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Shawn Warstein · (02-21-2020)

February 6, 2020
4:35pm
Atlanta, Georgia

“La Cucaracha”

Every time I hear that damn song I dread it, because that can only mean that Noah has somehow located the keys inside of my house and taken it out for a little joy ride. He knows better, it’s an undefeated competitor and deserves respect of one, yet to him it’s just an object for enjoyment.

The lights shine bright against the garage door and cast my shadow on the door. Noah looks up at me from the car and puts his head down on shame. Slowly he reaches for the door handle and opens the door.

“Listen… I know what you’re going to say….”

“Really do you now?”

“Yeah. Don’t take the Bu’ out because…”

“And yet here we are.”

Noah shrugs and tosses the keys to me, as we both turn to walk into the house. When the door Subaru slams shut.

*Thud*

I quickly turn around, as Noah gets a slight grimace on his face. He slowly turns around as Vita comes power walking right up to us.

“Did you forget I was in the car?”

She leans over trying to get Noah’s attention. He doesn’t move, only the expression on his face changes from a grimace to a scrunched half smile.

“Hello Vita, didn’t notice you in the car….”

“Hey pops.” She says to me flippantly. “So? Did you forget that I was in the car?”

“No… well yeah… it’s just when I saw Dad I freaked out. He hid the keys V I basically stole the car.”

“IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO GET THE CAR!”

“While that’s true Vita, it was my money that paid for everything…. so I’m just saying.”

I pat Noah on the shoulder and turn to walk inside. The door opens up to a foyer shrouded in darkness. I flip the light switch, as the room illuminates. I toss my keys on the table next to the door and walk towards the kitchen. I open up the fridge and peek my head inside, when I hear Noah and Vita walking in and shutting the front door behind them. I grab a few VB’s and pop the caps off and set them on the counter.

“I’m telling you V, it was an honest mistake.” Noah snatches the beer off of the counter and takes a swig. He wipes his mouth. “Right Dad? Mistakes happen?”

I shrug as Noah’s demeanor changes. Vita grabs her drink off of the counter. Her glare never leaves Noah.

“Yeah pops, people make mistakes right?”

I finish my drink rather quickly. I walk past both of them, I don’t dare say a word. I pat Vita on the shoulder. I begin to walk towards my bedroom, and I stop in the middle of the doorway. I turn to the both of them.

“You know mistakes are only human. I’m thinking you guys will be fine.”

I disappear into the bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I flop onto the bed and place my phone on the wireless charging dock. I reach under my pillow and pull out a remote for the TV. I begin to flip through some channels. I eventually end up on the typical ESPN. I allow my mind to wander while the analysts are going on about nothingness.

*Bzzzzz Bzzzzz*

The phone lights up, and I pay it no mind. Suddenly my door bursts open. Noah and Vita saunter into the room.

“What the fuck guys….”

“Dad listen, you know what we need?”

“No.” I said while rubbing the bridge of my nose.“I don’t know what we need. I know what I need and that’s to finally sleep. This past month killed me. You need to rest too.”

“Yeah, Nah fuck that. We need a night out of fun.”

“Yeah we found out that there’s….”

“Lemme just stop you right there. I’m not going anywhere. You two should go out and have fun.”

*Bzzzzz Bzzzzz*

The phone lights up again, and catches both of their attention.

“You gonna answer that?”

“No.” As I lay my head back down on the mattress. “It’s just a text it’ll be there in the morning.”

“First of all…” Vita snatches the phone off of the side table. “It’s barely before five, and you’re wanting to go to sleep? And secondly why are they texting you?”

Vita throws the phone at me and it lands in the crevice under my arm and body.

“Ok I’m not going to sleep, it’s called resting. Also I don’t even know who this is….”

Vita stomps off as I show Noah the phone.

“Yeah Dad, you do. But why are they texting you? Better question is how did they get your number?”

“Whatever man. I get texts all the time from people..”

Noah nods and sits down next to me.

