off in the distance. It’s so close you could probably make it there in 20 minutes traveling at a moderate rate of speed in most cars.


”Because Gator said he wanted only the best for his best friend Todd and private jets and helicopters are the best.”


“I didn’t say that but I’m not complaining.”


Gator says as he picks up his bag and heads towards the copter.


“I swear to God Theo if you Kobe me I’m going to haunt you in the afterlife.”


”Pretending for a second that I believed in the afterlife, I very much doubt you and I would be going to the same place Vin.”


The group waits around a little while for Todd before finally taking off in the helicopter with Theo sitting in the co-pilot seat. An action that only seems to startle Vinnie which may have been the intention.


“Theo have you been keeping up on your flying hours?”


Theo’s fellow King and former tag team partner Doc D’Ville asks as he peers out the window at the Vegas stripe which is getting bigger with every passing second.


“I have but mostly because the requirement is ridiculously low. It’s an hour of flight and an hour of ground training. Honestly the bigger headache is making sure I keep up with my medical records.”


“I see. So where are we going first Theo? Did you bring a copy of the itinerary for all of us to have?”


”Itinerary? Do you think I’m some kind of nerd who maps everything out and tracks his budget on an excel spreadsheet or something?”


“No. No. Of course not. Why would I or anyone ever think that?”


Doc D’Ville says as he looks around at the rest of the passengers on the helicopter to see Lane and Gator both rolling their eyes in silent agreement with Doc’s unspoken accusation.


“First we are gonna head to the hotel to drop off our stuff. I rented out the entire top floor at the Bellagio then we have dinner reservations at Andiamo’s.”


“Andiamos? Sounds kinda gay if I’m being honest.”


“If by gay, which you mean it has the best meat you can possibly put in your mouth in the Vegas area then yes, it is as gay as Elton John on pride day.”


“Hey you shut your Yankee cock holster. Elton John is a National Treasure.”


“Just like the Queen and her fabulous hats.”


“Naa fuck that thot. But seriously. Don’t talk shit on Sir Elton John again Theo I’m serious.”


“Alright Gator alright. I didn’t realize Rocket Man would get you so triggered. Anyway Andiamo is the best steakhouse in the city and the owner is a personal friend of mine so he is letting us rent out a private room. I have every intention of walking out of there with the meat sweats.”


“What the hell is the meat sweats?”


Gator asks inquisitively.


Theo, realizing that Gator being British means he doesn’t engorge himself on food the way Americans do, turns around from his seat at the front of the helicopter to explain what the meat sweats are to his uncultured friend.


“So you literally eat so much meat that you sweat? Seriously?”


“Like a Catholic Priest at a Boy Scout Camp.”


“You’re going to hell Theo.”


“Yeah I am Lane. But not for that I promise you. Anyway we are about to touch down here in a second so make sure you grab all your shit and Todd.”


“Speaking of shit: MacBane not to be confused with his superior Simpsons counterpart McBain; then again they are both two-dimensional. I had the displeasure of looking at one of this cunt’s promos and by fucking god was it the most generic shit I have ever fucking seen. Do you know what he did?”


Gator poses the question to the group and eagerly awaits a response.


“Did he get to the fucking point?”


Gator points in Theo’s direction, a wry smile creeping on his face.


“Sadly, no, but that was good. He made a training dummy based on his opponent in 2021!”


Chuckles fill the cabin? Is it a cabin in a helicopter? Whatever.


“Now that is adorable.”


Lane reminisces.


“I remember the first time I did that, I was so young and foolish.”


“Yeah I remember my first time too! It was magical and awkward and forced; but this cunt throws one out at this point in his career? In 2021? Yeah I get the classics never die but sometimes you gotta bury the past, y’know? It’s like we’re fighting children, lads.”


“You realize by saying bury the past he’s gonna turn that on us?”


“Yes, it’s called a set-up you dickhead. I was gonna say his Fisher-Price shovel won’t be able to crack the ground we walk on as we tower over him like the monolithic legendary cunts we are and faceplant his nappy wearing ass into the mud to show him a real burial… Hey, Theo, Fysher-Pryce? You own that or?”


Theo just turns around giving Gator the stink eye as the Masked Manc laughs to himself pulling out his phone.


“Anyway, that isn’t the most embarrassing thing that happened in that promo, besides from his tendency to stand out of focus in hallways and the fact he thinks Walker Black is a good choice of whisky, Mackelless throws up this image on the screen.”


