FROM THE MATTHEW KNIGHT ARENA IN PORTLAND, OREGON!
The Money Titans
(Big Money Oswald & Thias Watts)
- vs -
THUGS
(Tommy Wish & John Black) Tag Team Rules!
One RP Per Team!
Referee: Mr. Referee
Vita Valenteen & Latina Submission Machina
- vs -
O Bay T. Law & Bartholomew "Boots" Lichter Tag Team Rules!
One RP Per Team!
Referee: John X
HGH
- vs -
Jason Cashe X-Treme Rules!
Referee: Chaz Bobo
Barney Green
- vs -
Lord Raab Triple Tables Match!
The winner will be the one who puts his opponent through a table THREE times!
Referee: Mike Hunt
Ruby
- vs -
Arcana
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
Elijah Martin
- vs - Centurion Submission Match!
Referee: Ari Silverstein
BOOOOOM!!!!
Explosions rock the sky around Portland, Oregon… which is TERRIBLE because it’s the anniversary of THIS!
So Vinnie and the XWF are DEFINITELY going to have to talk to the FBI later on!
Oh crap, look who showed up!
It’s Cliven and Ammon Bundy! They must be here to occupy Anarchy! I bet they thought we were a bunch of Antifas!
Anyway, no one really cares what all these Q Qlux Qlan nutters think, so the drones quickly go back to scanning the audience and the outdoor crowds gathered near the arena. Frothing, excited fans cheer and jump around holding up various Anarchy related signs reading things like:
VITA WILL YOU MARRY ME???
FINAL FANTASY
MONEY TITANS 4EVA
VINNIE LANE SELLS DEAD BABY PARTS IN A PIZZA PLACE
Wow, kinda wish they skipped that last one!
The cambots scan the arena as pyro and lasers continue to whizz and bang all over the place, and eventually they find “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and his broadcast partner, the lovable Bama T. (with cute and cuddly Sassafras!) sitting at their announce table near ringside!
Vinnie Lane: “Welcome welcome! It’s the FIRST Anarchy of 2022, which makes this the beginning of YEAR FOUR! Who would have thought this little project would have made it this far, Bama?”
Bama: “It’s amazin’ baby! I remember the very first show back in April of twenty-nineteen! A couple people from that show are in action here tonight too!”
Vinnie Lane: “Absolutely! John Black and his partner Tommy Wish, the THUGS, are taking on the Money Tiitans in just a few minutes! And later on, the THREE TIME Anarchy Champion Ruby will go against Aracana, who really made a statement on our Christmas Special against John Caedus!”
Bama: “I’m lookin’ forward to it, baby! Not only them, but Vita and LSM against them MAGA boys, Booty Licker and Master O’Bate!”
Vinnie Lane: “I don’t think that’s their name, Bama, but we’ve also got Jason Cashe going up against HGH in an X-Treme Rules contest, and Barney EFFIN’ Green taking on Raab in a TRIPLE TABLES match! All that PLUS the Anarchy title is on the line as Centurion defends against Elijah Martin for the second time! Martin is hoping his luck is better than at Bad Medicine!”
Bama: “Elijah thinks he had that match won but Cent retained because of the stipulation… and he might be right!”
Vinnie Lane: “All that plus a HUGE update on the new MADNESS brand! But for now, that’s enough from us, folks… let’s go to the ring!”
The Money Titans
(Big Money Oswald & Thias Watts)
- vs -
THUGS
(Tommy Wish & John Black) Tag Team Rules!
One RP Per Team!
Referee: Mr. Referee
Oswald and Thias are at the stage, where they are mean mugging the camera as they walk down to the ramp. Then they scare the fans, and they enter the ring as they stood there menacingly as their theme cuts off.
Vinnie Lane: "These are two tough men, Bama. They looked impressive last time!"
Bama: "Sure did Vin-Man! These guys are BIG!"
As the THUGS theme is playing on the X-Tron, neither guy has come out as Oswald and Thias looked on with rage. The theme plays a second time, but nobody comes out as the fans start to boo within the arena in anger. Then the camera pans in the audience, and we see the THUGS come out from the crowd on opposites side with trash can full of weapons, as they hopped over the barricades, Oswald and Thias kept looking at the entrance way. Then JB and Tommy toss a garbage can full of weapons and they start attacking them with a Kendo Stick.
Tommy then starts to wail on Oswald with the stick, as JB kept on hitting Thias on the calf to make him kneel. JB then drop the stick, and pulls up a hockey stick and he whacks Thias in the back with it, and he strangles Thias with the hockey stick. Then Mr. Referee rings the bell for the match to start, as the THUGS keep wailing Oswald and Thias with weapons.
Vinnie Lane: "This bell had barely even rung, and Tommy and JB are going at it with Oswald and Thias with weapons. I guess they are "beefing" with one another in the streets of Portland here tonight."
Bama: "I agree Vinnie, let's see how this plays out here. This is going to be fun brawl."
Thias manages to get on his feet, and he takes the hockey stick and breaks it over his knee. Then he starts to chop JB in the chest, he kept on doing it until he got into the corner. Then he gives JB a super stiff Chop to the chest as he kneels on the floor. Thias then taunts his muscles to the fans, and he tags in Oswald. Then they both Irish Whip JB to the ropes, and connect with a Big Boot. Oswald then hits a Knee Drop on JB. Then he runs to the ropes to hit another Knee Drop, but JB moves out of the way.
JB quickly gets back on his feet, and eats a Shoulder Tackle from Oswald. JB then bumps and feeds for another Shoulder Tackle, but then JB ducks the fifth tackle and Elbows him in the jaw. Then JB hits a Standing Elbow on Oswald, then he whips him to the ropes and he misses a Clothesline as Oswald bounces back Flying Shoulder Tackle onto JB.
Vinnie Lane: "Man Oswald is really putting up his strength against JB here tonight!"
Bama: "Oswald isn't letting up JB in this match, just with his sheer strength alone."
JB then moves to the corner, and tags in Tommy, then Oswald tags in Thias. Tommy and Thias come face to face albeit one’s short then the other, then Thias punches Tommy in the face as Tommy spun around as looked into the ceiling. Thias jabs him again, and Tommy stumbles around the ring, then Thias tries to hit a Big Boot but Tommy ducks and donkey punches his family jewels. Mr. Referee catches that and reprimanded Tommy, which he ignores and he goes to Thias to lock in a Headlock, but Thias Back Rakes Tommy. He then hits a High Angled Back Suplex on Tommy. Thias then goes for the pin..
1!
2!!
THR— KICKOUT!
Vinnie Lane: "Man, that was close call for Tommy! With a man of that height, no man should be able to kick out of that move!"
Bama: "Even I wouldn't be able to imagine myself kicking out let alone being able to get myself up from that move."
Thias then gets in Mr. Referee’s face ove the three count. JB secretly handed Tommy something, when Thias came up to Tommy, he lifted him in a Chokebomb position, and he spit some Red Mist on Thias’s face. As it blinded the monster, Oswald then tried to come into the ring but Mr. Referee stops him. Then JB and Tommy stomp on Thias, then Thias gets on his feet with rage in his mist face, and he starts punching on Tommy and JB at the same time. JB get’s a Big Boot that rolled him outside, as he Khali Chops Tommy in the head.
Thias then drags the lifeless Tommy to his side, and tags in Oswald. Thias places Tommy on their corner, and they prepare to hit a Hesiod's Poetry in Motion, but Tommy rolls out of the way as Oswald lands face first on the mat. Tommy then tags in JB, who was on fire as he hits various amounts of Clothesline on Oswald, and even connects with a Vertical Suplex. He then runs to the ropes but Thias punches JB in the back of the head. JB and Thias almost went at it, but Oswald finds an opening and Roll Up JB for the count…
1!
2!!
THR–KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh man, Oswald that he had JB for a second, but knowing what I know about JB is that he ain't the type to to uhm..be caught slippin'... sorry Roxy, for my urban slang."
Bama: "Caught slippin'... might as well get on urban dictionary later on tonight to know what that means, Vinnie."
