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Shawn Warstein · (06-15-2020)

“Hey man….”

“Oi cunt.....”

“Wake the fuck up…..”

If you’ve ever been in this situation, then you know how hard it is to open your eyes. I couldn’t even stand the weight of my eyelids opening. Every second a struggle to open them. With the little strength I have, I tilt my head and half open my eyes.

Noah is standing there on his crutches, reaching over precariously shaking my body.

“Wake up you cunt…” A look sorrow draped over his face. “If you die in here I’ll have to sell this fucking place.”

That place was Noah’s couch. I just couldn’t be in the states right now. Not while she’s still around and not like this.

“I’m not dead…” I hoarsely muttered as I rolled away from Noah. “Yet.”

With a quick flick of one of his crutches against the side of my head I roll over.

“What?”

Noah nudges me aside on the couch and sits down next to me as he elevates his leg up on the coffee table. He’s still not fully recovered from his injury and is still moving quite gingerly. He knocks a few empty liquor bottles off the table and leans his head back.

“So how long are you going to be here?” The contempt in his voice is palpable. “I don’t mind you crashing here, but you can afford a nice hotel.”

“Mini bars are expensive.” I managed to sit up and it feels like a ton of bricks are placed squarely on my head. “Plus… I hadn’t seen you in a while.”

That’s no fault of his, the last time we were together I left him out on his own for my own selfish reasons. He said I didn’t have to apologize, but it still hurt to watch Page and Main brutalize him all for the sake of my own glory.

“I’m sorry.” As hollow as it rings today, it would’ve meant much more had I said it months ago. I had chosen myself over everything else. I was days away from a record and all I saw was the Universal Title.

“I know.” I know that he doesn’t believe me, and that’s okay. I truly meant it. I feel it’s time to start making some amends for the transgressions, but I’m hurt now in a way that I told myself I wouldn’t ever feel again. She did something to my brain and how it functions. I’ve been bad before, but never like this.

“So where’s the belt? I wanna see it. I heard you got a nice new fancy one, way better than that god awful one that cunt had.” That’s right he probably hasn’t been paying attention since he’s been out of the locker room. I wish I could just turn off and turn a blind eye sometimes.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, ‘I don’t know’, what the shit is that?”

“I gave them a choice, and neither one of them chose. So I left the belt there and walked away?”Noah shoots me a confused look and shakes his head.

“So someone in production is walking around with the title right now?”

“Probably. I don’t care.” A simple but painful shrug

“What the fuck do you mean you don’t care!? You gave up everything for that title, and now all of a sudden you don’t care!” He’s got a point, but like I said…. I’m hurting right now. “What does Atty think about that?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Lies. All for the sake of making myself not feel pain for just a moment.

“Where is she? I thought for sure she’d be thrilled to see me.” And she would’ve been, but things happen I guess.

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” At some point I’ve got to stop lying to myself, but I can’t be just friends. “She’s gone. She broke it off.”

“What did you do?” A valid question I’ve posed numerous times to no avail.

“That’s the thing…. I don’t know, and that’s what hurts the most.” I’ve been through breakups before. Hell I’ve been divorced but with all of them I knew what the problem was. It was always something I did or didn’t do. This time it felt like it was out of the blue all for asking a few questions. Not for control, but for clarity. I felt like I had done everything right. I helped her when she needed it. I lifted her up above myself constantly. She was and still is one of the best things to happen to me.

She was the crux for everything. Everything I did was because I had her best intentions in mind. Maybe she didn’t see that, or maybe she just didn’t care as much as I do.

“I guess that explains the raiding of my liquor cabinet.” Noah grabs a few empty bottles of Scotch and Bourbon.

“No, those were from War Games.” I pointed to a few empty pill bottles on the table. “The Oxys, Adderall, Hydrocodone, and fentanyl are for the break up.”

“Did you just fucking relapse at my house!”

“Nope.” I didn’t take the pills. I wanted to, but couldn’t do that. Every time I tried, I saw her face. All of them were tossed down the drain. I have a handful of aspirin in my pocket for this hangover.

“Not fucking cool! Where did you get all of these?”A good question, and being an addict like me I knew the right answer.

“The American pharmaceutical companies that have been draining the world of their feelings since 19-always. A few trips to a few different doctors and I’ve got everything that I could possibly need…. and then some.”

The look of disappointment on Noah’s face says everything. No words needed to be said on his end.

“What about what you're here for? Isn’t all of this going to hinder that just a little bit?”