Gator shows his phone to the group.







“I edited out the link at the top of the image because I’m not political but apart from that it’s mostly the same as he put up. See, it’s a neat little skull with a cute rag around its mouth. Mac and Me probably thought this was super cool and badass not realising that he in facts looks like an edgy teenager who put racists comments on whichever site gives him the most free speech. This is a person who got his own team, this is a cunt who gets to headline a show against FOUR legends of the game, he is so good apparently, that his team is called Team MacBane… How dogshit must the other three be for that to happen? Like how much further does the ball drop?”


Silence for a moment.


“I’m asking a question here!”


“How the hell would we know? You just riff until you’re done.”


“Riff! I never riff, raff perhaps but riff? How dare you, sir.”


“Alright fellas. It’s a quick walk into the Bellagio. There should be a bellhop already outside waiting for us to take our stuff upstairs. I sent the hotel manager a text when we took off from the airport.”


The gang makes the short trek across the makeshift landing zone to the front doors of the hotel where sure enough there is a bellhop waiting with a luggage carrier and sign that says “Hot Todd”.


“Hot Todd. Nice.”


Gator says as he starts ruffling through his bag for something.


“I honestly have no idea what Todd’s last name is. Nor do I care. So I went with what I know. So anyway we are gonna follow this guy up to the room. You guys can drop your bags in whichever room you want. They are all virtually the same but I have no doubt you will still find a way to argue over who gets which one.”


“Why do you think so little of us Theo?”


“I don’t know Gator. Why do you think?”


“Well we can’t all be nobs like you Theo. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.”


“You say that but we literally just left Vinnie’s place in Malibu, Malibu, which is filled with the most self absorbed people on fucking Earth. And Doc, Doc has all kinds of money you just wouldn’t know it because he’s incredibly shrewd. So really what you are saying is that you are just jealous because you are poor and we are not. And that’s ok Gator. I have lots of poor friends.”


“Really? Name one.”


“Madison.”


“Ok fair enough. Name another.”


“You.”


“Fuck you Theo. I don’t even know why I invited you.”


“Honestly Gator neither do I. But you did and since I’m taking care of most of the arrangements you should probably start showing a little more gratitude and a little less attitude.”


“OH MY GOD. You did not just say that.”


Gator says with a look of absolute disgust on his face.


An awkward silence fills the air for the remaining time it takes the group to get to their floor in the Bellagio where they then quickly disperse to find their own temporary living quarters for the weekend.


After a few minutes Theo returns and after fixing himself a drink at the dry bar he proceeds to walk out onto the balcony to take in the bright lights of a city he called home for a few years after leaving his government job in D.C.


The first person to join him on the balcony is Vinnie Lane who comes out drinking some kind of bright red beverage.


“What the hell are you drinking?”


Theo asks as he takes a sip of his 35 year aged Scotch.


“It’s a Shirley Temple dude. You want one? They are delicious.”


“I’ll pass.”


“You know Theo I was wondering, how exactly did the XWF land the Denzel Event? I know it happened while I was taking some time off to travel the world with my fine ass woman but we never really talked about it.”


“Well Lane I assume it was because Denzel caught on to what you and I already knew which was that the XWF was the biggest and baddest bitch on the block. The fact that OCW tried to go to war with us only to get nuked back into the stone age certainly didn’t hurt. Nothing screams alpha male like a federation that not only kicks the shit out of their opponent but then as a parting gift takes their top singles champ, tag team champs and some other top tier talent. Sure Denzel could have gone with someone else, maybe someone that doesn’t have as colorful of a history of the XWF, maybe someone with a more clean image in the present but the truth is, at that moment in time we were the belle of the ball and Denzel is nothing if not a smart businessman. He knew that partnering with us and Fight gave instant credibility to his event. A lot of people saw Tara Fenix’s Charity Cruise a resounding success. I know I did. That’s why I closed the deal and brought her to the XWF. And now the entirety of the wrestling world has their eyes fixated on us. This is without a doubt the biggest thing to happen in the history of the XWF and it happened under our watch. And as much as it pains me to admit it, I am glad that we are able to share this moment together. Along with Doc and Gator. It just feels right, you know?”


“Wow Theo, that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. I honestly don’t even know what to say in response.”


“I don’t know why don’t you talk some shit about our opponents, that might help to get the taste of what I just dropped on you out of your mouth.”