Oswald starts to throw a temper tantrum at the ref, as JB looked at Thias. Then both men started to throw live rounds at one another, until Tommy came to break it up. Then Oswald grabs Tommy by the hair and starts throwing live ones as well towards Tommy. Then it turned into all out brawl in the ring, where the Mr. Referee couldn’t do anything about it.
About ten minutes later, we see JB and Oswald in the ring as Thias and Tommy are on the outside brawling with one another into the crowd. The camera cuts to see Thias hitting Tommy with a popcorn bucket, then Tommy strikes him back with a fan’s beer bong to his dome which causes him to roll back the stairs to the barricade. Then it cuts back to Oswald locking JB in a Chinlock, as he was struggling to reach the ropes, Oswald locked it in tighter. Then suddenly the Oregon crowd started to chant “JB” and “THUGS” at the same time, which awoken JB.
Vinnie Lane: "These fans are on the side of THUGS here tonight! Lets see how this all play out here."
Bama: "I mean, just look at Money Titans... they need the support against these huge men. They better soak it in!"
JB then slowly gets on his feet, and he elbow's him in the gut, and he hits a Snapmare on Oswald. Then he starts to punch him in the gut with various haymakers, which ends with a mean Uppercut. Then he lifts up Oswald, and he tries to go for a Blacklisted but Oswald ends up giving him a Backslide for his troubles..
1!
2!!
TH–KICKOUT!
Then the camera cuts to Tommy and Thias back at the ring floor still brawling. Then Thias slams Tommy to the barricades, then he slams him to the steel steps. Thias charges at Tommy on the steel step, but he moves over as Thias takes a bump on the floor. Then the camera cuts to Oswald Irish Whiping JB to the ropes, and hitting a crisp Double A Spinebuster. Then Oswald goes to the top rope, and he taunts the audiences, who boo him. As he stands on the top rope, Tommy nuts Oswald on the top turnbuckle, as Oswalds was in pain.
JB then slowly gets on his feet, and goes where Oswald is, he slowly gets to the second turnbuckle. Then JB places him on his shoulders….
Vinnie Lane: "Oh snap, what happening with JB up there?"
Bama: "I think he's going to hit something crazy up there, Vinnie!"
FLYBY BLACKLISTED!!!!
"OH MY GOD OSWALD AS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF BY JB!!!!"
JB then slowly covers Oswald in the middle of the ring…
1!
2!!
THIAS BREAKS THE COUNT!!!
He drags Ozzy into their corner and then tags himself in, and Tommy Wish races in to attack him even though he isn't the legal man!
Tommy gets caught in a goozle... choke slam from Thias Watts!
GOT SLEPT!!!
Thias stomps Wish into oblivion, but JB catches him from behind in a rollup! He's got the tights for extra leverage!
1!
2!!
OZZY BREAKS IT UP!
Oswald pulls JB up and off of Watts, and right into a big powerslam! Then he pulls Thias back to the corner and tags himself in, just like Watts did moments before!
Vinnie Lane: "This action is insane! What an opener!"
Oswald reenters the ring and grabs JB... POWERBOMB! Right on top of Tommy Wish!
Oswald with the pin!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Money Titans
Oswald pats Thias on the back, smiling to him.
"Good shit, man. I'm proud of how far you've come."
That's when Oswald grabs Thias and power slams him with authority before standing tall over Thias.
"I WANTED TO GIVE YOU FALSE HOPE, DUMBASS! I BUILT YOU UP, JUST SO I COULD DO THIS! "
He laughs loudly as he backs up and watches Thias trying to get up. He waits for the man to get up high enough before rushing in and performing a punt kick straight to Thias's skull, cracking it and leaving him bleeding and unconscious.
"Get your trashy ass out of my fucking ring, Thias, and consider yourself retired."
Vita Valenteen & Latina Submission Machina
- vs -
O Bay T. Law & Bartholomew "Boots" Lichter Tag Team Rules!
One RP Per Team!
Referee: John X
The bell rings for the next match, and out from the back steps O. Bay T-Law and Bartholomew Lichter, to instant boos from the crowd.
Vinnie Lane: "Here comes the Moral Army of Godly Americans. Not really being subtle about those anagrams."
Bama: "I don't know what an anagram is, but I'm looking forward to this one, baby!"
Team MAGA accosts various people on the way to the ring, all of whom are giving the two a thumbs down motion.
Vinnie Lane: "These two have a lot of confidence, but they're still looking for their first victories in the XWF."
T-Law and Lichter step into the ring and T-Law takes his police hat off, while staying in the rest of his full uniform, because of course he does.
Team MAGA looks up at the ramp with scowls on their faces as out from the back steps Latina Submission Machina and Vita Valenteen to a nice reaction from the crowd. Vita does a slight dance to LSM's music, but LSM just storms down the ramp with all business in her eyes.
Vinnie Lane: "I don't think Latina Submission Machina is in the mood for any games tonight."
LSM slides into the ring and immediately tackles Lichter to the mat. She lays some shots into him before T-Law can react. He's finally able to pull LSM off Lichter and throw her into the corner, before helping Lichter to his feet. Lichter crawls out of the ring, and the bell rings.
Bama : "What a hot start, baby!"
LSM runs out of the corner and dropkicks T-Law, who hits the mat hard. LSM pops back up and gets into a standing fight position as the crowd cheers the aggressiveness. As T-Law gets to his knees, LSM goes for another attack, but T-Law is able to pull Referee John X in front of him. LSM stops in her tracks, which is enough to allow T-Law to poke LSM in the eye behind the referee's back.
Vinnie Lane: "Oh, come on! That was as blatant as you can get."
LSM quickly turns and grabs her face, allowing T-Law to club her from behind. Vita reaches her hand out to go for a tag, but T-Law picks LSM up and tosses her into the opposite corner. T-Law quickly tags in Lichter, and the two begin stomping on LSM in the corner. After a five count from John X, T-Law puts his hands up and backs away. The referee and T-Law begin to argue, which allows Lichter to choke LSM with his boot, causing a massive boo from the audience. Vita steps into the ring and yells at the referee, which just causes him to turn his attention to Vita, and gives T-Law and Lichter some time to double stomp LSM.
Vinnie Lane: "John X is doing a horrible job keeping order around here."
In a huff, Vita turns away and steps back out of the ring, and T-Law quickly slides out of the ring, as well, before being caught by the referee. Lichter grabs LSM by the hair and pulls her to her feet, only to lift her and deliver a side slam. Lichter goes for the quick pin, but LSM immediately kicks out. Lichter grins as he picks LSM back up and tosses her into the ropes, but she comes back and nails Lichter with a cross body, causing both to hit the mat and the crowd to cheer.
Bama: "Vita needs to tag in badly, baby!"
Vita begins bouncing on the ring apron to try and get LSM pumped up. Both she and Lichter crawl to their perspective corners, and they make simultaneous tags. Vita, though, quickly nails T-Law with a close line, and then another, and another, before hitting him with a missile drop kick that sends him out of the ring. Lichter goes to pick T-Law up on the outside, but as they stand and look up, they see LSM diving over the top rope, taking them both out! LSM let's out a yell as she grabs T-Law and tosses him back into the ring.
Vinnie Lane: "Vita and LSM are proving to be a real formidable tag team."
T-Law gets to his feet, but is quickly met with a snap DDT by Vita. Vita quickly gets to her feet and delivers a double stomp to T-Law's chest, causing T-Law to yell and clutch his chest. He crawls to the ropes and Vita looks to deliver a knee, but T-Law pulls himself through the middle and top ropes, causing the referee to stop Vita. Vita points to T-Law and yells at the referee, but that one second allows T-Law to nail Vita with a thrust kick. Vita falls to the mat and T-Law immediately goes for a cover.
1!
2!!
Kickout!
An angry T-Law pounds his fist into the mat and stands up before grabbing Vita and throwing her into his team's corner. He tags in Lichter, who steps into the ring and begins thrusting knees into Vita. He whips Vita into the opposite ropes, which allows LSM to make a blind tag, unnoticed by Lichter. Lichter goes for a back body drop, but Vita leaps over his back and dives into T-Law, knocking him off the apron and sending the two of them flying to the floor below.
Bama: "Turn around, baby! Vita isn't the legal competitor!"
