Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Robert "The Omega" Main · (07-31-2021)

Continued From:
The Curious Call Of The Carnival IV

C’mon big guy…

Dolly says, straining to pull Robert’s intoxicated weight from the chair.

...we need’ta-

Dolly sets her sights on the open slit in the fabric wall where Charlie and Marf had slipped through mere minutes ago.

-get you out of this tent.

Dolly helps Robert walk, one sure foot after the other, through the inebriating green smog. Though the noxious fog ceased pumping inside, its menace lingered all around. Dolly was beyond blistered herself. She was totaled. Tripping. Every sound buzzing, every step radiating. This wasn’t her first trip at the dope show.

Hey, Robert!

Dolly sat Robert down on a bench outside of the carnival tent. Here the open air was pungent with the smell of sun-rotted garbage, but fresh nonetheless. A hopeful aide for Robert. She nudges on his shoulder a few times but he’s still unresponsive. But then Dolly feels something.

A curious call from the carnival.

It pulls her bleeding eyes into a haunted picture teeming with dying lights and the accents of debauchery. It looked empty, almost in a defeated sense, but the rides were alive and luminous. The games were at hand, with dusty but new prizes. The abandoned was living once more.

The fuck?!?!

.....the fuck?

Robert had made a peculiar and sudden recovery and was standing next to Dolly as they both heard...

Step right up! Try your luck, Bob-O!

An old familiar sound…

”Jim? Caedus?”

Robert and Dolly turn to face the source of the deceitful call. Much to their displeasure they see a man who bears an unmistakable resemblance to Jim Caedus. The disheveled looking man, in all his misplaced glory, bears the shit-eating grin of a man too far gone to know he’s mad. The loon, dick-in-hand, is willfully wearing oil from the old machines while his face wears the weight of his paranoia and delusions.

Five dollars a pitch! Hit the target! Drench the bitch!

Robert and Dolly look at the large water tank set up next to Jim’s booth. Sitting on a plank waiting to be dunked is one of the men wearing the mask of Robert’s monstrosity. One of the men who took Drew from the tent.

Dolly’s face is white, like she’s wearing clown paint as she points to the target beyond Caedus.

”Lets get him!

Not so fast! You trying to fuck me? EVERYONE tries to fuck me!

No one is trying to f-

”Jim, calm down, it’s me… It’s Robert. That guy up there kidnapped Drew!”

Boo-hoo-Drew. Who kidnapped you, Bob’O’Roo?!

Oh fuck this weirdo. Here-

Dolly pulls a sweaty wad of bills from her bra strap and lays it down on the booth's wooden bar. Caedus cocks his eyebrow and starts digging through a nearby trash can, slinging garbage in Dolly and Robert’s face like a non-sequitur in an argument.

Typical Caedus.

Finally, after having an argument with the empty trash can, accusing it of being some other inanimate object and a liar, Jim produces three baseballs.

You got this?

”Easily.”

Robert displays the versatility of his athleticism and creams the metal target to the dunk tank. Only the Monstrosity still sits on its perch.

Rigging the game?

My game, my rules.

Dolly eyes Jim’s shit-eating-grin with incredulity as Robert hurls another baseball, again hitting the target with precision and force. But nothing.

Robert looks frustrated and slings the third and final ball. The result is nil.

Yo! What gives? He hit the target three times. Handover the carnie! We had an agreement!

“Fuck a gentlemen’s agreement, it’s all a prickish plot! Gentle gift givers get gauded gobbling gewy gooch!”

Oh go fuck yer’self with that limp-dick diatribe, Jim.

What are you off yer’ meds again?

I can barely understand what yer’ saying. Always caught up gagging for useless synonyms. Trying anything to rearrange the reasons why yer’ a proverbial faceplant waiting to happen.

You won’t own it, Jim, and that makes you a bitch.

Yup.

Straight up.

Straight down.

And straight into the core of that bleeding vagina you call your pride. You’re seriously going to take the same line as Powers and talk about my hiatuses? Try doing more than just reading Dick’s notes next time you ‘collaborate’!

She turns towards Main,

Robert, why do you and Drew waste time babysitting this lunatic? It wasn’t that long ago Jim was going off ranting and cutting underhanded slights at APEX because he thought you and Drew called him a traitor. Cue the Twilight Zone music. This is what Jim does, twists the narrative to make himself the victim of his own imagination.

She turns back from Robert and digs a sharp finger into Caedus’ chest.

See the difference between me and you, Jim, every time I’ve left the XWF it was on my own accord and I dealt with my demons away from the XWF. You bring your demons in here and allow them to run you dry. It’s why yer’ incapable of being a good teammate in any circumstance. It’s why Robert came off the draft board before you. Is it sinking in yet?

You think I’m unreliable? Quit slinging stones in that glass homeless shelter.

Chrissakes, Jim, you cucked your own team captain in your rant! You chopped his cock off by treating the most impressive win of his career -Dolly Waters- with such an obtuse indifference. I wonder how Ned Kaye feels when you’re saying he’s pure shit for losing to Charlie. You’re a-

Dolly is cut off by an inhuman growl coming from Robert.

