"Wow hombre, just wow.

Chu drink a 5 hour energy or somethin'?

I hadn't heard from chu in quite some time. I thought maybe chu were starting to doubt yaself, beginning to think that maybe all dis Shawn Warstein hype really is bull caca after all. So I let chu wallow in chor own self misery for a bit, and I went back home to spend Easter with mi familia. Travel es a bit delayed because of all dis virus shit, so it took me til now to finally get back to my villa here in de states. What do I see when I get back? Oh, you've been a busy boy, ese. Si, three promos in a row. 3 promos that all further emphasized de same point, Shawn Warstein is playing defense.

Sure, it is a title DEFENSE but I no mean that. I mean chor back es against de wall holmes, chu have no place else to go. Chu look desperate. I sat back, cooled for a bit, had a nice weekend filled with wine, good food and laughter. Chu had a weekend filled with trying to prove chorself......to chorself. Debating with chorself on why Shawn Warstein is a total and complete waste of oxygen. Dat little chart chu came up with, de little Powerpoint.....cute. Real cute. But real desperate and pathetic too. Chu have been here a while, der are things on there I cannot qualify for. Top 50 All-Time, Hall of Legends, I am too new. Universal Champion, chu pointed out I've never been. Yeah because I have never had a shot til now. Chu have been doing everything in ya power to cover up the fact that chu have failed as a human being since I've been here. Chicano, the name of dis game is the Uni title. If chu not trying to win dat, chu in de wrong business. Chu could very well have pulled de trigger at any time, "forced their hand", at any time........Lethal Lottery, Cuntfest, whenever. But chu were scared. If chu were confident in yaself to beat de campeón on those nights....why wait?

Because chu had to kick him when he was down.

Fuzz---er----Warstein (chu don't deserve to be called Fuzz anymore), chu had to pick ya spot like a vulture picks bones........

"It was my right that I earned by being DOMINATE for the better part of a year."

No holmes, chu was dominant ONCE, coasted for a full pregnancy, then struck when the champ had his pants around his ankles. THAT es what chu did.


I never said chu wasn't good, Warstein. I never said chu suck.....I save dat term for Griff. No, what I said was chu es a coward. Chu isn't as good as chu think chu are....and chor ego es what es going to get chu hurt. Chu want to turn around and blame Engy for chor ambush, and then try to point fingers at me and tell me I would have done the same thing. Deflecting, a sign of worry. A sign of panic.

Ese, yes. Si, I would have cashed it in, but not the WAY chu did. I couldn't live with myself if I had to look at the belt over my shoulder everyday and know that I had to beat up an already beaten man to do it. I want to win it, fair and square. I would have cashed it in.......but I would have picked a different spot. I would have given de campeón a fighting chance....I would have done it with de pride and integrity dat title deserves. Chu did it like a rat.

On de inverse....chu realize I can pin or submit Griff as well, and BECOME de campeón, right? Do I wanna do it dat way, no, but I could. De fact that chu even bring it up at all shows that chu es looking to de future.....looking for a way out.....looking to avoid Hanari Carnes. Chu es de type of guy who climbs over a glass wall to see whats on the other side. Chu can see and predict de future it seems, but inside I can tell chor having second thoughts.

I can see it in ya eyes, hear it in ya voice......

Shawn Warstein may actually be believing that he can lose.

It es okay, holmes, its a natural human emotion. Fear es healthy sometimes. Embrace it.

Chu make dese claims about me, but can't handle when I make claims about chu. Chu think dat just because I have an accent I can't read? I can't do homework? 2x Universal Champ eh? Well, de first one was before 2014 den because chu hasn't held de strap lately, my friend. OVER SIX YEARS AGO. Now, Si, chu es one of de OG's here. I get it. Hall of Legends and all. Fine and dandy.....Chu was X-Treme champ for what feels like ever. Coolio, partner. But de richest prize in dis game had eluded chu for so long. Chu es like the pirate searching for gold and ruby's and only came up with bronze and quartz. Sure, its a nice haul, but its not de best haul. That has been my point. Chu have been good, and I don't think anyone es taking that away, but chu haven't been "great". Chu haven't been de superhero chu paint in your mind. Chu haven't been a fraction of de man that chu--and only chu--paints chorself to be.

Sure, did I know chu like some others do. No. But I KNEW you. Like I said before but chor ass es too self-absorbed to listen, chu es one of de reasons I come here. Chu were a campeones campeón. I looked up to Fuzz. I saw what I thought was greatness....but that was a mask. That was a tough exterior layer hiding the bitch made puta that lies within. Chu pulled de wool over my eyes.....ya, cha got me, but I will not make de same mistake again. I don't think chu care if I or anyone else no like chu......

