WEDNESDAY - 5TH FEBRUARY 2020
THE XWF CONTINUES IT'S IRELAND/UK TOUR.
THIS IS...
WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!!
From !!!
ABERDEEN SPORTS VILLAGE, ABERDEEN, SCOTLAND
MATCH #1:
MASTERMIND
- vs -
MICHAEL ARCHER JUNIOR
MATCH #2:
MADISON DYSON
- vs -
CALVARY
- vs -
CADRYN TIBERIUS TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
MATCH #3:
AZRAEL EREBUS
- vs -
ROBBIE BOURBON NON TITLE MATCH IF ROBBIE BECOMES UNIVERSAL CHAMPION
THE MYSTERY OPPONENT WILL REVEAL THEMSELVES IN THE FIRST PROMO
HELL IN A CELL MATCH
MATCH #4:
GRIFFIN MCALISTER
- vs -
NOTORIOUS NED KAYE LAST MAN STANDING MATCH
MAIN EVENT:
PETER FN GILMOUR
- vs -
ATARA THEMIS X-TREME RULES
WINNER RECEIVES A SHOT AT THE HART CHAMPIONSHIP NEXT WARFARE
WEDNESDAY - 5TH FEBRUARY 2020
THE XWF CONTINUES IT'S IRELAND/UK TOUR.
THIS IS...
WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!!
From !!!
ABERDEEN SPORTS VILLAGE, ABERDEEN, SCOTLAND
The arena goes antiseptic white, almost blindingly so, as the odd opening notes to “Desire” hit. The main screen goes black though with nothing but the words “run engineer.exe” on them in blood red lettering that looks like computer code. Suddenly, that gives way to a strange inverted triangle, a brief flash of the words “Vox Aeterna”, and then as the music starts to kick into higher gear the Engineer appears at the top of the ramp as the bright white light starts to get pock marked with specks of red that race over the crowd. Madison Dyson appears next to him, jawing with fans and generally being a huge bitch. The main screen intersperses shots of The Engineer in action in the ring, cut with red lines of computer code, that strange triangle mark, and the words “Vox Aeterna” flashing like a subliminal message.
The Engineer walks calmly to the ring, title slung over his shoulder with Madison in tow. He will usually be wearing black lipstick, a trace of red or black eyeliner, and his curly hair will be pulled back from his scalp. When he gets to the ring, he'll slide in under the bottom rope, crawling towards a camera at apron level. When he gets close to it he'll smile playfully and whisper “How do you want me?” in time with the music before kipping up to his feet and demanding a microphone.
See that? When you're champ you get the full entrance to just come out and shoot the shit. He smirks, drawing a mixed reaction from the crowd. But hey...let's cut right to brass tacks, shall we? ROBBIE BOURBON! Invoking the name draws some pops from the crowd. That was one seriously HEINOUS attack you pulled on Fuzz! I FELT that, Robbie! He pounds his chest, doing his best to look extra empathetic. You didn't need to do all that to poor Fuzz. But, you did make your point! You are willing to absolutely destroy anyone I offer a Universal Championship match to! So, to that end, I have a list of people here that I would like to FORMALLY challenge. Robbie, I hope you're listening.
The champ takes out his cell phone and proceeds to read from the list.
Instagram influencers! All of them. Collectively.
Everyone responsible for the movie adaptation of Cats.
….well, except Judi Dench. She gets one pass. One.
Tyler Perry. Because, just stop.
Phantom Panzer.
Macklemore.
Gabriel Iglesias. For showing the world it's possible to somehow be morbidly obese and NOT be funny.
Phantom Panzer.
Alinity.
The car that killed Paul Walker. If it is dead, kill it again.
Noah Jackson's mom.
Phantom Panzer
Andy Dick. No really, ANDY DICK.
And Last, but not least.....SARA L-
The fans wait with baited breath!
SARAH LEVY! Schitt's Creek is a great show, but I just hate her face. It's a thing, I can't explain it.
He puts his phone away. So there you have it Robbie, the definitive list of my Universal Title challengers. Please make their final moments as horrifying and agonizing as possible. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE! His music hits and the fans start to boo resoundingly. Madison just shrugs her shoulders and goes to hold the ropes down for the champ to leave, but he stops suddenly like he just remembered something.
