So I think I got him under control, for now. Today I was in the store, mask on, shopping. I felt good. I felt calm. I felt people looking at me though, and all I could see was their eyeballs.....making the stares more piercing.

It felt like they were staring through me. It felt like they could see him.

It made me feel like he was there, always with me, always looming over my shoulder like impending doom.

I won't lie, there are always those thoughts....and I know they are him. What if I ripped my mask off and coughed on the food. Intentionally. What if I knocked something over and left it there. What if I punched the cashier?

I walked down my isle, slowly, looking at all the different items. None of it I really needed but it was nice to get out of the house.

As I was checking out, I began to get tingly.

I thanked the cashier and I walked out, pushing my cart towards the car.

I unloaded my groceries and began to head home.

DO IT, DRIVE INTO THE OTHER LANE.

No.

COME ON. ESTABLISH A LITTLE ANARCHY. THROW A WRENCH IN THE SYSTEM.

Go away.

I beat it down, I swallowed hard.

There were children out and about riding bikes.

HIT THEM

No! Stop it!

KILL THEM!

Go away! Get out of my head!

I shook my head hard, arguing with the imaginary voices that weren't so imaginary to me.

I had to stop at tractor supply, pick up a few things for around the house. As I walked through the isles he yelled inside my head about all the things that I could use as weapons if I wanted to.

Gruesome things I would never think of using.

Then, I saw a bunch of kids and their parents huddled around what looked like big steel bowls. They had orange heat lights on.

Chicks.

They were selling chicks. Small little yellow angels. Innocent. Just starting their life. They didn't know right from wrong.

Shit, neither did I anymore.

I looked down at them at they brought a natural smile to my face.

I asked if I could touch one. It brought me instant joy. A smile creped across my face but by the looks of the children nearby, it just have been more of a smirk.

A sick, psychotic smirk.

Is there such a thing as an emotional support chicken?

Pet it. I wanted to pet it.

KILL IT

RIP ITS HEAD OFF

Pet

RIP

Pet

RIP

Pet

RIP

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ALL OF THEM, KILL ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!

I bought 5. I figured they would be a healthy addition and would give me something to get my mind off my own self hatred.

I drove home and swerved almost off the road several times.

It was him.

I slept well that night. I felt at ease, weirdly.

I woke up covered in feathers and blood.

He's here.

I'm sorry everyone. Sorry for everything I thought I was. Sorry I wasn't stronger. Sorry I couldn't keep him locked away.

I am sorry I was weak.

He is here. He is here and he isn't going anywhere.

I sit here on my rug, blotting up the blood with tears in my eyes. This isn't me.......this never was me.

But I can't control him.

JUDAS! I yelled. JUDAS! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A JUDAS! YOU BETRAYED ME!

I heard laughing. I Punched myself hard in the head. The face. I drew blood.

JUDAS! I said again as my hand sweeped over a small bone.

Poor thing. At least it was quick.........I think.

I got up with a groan and walked over to the mirror. I hadn't shaved in weeks. But what stared back at me wasn't me.........it was him.

JUDAS

And he had a fire in his eyes.........evil to the core.

He's here.

What have I become, now that I've betrayed
Everyone I've ever loved, I pushed them all away
And I have been a slave to the Judas in my mind
Is there something left of me to save
In the wreckage of my life, my life

I'm becom-, I'm becom-, I'm becoming
I'm becom-, I'm becom-, I'm becoming
Judas in, Judas in my mind
I'm becom-, I'm becom-, I'm becoming
I'm becom-, I'm becom-, I'm becoming
Judas in, Judas in my mind

"You know, I've got to be honest, Cent. You took that a lot better than I would have. You took me pointing out how your winningest record in XWF history is really like cliff jumping--it looks scary until you hit the water then you realize it wasn't all that bad--very well. You took every word I said in stride and you gave a concise yet detailed response like the veteran you are.