Robert feels something crawling just beneath the surface trying to make its way out. As he realizes what's about to be unleashed...

” Dolly… It’s happening, Grrrr… You’ve got to… Ahhhh… Help…. Me…”

Main is incensed as Jim rambles out some inane, straw grasping bullshit. Robert’s face twists and contorts until it mirrors the Monstrosity sitting above the tank who conspicuously vanishes. Dolly takes a gigantic step back watching Robert Main transform into the deviant version of himself… Robert cries out trying to fight the devil within off to no avail…

” No… You were gone…”

He falls to one knee and begins involuntary twitching as his limbs stiffen. He releases one last gut wrenching roar… Robert lifts his head revealing the hellhound he’s tried to keep locked away since Chris Page drugged him. His eyes pierced right into Dolly Waters soul...

” I’m back….”

The Monstrosity leered at Dolly with his unholy eyes watching her every move as she tried masking her distress. She doesn't feel the fear as others apparently do. She processes the situation differently, routing it through her prefrontal cortex instead of letting the more primitive brain do the choice-making. She knows one wrong move, one wrong word could set the demon off... Some things we as humans are born with, others are non-genetic alterations, adjustments, constructed of synthetic drugs pumped into the system… The Monstrosity turns his attention towards the XWF’s most spineless douchebag…

” YOU!”

The Monstrosity roared. Dolly watched on...

” The mighty Jim Caedus, the mental midget, dares to go after Robert Main, all from a man who stands on shaky ground at best… Laughable… Tell us all Jim, where you were when “The Omega '' was holding the XWF up on his back? Carrying the federation into a new era? I’ll tell you, knee deep in some Alex Jones shit with a tin foil hat on blaming everyone and everything for your fuck up! Curled up in the fetal position sucking your thumb crying like a bitch… What you were back in the day was nothing more than a flash in the pan like Chris Chaos... You have a machine gun for a mouth, but as soon as someone takes the bullets away you are as useful as a cock flavored lollipop… Yet you claim Robert Main has lost his spark, at least Robert has been around to provide something… A spark, a flame a fucking piolet light... The last time Caedus showed a bit of fire, he walked out of the XWF for the second time… When will we see you exit stage left for the third time? Sooner than later would be a perfect guess… I have a question, why do you have to pretend to be everyone else to look impressive? Robert is world renowned and you'll never change that fact with a dying gimmick or by being the unsubstantial disappointment you’ve become known for. You live in Main’s shadow period… And every time you try to get out from underneath that shadow the yellow bellied Caedus gets a wild hair up his ass he takes his ball and heads to the house pouting like a baby... Now that I’m here Jimmy, I’m going to mangle those vocal cords from that pencil neck and skip rope and I’m going to keep jumping until I am soaked in brain matter… The very second Robert and Drew noticed the snake slithering back they should have stomped you out… I started whispering into Robert’s subconscious, telling him not to eat from that apple tree… That Jim is loyal to no man, besides himself, Robert should have gutted you the moment you two met eye to eye and buried you in a shallow grave because that is what you truly deserve… Jim you have always been known for one thing and that’s starting drama while talking in whispers… You have the audacity to compare Main to Caedus? Don’t even start you imbecile, there is no competition between the two… When things get strenuous Caedus becomes softer than a frozen yogurt left out in the sun… Wargames you pull up with that same piss and vinegar I promise you, I’ll make sure you catch a fade… You’ve cried so much over the years those sour grapevines are probably waterlogged… You are the one talking tough and haven't moved an inch in years. You're not a man Jim, you're a bitch who buddies up and switches sides when you see fit… Team Powers all the way... But hey when you can’t get anywhere you dick ride with the best of them...”

The Monstrosity steps towards the trembling Caedus, who is now cowering in the booth…

” Caedus ending Robert’s career is comedy gold… Better men have tried and failed. We all listened to that last lackluster promo and thought we got a concussion, because that “fire” you thought you were spitting didn't translate to anything other than the normal Jim Caedus propaganda, this guys a pussy line… Speaking of pussies they say that they have nine lives, what are you on now Jim you’re third? You threw Leap Of Faith 2017 in Robert’s face, what about 2021 Leap Of Faith something more relevant, where you were floored? When up against real killers in the ring, the prodigies of this industry you choke every single fucking time. And sure Robert may have been defeated by Duke… But that isn’t an embarrassment, there is no humiliation in an honest defeat… The only embarrassment walking on team APEX is you Jim, since returning for the millionth time now what have you provided the team other than mediocrity? You were given a Tag Team Championship and could not handle that pressure the last time you showed up and folded like the sperm worm puffing son of a bitch that you are… You pilfered away Leap Of Faith, won a match Robert made Marf squeal in, and picked up the Xtreme against a battered Lycana. You have to resort to bulldozing women now? Bravo! You’re on a tear for sure... You’ve been and always have been an embarrassment in the land of APEX, The land of Xtreme or anyplace else you might reside... While Drew and Main built everything up once more, dropping bodies and main eventing shows you were someplace with your tail tucked between your legs hiding... Robert Main is top two all time, you landed in at six... You can’t even make the top five and honestly after all the bull shit that you have pulled over the years you shouldn't be in the top fifty… You’re going to need a real tall ladder to get up to Robert’s level brother, huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf… When your more like a shitzue owned by a woman with one fucking tooth in a trailer park… And Jimmy, you can raise your voice all you want, Robert will keep just raising the bar… Robert has never had to go against one of his APEX brothers, now that I’m driving you’ll be the first victim… You have tarnished the APEX name and with your talent level being lower than the crust on the Earth, you’ve woken up the bull and these horns are sharp… You listened to the critics as they poured poison into your ear… You picked a fight with a friend, you decided you wanted to mess around with a first round hall of famer and now you’ll get fed to the sharks…”