Oh, wait...wait...wait! Cut the music! I almost forgot!
The music stops.
Robbie, here's the thing man. I KNOW you want another shot. I KNOW! And I would be inclined to give you one, but....there are just SO MANY people ahead of you! And....
Madison suddenly walks up and takes the mic from the champion. Actually, boo, there's nobody!
The Engineer cants his head in confusion. He mouths “nobody?” Madison nods her head and hands the mic back.
NOBODY?! He looks about incredulously. Huh. Maybe that's why some people have been talking about how my Universal Title reign sucks. Maybe that's why some people have been grousing that I'm a bad champion. Except... he points at the camera. That's . I'm sorry, I mean...developmentally disabled. Because why would it be MY Fault that the Universal Championship is becoming the dullest part of the show when I'm standing RIGHT HERE and you're all....he points up the ramp....BACK THERE, doing NOTHING.
Because, here's how this wrestling thing works fellas. And I'm not just directing this at one person, I'm directing this at the whole damn locker room. Here's how this wrestling thing works: if you think somebody is a shit champion, do something and CHANGE that. It's that simple! Throw your hat up in the ring! Step up to the plate! Insert “grabbing life by the balls” cliché here! You don't like it? #DoSomething!
And if you're gonna sit back there and bitch and moan about how bad the Universal Title picture looks right now, honey, that ain't my fault....IT'S YOURS! So either step up to me, or sit down and SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Robbie, you want another crack? Well, hell, I guess you're still first in line. And that's a damn shame!
You got it. March Madness. All over again.
Many of the fans pop at the huge announcement. Others look like they wish they could have seen something else.
Alright, hit my music for realsies. And to any of you who are disappointed, hit up your favorite noodle spine on Twitter and have at 'em about it. He drops the mic as his music hits, ushering him out. The XWF then goes to commercials.
With no warning at all, "Burning Bright(Field on Fire) by Nine Inch Nails plays over the speakers! Stepping out onto the ramp slowly, carrying his 24/7 briefcase, is none other than Ned Kaye! The crowd audibly pops for him, louder than usual, as he walks down to the ring. Once he's on the steps, he places his briefcase besides them and gets handed a microphone by a ringside crewman. He looks out at the crowd and smiles, raising a single fist into the air and watching the many fans in the stands follow suit. He drops his arm, ducking under the top rope and stepping into the ring. With a proud smile, he takes in the atmosphere and begins to speak.
"So, Aberdeen, how're y'all doing tonight?"
The stadium cheers loudly in response, their energy causing Ned's smile to grow.
"That's great! I've been doing pretty alright myself!"
Before Ned can continue, the fans in attendance begin to chant.
YOU PINNED NOAH CLAP, CLAP, CLAPCLAPCLAP
Ned chuckles, taken a bit off guard. He thinks over his response and brings the microphone close to his lips, letting himself get a little smug.
"You're damn right I did!"
The crowd pops, for the first time in a long time showing a majority support of Ned.
"But that's a little besides the point. I'm not here to declare a TV title shot or throw some harsh words at Griffin MacAlister for later tonight. Nor am I discussing my match with Internet Champion Geri Miller! I'm preparing for those matches just as much as I did for Fuzz and Noah. No, tonight I'm here to reaffirm something I said months ago. In case you didn't hear or didn't remember, a few months ago I declared that I was going to refuse to re-sign with the XWF should I fail to attain the Universal Championship on or before March Madness. To put it simply, if I cannot win the Universal Title by March 29th, then my time with this company, with my friends here, with all of you watching at home... will end. That'll be that."
The audience in attendance begins to chant "NO!" repeatedly while Ned looks out, his tone more somber and subdued on this subject.
"On that note, our current Universal Champion has chosen Dax Harris as his opponent for this year's March Madness in Las Vegas, Nevada. Although I think Dax is a great guy and a better wrestler than a lot of people give him credit for, the reason he was chosen is what irks me. I'm sure our Champion will insist that it was purely random, but I can't help but find that doubtful at best. But so be it. I am not the kind of guy who's going to interfere with Dax's moment. I don't have an issue with Dax."