“Oh man! I love this part! Can we talk about how Ken Davison looks like a testicle that grew a short body out from underneath of it? Or how Kyra Johnson looks like his granddaughter? Where the heck did those two meet anyway? Soccer practice? It sure as heck wasn’t a wrestling event, since that would mean Davison sold a ticket in his life, which is clearly not the case. I got it! Maybe he was a mall Santa and she sat on his lap to ask for her braces to come off one year? I dunno man, it just seems suspect to me. Who are the two others? Mac Bane? Is that, like, his real name? Or did he seriously have every name in the world available and decided THAT one was the winner? Like, wasn’t that the spoof action hero played by Simpsons character Rainier Wolfcastle? Now that I think about it… wouldn’t RAINIER WOLFCASTLE be a WAY cooler name? Also… is Mac… or Bane… what does he go by? I’m saying Mac. Mac is managed by Chris Page, right? OUR Chris Page? The dude whose entire legacy has a huge XWF in front of it? Lemme guess… Page will be one day away from retirement, and he’ll get gunned down by a drug dealer or something, and then MacBane will hold his fists in the air and yell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That sound about right? I hope they’re listening to this promo and taking notes because that tropey nonsense I just spat out in five seconds flat is better than anything I’ve seen come out of a Mac Boring promo. Who’s he plowing? I mean… who’s HIS partner? Amber Ryan, right? She’s not bad. A little long in the tooth I think, but hey, I’m no spring chicken. I just wonder what happened to her last partner? When she was in 4CW didn’t she have a dude named Danny or something? Is he dead? I’ve been watching a lot of “Buried in the Backyard” on Hulu lately, dude, it’s got me thinking this chick might have some sort of black widow tendency to roll her old partners under a porch or something once she gets tired of them. But look, she’s been successful in this industry. She’s won titles all over the place. No place all that good, but still, she’s managed to be less garbage than her competition. Right up until now anyways. What’s her big finish? Spitting in your face? Please. I used to wrestle people who used REAL Japanese mouth mist. That stuff stings! They don’t let you use that crap anymore, this chick’s just running around with a mouthful of Capri Sun or something. I’m looking forward to it, honestly, it’s delicious.”


Vinnie pulls a Capri Sun out of his fanny pack and deftly pokes the straw through the little metallic hole in one attempt before taking a long sip.


“Did you see that? First try. I’m a freakin’ ATHLETE, guys. Peak performance. This is the sort of ninjitsu precision I’m bringing into the ring for the Porter Show. And if Kyra and Ken think doing what a guy like Johnny Hitmaker tells them is gonna get them over the hump to where they can stand toe to toe with LEGENDS? Then I am not at all concerned about their ring work. No one GOOD would think “who should I ask for advice? How about JOHNNY HITMAKER?” Theo, we might get to just sit back and watch Johnny and Page slap fight each other like a couple of schoolgirls who showed up to a party wearing the same skirt. They’re having themselves a nice little Tweet-Off on the ol’ social medias these days. Probably can’t decide which one of them the longest list of ho-hum nobody names to their respective “brands.” Whatever. These four wannabes can stand in a single file line and get kicked down to size by my lucky silver boots, dude. Whatever kinda creepy wife swap situation they’re teaming up to engage in is none of my business, but between the two bells ringing, they’re just opponents to me. Did I mention that Ken looks like a nutsack? I did, right?”


“Wow! What I said to you must have really struck a nerve. That was some truly heinous stuff you just put out there into the universe. Do you feel better now?”

“A little bit yeah.”


“Great. Now let’s see what the rest of the guys are doing.”


Theo and Vinnie both leave the balcony and enter the main living space just as Doc D’Ville and Gator appear.


“Is Todd coming?”


Theo asks Gator as he finishes off his Scotch.


“Todd are you coming?”


Gator yells but receives no response.


“Fuck it. I’m hungry. He knows where we are going and he can meet us there.”


“You sure? This is his bachelor party after all.”


“No it’s not. Bachelor parties are about the friends the doomed groom is leaving behind. Tell him Theo. You’re the only married one here.”


“I didn’t have a bachelor party but what you are saying sounds right. Tell you what, I’ll write down the address and leave it for him.”


Theo walks over to a bar, grabs a pen and paper and writes down the address of Andiamo’s which he then leaves on a table in the center of the main living area.