The Monstrosity grabbed the frail cheat by the throat pulling him from the booth… The hellhound looked into Jim’s eyes filled with fear then to the dunk tank…

” Let’s see how long you can hold your breath, you sniveling pantywaist.”

The grisly scene becomes hard-to-stomach. The Monstrosity slowly drowns Caedus in the tank, bringing him up to breathe, and allowing him to scream intermittently. Just to show Jim the power he has over his life. The Monstrosity is done playing, and finally ends the gruesome punishment. He looks back to Dolly with a bloodthirsty smirk.

”Are you ready to see what’s just beneath the surface?”

An old familiar sound calls out from the glowing shadows of the carnival...

The Fun House

The laughing shrieks of murder in the distance bring our fallen heroes to a standstill as they turn onto a new path in the forsaken park. The former tag team stands directly in front of a luminous funhouse, sitting at the end of the path. Marf cocks a curious eyebrow as Charlie sports a growing grin.

It sounds like somebody made a bitch squeal.

That sounds like Caedus’s cry!

Are you sure that’s the Caedus cry? It may well be the Dukeling holler- it sounds a bit like the dribble Duke was spewing after I knocked his lights out on Savage.

Oh no, that’s definitely Caedus. He yowled just like that after I smacked him around on Wednesday.

Ha, good! Drew probably wised up and put Caedus out to pasture! Hopefully Drew forgot to keep Jim’s shoulders down- I know his belt will look damn good on my mantle when war games ends. It’s about time the X-treme championship stopped floating along the waists of long haired, slender bitches and found its way back into the arms of a real American man. I ran with the TV belt for damn near half a year- just imagine how long I’m going to hold the gray beauty once I get my hands on her.

Your savage reign with the TV belt was pretty long, wasn’t it?

Longer than every combined reign since- but I’ve been told making history with championship belts is nothing worth bragging about. According to Caedus, if he was too mentally unfit to see something happen, then it didn’t happen and it doesn’t matter.

Right, of course…

The age old acquaintances approach the illuminated building down at the end of the path as the shrieking ceases. The pair walk past a few empty carnival rides running with no visible operator. Mechanical teacups spin furiously around a circular track to the pair’s left. Driverless bumper cars relentlessly slam into each at top speed to the duo’s right. Neither man seems particularly interested: their gazes remain perpetually on the now silent house glowing with an array of lights just a dozen or so yards away.

If he wants to go ahead and downplay what you did to him on Warfare, Marf, then I suppose we’ll just have to make a game of bringing war to his body when the time comes.

As the pair step onto the porch of the glowing funhouse a wooden door suddenly appears inside of what was just an empty frame. Charlie and Marf both instinctively take a step back as a loud banging sound arises from the innards of the glowing carnival attraction.

The strange, primarily wooden structure of the Funhouse leers downward at Charlie and Marf while they’re frozen in astonishment. A singular tear sneaks out from Charlie’s eye and races down his cheek as he gazes in horror at his son banging on the window from inside the Funhouse. Tyler cries out for his Daddy. Charlie remains entranced, only able to snap into action once Marf starts shaking him.

TYLER! HOW’D YOU GET TO CHIPPAWA?!

We’re tripping, Charlie! None of this is real!

Charlie rushes the door and tries to turn the handle. It doesn’t budge an inch. Charlie retreats a few steps, before turning back to Marf with a truly dumbfounded expression. Marf looks at Charlie, his dilated pupils making direct contact with Charlie’s emerald irises.

We need to get in there! Tyler’s only a boy! He can’t be alone in this park, he needs me!

He’s not real, Charlie! This whole place is fucked up, don’t get lost in the sauce!

I know that I’M real! You tell me that YOU’RE real! Why wouldn’t my son be real?! We have to help him! He must have followed us here because he wanted to be with his dad! I’m the only thing he has in this world!

Before Marf can argue Charlie charges towards the door with his shoulder down. The shirtless man barges through the door, forcing the wood to literally split upon impact. Charlie’s momentum carries him forward as he crashes onto the aged floorboards littered with splinters.

To Be Continued...

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Curious Call Of The Carnival V
Author	Message