Lichter shrugs his shoulders before turning around, and is met with a springboard forearm, knocking him to the ground. Lichter grabs his back as he tries to sit up, but is grabbed from behind by LSM, who locks in a dragon sleeper! It doesn't take long before Lichter taps out, giving Vita and LSM the win!
Winners by Submission - Vita Valenteen & Latina Submission Machina
Vinnie Lane: "Once the Machina locks one in, it's all over! Maybe they can get Cyber Ninjas to try and overturn this result?"
Bama: "THEY GOT NINJAS!?!?"
Vinnie Lane: "Sigh... Oh Bama..."
HGH
- vs -
Jason Cashe X-Treme Rules!
Referee: Chaz Bobo
Vinnie Lane: "Alright wrestling fans, welcome back to Thursday Night Anarchy. Next up we have an XTreme Rules match featuring two relative newcomers to the XWF."
Bama: "C’mon, baby! You’re saying relative newcomers, but HGH has been making splashes around the XWF for a while now, and Jason Cashe is a professional wrestling veteran."
Vinnie Lane: "You never did lie, Bama."
Bama: "As far as you know, baby!"
HGH walks to the ring with very little characteristics.
The hymn-like hum vibrates through the area before Lauren Hill soundfully brings in the chorus. Jason Cashe comes out from the back, eyes covered in sunglasses. Looking around the arena at the live audience, his eyes stay hidden behind the shades. Taking a long drag off an air joint, Cashe howls up into the sky, a few fans howl with him..
Vinnie Lane: "Whoa! Check out Jason’s new nose ring!"
Bama: "My boy LOVES the bling-blang, BABY!"
Tig O’ Bitties: From Houston, Tejas by way of Decatur, Georgia.. A truly Troubled One they call DiOGee.. Jaaaassoooon! CAAAASHE!!
Stopping as the aisle turns to ringside, Cashe drags a foot creating an imaginary line. This is the line where when passed, the talking stops. He steps into a jog, leaping up on the apron onto his left knee. He stands, ducking under the top rope to enter the ring. Taking off the sunglasses as he enters, he rushes across the ring and launches them deep into the crowd. Growling a roar to the live audience, showing he was ready to scrap.
Chaz Bobo calls for the bell, but before it even rings, HGH has bulrushes Cashe with a running dropkick. The impact sends Cashe flipping into the corner. But to little effect! Cashe darts right back out of the corner and tackles HGH down with an aggressive crossbody. Cashe mounts HGH and starts slap boxing his face down on the mat before filling his ears with a pair of wet-willies.
HGH looks hurt, but Jason is relentless, he lifts HGH back from the mat and plants him neck first with his trademark UTI! It looks as painful as it sounds.
Rather than make the cover, Cashe slides under the bottom rope, and taunts at the fans near the guard rail. Before dusting them off with his hands, he turns and throws the ring skirt up on the apron. He fiddles under the ring for a minute before producing…
Vinnie Lane: "Jason has a brick, Bama!"
Bama: "And I doubt that’s the first brick he’s handled before!"
Vinnie Lane: "The man does look like a certified brick-layer."
Bama: "Don’t forget about the pipe, Vinnie-baby."
A smile comes over Cashe’s face. He slides back under the ropes and positions himself in the corner of the ring waiting for HGH to stand. Just as HGH finds his feet, Cashe charges him, smashing him in the skull with a running brick. The sight is hard to stomach.
Chaz Bobo’s eyes pop, his face turns white. He runs over and kneels before HGH. It doesn’t even take a second before Bobo stands and calls for the bell
Winner by KO - Jason Cashe
Vinnie Lane: "WOW! That ended a lot faster and a LOT more violently than I expected! We need to fill some airtime... let's go to commercial!"
Barney Green
- vs -
Lord Raab Triple Tables Match!
The winner will be the one who puts his opponent through a table THREE times!
Referee: Mike Hunt
"Realize" By AC/DC starts to play as the fans start booing. Out walks Barney Green. He slowly walks down the entrance ramp, handing each and every front row fan a pamphlet that describes the near infinite benefits of purchasing Barncoin. Most fans throw the pamphlets on the ground, but more than a few marks pull their phones out and start scanning the QR codes printed onto the pamphlets. Barney exhausts his pamphlets and walks to the ring. As he nears the steel steps Barney takes a look at the nearly half dozen or so tables set up outside of the ring. Barney smiles wide as he rolls into the ring. Barney stands resolutely near the center of the ring, unable to go into his proper corner because all four turnbuckles have tables resting on them at an angle!
Vinnie Lane: "Barney Green made a surprise comeback to the XWF last month, but some people are speculating that his reason for return may have to do more with cryptocurrency than with wrestling! Well, tonight is Barney’s chance to prove them all wrong as he’s booked in an extremely hardcore match against one of Anarchy’s most aggressive competitors. How do you see this one playing out, Bama T?"
Charlie Nickles: Bama T is taking his break, Vinnie! Sassafras needed to go take a shit after watching that last match, so he asked me to fill in for them! Haven’t you noticed me sitting next to you for the last five minutes?
Vinnie Lane: "Wait, what?! CHARlE?! What are you doing here?!"
Charlie Nickles: I just told you, Vinnie!
Vinnie Lane: "Well Charlie I don’t know what kind of deal you struck with Bama T but I’m telling you: you better not get involved in this match!"
Charlie Nickles: I wouldn’t dream of it, Vinnie- I’m just here to do my old friend Bama T a favor!
Vinnie Lane: "Bama T isn’t your old friend, you don’t even know him!"
Charlie Nickles: I met him five minutes ago when he said Sassafras had to take a shit. He slid me a fiver to cover him, so I think he’s one of my best friends now technically!
Vinnie Lane: "Jesus, dude….whatever, let’s just get through this…"
Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner in front of a table moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab looks ready for action tonight. This kind of match is right up his alley."
Charlie Nickles: Let me tell you, Vinnie Lane: this is the kind of match guys like Lord Raab will kill for- or kill people in, or whatever! This is going to be a great one!
Referee Mika Hunt calls for the bell and the match is underway!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Lord Raab charges straight at Barney Green with murderous intent! Barney sidesteps just in time. Lord Raab rolls through on his spear before quickly turning back towards Barney again- but this time, Barney Green pulls out a coupon for Barncoin that leaves Lord Raab dead in his tracks!
Vinnie Lane: "Barney Green isn’t doing much to dispel the myths about his return so far in this one…"
Charlie Nickles: This is all a part of a larger strategy, Vinnie, he’s getting inside of Lord Raab’s head now so that he can get all up in that ass later!
Vinnie: "Dude, work on your phrasing! You’re a professional commentator now, you have to think about what you’re saying!"
Barney Green motions for Raab to calm down and extends the 50% off Barncoin coupon in Raab’s direction. The crowd murmurs in confusion.
Lord Raab looks around at the crowd before settling his gaze back on Barney Green. Raab stares down at the much shorter Barney Green before chuckling softly to himself. Raab raises a fist up as if preparing to backhand Barney, but before he has time to release his cocked-back blow Barney Green kicks him right in the nuts!
Charlie Nickles: HA, TOLD YOU! I bet that wasn’t even a real coupon! There’s no way Barney would give such a great deal on Berncoin to a foreigner!
Vinnie Lane: "Berncoin? It’s called Barncoin, dude!"
Charlie Nickles: No it’s not, Vinnie! That’s just a common misconception. You’re just hearing Barney wrong when he pronounces the name of his coin! Everyone out there watching this match is going to want to go online right now and make sure they stock up on Berncoin, because they probably bought the wrong coin the first time!
Vinnie Lane: "What the hell are you talking about? Just focus on calling the match, Charlie!"
Barney Green punches Lord Raab in the face forcing Raab back to the ropes. The crowd boos heavily but Barney doesn’t care, he just charges straight at Lord Raab with a massive clothesline! Both men fly over the top rope and land roughly onto the floor below! Barney is the first man to his feet, and he wastes no time in delivering a few stomps to his downed opponent!
Charlie Nickles: Get him, Barney!
Vinnie Lane: "You’re supposed to be impartial, Charlie! That’s a commentator’s job!"