.........but I think chu care if we respect chu. I think chu are crying out to be respected. Chu feel chu deserve to be.

"I told you that Shawn was always Fuzz, but Fuzz was never Shawn. What does that tell you Chico?"

It tells me that Fuzz was the man chu want to be, Warstein es de man chu are. It tells me that chu want to live up to de accolades of the name chu made a living with, but inside chor stomach is churning and bubbling. Chu couldn't keep yaself hidden any longer. Chu had to show ya true colors to be happy with yaself because chu could never live up to de name chu made us all believe in.

"It tells you that Fuzz isn’t gone. He’s right here.”

Where? I no see Fuzz. I don't see de man who took on all comers and earned a spot in de hearts of all the XWF Universe. No. Chu may seem on de surface as if your just being edgy, but there es no life in those eyes. A mindless, soulless robot who goes thru the motions but doesn't have the complexity or capacity to truly feel passion. Shawn, I see definition of disappointment. Chu wanna know why I said chu es a failure? Because chu can never and will never live up to de man chu pretended to be.

Anyone can challenge me, but it’s up to ME to allow them to. Just because you ask doesn’t mean I have to say yes.

"If that es not de definition of coward, I am not sure what is. So its managements fault when chu lose? Whose gonna yell about being screwed? For someone who fancies demselves on doing what they want, when dey want, chu sure have yaself in a pickle, don't ya? Yes, chu are THEIR campeón but not just because they are trying to pave a path for chu to succeed--chu will never be Robert Main, de posterboy for overprotecting parenting--but chu es valuable to dem in some regard. They can use chu now. Use chu like a puppet. Damn, I sound like a broken record. Once again chu es too self-absorbed to realize that chu never forced anyone's hand...........dey wanted dis because dey can control chu. THEY allowed dis, because dey can control chu. They couldn't control Engy. Dey knew that if they strapped on de seatbelt too tight, he could leave at any time and take their richest prize with him. He had his ace, they only had an off suit pair. Chu.....homie chu can't leave because chu need de constant validation, de constant pat on de back.......chu need to be able to look in de mirror and tell chorself that Shawn Warstein es everything Fuzz aspired to be.

I say fuck both of chu.

Chor promos are like de original Star Wars movies. Crap, best yet, halfway decent. At de end of the day chu have nothing on me. Chu try to downplay my accomplishments but chu just sound petty. I am here for a reason. I impressed enough people enough times to get a shot at the belt chu stole. Call me what chu want, and say what chu will, but there are some people out der who think Hanari Carnes is de perfect storm. Dey think I may be de only one who has what it takes to beat chu. Laugh at me? That's their prerogative....but at de end of the day the one who es going to get de last laugh es me. Say what chu will, and say it with authority and conviction so dat others will believe de same way chu try to. Chu slipped back into the ONLY thing ANYONE has on me here.......my accent. Chu want me to talk normal. Chu say I sound estúpido. That es all anyone ever has to throw in my face.....and look where that has gotten dem. When de lights in Pittsburgh turn off and de arena closes for de evening........de only one who will be estúpido es chu for thinking that Hanari Carnes was something chu could take lightly.

Never take lightly.

But I advise chu tread lightly.

Because chu have two days left as campeón universal.



.......Continued from Pinata, Part 1.

........Hanari looked over at the other guard, his bat covered in blood and a smile on his face.

"Let me tell chu a story, holmes. Take a walk down memory lane, shall we?"

He pulls over a chair, skidding it across the tile with a screeching wail. He sits down and adusts his collar, rolling up his sleeves.

"Chor gonna wanna pay attention for dis one, holmes."

The man tried to say something under the gag, but Hanari hushed him.

"No talk....jus' listen."

A Long Time Ago On An Island Not So Far Away...

It was a muggy Caribbean day. The type of day that made it a chore to go outside. The type of day where your shirt would stick to you, and there would be a constant wet feeling on every inch of exposed skin.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Smoke from several grills filled the air at ground level and there was music blaring from several residences. Despite the terrible heat, there was an excitement in the air. The Dominican in the summertime is a fun place to be.

The sizzle of the grill could be heard from a decent distance. The chicken, pork and assorted vegetables were getting a nice coating of char on them. The cooler next to the grill was stocked with various beer, water, juice and soda.

On the far side of the yard, near the fenced in area, there was a series of Piñatas. They hung from branches that extended off the mossy oak tree hanging over the yard. There was already a line of children ready to hit them.

The cool thing about a Piñata is you never truly know whats inside until you break it.

There was a broomstick with the head ripped off, which would be used as the tool to get whatever was inside the multi colored confetti donkeys. It lay propped against the deck. A woman emerged from one of the houses with homemade blindfolds.

