We interrupt the current broadcast of ‘As the days of our lives turn inside a hospital that is general’ for some breaking news in regards to the Target Bomber. We cut to a reporter.

Reporter: Yes, I am outside the Breathtaking Whispering Canyon apartment complex where a man named Clarence Hill was apprehended moments ago after being positively identified as ‘The Target Bomber.’

We get a shot of an unmasked WIZARD being led, handcuffed, toward a waiting police car. Edward Mof paces back and forth, scratching his hair and biting his finger nails.

Reporter: Apparently Clarence Hill is most commonly known as quasi-pro wrestling star and LARPing hero, The Wizard. He, apparently, thought he could dress as a wizard 24/7 and avoid paying for his crimes.

A police officer bags the wizard costume as evidence.

Reporter: I’m here with his manager, Edward Mof. Mr. Mof, any words?

Edward Mof: I’m also a dating coach.

Reporter: Okay. Any words on what’s just taken place?

Edward Mof: Only that my client is innocent and we hope to have him released from whatever cell they are placing him in very soon.

Reporter: Threats of terrorism are very serious. He could face several years in prison.

Edward Mof: It’s all a big misunderstanding. I just need to get some help and we’ll have him out of prison and back in society in no time.

Reporter: Personally, I’d like to add that I’m a huge fan of the Target franchise and your client’s actions have made me nervous to step into a Target superstore.

Before Mof can answer, the reporter yanks the mic away.

Reporter: We will have more on this situation as it develops.


Edward Mof receives an email from THE LARPing Community.

Mr. Mof,

We are here for The Wizard. We will track down anybody that can help him. We have your back, no homo.

Sincerely,

The LARPing Community

PS: if you have any dating advice you’d like to pass on, we could use it. Thx.