Charlie: Get your ass up and fight back, Lord Raab! Come on, kick Barney’s ass!
Vinnie Lane: "…what do you think impartial means, Charlie?"
Charlie Nickles: It means you play both sides so you always come out on top!
Barney Green walks away from Lord Raab and starts to search for something under the ring. More time than should be necessary passes by as Barney Green continues to search for the perfect weapon.
Vinnie Lane: "Barney’s spending a lot of time looking for something, I don’t know what it could be, all the tables Anarchy has are already set up for use!"
Barney Green stands back up with an entire rack of light tubes all duct taped together! Barney holds the light tubes high in the air and the crowd goes nuts!
Charlie Nickles: He was looking for his favorite toy! That’s my Barney!
Barney turns around….but Lord Raab is standing right there with a big fat grin! Barney goes to strike Raab with his weapon, but Barney is too slow! A headbutt to the face causes Barney to take a step back! Another headbutt to the face BUSTS BARNEY right open! A third headbutt to the face causes Barney to lean back against the ringside apron! A fourth headbutt to the face causes Barney Green to drop his light tube rack right outside of the ring! Raab grabs the bleeding Barney by the neck before DDTing him onto the rack of light tubes!
Vinnie Lane: "Barney Green took his eye off the prize and now his eye is probably covered with glass!"
Charlie Nickles: I had no idea this was how they made glass eyes, but now that I know, I’m sick to my stomach Vinnie!
Glass shards stick into Barney’s face and neck after the DDT! Lord Raab bounces right back up to his feet! Raab pounds his chest and shouts angrily before grabbing Barney’s hair and forcing the smaller man up to a standing position! Raab all but drags his bleeding opponent to the nearest table before grabbing his neck and lifting him into the air!
THE CHOKEINATOR THROUGH A TABLE!
Charlie Nickles: OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab just scored the first point in this match in INCREDIBLE fashion!"
Bloody Barney collapses through the table as Raab stands above him with rage filled eyes! The crowd is going nuts. Lord Raab starts walking away from Barney Green with his hands raised in victory…..until the referee calls his name out through the ropes! Raab turns back around and is reminded by Mika Hunt that this is, for some reason, a TRIPLE TABLES match! Raab shakes his head in annoyance before he starts walking back over towards Barney Green, who is now slowly crawling away from the collapsed table.
Charlie Nickles: Hey, Barney, come here!
Vinnie Lane: "Wait, Charlie, don’t get involved!"
Barney is slowly crawling towards the announce desk, leaving a bloody trail for Lord Raab to follow as he makes up the lost ground. Barney starts pulling himself up with the announce table.
Charlie hands something over to Barney Green.
Charlie Nickles: I’m not getting involved!
Raab reaches out and grabs Barney’s t-shirt…..
BARNEY SPINS AROUND AND SMACKS RAAB IN THE FACE WITH THE XWF TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!
Vinnie Lane: "YOU JUST GOT MAJORLY INVOLVED, CHARLIE!"
Charlie Nickles: I didn’t do anything! That ruffian Barney Green snatched the belt out of my hands! Your wrestler is out of control, Vinnie!
Lord Raab falls to the ground, seemingly KOed! Mika Hunt admonishes Charlie Nickles for interference from inside the ring, but it’s a no-dq match, so there’s nothing the referee can do! Barney Green hands the title belt back to Charlie before resting his arms on the table and taking a breather.
Vinnie Lane: "Jesus Barney, back away from the table! You’re getting blood all over everything!"
Barney takes a good deal of time to regain his breath and composure before wiping away a bunch of blood from his face with his own t-shirt. The shards of glass caught in Barney’s face rip his shirt as he tries to use it as a rag. Undeterred, Barney Green turns around and approaches Lord Raab. Barney pulls Lord Raab up to a standing position before slamming Raab’s head into the turnbuckle post! Barney pulls Raab’s head back and tries to slam it again, but this time Raab uses his forearm to block the impact! Then, Raab hits Barney Green with an elbow, and then another, and then another! The trio of elbows to the face forces Barney Green to release Raab and take a few wobbly steps back.
Vinnie Lane: "Quick thinking by Lord Raab!"
Charlie Nickles: Elbows to the face never fail!
Barney Green continues to wobble backwards, allowing Raab the chance to charge at him with a Lou Thesz press! Raab immediately starts laying into his now downed opponent with a flurry of lefts and rights! Barney’s blood starts spraying across Raab’s fists and upper body, but he shows no signs of slowing down…..until Barney Green grabs a nearby glass shard and shoves it deep into the side of Lord Raab’s neck! Raab immediately clutches his neck and rolls off of Barney Green!
Charlie Nickles: THIS IS AWESOME!
Vinnie Lane: This may be going too far…I didn't book a death match!"
Charlie Nickles: But not as far as BERNCOIN will take you! Go online and buy it or Barney Green will do this same shit to your necks!
Vinnie Lane: "SHUT UP ABOUT BERNCOIN, CHARLIE! JUST CALL THE MATCH!"
Barney Green and Lord Raab start crawling in opposite directions. Barney Green starts pulling himself up to a standing position as Lord Raab pulls the glass shard out of his neck. Barney Green goes to turn around, but his eyes are covered in a veil of blood! Barney Green tries to wipe the blood away, but he just ends up cutting his hands on the glass shards buried in his face!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh god, all that blood is going to ruin the floors of the arena….I hope they don’t keep our security deposit!"
Barney Green begins the painstaking process of removing the shards of glass from his head. Meanwhile, Lord Raab has crawled towards one of the tables set up outside of the ring. Raab rips off a piece of his own tights and uses it to make an emergency tourniquet around his neck. After stemming the bleeding and taking a few moments to collect his bearings, Lord Raab pulls himself up to his feet with the assistance of the table.
Mika Hunt looks at both Barney Green and Lord Raab with immense concern, but she’s powerless to stop this no-dq match! Barney Green has finally picked the glass out of his face, but now he’s realizing that has only made the blood flow over his eyes worse! As creative as ever, Barney Green takes his shirt off before tying it around his forehead like a samurai headband. Samurai Green takes one look at Lord Raab, who is barely standing with the help of a wooden table. Barney charges at Lord Raab, shirtless flubber and all! The ladies go wild!
Charlie Nickles: Look at him go! That’s what a real man looks like!
Vinnie Lane: A real out of shape man, maybe!
Charlie Nickles: This is what peak masculinity looks like, Vinnie! If you don’t like this, then you don’t like hot and sweaty men!
Vinnie Lane: "I don't know about you Charlie, but I like women!"
Charlie Nickles: That’s not what Graves said on Twitter!
Barney Green charges full speed ahead at Lord Raab!
SCOOP POWERSLAM INTO THE TABLE! BARNEY FLIES THROUGH A SECOND TABLE AS RAAB COUNTERS THE CHARGE JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!
The crowd goes nuts as the two bloody messes lay atop a second destroyed table!
Charlie Nickles: GOD DAMN IT! Come on, Barney!
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab has just taken a dominant two-to-nothing lead on the scorecards! That lead could prove insurmountable for Barney!"
Mika Hunt calls out for both men to see if they are responsive…Lord Raab slowly begins to stir. It takes a good deal of time for Lord Raab to pull himself out of the wreckage and up to a standing position. While on wobbly legs Raab walks to Barney and slooooowly, sloooowllly pulls him up to his feet. Raab then half-heartedly throws Barney Green into the fan barricade before placing his hands on his knees and pausing.
Vinnie Lane: "The Green Disease German Machine may be running out of gas here!"
As Barney Green slowly comes to life on the fan barricade, one of his marks from the audience hands him the very chair that he was sitting on! Another Barncoin investor injects a mysterious substance into Barney Green’s arm, and immediately the wrestler begins to look more alive!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh my god, what did those rabid fans just inject into Barney Green?!"
Charlie Nickles: Knowing the audience of this show, Vinnie, let’s just say it wasn’t a vaccine! My guess is either super-strength heroin or maybe it was liquified BERNCOIN, the most powerful cryptocurr-
Vinnie Lane: "This is a serious violation of XWF attendance policy!"