“Todd, wherever you are, I left the address to the restaurant on the table here in the living area. Join us when you work through your drunken state. Don’t forget we have that show later tonight downstairs.”


“Can we go please? I’m fucking starving.”


“Indeed. I am a little famished myself.”


D’Ville says as he rubs his stomach.







The private room of Andiamo’s is well lit and well stocked with various types of alcohol. A real smorgasbord of booze. In the center of is a 12 foot table with 2 seats on each side, one at the head and an empty space at the far end of the table.


Standing in the room speaking with a young female member of his staff is Alberto Renaud, the current manager of the restaurant and friend of Theo’s. You see, a few years ago when Theo decided to start a new business that he has since sold, he chose Las Vegas as the location for the company’s headquarters. While Theo was working and living in Vegas he spent a lot of time at Andiamo’s enjoying their fine steaks and finer whiskeys. So much so that Theo and the restaurant’s manager struck up a friendship.


“Theo my friend, it's been too long. I am thrilled you and your party chose to dine with us this evening.”


Alberto says as he dismisses his employee and then makes his way over to Theo, extending his hand for the King of Kings to shake.


“Happy to be here Al. A couple of the boys have already said how hungry they are.”


“Right right. I will get Mickey out here with some of the appetizers immediately. Please head over to the bar where Stacy will be happy to fix you any drink you wish.”


Alberto turns around and at a rapid pace exits the room and vanishes out of sight.


“What are you doing?”


Theo asks as he looks over at Gator who is pressing his cell phone against his ear.


“Calling Todd to make sure he gets down here. I don’t want to be dragging that drunken asshole all around town all night. He needs to fill that belly of his with meat so he can keep drinking. I’m his best man, not his chaperone.”


“I think those are one in the same dude.”


Lane remarks before walking over to the bar and chatting up the bottle blonde bartender named Stacy.


“Todd you useless muppet get your ass down here to the restaurant now. Theo left the address on the table. Call me back.”


“Gator go save Lane from himself and get yourself a drink.”


“Good idea mate.”


As Gator takes his leave and walks over to the bar to join Vinnie and Stacy, the other King in the group Doc D’Ville steps forward to chew the fat with his former tag team partner.


“Hell of a group you assembled here Theo.”


“You know me Doc, I’m all about bringing the fun. And speaking of. Unlike these other guys you and I have actually gone to battle together on numerous occasions before and I have a feeling that this one is going to go exactly the same as all those others did. With us having our arms raised in victory.”


"This was a brilliant idea, my friend. With the XWF on the rise to heights it has never been before, this Denzel Porter fellow has chosen the best time to do something like this. We're at the heels of all of that OCW nonsense, which would have alone proven how dominant this fine federation is compared to the others. To have a three-day super card with peppered-in XWF superstars couldn't be any more perfect."


Doc smiles and gives Theo a single soft pat on the shoulder.


"Did I hear Mister Lane correctly earlier?"


Theo inquiringly looks over to the good doctor.


"Regarding….? What?"


"Chronic Chris Page smudging his greasy, greedy fingers all over yet another talent?"


"If you mean him and Mac Bane, then yeah."


Doc scoffs and shakes his head.


"That boy would do about anything for an ounce of credit, wouldn't he? What does he figure? If he stamps his name on everything around him that regardless how sour things go there's always a chance he has something good going elsewhere? A decent strategy, I suppose, but there's also a thing called spreading yourself too thin, am I right? I don't know what his grand scheme of things are, but depending on how smart this Mac Bane is it's only a matter of time that CCPE reveals it is for one person and one person only… and it's in the name."