Ned pauses.
"I do, however, have a problem with "The Engineer," as he calls himself. And as it just so happens, I have placed my XWF career on the line. The stakes have never been higher for me. What better place to put all my chips on the table than in Vegas?"
There's a large cheer for Ned as the crowd pieces together what Ned's leading to.
"And it just so happens that I have a briefcase that entitles me to a match at the time I want, at the place I want, and with the title I want. So how's this sound for the Main Event of March Madness 2020: Ned Kaye Vs. The Winner of Harris Vs. The Engineer for the XWF Universal Championship?"
The crowd erupts into loud, supportive cries. Ned nods, his demeanor softening again.
"Alternatively, should The Acting Engineer choose to, I will gladly face him one-on-one without him having to face Harris that night. Hell, I'll even guarantee that Dax will have a Universal Title Shot on the following Warfare if I win the Universal Title. But that's out of my hands now. You know the match I want, Engy. You know when I want it. The ball's in your court now."
"Now, I fully understand that announcing all of this will put me firmly in the sights of a big man with a big chip on his shoulder. I saw what Robbie Bourbon did to the Tag Team Champions and I am fully aware what this cash-in announcement makes me: a target. But if you think some backstage tantrums are going to scare me away from the Universal Title, then you don't know who you're dealing with."
As the fans, once again, erupt into a chorus of cheers, "X-Men Theme" by Powerglove hits over the PA system, causing a chunk of those cheers to turn into boos. Ned Kaye looks towards the ramp, confused, as Big D walks out onto the ramp dressed in a casual attire of jeans and a blue polo.
PIP: "I don't think Ned was referring to HIM when he said 'big man.'"
HEATHER: "I don't know what Big D wants and I don't believe Ned Kaye does, either.
Big D heads down the aisle, giving fives to the few fans that want them, before climbing up the steps and into the ring. As Ned continues to look at him with suspicion, Big D walks over and grabs a mic.
"Ned, you and I have been good friends for quite some time now. We've fought beside one another in victory AND defeat, as well as AGAINST each other. That being said, I wanted to let you know that I will ALWAYS have your back......."
Big D extends his hand. Ned hesitates at first, but eventually grape his partner's hand and shakes it. D smiles before continuing.
"That being said, Ned, I know you'll always have mine, as well. Whether it be in OR out of the ring, I know I can count on you to do the right thing........"
Big D pauses, sounding almost a bit choked up with his last few words. Ned seems genuinely concerned for him, but D speaks again before his partner has the chance.
"You and I BOTH know I've been deserving of a Universal Title shot for a while now. I've beaten Scully in a Tag Team Match, pinned Peter Gilmour, AND took the Federweight Title off of Vinnie Lane....... that's THREE former Universal Champions that have fallen at my feet!!!!"
Big D sighs.
"But no matter what I do, no matter who I beat, it's never enough. I can't compete with random drawings, or people picking a file out of a drawer..........."
To the shock of everyone in attendance, tears begin to drip down Big D's cheeks. A sympathetic Ned puts his hand on his partner's shoulder, but D shrugs it off, confusing everyone.
"I've worked my ass off every day for the past year and have nothing to show for it besides ten Title reigns that nobody gives a shit about! I have the vessel of our current Champion the biggest challenge of their entire TV Title run, and who's their first challenger?! Robbie fucking Bourbon. There's no Lacklan, no Tony Santos. Centurion is Hart Champion, Chris Page and Robert Main are preoccupied.......... but STILL Big D isn't considered!!!!!"
Ned walks over and puts his arm around his friend, who pushes his arm away.
"Ned............ I appreciate what you're trying to do, but nothing's gonna make me feel better until I've gotten my Title shot............
Big D puts his face in his hand, crying. Ned looks at him with concern, but doesn't approach him after the previous failed attempts. Finally, D takes a deep breath and says something no-one expected.
"Which is why I'm out here............. to Challenge YOU to a match for your 24/7 briefcase............"