Charlie Nickles: Oh just let it go, Vinnie! You know Barney’s probably accidentally injected himself with way worse things before!
The bare chested Barney Green screams with renewed vigor as he charges off the fan barricade with the steel chair held above his head. He runs up at Lord Raab and brings the chair down on his head with as much force as he can muster. The chair dents and becomes unusable after one blow, but it’s done it’s job! Raab collapses back against the ringside apron before Barney Green quickly rolls Raab back into the wrestling ring.
Vinnie Lane: "Barney Green is taking the momentum here! He’s going to want to get in that ring and keep up the pressure!"
But instead of following Lord Raab into the wrestling ring, Barney Green instead heads towards a set of tables set up on the outskirts of the ring. He places one of the tables on top of the other. He takes a step back and admires his work, but then he places a finger on his chin and looks as if he’s in the middle of deep contemplation.
Charlie Nickles: It looks like Barney Green wants to even the score in one-go, that’s a brilliant idea!
Barney Green snaps his fingers together before walking back up to the ring, but instead of getting in the ring itself Barney just reaches beneath the ropes and grabs one of the tables leaned against the corner. Barney slides the table under the bottom ropes before tucking it under his arm and walking it over towards his double-stacked table.
Vinnie Lane: "He’s not trying to even the score, Charlie…..he’s trying to win this match outright by stacking three tables on top of each other!"
Barney Green opens up the legs of the third table and places it on top of the other two. Barney Green steps back and nods as he smiles at the triple-stacked tables outside of the ring. Barney Green confidently turns around before he finally rolls into the ring….
And is immediately stomped repeatedly by an expecting Lord Raab!
Charlie Nickles: Barney could be in trouble here, Vinnie! Lord Raab is one of the most aggressive fighters I’ve ever seen! He doesn’t stop pressing his advantage until you force him to, and Barney’s in no position to force anything right now!
Lord Raab continues to stomp on the smaller man as Barney Green tries to roll and dodge towards freedom. Raab stays on him the whole way! Lord Raab grabs Barney Green before lifting him up into the air for a huge suplex! Raab rolls off of Barney Green and makes his way towards one of the tables leaned against a turnbuckle. Raab grabs the table and pulls it away from the turnbuckle before he starts setting it up in the middle of the ring.
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab could be going for the win here!"
Lord Raab finishes setting up the table before he walks back over to Barney Green. Raab grabs Barney and begins dragging him over to the table…but Barney isn’t going willingly! Barney hits Raab in the gut with an elbow before stomping on his foot! This forces Raab to release Barney Green. Barney sprints away from Raab before bouncing off the ropes and coming back at Raab with a flying superman punch! Raab collapses to the ground as Barney Green falls to one knee.
Charlie Nickles: What a fucking punch! He damn near took Raab’s head off!
Vinnie Lane: "Barney Green and Lord Raab are both laying everything on the line here tonight, but only one of these men can walk out victorious!"
Barney Green lifts Raab up to a standing position. Raab is wobbly and unable to defend himself as Barney kicks him in the gut and hits the Green Awakening (Ram-Paige)!
Charlie Nickles: AND BARNEY GREEN JUST HIS THE BIG-TIME MOVE!
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab could be in big trouble here, but remember- Barney Green has to put Lord Raab through THREE tables to win the mach, so one finishing move won’t be enough!"
Barney Green slowly gets off the ground before grabbing Lord Raab and leading him over to one of the empty turnbuckles. Barney Green climbs onto the turnbuckle with his back to the crowd before he lifts the larger Raab up to the top rope with him. Barney Green gives a bloody smile to the camera before positioning Lord Raab for a fisherman’s suplex off the top rope….
Charlie Nickles: THIS COULD BE IT RIGHT HERE, VINNIE!
Vinnie Lane: "Barney Green set up three tables on top of each other, and now he’s- oh my god he’s actually doing it!"
BARNEY GREEN LAUNCHES HIMSELF AND LORD RAAB OFF OF THE TOP TURBUCKLE!
BARNEY GREEN HITS HIS TRADEMARK FOLEYPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE!
BARNEY FISHERMAN SUPLEXES LORD RAAB THROUGH THE TRIPLE-STACKED TABLES OUTSIDE THE RING!
That's it! The referee calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Winner by Table Destruction - Barney Green
Vinnie Lane: "Barney Green did it! He actually did it!"
Charlie Nickles takes off his headset and stands up. He starts walking over towards Barney with a big grin.
Vinnie Lane: "Wait, Charlie, where are you going?!"
Charlie Nickles: I’m going to go celebrate with my boy! You should keep telling everyone to keep buying Berncoin while we're off popping molly!
Vinnie Lane: "I have never and will never tell anyone to do that, it's a terrible investment!"
Charlie Nickles jogs over to the scene of the carnage with the TV belt around his waist. He helps pick Barney Green up and the two men begin slowly ascending the entrance ramp to raucous applause from the audience. The medical specialists come rushing down the ramp to check on Lord Raab as he lays flat atop three broken tables.
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab gave it everything he had out there, but Barney Green was able to pull out the victory….with a lot of help…but still, an amazing performance nonetheless from both men! I just hope neither of these guys have to go to the hospital after that bloodbath....our insurance would make me pay for that!"
Ruby
- vs -
Arcana
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
Poke by Rubi Rose hits as the lights fade to almost black and start to flicker. Smoke fills the entranceway as Arcana slowly steps through and stands, hand on her hip surveying the crowd. She runs down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope, popping up to jump on the nearest turnbuckle, throwing her arms in the air as gold sparkling pyros shoot off. Her one arm is bandaged from a freakish bite earlier in the week.
Vinnie Lane: "Rolling right along, we got Arcana about to take on Ruby next!"
Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs hits now and the crowd comes to life as Ruby makes her way out. She waves to the crowd while hopping her way down to the ring in excitement. She walks over to a little girl near the front of the barrier and gives her a pair of snazzy sunglasses. She turns to head to the ring but Arcana suddenly comes flying off the ring apron and takes Ruby down with a double axe handle. The crowd jeers in disappointment as Ruby stumbles to the floor.
Vinnie Lane: "Not cool!"
Bama: Arcana getting the upper hand!
Vinnie Lane: "The match hasn’t even started!"
Arcana grabs hold of the stunned Ruby and pulls her up then she rolls her into the ring. Arcana slides in behind her and the HoloDotRef calls for the bell to get the match officially started. Ruby gets to her feet but Arcana is waiting and nails her with a big forearm. She hits another as Ruby stumbles back until she hits the corner. Arcana steps back and then jumps forward and hits a corner flip arm drag. Ruby hits the mat and rolls backwards.
Arcana stalks towards Ruby while she scrambles back and pulls herself up with the ropes. She uses a foot and pushes off the ropes, looking for a clothesline but Arcana ducks out of the way. Ruby races forward and bounces off the ropes, roaring back towards Arcana. She tries to grab her but Ruby spins into a head scissors takedown but Arcana reverses it and goes for a tilt a whirl back breaker. As they’re spinning, Ruby counters into a swinging DDT out of nowhere to the delight of the fans.
Vinnie Lane: "Counter after counter, look at these two go!"
Bama: Don’t get too excited, you know how frizzy that makes your hair!
The two women both start to get back up around the same time. Arcana loads up and goes for a spinning elbow but Ruby manages to block it. Ruby goes for a spinning heel kick but Arcana blocks that right back. The two lock up and Ruby manages to gain the upper hand as Arcana seems to be in pain with her wrapped arm. Ruby twists and then pulls her into a side headlock. Arcana wraps her arms around Ruby’s waist and tries for a back suplex but Ruby pushes her feet off the mat and uses the momentum to flip up and over Arcana.
Ruby lands behind Arcana and immediately hits a standing drop kick to her back. Arcana stumbles forward and crashes into the corner. Ruby goes to the opposite corner and then runs full tilt at Arcana. She leaps and goes for a running drop kick but Arcana dives out of the way at the last second. Ruby crashes and burns while Arcana stands back up and lines her up. Ruby gets up and Arcana fires off a super kick but Ruby rolls underneath and then jumps up and cracks Arcana in the face with a beautiful Pele kick. She quickly hooks the leg.
1!