"Look at last Warfare, Theo… Duke with Chris Page. Mark Flynn and North Korean War Criminal with Chris Page, Peter Vaughn with Chris Page… Ugh! Duke surprises me the most… Then again, it doesn't. Duke will do whatever it takes, work with whoever he needs to, and take whatever he has to take in order to get even the slightest step ahead and shine a little brighter. Would that be Mac Bane's story, too? Is that what this Team Mac Bane is? Lane already pointed out the fact that it's even called that... Maybe that's why Page took such a liking to him? Surround himself with similar or superior talent and slap his name all over it to take most of the credit. Do any of these people have eyes and ever look at things from outside of their little box and see how pathetic and weak it looks? That's one thing I can always give the four of us credit for, ya know? Don't get me wrong, we've had the Kings… I had the Asylum, once…. But we've always been our own men with our own plans. Our own paths that we cleared for ourselves BY ourselves. Especially Gator and Lane. From four separate directions we acted as the four pillars that kept what is the greatest federation of all time high and proud for close to a decade now and we continue to do just that by taking on this Main Event in what could be one of the biggest events to ever take place in this wonderful land of fighting in which we live. Bane, Johnson, Davison, and Ryan don't share what we share, good sir…. Regardless of whatever intimate relationships they hold outside of the ring we have scars from years of warring with each other that we've gifted one another that holds more of a history than any kind of love story that Bane and Ryan or Davison and Johnson can share. Our ties run deeper than engagements or wedlock and when we enter that Main Event on February 27th the four pillars we stand for will continue to hold, YET the weight of the xwf will crash down upon them with a force that will prove once again that there isn't one federation that can stand up face to face with this core that stand a whisker of a chance of victory…"


Theo and Doc reminisce for a few more minutes before Alberto reemerges from the back.


“Gentlemen. Gentlemen if you will please have a seat at the table, Mickey and her staff will be out here in just a moment to go over your options for tonight. With Mr. Pryce’s permission I put together a robust menu for this evening that I think you will all enjoy.


Most of the group sans Theo immediately go over to the table to take a seat. Theo however pulls a cigar out of his pocket and after cutting off the tip, lights the cigar which prompts a rather large man whose clothing indicates that he is part of Alberto’s staff to approach Theo almost instantly.


“Excuse me sir but you aren’t supposed to be smoking in here.”


Theo takes a few more puffs of his cigar while carefully crafting his response.


“Well men aren’t supposed to grow their own tits but there yours sit above that belly of yours.”


“Excuse me?”


The man says in a tone that denotes his quickly mounting anger and frustration as Theo continues puffing away on his cigar without a car in the world. The volume of the man’s words are enough to draw the attention of Alberto who quickly saunters over to see what the commotion is about.


“Is everything alright gentlemen?”


Alberto asks as he alternates glances between Theo and his employee.


“Absolutely Al. I was just educating your employee here on the benefits of a high protein and low carb diet while I enjoyed this nice cigar. Would you like one? I brought more than enough for everyone.”


“Thanks Theo but maybe another time. Mark, can I speak with you for a second?”


“But sir he shouldn’t be smoking inside the…”


“Just one second Theo.”


Alberto and Mark walk a few feet away from Theo, far enough away that Theo can’t exactly hear what they are saying but based on both of their expressions and Mark’s reactions Theo has a pretty good idea what’s happening.


When the short conversation ends Mark walks out of the room, tossing his black apron to the ground as Alberto walks back over towards Theo.


“Everything ok?”


Theo asks while taking yet another puff of his cigar.


“Unfortunately I had to terminate Mark’s employment. I can’t have that kind of blatant insubordination on my staff.”


“I completely get it Al. Rules are rules, without them society descends into Anarchy.”


“Exactly. And look I hate to be that guy but if you could finish up that cigar and put it out I would appreciate it. The last thing I need is for someone from the Health Department to show up and cause problems. You understand right?”


“Absolutely Al. Think nothing of it.”


Theo takes a few last puffs of the cigar before gently putting it out in the glass of water that was positioned at what one would assume was the guest of honor, Hot Todd’s seat at the head of the table.


“Gentlemen as I said I put together a special menu for this evening which Mickey is passing out to each of you now.”


Mickey, a slender woman with jet black hair and piercing blue eyes who appears to be in her late 20’s, early 30’s walks around the table handing out the one page menu to each of the 4 gentlemen seated at the table.


“Now I won’t read the menu to you but I will just say that each item on here has been hand selected by me. Some of them are even items that we don’t serve on our typical menu but as Theo knows if you come here often enough you can always ask one of our chefs to make it for you off menu.”


It takes a few minutes for the group to figure out their orders which they then give to Mickey one at a time. Starting with Theo and ending with Gator.


The guys shoot the shit for a little while longer, talk some strategy and even reminisce about the good ole days before their meals are delivered to their seats. Each one looking absolutely fantastic.


It takes the guys about 30 minutes to enjoy the meals. All appears right in the world but in reality everything is about to go completely tits up. It starts with Gator who is looking a little worse for wear.


“You ok dude?”


Vinnie Lane asks as he takes a sip of his own drink.