Ned Kaye looks completely stunned, as the fans begin to boo. Big D looks absolutely ashamed of himself as he looks over at Ned, awaiting a response. Ned stands across from his friend in silence, trying to come to terms with what he's hearing.
"D.... Daniel...."
He sighs, shaking his head, Big D's request cutting him deep.
"If you take this briefcase from me, that's it for me in the XWF. God knows a match isn't just going to get handed to me. It never does for people like you and I. I love the XWF. I love the fans, hell, I get along with a fair bit of the roster. But I put all that on the line- I put my dream come true at stake so I could prove I belong here. I can't just walk back on that, D. A man is only as good as his word..."
The disappointment on Big D's face is obvious, as it looks like more tears may flow. He does his best to hold them back as he responds.
"You don't think I know that?! Ned, this is the hardest thing I've EVER had to do!................ but I've been left with no other choice. We both know Fuzz would never accept this challenge, and management isn't putting me in a Championship match anytime soon. That only leaves one other option..........."
As more tears flow, Big D points at Ned's briefcase.
"Had fate been in MY corner that night, it just as easily could've been YOU standing here in my position tonight. You wanna talk about someone keeping their word? What about me??? What about the promise we made to each other atop the rafters? We weren't friends back then, I could've just as easily thrown you off like you were nobody and claimed my prize. But I saw the future in you, Ned......... I could tell that you were gonna go on to become a much greater man than I could ever hope to be. I didn't want to throw it all away for my own selfish reasons and I paid for it............... but I still don't regret it. Ned, I'm asking you........ BEGGING YOU......... please........... give me the opportunity we both know I deserve. I know you won't back down from a challenge."
Ned hangs his head low, emotion rushing through him, a deep pain plain to see as he stands in the middle of the ring. Ned looks up to his friend, pleading him desperately, and places the microphone to his lips.
"So be it..."
"You want the match? You've got it next Warfare."
Ned extends his arm, a frown on his face distracting somewhat from his handshake offer. Big D grasps Ned's hand and shakes it, looking just as unhappy as his partner.
PIP:"Wow, what an announcement! In two weeks, it'll be Ned Kaye vs Big D for the first time, one on one."
HEATHER: "And there will be alot on the line in that match. You gotta wonder if something like this could end a friendship?"
Big D and Ned end their handshake, looking at one another. Both men looked like they could break down, but manage to keep it together. D finally looks at the mat and walks away, exiting the ring. He heads up the ramp and for the back, leaving a somber Ned Kaye alone. After a moment of inner thought, Ned makes his exit, too focused to interact with his eager fans as he walks up the aisle. The XWF once again goes to commercials.
The lights go out in the Arena, and the fans go crazy, and when they come back on, Mastermind is seen sitting on top of the corner post. The fans go crazy as he lifts his arms in the air, and then he jumps down and waits.
Re-Education(Through Labor) by Rise Against plays on the sound system and the rookie that is Michael Archer Junior made his way from the back to the ramp. He walks straight down to the ring and gets inside.
MATCH #1:
MASTERMIND
- vs -
MICHAEL ARCHER JUNIOR
DING! DING! DING!
The bell sounds as Mastermind begins to circle around the ring with Michael Archer. The two lock up in the center of the ring before Archer nails a quick jab to the gut followed by an uppercut. Mastermind is knocked upwards before another stiff kick catches the Master of Minds in his abdomen. Archer hooks the arm of Mastermind around his head before hitting a snap suplex! Mastermind comes off the mat from the impact, but Archer quickly just nails him with a forearm strike!
HEATHER: “He’s in a world of pain!”
PIP:: “Michael Archer may not be completely there up top!”
Michael grabs Mastermind who throws a wild right punch right to the abdomen backing Archer up a step. Mastermind rolls to his feet and beckons for Archer to approach him. Archer grins and rushes towards him before Mind simply sidesteps him and runs towards the ropes behind him. Archer stops and turns around to catch a…
SPEAR!
The Mind Masta knocks Archer onto his back before climbing on top of him and begins brutalizing him with a series of lefts and rights! Archer is trying to cover, but the experience of Mastermind seems to be breaking through the fortifications of Archer! Mastermind grabs the head of Archer and connects with a headbutt!