2!!
Thr..NO!!!
Arcana gets a shoulder up just in time!
Vinnie Lane: "Close freakin’ call!"
Bama: Who ya gonna call?
Vinnie Lane: "What?"
Bama: What?
Ruby gets back to her feet and right away heads to the corner. She climbs up to the top rope while Arcana is still down. Ruby leaps off with a moonsault but Arcana rolls out of the way in time and Ruby slams onto the mat. Arcana pulls herself up and climbs to the top rope now. Arcana dives off with a corkscrew moonsault but it’s Ruby getting out of the way this time. Arcana crashes onto the mat while Ruby rolls to the ropes and pulls herself back up.
Arcana tries to get up while Ruby uses the ropes and slingshots herself. Ruby attempts a flying drop kick but Arcana side steps it. Ruby hits the mat and Arcana hits her with a standing shooting star press. Arcana gets back up and once again heads back to the top rope. Ruby starts to pull herself up and Arcana leaps from the top rope with a diving fameasser. Ruby counters it into a sit down powerbomb out of nowhere and goes for the pin.
1!
2!!
3…NO!!!
Arcana just barely gets a shoulder up as Ruby throws her hands up in frustration.
Vinnie Lane: "I don’t believe my eyes!"
Bama: You should get glasses.
Vinnie Lane: "I don’t need…will you stop dude!"
Both women remain down for a moment as the crowd begins to cheer Ruby on to get up. She stirs and then begins to get up while Arcana slowly rolls over and reaches for the ropes. Ruby pulls her up but Arcana shoves her off. She goes for a quick clothesline but Ruby blocks it and Arcana cries out in pain as it is her bandaged arm again. Ruby takes advantage and grabs Arcana then hits the Ruby Cutter to the delight of the fans.
Instead of going for the pin this time, Ruby heads back up to the top rope. She lines up for Ruby in the Rough but gets distracted as John Caedus is making his way down to ringside. The crowd boos as he yells at Ruby who yells back at him.
Vinnie Lane: "Now wait a minute here!"
Bama: I think we’re running out of time.
Vinnie Lane: "No! I’m talking about John Caedus!"
Bama: I thought it was Arcana versus Ruby?
Vinnie Lane: " …….. "
Ruby is focused on John long enough that Arcana starts to get up. Ruby looks back down at Arcana and jumps at her but Arcana avoids her. Ruby somehow lands on her feet but Arcana surprises her with a roll up. She sneaks both feet on the bottom rope for leverage.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Arcana
[/quote]
Vinnie Lane: "Holy CRAP! Arcana just took out Anarchy's top star! What an incredible victory for her!"
Bama: "Do werewolf girls do it doggystyle Vinnie?"
Vinnie Lane: " ...................................... Bama. Come on, man. We have business to attend to next."
The crowd in the Matthew Knight Center explodes as casually from the back steps Centurion. He has the newly minted IDL Championship over his shoulder, a clipboard in his hand, but a scowl on his face.
Bama: "The champ doesn't look happy to be here, baby!"
Vinnie Lane: "Centurion was announced as the general manager and champion of the new Madness brand two weeks ago. He hasn't spoken about it since, so I have no idea what he's going to say here tonight."
Centurion walks down the ramp and enters the ring. He grabs a microphone from the ring announcer before immediately speaking.
Centurion: "Alright, I'm going to make this quick because I'm in a bad mood tonight. I've had a lot of time to think about Madness and...well, this would be better if JJ was out here. JJ, come to the ring please."
Centurion gestures up toward the ramp and a confused JJ Dylan walks out from the back. He steps into the ring and looks at Centurion with a confused look on his face.
Centurion: "JJ, I know you've been putting in the leg work into making Madness a legitimate brand. You've spent a lot of time thinking about this belt and it's direction, and you've been looking for talent to fill the holes in the roster. There's a lot that goes into running a show, and honestly...I don't want to do any of that."
The fans give a murmur, but JJ smiles.
Centurion: "These past few months have shown me that my focus needs to be in the ring. I'm a wrestler. This management bullshit isn't for me. So, what I have in my hand right now...is a document that removes me as the general manager of XWF Madness."
JJ gives a fake frown before reaching for the clipboard, but Centurion pulls it back.
Centurion: "Hold up! There's a catch. I do have one act as general manager that I will be making before handing over the reigns of the brand. This title? I'm honored to be the first person recognized as champion, but I have enough on my plate as it is. So, as general manager of Madness, I am announcing that I am vacating the IDL Championship, and on the very first episode of Madness, we will have an eight person, single elimination tournament to crown the new champion!"
The crowd cheers the announcement as Centurion takes the IDL off his shoulders. He hands it, and the clipboard, over to JJ.
Centurion: "Let me introduce everybody to the participants in the upcoming Madness IDL Championship Tournament... which will take place later this month on the island of Vanuatu, right next to the international date line! Look at this talent... "The VIP" Chris Mosh... Lexi Gold... Molly Barnes... Elijah Coleman... Lil Juicy... and Splat! Superstar Sierra Silver!"
The new signees walks out single file and stand on the ramp waving or mugging for the crowd. Sierra Silver gets a sizable reaction and she soaks it in with a big smile on her face.
"LET ME MAKE SOMETHING PERFECTLY CLEAR!"
An angry voice comes from the back, and then a squat, round man with a microphone walks out with an intense look on his face - standing next to him is a towering Asian man who looks ready to do some damage.
"I am not going to just stand in the back while you ignore my man Hide, you big jerk! Announce him Centurion!"
Centurion: "Relax, John. I was saving you for last so you could make a grand entrance... looks like you got that covered, though. Ladies and gentleman, also in the tournament is someone I am very familiar with. Managed by the man with allegedly two brains, Johnny Hitmaker himself, former UGWC Champion, "The Strong Style Satanist" Hide Yamazaki!
Hide sneers and looks around at the rest of the competitors while Johnny smirks.
Bama: "Vinnie that's only seven people..."
Vinnie Lane: "Shhhh..."
Centurion turns his attention back to JJ Dylan.
Centurion: "I know you're sad to see me go, JJ, but I do think this is for the best of the brand."
JJ emphatically nods as he takes the clipboard and quickly signs it. He hands it back over to Centurion, and JJ has a giant smile on his face. Centurion grabs JJ's arm and raises it, causing the crowd to boo.
Vinnie Lane: "This sure is unexpected."
Bama: "JJ Dylan is getting exactly what he wanted! He has full control over Madness, baby!"
JJ turns and goes to step out of the ring, but Centurion raises the mic to his lips once more.
Centurion: "Hold on there, JJ. You're going to want to be here for this next part. See, since you're a dumb son of a bitch, I knew you would read the full contract. You have been in such a hurry to get rid of me that you didn't even read clause 3."
JJ's eyebrows arch in as he mouths "Clause 3?"
Centurion: "Yes, JJ...Clause 3...the clause where I get to appoint my replacement."
The crowd now begins to cheer again as they realize Centurion pulled one over on JJ. JJ now gets angry as he snatches the clipboard out of Centurion's hands, only for his face to drop as he reads Clause 3.
Centurion: "Ladies, gentlemen, and enbies of the world, allow me to introduce the NEW GENERAL MANAGER OF MADNESS…"
Vinnie Lane: "IT'S TULA KEALI'I!!"
Out from the back steps the former Anarchy Champion and Micronesian Champion, Tula Keali'i, to a huge roar from the crowd. She waves down at JJ, who looks infuriated.
Centurion: "Good luck, JJ. Now, I've got a match to go get ready for. The floor is yours."
Centurion plops the mic into JJ's chest and leaves the ring, heading for the back.
Vinnie Lane: "JJ Dylan is shocked! He looks like he's just seen a ghost!"
Tula walks to the ring, bringing her own microphone with her.
Tula Keali’i: “JJ. Relax. Centurion has all the faith in the world in me, as he should, and so should you. Together, you and I will make Madness in Centurion’s image… in his vision. A pure brand with none of Vinnie Lane’s nonsense. No sharks, no zeppelins, no kennels.”
Vinnie Lane: “Hold on just a second.”
Vinnie says through a house mic, standing up. The crowd pops.