“Nope. This is how he’s used to seeing me. If he saw me any other way it wouldn’t work.” It’s true, in all the time he’s known me I’ve never been sober. I can disappoint him now. “Either I died, or I was going to see him today. It’s a win-win in my book.”

“Still not cool.”

I force myself to stand, as my jellied legs barely support my weight. I pull out my phone and order an Uber.

“You coming?” Noah sits there bewildered and just motions to his legs. “Right. So that’s a no then.”

I stumble towards the door, catching myself on furniture as I basically walk and drag myself to the door. A very audible sigh comes from Noah as I make it to the door and open it. Halfway between the threshold I lean up against the door jam and look back at Noah on the couch.

“I really am sorry.”

With that I shut the door behind me and shake everything off. I clear my throat and begin to walk normally towards the curb of the street. I wasn’t waiting long before the car pulled up.

“Shawn?”

A quick nod and I get into the car. He verifies the address and we are driving towards our destination.

“You don’t mind if I work here right?” The driver smiles and nods. I pull out my phone and turn the camera on facing me.

“So…. that was an interesting turn of events wasn’t it? Sure War Games didn’t quite turn out the way I had hoped, but you can’t win them all, and to be brutally honest, what did I have to lose? My title wasn’t on the line in either the Captains match or War Games itself. I didn’t have to be there, but I chose to be there. I fought with every bit of energy I had, and came up just short.” I hang my head for a moment and then look back into the camera. “Sometimes the numbers game just becomes too much to handle. Ohh shit I said the words… can’t wait for Robert to quote this and tweet it as an excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse, it’s a fact but I’m not going to dwell on that, no what I’m going to focus on is my match with Page. It’s been a long time coming hasn’t it? You couldn’t wait to get your hands on me at March Madness. Only for that not to come to fruition. You couldn’t wait to get your hands on me at War Games, but I put you down. Boy howdy did it feel good to shut your cocksucker, even if it was for just a few fleeting moments. Watching you lay there, knowing that no matter the outcome, you wouldn’t have a hand in it. It was almost enough to get me through to the end….”

“Almost.”

“But Shawn when one of us wins we both win! Ha Ha got em’. Yet you didn’t pin me, Robert did. You didn’t win. Your Team won, sure I’ll concede that, but you were not the last one standing. Hell neither was I but I know deep down the fact that I pinned you really pisses you off doesn’t it?”

“I mean you’ve got to be honest with yourself Chris. You can’t beat me. You never could. Every time we’ve faced off one on one, the WGWF Legend just can’t get it done. Unlike you I didn’t have to bully my way into the XWF Hall Of Legends, all of my accolades brought me there. Tell me Page do I have to call you Centurion Jr? Everything you’ve done here I’ve done better and more frequently, and with higher regards from people that actually matter. I’ve done more here than you could ever possibly hope to achieve. You want my title? Come get it… or better yet bring it to the ring on Saturday because that is the closest you’ve ever been to it.”

“It hurts right? Knowing that I’ve done it twice and you never have. You can have all the World Title runs you want, but you’ll never have this title will you?” A classic Shawn smirk. “I know I say this a lot to the both of you but, don’t answer that it’s rhetorical. It’s like beating a dead horse when I say that, but I have to otherwise you’re going to answer a question that really wasn’t a question. You and I have been back here approximately the same amount of time yeah?”

“And what have you done in that time? That’s right…. lose constantly to Robert Main. Sure you were in the Main Events and whatnot. And sure all the opportunities were thrown at your feet, but you came up just short didn’t you? What did I do in that very same time? Won three titles, Lethal Lottery and hosted my own PPV. You were gifted MY TAG TEAM TITLES. You two having those were a part of the plan. You didn’t earn them. Like everything else you’ve ever accomplished, it was handed to you on a silver platter. So please don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Just like how I was gracious enough to allow you this opportunity. One that you don’t deserve, but I said I was willing to take on all challengers. It’s not my fault no one stepped up to the plate. You on the other hand said ‘I’ll be your huckleberry’, and that’s all it took. I didn’t back away. I didn’t run. I didn’t cower in fear. The only thing I said was…”

“Nothing Would Make Me Happier.”

“It’s a little eye opening to say the least. If I was so afraid of you guys, why would I jump feet first into the fire? I don’t fear you individually. Robert can get it done on his own, you on the other hand Chris can’t. So that’s why my only worry in all of this was Robert. If he was there then I would need someone there too right? Then you said he wouldn’t be there.”