Mastermind staggers to his feet and rubs his head a bit. Archer rolls to his feet and rushes towards the veteran. He leaps into the air and connects with a dropkick sending Archer back into the corner. Mastermind begins to move out of the corner, but he’s met with a boot dotting his chin slumping him down into the corner! Archer staggers backwards and points at Mastermind before hitting the opposite corner. He rushes towards him with a head full of steam!
HEATHER: “Here comes something big!”
PIP: “OOOH! That had to hurt!”
An RKO brought down into a stunner catches the running Archer as Mastermind quickly leaps into the cover!
ONE…
TWO…
TH-NO!
Archer manages to get a shoulder up as the two stagger to their feet.
Mastermind wraps his arms around the head of Archer and quickly tights up on him. Archer feels the sleeper hold being wrapped around him, but there’s nothing he can do!
MIND SLEEPER!
HEATHER: “He’s falling asleep!”
PIP: “His arms are drooping!”
Mastermind falls to a seated position with his legs wrapped around them. Michael Archer is fading!
The referee lifts up Archer’s hand…
And it falls to the mat!
Michael Archer’s mind has been mastered!
WINNER: MASTERMIND
The Bell rings. Mastermind gets up and looks down at the unconscious Michael Archer Junior. He smirks. Suddenly the lights go out.
PIP: "What's this? Is Mastermind using the darkness to disappear?
HEATHER: "Just wait and find out."
Then Thunderstruck by ACDC starts playing.
PIP: "Wait a minute, this can't be?"
Only white lighting starts flickering on the stage as the song starts. Just as the lyrics get to 'Thunderstruck', there is a glow on the stage, and Kris The Hammer Von Bonn is lit up by the glow and he is holding his Hammer.
The arena starts to light up again. Mastermind is seen looking on from inside the ring.
HEATHER: "It's Kris The Hammer Von Bonn. Where has he been?"
Kris takes a step forward onto the ramp. HIs music dies out and then.......
Too much starts playing and Melanie 'Crayzee' Childs skips out onto the ramp and joins Kris.
PIP: "That's Melanie 'Crayzee' Childs as well this must mean....."
Antony The Jerk steps out onto the ramp. As the Misfits lights up on the X-Tron.
HEATHER: "Oh no.... It's Mr Loud Mouth Antony The Jerk!"
PIP: "The Misfits are back..... Where have they been? What are they doing back now?"
Mastermind waits in the ring. He looks back at the fallen Michael Archer Junior. Suddenly both Kris and Melanie are running towards the ring. Antony slowly follows behind.
Mastermind steps back towards Michael. As both Kris and Melanie hit the ring, in different directions.
Kris heads towards Mastermind, and goes to throw his hammer, Mastermind defends himself with his arms, taking his attention off of everything else. He looks up. Kris still has the hammer, and has a huge smile on his face. That's when Melanie hits Mastermind from behind with a steel chair. Mastermind goes down. As Melanie turns her attention to Michael Archer Junior, Kris walks up to Mastermind, and helps him to his feet.
PIP: "Oh this isn't going to be good. Melanie blasted Mastermind with the chair, and he is defenseless."
HEATHER: "Here comes HAMMER TIME, a.k.a The Pedigree,"
Kris places Mastermind in HAMMER TIME, and executes the move. Mastermind hits the ground hard.
Security sent by Smoking Bob Williams start running onto the stage, not before Melanie Crayzee Childs helps a defenseless Michael Archer Junior to his feet, and executes YOU'VE BEEN CRAYZEED - a.k.a Inverted Pile Driver, that turns into a DisArmer. But Melanie only uses it for a few seconds as Michael is out cold.
Just as the security start running from the stage down the ramp, Antony yells at both Melanie and Kris to get out of the ring. All 3 of them head into different directions, out over the barriers and disappearing into the crowds.
The security along with medical staff hit the ring, to look at both Mastermind and Michael Archer Junior who are completely out.
PIP: "Surely there has got to be consequences for the Misfits doing this to Mastermind and Michael Archer Junior,"
HEATHER: "Just as Mastermind said in one of his promos, it's the inmates running the asylum. Things have gotten out of control."