You just didn't realize exactly what I was doing.

It's okay, Cent. Nobody does. That's the beauty of Chaos.

It would be pointless to come out here and tell the world I am better than you. At this point in my career, I'm not. What I am is smarter than you. What I am is several steps ahead of you. What I am is at the finish line while you are just getting off the blocks.

I sat back and I watched your promo, and I smiled. I smiled to myself because your response is exactly how I planned it. Every word, delivered with such poise and authority, is exactly how I wanted you to respond. Bravo! You see, I brought up points, some sore spots, and some situations that I knew you'd roast me for. You'd find some loophole to jump through and smack me back, all while keeping your composure. You fell into the trap, and you did the one thing that someone with your experience here should never do.

You hung on the words instead of the context.

You assumed the promo came from someone simple minded, so you gave a simple minded response. You didn't even break a sweat. Look at you! You made it seem easy.

Your mind has betrayed you, because you failed to see the bigger picture in my words.


Shut up little boy. This is my party now.

As I was saying, you hung on the words themselves without exploring the bigger picture. How rude! Here I am, giving you a nice fish tank with some awesome decorations--some high grass plants, top end gravel, a two level cave, moss balls, a substrate covered in plant life with various places to play and hide--and you chose to hang out at the surface and ignore it all.

Get out there and explore! It'll be healthy for ya!

I'm starting to think you have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants. Mr. Never Back Down. Mr. Challenge Anyone. Mr. I've Only Lost To Good Competition.

Where shall I begin? Where shall I begin?

Michael Graves. Ahh yes. My old nemesis. I am not knocking you for this one cent, because I agree it WOULD be good for Graves to get cancer and die.

HOWEVER

I can use the same thing about him that you did with Maverick (I knew you were going there, by the way.) The Graves you knew was a died hair ripped shirt fishnet wearing burnout who thought being edgy was being cool, but never won a damn thing in his life. The true "Dark Warrior". Yeah, dark matches.

But Graves changed. He morphed. He piggybacked off the success I brought to AX3 and actually became one of the hottest and most intense storylines in the XWF at the time. He went from painting his face to shopping at Spirit Halloween for his ring attire to looking like David Schwimmer with a Percocet problem, back to....this. Be that as it may, Graves was a threat to beat anyone on any given night, depending on his mood and his Cialis prescription being filled. But Graves jokes aside, he was actually a good competitor. Where were you for his transformations? Sitting at home, watching, waiting for that phone call from Vinnie or Theo, telling you they are stressed and need a release.

You came a'runnin back!

You've faced lesser competition in that ring night in and night out. Wanting me to admit I am one of them is a cop out. BUT..I'll play the game, because I see right through it. Yes I failed to beat you, but YOU didn't BEAT me. Robbie Bourbon beat me, you just made the cover. But I'll give it to ya, Cent. I'll play your game. You beat me, I'm lesser competition than you...........but I'm also a lot more of a pain in the ass.

I am a thorn in the side. I am a pester. I don't go away. Ask Robert Main, who took you to the woodshed as well I may add, what his life was like before I left. I am a bother. Once I dig my talons in, I don't go away. You and I are destined to do this dance for much longer than you're comfortable with.

I am not going to say that match doesn't count. It counts. It's on my backstage page as a loss. It goes against my record. That's how it works around these parts....if you don't win, you lose. Glad to see your retentive skills are still there. Good job! But one match isn't going to keep me away. Knocking me down once isn't going to keep me down.......

I WILL ALWAYS GET BACK UP.

Then you wanted to weave your basket a little tighter. My record here. Well, that was me trying to show Mastermind how stupid his equations were, but I am glad you picked up on that too because it provided another golden nugget.

The Hall of Legends.