The Following Dialogue is in Spanish, this is the translation:

"Kimberly, the food is almost done!"

The man in front of the grill shouted, a sheen layer of sweat covered his brow.

"The kids want to hit the piñatas first, Alejandro. They've been waiting."

The woman had a soft smile. Her was was leathery from decades in the tropical sun, and her eyes a bit sunken. But her smile was as warm as the air outside. Her teeth glowed white, in stark contrast with her sun-kissed skin.

The man wearing the beater wiped the sweat from his forehead with his equally sweaty arm. Not super productive.

"Eat first, then fun. Cold food is worse than less candy."

There was a small picnic bench in the corner of the fenced in yard. A few of the neighborhood boys had stolen it and dragged it to a shaded area under some trees. It was their own little meeting spot.

"Well, lets ask the birthday boy!" She had a warm laugh too, even if it was forced.

Hanari was sitting on the shaded picnic bench, waiting to receive his blindfold.

"What do you want to do, honey? It is your birthday, after all."

"Can't we do both?" Typical kid question. He never really put a lot of thought into hitting a piñata while eating. Hanari was always one to want it all, always a "go-getter".

"Honey, no, its one or the other."

"Piñatas" he said, quickly. She pointed to the rainbow donkeys. The man rolled his eyes.

"Food is ready, for those who want it!"

She handed him a blindfold.

"You know the beauty of Piñatas?" She asked him. He shrugged.

"You never know what is inside. And you won't know until you go for it. Until you crack them open...there could be anything inside. But no matter what is inside, it will help you. If you are having a bad day, a good day, a mediocre day.....come out and swing for the fences. The riches inside will be the reward for the courage it takes to swing."

Hanari was profounded. He never put that much time into thinking about Piñatas.

She smiled, handing him the blindfold.

He put it on, and she led him over towards the first one.

Each time he made contact, the other children in the party cheered. He heard whatever was inside hit the grass, but it was tradition not to look until all of the Piñatas were broken.

"Okay last one" he heard her say. He took a deep breath. He swung a few times, but didn't feel the broomstick strike anything. He was just short.

"Try again hunny, this one is a bit tougher than the others. A bit higher up."

"He may not be able to reach" he heard his mother whisper to another party goer. "We may need to lower it."

Hanari would not settle. He would not allow himself to fail. Even if he had to jump, he would break that Piñata.

3, 4, 5 swings. A few sighs and some groans from the kids in the crowd. They wanted the candy just as much as he did.

"Last time, sweety, then we will lower it."

This was his last chance. He drew back, completely blind, and gave it his all.

Swooooosh.

Crack.

He heard the spoils hit the ground.

He pulled up the blindfold and saw the trail of broken Piñatas and the candy mounds under them. As was custom, he got first dibs.

As he was bending down to grab his prize, he felt himself get hip checked. He went flying, and hit his face on the crab grass. Flipping onto his back and sitting, he saw another neighborhood kid, Juan, grabbing a whole handful of the candy he deserved.

His mother gasped.

A few kids tried to break it up, but he was bigger than them.

"This is mine, I earned this!" he yelled, pulling a candy pile to his chest.

"How so? You didn't do any of the work to get it!"

"All this time, he didn't let me take one swing. I stood there and watched him take shot after shot, but when it was my birthday I couldn't hit the last one! Why did he get another chance and I didn't?! I didn't wanna do this stupid game, but he took it too far. This is mine!"

There really was no logic to his argument. (Sound familiar?)

Hanari was back on his feet. He was never the type to fly off the handle or to go into something without calculating it first.

"Are you gonna do something, birthday boy?"

"I'll tell you what......." his voice didn't have an ounce of shake to it. "Fight me. Fight me for it. One on one, with honor. If you beat me, you get all the candy. If I win, I get my candy and you have to apologize for being a donkey's ass!"

His mother gasped at the curse word, but she didn't step in.

"You're on." The two stepped towards each other...........


Hanari put the bat under the chin of the man.

"People are going to try to take what isn't theirs. People feel entitled."

He lifted the mans head up with the bat. He had lost a lot of blood by this point.

"Juan tried to take what wasn't his. I had to put him in his place."

The man looked up at Hanari with pleading eyes.

"I got my candy." [i]He snickered. [/i]

"This weekend, I'll get my candy again. Shawn es Juan....a self-entitled little brat with a chip on his shoulder. But chu know, I won't let it bother me........I'll just go in and do what I do best........"

The man had a look of terror in his eyes as Hanari brought the bat back.

"Do you know the beauty of Piñatas?"

The man screamed a muffled gag under the duct tape as he brought the bat forward.