“Honestly I’ve felt better. That list drink hit me like a ton of bricks.”


“Well between what you’ve drank here, what you drank on the plane and what you put away at Vinnie's I’m surprised you're still standing. And speaking of still standing, where the hell is Todd?”


Theo asks as he raises his right arm motioning for the bartender Stacy to come over to take his drink order.


“You know Theo, come to think of it, I don't remember seeing Todd in the hotel suite.”


“What are you talking about? Of course you did. You saw him, didn't you Vinnie?”


“Not really. What about you Gator?”


“Yeah yeah mate. I definitely saw him.”


“You sure?”


“I need a trash can.”


“Trash can. Someone get this man a trash can before he vomits all over the table.”


Of course no one from the table actually moves an inch instead Stacy the bartender runs over with a small bull trash bin that she pulled out from behind the bar that she was stationed at. She hands it to Gator who bends over and immediately and violently starts exiting the alcohol soaked contents of his stomach.


“Gross.”


“Oh my gosh is everything alright?”


Alberto asks as he seemingly appears out of nowhere with a look of abject terror on his face. .


“He will be. I think he’s just had too much to drink.”


Theo remarks as he looks around the table to notice that Vinnie is also looking a little worse for wear. And that’s when it hits him…his head starts to spin, his stomach feels like it drops right out of him. Like he was only a quickly decelerating elevator that stops suddenly.


“What the fuck is happening.”


“I don’t know dude but I feel like I’m gonna be sick.”


Vinnie says as he starts looking around for something, anything to throw up in. Theo looks around the room, also for a receptacle for himself.


“My fault guys.”


Gator says in between heaves.


“Your fault? Your fault for what?”


“Well I thought it would be fun to spice things up so I kinda sorta dosed everyone’s waters.”


“You dosed everyone’s waters? With what?”


“A little a this, a little a that. To tell you the truth I'm not really sure. My drug guy gave it to me and said it will for sure fuck you up.”


“Are you kidding me? But your sick too. You dosed yourself? Who the hell even does that?”


“I didn’t know where anyone was going to sit so I dosed them all.”


Theo looks around the room as Gator and Lane continue to unload the contents of their stomachs. Theo then looks over at Doc D’Ville who remains stoic at his seat. He then looks at Doc’s glass of water which like theirs is also empty.


“Doc did you drink the water?"


“Yes I did.”


“And you are still perfectly fine? How is that even possible?”


“Do you even have to ask?”


“Fair point…”


Having no luck finding a trash bin Theo runs over to the corner of the room and starts vomiting in the base of a plant.


“Guys would now be a bad time to mention that I think we lost Todd?”


Doc D’Ville says as he pours himself some water from a carafe.


“What are you on about mate?”


Gator asks the good Doctor as he wipes his mouth.


“Well my friends I have been going over it in my head a few times and at no point do I ever remember seeing Todd in the hotel room with us. I know he was on the plane and I am reasonably certain he was on the helicopter.”


“He was definitely on the helicopter dude.”


Lane says in between heaves.


“But as far as the hotel room, I don't think so.”


“Are you saying we lost Todd?”


Theo asks as he looks around at all the fallen bodies.


“I think so Theo. I think we lost the groom.”


“So…”


Theo stops mid sentence, presumably to gather his thoughts as well as slowly make his way back over to the table.


“So not only do we need to find Todd in Vegas but we need to do it while tripping balls thanks to the masked moron over there.”


“Hey fuck you Theo. I was trying to lighten the mood a little.”


“And we have to do it in less than 24 hours? How the hell are we supposed to do that? I can barely see straight.”


“I think we have to split up. There are 4 of us so we can cover way more ground that way.”


“Honestly Lane that sounds like a terrible idea but I don’t have a better one so let’s go with that.”


Theo is the first one to get up from the table which takes way more effort than it probably should have, followed by Lane, Gator and lastly Doc D'Ville. Theo basically falls over trying to walk to the door but D'Ville happens to be just close enough to help keep Pryce upright and walking towards the exit.


Now “standing” out in front of Andiamo’s with full bellies are the heroes of this story.


“Alright fellas we all know the mission. We all feel like shit and again 1000 apologies for that. That’s my bad but we can do this. Oh and here are some barf bags for the road.”


Gator reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a few small paper bags that he stole from the restaurant. Each man takes a few before embarking on their journey in four different directions.