You've brought that up more time than Barney Green has about how he was World Champion once. Aren't you the one who gave me shit about about mentioning Top 50 a few promos ago? Said it was overkill. Said it was all I had to hang on to. Cent, its all YOU have left. I exposed you as phony, I called you out for coasting through your title reign, I put you on blast for losing to the only good competition you've ever faced. Then you backpedaled and began to panic.

"Oh, but the Hall of Legends! The Hall of Legends. I have beaten most of them! Ahh! Hall of Legends!"

FUCK THE HALL OF LEGENDS.

Oh you've never heard of the people I mentioned? Funny you'd say that. You were sitting on your ass watching when I was here.

"No one has made Chris Chaos look good since 2017"

BITCH WHERE WERE YOU?

When I was a full timer here, I ruled the roost. I held every title there is to hold. I beat the best competition AT THE TIME. I had my fair share of losses, sure, but it comes with the sport. Point is, I was MAIN EVENT every single week while you were sitting home waxing your carrot thinking about how Roxy Cotton and Vinnie Lane look oddly similar.

You know why I haven't beaten those guys? Because I wasn't around to beat them. You have the most wins in this company because you were humping these roads and winning XWF matches while I was still partying at frat houses and banging cheerleaders. You're an old man in this business, but I'm glad to see that your Just For Men has served you well.

I mentioned these names to prove a point, and you were too dense and self-absorbed to grasp it. You beat those guys, but those guys are long gone. They are memories. They are sitting on a shelf collecting dust. Like I said, nobody can or will take your status away from you....it just isn't relevant anymore. The only "Hall of Legends" member we had left on this roster was forced out the door by Shawn Warstein in an elaborate plot to get the title off the one man who everyone thought may never lose it otherwise.

Now here you are, sitting here as a "legend" among boys at a time when our roster is probably the weakest it has ever been. I was successful during my era, and many people would say my era was weak compared to your first one. It is all speculative. It is all hindsight. The best now is what matters. Just like I cling to the Top 50 All Time list, you hang on to that Hall of Legends win loss record because deep down inside you know that your accomplishments since being back are like winning the Special Olympics. The only good competitors we had on this roster, like I said, have beaten you.

I never thought it would be this way this early. I never planned on being thrown into a title picture this soon. I planned on taking baby steps, working my way back into the Main Event scene. I am here for the long haul and I wanted to earn everything I got. You haven't earned anything except an ass kicking. You've put yourself on a pedestal you feel is too high to reach. You've glorified your bronze medal and told the world you're the best damn C student on the planet. Like I said, for me, right now, in my current situation, the Hart Title means a lot to me.

As good as you say you are, the Hart Title should be a downgrade.

But you know who you are, Cent. You know what really lies beneath that skin. A yellow bellied coward who would rather eat the scraps than hunt on his own.

Which brings me to my next point. You got all hot and bothered about me bringing up Santos and Noah. Yes, they beat you before you were champion. I get that. You didn't because you are signle minded and shallow. So, let me explain it to you a little better so you can sleep tonight.

I asked why they didn't take your title. My point was that they are both championship quality. They are the only ones on your little "list" who are still on this roster who aren't champions. You talk about throwing challenges out there, even ones they told you not to, but who have you really challenged? Those below you. You didn't throw out challenges to the upper tier. You didn't even mention their names until you had the belt, then you let them fade off into the abyss while you sat back in your comfortable bubble. Take on anyone? Why not take on those on your "level"?

Because you'd lose, again.

You know it, and I know it.

The world knows it

So tomorrow night, hell yeah its gonna be epic. Hell yeah its gonna be the match of the year. Hell yeah we are gonna put on a show.

And oh, just to cover my bases....I will do what it takes to win this title. Just like Shane got the pin, but didn't necessarily beat "you." Just like the fact that a loss is a loss is a loss, even if you don't lose. Keep ya eyes peeled, be ready because Chaos can strike at any moment.

Prepare to be what you know inside yourself to be........

Perpare to be Equalized......

Oh, and PS....Mastermind.

You suck donkey ass.