“Well what Vita was about to say was there’s a carnival a few towns over. We are gonna head there and blow off some steam. You should join us. It’ll be fun to get out of your own head for a night, or you can stay home like a fucking cunt. Your choice.”

“Thanks Noah but I’ll pass.”

“Well we will be leaving in about an hour. So if you change your mind…” Noah pats the bed and stands up and walks out of the room. I grab the phone not looking at it and place it back on the charging pad.

Curiosity eventually gets the better of me, as I roll over and grab my phone. I don’t know what they were talking about but I’ve never seen this number once in my life. The pale glow illuminates my face as I respond to the text.

[Image: iphone-L3gw.png]

I put the phone down on the side table, and rolled to the edge of the bed. My feet hit the carpet, as I stand up stretching.

Well I guess I’m going to a fucking carnival. Great just what I wanted to do on one of my few off weeks. I just wanted to relax and do nothing. Holding two titles in the XWF is a drain on the mind and body. All things considered maybe a night out isn’t the worst thing.

I walk out into the kitchen where Noah and Vita are talking about nothing in particular. I walk right past them and grab my jacket off of the coat rack, and walk back into the kitchen.

“So are we leaving or what?”

Both of them get a confused look on their face. Neither one of them had prepared for me to actually go with them and it was painfully obvious that this was one situation that they would have preferred to have been left alone.

“Don’t let me take the air out of your tires, but remember you asked me to come remember?”

Noah shrugs his shoulder and snatches the keys off of the counter. He cracks a small smile and whispers as he walks past me.

“Cockblock.”

Vita rolls her eyes as she walks past me, but she’s not as quiet as Noah is.

“What he said.”

I hold up my arms, and let them fall to my sides.

“You asked me, remember?!”

We all walk out to the car, Noah and Vita head for the Navigator while I head towards the Subaru. Noah turns around and his face lights up.

“Oh hell yeah….”

He didn’t think twice about jumping in the driver’s seat.

“Shotgun”

Vita exclaims as she hops in the passenger seat. I just shake my head and open the back door and sit down.

“Did you really think that I was going to take the front seat from you Vita?”

“I dunno, better safe than sorry.”

“Fair enough.”

Noah turns the key in the ignition, and off we go.It wasn’t long before we were on the main highway towards the carnival. Noah and Vita blissfully talking in the front seat as if I wasn’t even there. Honestly I’m okay with that. I don’t want to ruin their fun, but I think I might have. I’m not trying to think about anything wrestling related tonight. Tonight I just want to sit back, relax and have some fun, without the prying eyes constantly ruining my night. Yeah, that’s just what I need. My eyelids become heavy as I begin to drift off in the back seat.

“Aww look at him all tuckered out. Have you noticed something different about him lately?”

Noah checks the rear view mirror and gets a sly grin on his face.

“It’s been really rough for him lately. I kinda feel bad for the cunt.”

“What could be bad for him? You’re the Tag Champs, he’s the X-Treme Champ, briefcase holder, and he’s basically got the Universal title any time he wants. I guess it’s a first world problem.”

Noah reaches over and places a hand on Vita’s thigh.

“It’s not a work thing.”

“Okay… sounds ominous… do I have to drag it out of you?”

Noah takes one more glance back at me to make sure I was really asleep.

“His ex-wife Julia called him right after Cuntfest…”

“So?”

“Listen I don’t know the whole story, but apparently the last time they spoke it didn’t end well. He was in some other wrestling company, and just vanished.” Noah once again checks to make sure I’m still out. “Apparently he went on like a four day bender and ended up OD’ing. He honestly shouldn’t be here right now, and hearing from her can’t be a good thing mentally for him, so let’s just let him have this one…”

Vita nods and looks out her window.

“Shit… I forgot my wallet.”

Vita smiles and just shakes her head, as the camera fades.

The Afterthought:

Well it seems these days people are more concerned with “Did they or Didn’t they”, “Are they or Aren’t they”, when the reality of the situation is that it’s none of anyone’s business. What happens with Atara and myself outside of the arena is none of your fucking business. What happens with Noah and Vita, is none of your concern. The only thing that matters is that week in and week out we show up, we kick ass, and then we leave. It’s not that difficult of a concept to grasp. The fact that people are making it out to be this big deal is laughable.