“Perfect.”

“The only person capable of helping Chris win won’t be there. Hell if I wasn’t in a car right now I’d do a fucking jig. We all know in your little pack that you think you’re the big dog, but you’re the equivalent of a Pomeranian. A little yippy dog who just doesn’t shut the fuck up. Who runs and hides behind the Rottweiler when the trouble really begins. It just sucks for you that I’m like Craig’s dad from Friday.”

“Foot up a dog’s ass… All day long.”

“You May think you’ve wanted this match? Yet I’ve wanted it for longer. You have claimed that I was never on your level, and I’ve proven that to be a lie. Over and over again. You claim that I’m only here because you decided you wanted to go after a lower tier of titles. Lie. You’ll claim that you’ve carried this company for the past year. Lie. Accolades are nice, titles are better, but the greatest joy I have right now is looking down on you from my ivory tower.” I relax my shoulders and lean back in the seat. I take a deep breath and continue. “You’ve knocked me around a bit, but I didn’t fall. If you think that beating me when my title isn’t on the line is anything to brag about, you’re wrong. I want you to come to the ring. I want you all full of piss and vinegar. I want you to come with every intention of beating the life out of me, so that when you don’t and you lose… I can tell you I told you so. You’re the one not in my league. You’re the one in over your head. You’re the one that doesn’t belong.”

“I did you a great service in allowing you to even breathe in the air of a title match. I gave you an opportunity and you jumped on it like a Pomeranian humping a teddy bear. *Callback* Senpai noticed you. Senpai granted you a shot. The problem is Senpai knows you’ve done nothing to earn it. You couldn’t last in War Games.”

“But we’ve beat…. We’ve been over this already.”

“Many branch, hard to break.”

“One branch, easy to break.”

“So this week just call me a lumberjack. I’m going to take my ax to the forest and clear path, one miserable twig at a time.”

As if everything was planned out perfectly, the car comes to a stop in front of an unassuming home in a quiet Australian suburb.

“This can’t be right.” I said aloud as I opened the door to the car and began to walk towards the home. In the driveway there were a couple of cars, nothing fancy, and a small fishing boat. The grass was cut nicely, and looked well kept.

“I have to be in the wrong place.” As I reached the door, the mailbox flap on the side was open. I peeked in and saw that yes I was in fact in the right place. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I reach into my pocket and pull out a few pills and hold them in my hand.

“Down the hatch.” In one swift motion I pop all the pills in my mouth and swallow them. I press the doorbell and turn towards the street as I wait for someone to answer the door.

**Click**

**Click**

The sounds of the locks being undone causes me to turn around. The door slowly opens.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Peering at me from halfway out of the door is STEVE JASON. His hand rests on the door. His beard has grown slightly scraggly, but still clean. It looks like he could go in the ring right this second and not miss a beat.

“Good to see you too…”A sly smirk across my face. I reach out a hand for him to shake, but he just looks at it and then back to me.

“What do you want? Because whatever you’re selling… I’m not interested.” Steve goes to shut the door but I reach my and out and stop it. Visibly frustrated Steve yields for a moment.

“Just hear me out. I didn’t come all the way to Australia just to have your door slammed in my face.” Steve takes a step back.

“Well out with it then. My patience is very thin for you, thinner than the past. I walked away and didn’t expect my past to come knocking on my door. Least of all you.”

“I know if I ask you to come back you’ll just slam the door in my face.” Steve nods in agreement. “So I figured I’d ask you to make a phone call for me.”

“Why on earth would I do that?” He’s not wrong. Steve Jason and I were never really friendly, but I felt the respect was there.

“Because for the first time…” I take a deep breath and hang my head. “ I need help.” Taken aback Steve gets a puzzled look on his face.

“Just a call.” As he begins to pull out his phone.

“You and I both know he won’t listen to a word I say. It will carry much more weight if it’s coming from you.” I place my hand over my mouth resisting the urge to vomit as I watch him make the call. He stands there for a moment staring daggers at me the entire time, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Hey buddy, it's been a long time since I’ve talked to you. How have you been?” Steve nods while listening to the other end of the conversation. “That’s great man. You’ll never guess who is at my door asking for you.”

A brief moment is taken before Steve speaks again.

“Shawn fucking Warstein. Yeah the crazy bastard flew all the way down here for me to call you. All so he could talk to you.”

The phone is handed to me.

“Hello.”

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Joy is Temporary, but the Pain lasts a lifetime.
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