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Johnny Legend · (08-21-2020)

Lights flicker as a old man sits in a wheelchair, sobbing in the corner of a nursing home. He slowly turns his head a bit; with the help of one of the camera crew, they turn the man in the wheelchair around for the shot. Bruises and cuts cover his face, with his head tilting to the left, a stream of drool slides down the corner of his mouth- landing on the shoulders of his repulsive smelling robe. The cries of other old and useless meat-bags fill the living area of this nursing home. With lights clicking on and off due to poor maintenance, the old man chuckles, revealing the face of Johnny Legend.

He turns his head to the right, to the left, and finally into the cameras in front of him,"Huh!? Wh... WHO ARE YOU!?! OH GOD! NOT LOGAN! GO AWAY!" Johnny Legend points to the camera with horror in his eyes, as his fat ass continues to grow in the wheelchair.

"YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU MANIAC! YOU EVIL SPAWN OF ANDREWS!" Johnny yells while swatting at the camera.

Johnny oddly says in a Russian accent, "You beat. STRAIGHT UP!"

"I have to say, this Andrew Logan guy is gonna be big here. Just take it from this old man. I've been all around and met many groups in this business. The Hen. Shawn Walsh. Centurion... Whatever happened to that guy?" Johnny shrugs.

"So I'm gonna put all my savings. All forty-two bucks on Andrew Logan being the next Universal Champion. I kid you not."

A few moments pass, with the help of his medication, Johnny Legend slowly starts to remember why the camera is there and sits back in his chair to relax a little.

Johnny Legend wipes the drool off his face, "Sorry, the brain goes blank for a while and liquids start leaking. So, you guys here to shoot whatever XWF wants me to say about my next opponent?" He reaches down in-between his buttocks with his right hand and starts rummaging around, "Give me a second."

SWISH SWISH SPLAT

He unlocks his ass cheeks and lets go off his hand, Johnny smiles into the camera and slowly lifts that very hand up to his nostrils, "Gotta wake-up somehow." He starts inhale the revolting fumes from between his hairy ass, along with some cries here and there between the hyperventilating.

While still getting high on his own fart supply, Johnny reaches to his left side with his free hand and takes out a picture that was stuck under his left leg. He stares deeply into it the picture, his eyes getting wider and wider with each sniff.

"I was so beautiful.."

The camera cuts to a picture of Johnny Legend in his younger years- full of hope and holding in his sneezes. He rubs the picture with his thumb, as hazy memories of the past try to stick but only sliding out of grasp. No more inhaling, Johnny Legend lowers his hand with tears running down his cheeks.. The face cheeks.

He forces a chuckle for the camera, "I can't remember.." While rubbing away the tears with his forearm.

"Either it was the countless chair shots, drugs, or bumping my head on a cabinet door... My mind.. It's not all there. I forget, only to be reminded of what I have done- later on. It sucks. My name is sometimes all I remember... John.. Johnny Legend? That's my real name, right?"

A sigh of relief, "Yeah, that's my name." Johnny smiles, "I'm a real Legend in wrestling. Yes sir. A reaallll."

He stops, slow to the realization, Johnny Legend finally breaks a mental wall, "Wait." Johnny says to himself, with his eyes darting to the ground; trying to think of his achievements but only failing to gather any details.

With a furrow brow, Johnny looks back into the camera and says, "Do I suck?"

Johnny looks around and back into the camera, "I just suck, right?"

"I mean, I never accomplished anything that truly stands out in my career. Always falling short, or just not giving a fuck if it comes to most federations."

He moves his hands around to convey a point about being a fucking loser, "I got beat by a fucking box in another federation. A hobo called Nathan Gust is undefeated against me in another. And I'm pretty sure my legacy of sucking ass will continue here. All because I can't speak as if I was some high class school bitch. You know, the big words blockheads in this industry. Hiding behind your thesaurus, thinking so highly of yourself and how you got over someone because you can use a longer word for eating cock or whatever."

"Not me. I love eating cock. I.. I mean, I love saying it. Not like I tried eating my own dick before."

Johnny tilts his head down and mutters to himself, "Soon."

The cries in the living area start to lower in volume around Johnny Legend.

He shakes his head, "Anyways, let's get back on track. Shall we?"

"I have the worst and best fucking luck in this business. The best? I win matches. The worst? I lose matches against anyone with a little itty bitty bit of talent. Anyone that can put together a coherent sentence without using words like fuck, shit, cock, cunt, and ass... They whoop my fucking shitty ass for some reason."

He pauses, shakes his hands in the air and yells, "WHY ME LORD!?"

As if a dark cloud hovers over Johnny Legend; he turns his head to the left and out the window and dwells about the present in his head. The sound of rain bouncing off a cheap metal roof outside the window, Johnny looks out at the puddles forming in the cracks and holes that litter the sidewalks outside the nursing home.

He turns his head back to the camera, "I'm only what? Fifty-two? Fifty-three? My body feels like I'm in the eighties!" Johnny says and starts rubbing his back, "The back pain alone makes it so I have to take a row of pills a day. Not fun."

"This was before Andrew Logan whooped my ass. That fucker didn't kill me, though! So that's a win? Right?"

"Doesn't matter. Just a few more days here and I'll be set free.. If that stupid girl Jessie doesn't fuck up and get me out." He mutters to himself while rocking relentlessly side to side in his chair.

"I'll be free and out there. Ready. Ready to get my ass kicked by Hanari Carnes. Some Dominican that obviously has less fame than I, Johnny Legend." Johnny raises his arms in victory while sitting in his own filth.

"I'm just saying, I tried looking this guy up.. And guess what? He's a hard fucker to find anything on." Johnny holds up a potato that he was talking into early today.

"You'd think having the same tired gimmick of suit-wearing douche-bag would get him far here. Nope."

Johnny raises his hand, ".." However, he realizes something, "Then again. He's accomplished way more than I have my time here. I mean, I almost won some tournament back then, but Lee Stone stole it away from me because that's what his people do. You know... BLOCKHEADS!"

"Don't matta. I'm back and ready to slip my way into any title chance I can get. Understand this, Hanari. I'm old and depressed, but with being old and having a short term memory... I can forget about tons of things! Like whoever I fought last week! Did I win? I won, right? Yeah, of course I did. I'm Johnny Legend. I mean, I have LEGEND in my name! I have to win matches. If not, then what can I call myself? Johnny Broke? Johnny Zerocool? Again... It don't matta. I win no matter what!" Johnny spins his chair around in such glee.

"Enough of that. I gotta quit name dropping deadbeats that are too scared to come back. Lee Stone. You a bitch." Johnny give up the middle finger with a piece of shit on it.

"At least this Hanari guy will show... Right? Someone call Vinny Lane or whatever rocker owner here that makes me question my sexuality. Tell them to bring Hanari to me. I shall show this young, tanned and well oiled Dominican the meaning of wrasslin'. Like this!" Johnny stands up to flex, but quickly drops back down into his wheelchair, "OH FUCK! MY BACK! NURSE! SOMEONE!"

He slowly grabs his wheels and starts rolling away from the camera crew and out of the shot. The scene fades to black with the cries of Johnny Legend wheeling himself to the nearest nurse for some help.

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