Speaking of laughing stocks on the XWF’s roster...Who is this week's challenger on the docket...

Azrael Erebus.

Come on down tell them what they’ve won this week on Saturday Night Savage….

Well first off they have the opportunity to do something that no one has been able to do since September 28th 2019. That’s pinning me in a match…. Any match. The last time I lost was BEFORE Relentless. Let that sink in for just one moment. The last time someone bested me in competition was over five months ago. In that time Az you’ve been doing what exactly? Losing to Engy in what was clearly a pity match? A match that everyone knows that you didn’t deserve, or even earn. A match that was such a throw away that I was t even inclined to attempt a cash in, because simply put you couldn’t do enough damage on him to make it worth it. I am better off just waiting for someone with a little more…. umph.

Sure you’re going to come in here fresh off a loss, looking to prove something to yourself, and the fans. All while making them somehow believe in your idiotic horseshit. Do you really think anyone Believes that you are immortal? That you can for one instance fight death and come out on the otherwise unscathed? Death awaits all of us, and you are no exception. That’s just one of the many things that is wrong with this company in general.

When asshats like you running around, you fucking ruin everything. How the fuck is a normal human supposed to beat “a superhuman” alien. So I’m just going to treat you like a fucking human.

I watched you bleed in the middle of the ring on Warfare. I watched you get picked apart piece by piece. Slowly and methodically. Your opportunity against Engy, and like everything you have become…

You failed.

You failed to even make an impression on even the slightest scale. The thing about you and I is we like to talk about our pasts. We like to live in the glory days, about how we were both so dominant. How we were the top of the industry, but that’s where it stops. Well for one of us at least. While you dream of bringing the past back, I’ve set it aside and moved forward. I can live with my past accomplishments while still looking ahead. The past is all you have. You have the longest reign of any title holder ever in the XWF, for now. You were once feared. Now you’re nothing, with nothing to talk about now. So go ahead and talk all about your past. I don’t give a fuck.

That’s all you can honestly hang your hat on. You USED to be relevant. You USED to be a champion. You USED to be a respected roster member. Now anything people know you for is bringing those three crotch goblins known as the Blackwaters to this world. Here’s a suggestion, next time you want to procreate let me know. I’ll give you the morning after pill, or better yet a coat hanger, just need to nip that shit in the bud ASAP.

The last thing we all need is another “special” person walking around as if they mean anything. You are flawed, you are weak. You are destined to go down as my next victim. That will put me just one step closer to what I really want.

And what is it that I really want?

Simple. I want to rid this entire place of the people like you. The Bastards, the zombies, the superheroes and yes that’s including my fucking car. The fact that people believe that you are more than you really are is a fucking joke. It’s a black spot on the history of the company. I am going to enjoy peeling back the curtain so everyone can see you for what you really are.

Nothing more than a fraud.

I’ve lived through hell. I’ve seen much worse than you can even imagine. If you think for one second that I am going to allow you to walk away with MY title, then you spaceman are sadly mistaken. You have been blessed with the opportunity to stand across the ring from me. I remember when I first came back, I got an email from you.

“Man the Spaceman versus Fuzz sounds like a money match.”

I wanted to be mean, and just say,

“Who the Fuck are you?”

I bit my tongue, and just said. Yeah sounds great. I’ve got a lot going on right now, but in the future sure thing. And now that day is finally here. You finally got your wish. You get to stand in the ring across from me and see what the hype is all about.

You get to see what everyone has been saying live in the flesh. When I beat you down it’s going to be an embarrassment for your entire bloodline. Yet I know what’s going to happen. You disappear for a little bit, “fly” off to the moon, get married or some shit, and before we know it you’ll pop back up like a bad case of gonorrhea running through a frat house.

Good thing there’s a pill for that.

That is until our next flare up.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Carnival Part 1: Who is this?
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