PIP: "I guess we'll go to a break, and try and get updates on how both Mastermind and Michael Archer Junior are doing? "
The commercials end, and the cameras go back stage to find the Medical Area. Wednesday Night Warfare General Manager Smoking Bob Williams walks out of the Medical room, and looks at the camera.
"Both Mastermind, and Michael Archer Junior have been taken to the nearest Hospital for check ups. I spoke with Mastermind before he was taken away, and he pleaded with me not to do anything about what happened with himself and the Misfits as he would like to handle it himself. Normally I wouldn't let anyone take matters into their own hands, and Management would do the job, but I have decided to let Mastermind try it his way, and if it doesn't work, then I'll step in."
"As for Michael Archer Junior well you'll have to wait and see on his condition from him."
"But anyway for now, let's get on with the rest of Warfare."
"BLOODMONEY" by Poppy hits the sound system as the main screen is flush with images of Madison Dyson in action interspersed with fascist imagery from Nazi era Germany including dramatic rallies, that fade into more modern scenes of right wing upheaval. These scenes are cut with shots of her bathed in a white light looking messianic, as well as her name in Fraktur font colored blood red.
As the music kicks up, The Calvary can be spotted in the corner of the arena with his chest puffed out. He flies down to the ring before slowly descending onto a turnbuckle where he gives out a mighty bellow. He pounds his chest before stepping down into the ring and cracking his knuckles.
The overhead lights in the arena go dim as strobe lights begin to flash in rhythm to the sound of thunder crashing in the distance. The crowd goes wild as the fog rolls thickly from the top of the ramp as Cadryn Tiberius slowly makes his way out of the back. He stands tall in the midst of the fog as a storm rumbles behind him. Cadryn begins walking down the ramp, slapping the hands of fans on the way down. Cadryn climbs the apron and enters the ring, pausing for a moment in the middle before tossing his white Stetson cowboy hat into the crowd.
MATCH #2:
MADISON DYSON
- vs -
CALVARY
- vs -
CADRYN TIBERIUS TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
We cut to ringside, where all three competitors in this match have already entered the ring!
PIP: "Whoa, those entrances flew by!"
HEATHER: "That sometimes happens when certain members of behind the scenes staff get behind."
PIP: "What are you talking about?"
HEATHER: "The relevant people already know. Let's get to the action!"
The bell rings and this triple threat contest is underway!
Madison makes a play at tying up with Cadryn, but she tricks him into a drop toe hold instead. Calvary approaches both of them and Madison instantly backs off, drawing some jeers from the crowd.
HEATHER: "I don't think she wants anything to do with this powerhouse of a newcomer."
Calvary shakes his head reproachfully, deadlifting Cadryn and dropping him with a military press style slam. Madison applauds him sarcastically, but still stays out of the fray. Calvary picks Cadryn back up, and he tries to counter with a couple quick elbows to the superheros gut, but is quickly overpowered once more! Calvary lifts Cadryn up for a big jackhammer slam....but he gets chop blocked by Madison! Cadryn lands on top of Calvary!
1...
2....Calvary throws Cadryn off of him!
HEATHER: "Almost had an accidental pin there."
PIP: "Probably would have been the only way Cadryn is pulling this off. The former King for a Day is not on his A-game here."
Calvary looks at Madison with more than a hint of irritation. He starts to approach her and she slides out of the ring. The crowd boos again! Calvary taunts her to get back in as the ref starts to count her out.
1....
2.....
3.....
4......
Madison finally runs around to the opposite side of the ring and slides in, where Calvary meets her with a lock-up. He quickly overpowers her, transitioning into a rear waist lock followed by a german suplex! Madison gets dumped on the back of her head! Staying on her, he hefts her up with ease and goes towards the turnbuckle, but Madison gouges him in the eye with a fingernail! Calvary yells in pain and drops her, and Madison rolls him up with a school boy!
1...Calvary kicks out quickly!
By this point, Cadryn has stumbled back to his feet and he sets eyes on Madison. He dropkicks her as she gets to her feet, but then runs straight into Calvary. He goes for another dropick but gets swatted down, followed up with a gutwrench from the mat up into another big time suplex that Calvary transitions into a cover!