Vinnie Lane: “Tula, you’re a great administrator and Cent made a fantastic choice picking you, no doubt.”
Tula nods with a thin smile.
Vinnie Lane: “BUT… he did NOT run this by me. This wasn’t part of our deal. And I don’t like having business decisions made in MY company without MY consent. JJ…”
Vinnie walks to the ring and turns toward JJ Dylan.
Vinnie Lane: “How did you let this get past you? I told you you had one job. No surprises. Keep things under control. Let Centurion have his brand but make sure it still represented the XWF properly. Like it or not, dude, you can’t represent the XWF without representing ME… I AM the XWF!”
JJ starts flapping his mouth open and shut trying to come up with something to say, but Vinnie climbs the ring steps and enters through the ropes, then holds a hand up to silence him.
Vinnie Lane: “Zip it. JJ, you screwed up. First day on the job and you flopped. You’re fired.”
The crowd gasps. JJ and Tula both can’t believe it. Vinnie just stands there waving until JJ quietly exits the ring and walks off.
Vinnie Lane: “Now Tula… I like you. I’m keeping you. I want you to run Madness the way I wanted Centurion to run Madness. That means with just a HINT of Vinnie Lane in the mix! And to do that? We need a little wildness! So let me announce to you RIGHT NOW, that not only will Madness have its IDL Championship, an incredible honor of technical wrestling and skill… but we are having another division on Madness with its own honors. A DEATH MATCH DIVISION!”
Tula looks horrified but the crowd cheers loudly at the announcement. Somewhere in the back, you can hear Centurion sighing loudly.
Vinnie Lane: “Every single Madness, starting later this month, there is going to be a multi-man death match event. And the one who walks away from each event the winner will be the Madness Lord of Violence! I bet we’ll crown a new one every single show!”
Tula Keali’i: “Vinnie… you said I was in charge, I…”
Vinnie Lane: “No dude, you’re in charge of Madness. But I’M in charge of the XWF! And that means what I say goes on ANY show. While you and Centurion were off recruiting these awesome athletes for the Madness IDL Championship Tournament, as well as the spectacular tag teams like BGTL, 2 Broke Chicks, The Bing Bong Twinzz, Team KTFO, and Themis Palaestra… I was recruiting too! And I got some of the craziest, most insane, most fearless, most violent performers out there. I got Jacki O’Lantern! I got Thrax! And… I got… DARREN DANGEROUS!”
The three new death match participants walk out onto the ramp, eyeballing the other Madness members. Darren is already bloody from the barbed wire around his head.
Vinnie Lane: “You go put on the best show possible, dude. I am dying to see the first IDL Champion after this tournament. I’m ecstatic to see the tag team division. But as good as your show is gonna be, dude… these guys are gonna STEAL it! Now… let’s get to the main event already!”
Vinnie heads back to his table as the crowd chants “MADNESS! MADNESS!” and Tula fumes.
Bama: “Wow! That’s a heck of a bombshell announcement baby!”
Vinnie Lane: “Told you, Bama. The action never slows down!”
Elijah Martin
- vs - Centurion Submission Match!
Referee: Ari Silverstein
The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.
He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.
At the table, Vinnie is wincing and covering his ears harder after each N bomb from Jay-Z.
Vinnie Lane: “Bama! Stop singing along!”
Bama: “What!? It’s the lyrics!”
Vinnie Lane: “No dude!”
Centurion emerges from the back with a look of intensity on his face. As he holds the Anarchy Championship high, it can be seen that he has several areas of his body taped as well as some obvious bruising remaining on his face.
Vinnie Lane: “Centurion has been at war all throughout the last month or so, dude. Here on Anarchy, at Bad Medicine, on Savage, on Warfare, and even over at FIGHT! Cent just had a huge battle with Chris Page over there about a week ago that had him in pretty bad shape by the end!”
Bama: “Listen as a man of a certain vintage I can tell you from experience that things just don’t heal like they used to! Centurion is putting too much pressure on a body that simply can’t handle it any more!”
Vinnie Lane: “And against a challenger like Elijah Martin, especially in a SUBMISSION match, you just know things are getting kicked up a whole ‘nother level!”
Centurion hands off the Anarchy Title to Ari Silverstein, who holds it up for the crowd and shows it to Martin before giving it off to a tech at ringside.
Bama: “Here we go, Vinnie!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
As soon as the bell sounds, Elijah Martin is on Centurion like a bulldog. He grabs a single leg and pulls Cent down roughly with a modified dragonscrew leg whip, then drops an elbow to the inside of Centurion’s knee and thigh, holding Cent’s ankle and pulling the leg backward as the champion squirms.
Vinnie Lane: “Fast start from the challenger! He’s no dummy, he knows Centurion is beat up and he wants to wear out one of the champion’s extremities ASAP!”
Bama: “If you can’t walk you can’t fight!”
Centurion grimaces for a moment before grabbing Elijah’s face with his hand and bending his head back. Cent then drives the point of his elbow right into Martin’s forehead repeatedly, breaking the hold and also breaking Martin’s eyebrow wide open!
Martin scrambles to his feet and looks to kick Centurion, but the cagey veteran stops him in his tracks with a palm strike to his nose, which erupts in blood. Staggered, Martin catches a second palm strike right to the solar plexus that folds him over! Centurion then lifts him and drops his midsection over his knee in a hard gutbuster.
Elijah Martin rolls to a corner of the ring and starts dry heaving, spitting out gobs of phlegm after having his digestive system shaken up by the assault from Centurion.
Vinnie Lane: “Centurion working on the core of the challenger here, Bama. Giving punishment to the body over and over!”
Bama: “Not to mention he broke his dang nose! Look at all that blood! Not a chance Elijah Martin can breathe proper!”
Ari Silverstein snaps on a pair of black lates gloves as Martin’s blood sprinkles all over the canvas. When he checks on the challenger though Elijah vigorously tells him he’s good to go.
Centurion gets tired of waiting for Martin to find his feet so he steps into the corner, but Martin grabs him by the waistband and pulls him forward, using Cent’s own momentum to send him face first into the top turnbuckle.
Martin hops up and starts bashing Cent’s face into the buckle over and over, then finishes off with a forearm shot to the back of the champ’s head and neck. Centurion slumps a bit, and Martin sends a hard kick to the back of the same knee he zeroed in on to start the match. Centurion barks in pain and winces as Elijah Martin grabs him by the ankle of his bad leg and drags him out to the center of the ring on his belly.
Martin holds the ankle and pulls Centurion’s leg high up into the air, driving it down into the mat as hard as he can. Cent shouts in agony and rolls onto his back, grabbing at the knee as Martin puts the boots to him, kicking him around the knee and thigh.
Martin keeps the pressure on Centurion’s leg, grabbing it once again and applying a spinning toe hold. Centurion grits his teeth and rolls through it onto his stomach again, and Elijah doesn’t miss a beat, hooking Centurion’s foot as he drops into an STF!
Vinnie Lane: “Martin is really calculated out there tonight, Bama! He’s got that leg in his crosshairs!”
Bama: “He needs to make Centurion submit if he wants to leave Oregon with the Anarchy Title, so he knows it’s in his best interest to work one body part and get it good and weak!”
Cent struggles in the hold as Martin digs his fingers into Centurion’s mouth, fish hooking his lips as he pulls back on the STF. Cent knows he can’t get a rope break where he is, so he throws a fist over his head and behind him, catching Elijah right in his broken nose.
Martin yelps and lets go, rolling off of Centurion and grabbing at his face.
Centurion hobbles up to his feet and turns toward Martin as he gets to his own vertical base.
BLOODY SYMPHONY TO MARTIN’S FACE!
Elijah Martin catches the full knee right to his broken face and hits the deck in a cloud of bloody mist.
Vinnie Lane: “Huge move from Centurion! That might have been enough for a pinfall victory, but this match is submissions only… so no surprise Centurion has Elijah Martin by the legs now!”
Bama: “He’s going for the Fall of Rome, baby! And he’s almost got Martin turned over!”
Centurion flips Martin onto his belly and wrenches backward in the Fall of Rome! Elijah’s eyes bug out as the pressure hits his lower back, and rivulets of blood pour from his nostrils. The referee drops to the mat to check on Martin, who balls his fists and punches at the mat in pain.