1....
2.....Madison breaks up the count!
Madison grabs a helping of Cadryn's hair, bringing him vertical, before raking her nails in his face and hitting him with a sit out jawbreaker. Calvary then gets behind Madison and clubs her in the back, before returning to Cadryn. Cadryn tries to roll out of the way, but Calvary is too fast, and he scoops Cadryn up with a big time power slam! Calvary covers again!
1....
2......
3....NO! The ref is distracted by Madison, who seems to be bitching about an injury!
HEATHER: "Welp! Looks like the queen of mean might be out."
PIP: "If you buy that...."
Madison is histrionically trying to get the ref to help her up and out of the ring. The ref is asking her if she wants out of the match but she keeps insisting she needs help. Calvary look up incredulously from his pin attempt. He gets up and taps the ref on the shoulder, slapping his hands together one, two, three and pointing at Cadryn. Just then, Madison leaps into action, suddenly showing signs of life, pushing the ref out of the way and kicking Calvary right in the dick!
HEATHER: "Ah, the great equalizer!"
The ref, who stumbled into the turnbuckle, didn't catch it. Calvary sinks to his knees as Madison follows up with a running knee to his face! But Calvary still doesn't go down! Instead, he just looks pissed, and he starts to rally! Madison looks shocked and she backs away from him, almost tripping over Cadryn in the process! Calvary wheels around on Madison, approaching her menacingly, when the crowd starts to notice someone coming down the ramp!
PIP: "...the hell?"
HEATHER: "Look! It's EL-errrrr....VIBE BOY!"
Just then, the arena sound system comes alive with the smooth house techno tune of “Don'T Doubt Ur Vibe”! Many of the fans cover their ears in protest! Calvary still doesn't take his eyes off of Madison despite the distraction, but Vibe Boy gets up on the mat, distracting the ref! Calvary grabs Madison's arm and drags her into the center of the ring, and she responds by slapping him in the face to little effect! Calvary hefts her up onto his shoulders with ease, looking to delivery another big power move, when he spots Vibe Boy! This gives Madison just enough of an opening to fight off his shoulders and drop behind him. Meanwhile, Vibe Boy suddenly thrusts his hips in Calvary's direction and the sheer force of those vibes blasts poor Calvary up into the cheap seats!
PIP: "Oh wow!"
HEATHER: "He's outta here!"
The ref looks astonished, like he wants to call a DQ but he's still processing what the hell just happened! The music cuts abruptly and Vibe Boy signals to Madison. By this point, Cadryn is back up but he is also distracted by Vibe Boy's glistening body suit and hypnotic thrusting!
Madison spins Cadryn around, punts him in the stomach, lifts him up and drills him with the DEAD BITCH WALKIN'! She covers!
1....
2.....
3!!!
WINNER: MADISON DYSON!
PIP: "Far from a clean win, but nonetheless the record books will show this was Madison's night."
HEATHER: "Somebody should probably go check on Calvary those vibes might have seriously F'ed him up."
Alex Paen: Wednesday nights might not be the same again. The fastest grossing athlete in XWF history is missing. He was last seen after C*nt Fest by his friend and trainer Jimmy.
Jimmy: If anyone has seen him, please call. I’m after Vinnie Lane stole all of Thunder Knuckles money and because Thunder Knuckles didn’t plug Steven P. Coolie in the lead up to Cunt Fest. Steven P. Coolie won't represent him on this matter. So we need your help, XWF fans! Please call the hotline with any information!
Alex Paen: Any information is vital! So pick up those phones and dial! (330)366-6066.
Azrael appears and walks to the ring confidently, with a dead set, determined look in his eyes. Eyes that smolder with a touch of fire.
The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.
"Here, we are! Born to be kings; we're the Princes of the Universe! Here we belong, fighting to survive, in a world with the darkest power!"
As Princes of the Universe blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Robbie Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Robbie climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison:
*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*
MATCH #3:
AZRAEL EREBUS
- vs -
ROBBIE BOURBON NON TITLE MATCH IF ROBBIE BECOMES UNIVERSAL CHAMPION
HELL IN A CELL MATCH
DING! DING! DING!