Centurion takes a step back to add more leverage and Martin grabs his foot, twisting at it in desperation. It’s enough to get Centurion’s grip to loosen and Martin slips free from the Fall of Rome.
Centurion is tripped up and Elijah grapevines the champ’s leg into a kneebar! Centurion is in instant agony and Ari Silverstein is now checking on him instead.
Centurion crawls his way to the ropes, dragging Martin’s entire weight on his hurt leg. He gets his fingers on the bottom rope finally and Ari breaks up the hold, with Elijah holding on for a count of four and a half before letting go.
Vinnie Lane: “Centurion escaped the submission for now, Bam, but the damage was done to that leg!”
Bama: “He’s got a serious limp, baby. Favoring that leg like crazy!”
Centurion can barely put pressure on his leg as he stands up and blocks a haymaker from Elijah Martin. Cent is basically hopping as he returns fire, trading fisticuffs with the challenger effectively with crisp rights and lefts. He lands a solid liver punch that bends Martin to the side, and then he drops Martin with a vicious rolling elbow to the bridge of the nose!
Vinnie Lane: “Centurion is EXTRA aggressive tonight! He’s usually a lot more scientific in his approach.”
Bama: “Gotta fight fire with fire, baby, Elijah Martin is a fighter so Centurion brought the fight to him!”
Martin gets up holding his face and Centurion ducks down, scooping Martin up over his head and setting him up for Fabula Nova Crystallis! Elijah Martin is trapped and not going anywhere!
Vinnie Lane: “Martin will be completely KO’d here, Ari will have no choice but to call a submission no matter what hold Centurion applies afterward… it’s academic!”
Cent winces and twists into the move, and he shouts out as his knee gives out on him! Elijah is still dropped onto his head but not nearly with the intended impact, and Centurion drops to his back and clutches at his injured knee.
Just then, from the backstage area, Lexi Gold emerges and starts jogging down the ramp!
Bama: “Hey there mama you here for Bama?”
Vinnie Lane: “Bama that’s Elijah Martin’s girlfriend! She’s here for the big Madness announcement, but she’s not supposed to be out here right now, she’s got no accreditation as a valet!”
Lexi gets almost all the way to the ring, pulling something out of her purse, before she’s grabbed from behind and spun around… it’s Ruby!
Lexi takes a swing at Ruby but the Super Dear’O ducks it and snaps back up, catching Gold with a RUBY CUTTER!
The sachet from Lexi’s purse flies down the ramp and lands outside the ring, and Ruby grabs Lexi by the hair and tosses her back up the entranceway!
Lexi runs off back to the backstage area as the crowd cheers on their favorite banana-lime flipster!
Vinnie Lane: “It looks like Lexi was trying to bring something down here for Martin but those plans got derailed by the Blur!”
Back in the ring, Centurion has managed to drag himself back up to his one good leg in a corner, and he gets a strange, angry look on his face… and then starts pulling the turnbuckle pad apart!
Centurion completely unlaces the pad as the referee is checking on Elijah Martin, who has finally gotten his senses back to him a little bit after being dropped on the top of his skull by Centurion.
Ruby sees what her mans is doing and climbs up onto the apron outside the corner, pleading with him not to go this direction.
Vinnie Lane: “I told you, dude! This stuff isn’t like Centurion! I think the brutal matches he’s been in the past few weeks have gotten him right up against the edge!”
Bama: “He ain’t even listening to Ruby, Vinnie! He’s still yanking that pad right off the steel turnbuckle!”
Cent gets the pad off just as Elijah Martin splashes him from behind and drives his sternum right into the steel!
Centurion collapses in the ring as Elijah sneers and clobbers Ruby off the apron!
Elijah Martin drops down to the outside and looks to keep up the attack on Ruby, but then he catches sight of the baggie that came from Lexi Gold’s purse and he grabs it with a smile. Looking back at Ruby and giving her a wink, Elijah climbs back into the ring and stands over Centurion… and he shoots s bloody snot rocket from one flattened nostril down onto the champion!
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby isn’t going to just let Martin bring a foreign object into the ring! She’s trying to get the ref’s attention!”
Ruby frantically waves the referee down, and Ari heads over. Centurion, enraged by the disrespect Elijah showed him, charges at the challenger, momentarily able to ignore the pain in his leg due to sheer rage.
Elijah flings a white powdery substance into Centurion’s face! Cent stops in his tracks and goes to one knee, clawing at his eyes and mouth, which is all now caked with white.
Vinnie Lane: “That’s what Lexi was bringing down to ringside! And now the Anarchy Champion is blinded!”
Bama: “He’s blinded and choking on that crap too! And the dang ref didn’t see a thing!”
Martin grabs Centurion by the wrist… and Centurion instinctively pulls him into a V-TRIGGER KNEE!!!
No!!!!
Elijah sidestepped the knee and Centurion instead hit the exposed steel turnbuckle at full force! Centurion wails in pain and falls to the mat, still squeezing his eyes shut due to the powdery mess on his face!
Ruby tries pleading her case to the official but Ari simply turns his attention back to the two competitors, just as Elijah Martin pulls Cent’s injured leg into a figure four! Martin puts all the torque he can muster into it, and Centurion is writhing in absolute agony.
Bama: “Don’t the ref see that junk all over Cent’s face? He’s got to know something happened!”
Vinnie Lane: “That’s what Centurion’s trying to tell him! He’s got Ari by the lapels and is pointing at his own face, but the pain is changing what should be words into just unintelligible shouts of pain!”
Centurion keeps trying to shake some understanding into Ari Silverstein, but then Martin posts his hands to the mat and lifts his butt up, adding even more pressure to the figure four! Centurion’s eyes roll back in his head and he goes limp!
Vinnie Lane: “He’s out! Centurion passed out! The pain was just too much for anyone to take!”
Ari jumps up and calls for the bell! This one’s all over!
Winner by Submission and NEW Anarchy Champion - Elijah Martin
Martin lets go of the hold and stands up with an arm raised, his face covered in a sheet of blood. Silverstein is handed the Anarchy Title and he wraps it around Martin’s waist just as Martin falls to his knees, the blood loss finally sinking in.
Ruby dives into the ring to check on Centurion who is conscious but so far incoherent, and Lexi Gold races back down to the ring to slide in and celebrate with her man!
Vinnie Lane: “I can’t believe what we just saw! Centurion is one of the greatest talents this industry has ever seen! He hand picked this match”
Bama: “He’s still human, baby! That was more than anyone could take, his knee might be ripped apart, we don’t know!”
Vinnie Lane: “Well what we do know, Bama, is that we have a new Anarchy Champion! This crowd and me are all in SHOCK! But that’s why we call it Anarchy I guess!”
Bama: “Dang right!”
Vinnie Lane: “Well that’s it from Portland, Oregon, everybody! We’ll sort all this out and have another great episode of Anarchy for you in two weeks, live from KANSAS!”
Cameras center on Elijah Martin and Lexi Gold celebrating with the Anarchy Championship as Anarchy fades to black!
SPECIAL THANKS:
Centurion
Ghost Tank
Dolly Waters
Tommy Wish
Charlie Nickles
Marf
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
"Take note, XWF. I just showed to you all, that I am capable of not only carrying someone that's worth less than they fucking look, but I showed that I can be a great team player, IF I view you an actual goddamn equal. Money Titans? Did any of you actually like that name? My fuckin' PR team came up with that name because it tested well enough among focus groups.
To any of you who think you're worth my goddamn time, unlike that trash I sent to the hospital and probably will never remember his own goddamn name when and if he wakes up. Hit me up, let's talk about teaming up and running this goddamn division. Until then, I'm going to go and win back my goddamn Anarchy title because I'm BIG MONEY MOTHERFUCKIN' OSWALD!
The smartest and most dangerous and ONLY big man in the XWF TO THIS DAY!"
The following 2 users Like Mr. Oz's post:2 users Like Mr. Oz's post (Gravy_Xtreme_5000) (01-07-2022), Mark Flynn (01-07-2022)
NorthKoreanWarCriminal
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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