The bell sounds as the two combatants are locked inside of HELL IN A CELL! Azrael Erebus looks around at his surroundings as Robbie Bourbon looks primed and ready to drop bombs. The two circle around the ring for a brief moment before Azrael hits the ropes. Robbie tenses up, anticipating his return, but Mr. Satellite just smirks at him while testing his reflexes. They circle around the ring a little more before Azrael hits the ropes again and rushes at Robbie. Robbie hits the mat as Azrael runs over him and hits the other ropes. They meet in the center of the ring where Azrael raises a boot to meet the face of Robbie. The foot finds the hands of Robbie who waves his finger in Az’s face before spinning him around.
Eye rake!
PIP: “That’s a rather dirty move from Robbie!”
HEATHER: “Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to survive!”
Azrael staggers backwards clutching at his eyes as Robbie taps his head mimicking the meme. He kicks Erebus in the midsection before hooking both arms and hitting a double underhook suplex. Robbie quickly lifts up Azrael onto his shoulders and begins shaking the life out of him in a torture rack. Robbie shakes him up pretty well before falling backwards with a leap into a Samoan Drop!
FLATIRON!
PIP: “That’s a long way down!”
HEATHER: “And a lot of weight coming down on him, poor Azrael!”
Erebus coughs as he hits the mat, but Robbie puts his full weight atop of Azrael as the referee slides into position!
ONE…
Two…
NO! KICKOUT!
HEATHER: “That might have been the fastest Hell in a Cell Match ever!”
PIP: “Azrael needs to catch his breath!”
Robbie grabs Azrael by his hair before sending him over the top rope and to the floor below. Robbie steps over the top rope and comes down beside Mr. Super Nova. He grabs him up off the floor, but Azrael rams him backwards into the steel wall! Kicks are flying in all directions as Erebus is trying to mount some sort of an offense against the round foe. Robbie tries to block, but the intensity of the strikes is too much. Instead he opts for reaching out with another eye rake!
But Azrael catches his hand!
He grips his fingers down the middle and splits them with joint manipulation! Robbie cries out in pain before catching a huge roundhouse right to the melon that sends him to a seated position against the cell. Erebus can’t help but smile at his current position. He takes a step back as Robbie claws his way back to his feet using the steel cell wall. As soon as he gets to his feet.
WHAM!
HEATHER: “OH MY GOD!”
[red[PIP: “That had to hurt Azrael’s head!” [/red]
The full body impact of Azrael Erebus sends both himself and Robbie through the cell and to the outside! They both are laid out as Azrael is the first one to his feet. He looks at the cell behind him and moves to the wall before beginning his climb to the top of the cell. As he reaches the top of the cell, he looks down at Robbie and beckons for him to join him. After a few moments, Robbie gets back to his feet and looks around to where Azrael went before finding him on top of the cell. Robbie grins as he begins his climb. It’s a slow one, but the cell seems to withstand his weight as they Robbie climbs up.
Erebus takes a step back allowing Robbie to climb up to the top with him and be flatfooted before he rushes him with a big boot! Robbie catches the boot and sends Azrael reeling backwards. He rolls to his feet and leaps at Robbie who simply catches him in mid-air and SPIKES him into the top of the cell!
DINOSAUR EXTINCTOR!
HEATHER: “They need to be careful up there!”
PIP: “Looks like the roof is trying to come in on them!”
The entire top of the cell begins to quake and shiver from the impact of that spinebuster. Robbie looks around himself and notices the effect before pulling Erebus to his feet.
Azrael rakes the eyes of Bourbon! Bourbon staggers backwards before turning back into…
SEEING STARS!
THE RKO OUT OF NOWHERE!
THROUGH THE TOP OF THE CELL!
HEATHER: “HOLY SHIT!”
PIP: “ALL THE WAY TO THE MAT FROM THE TOP OF THE CELL!”
They both fall through, but it’s Azrael who lands with his arm across the chest of Robbie. The referee slides into position!
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
WINNER: AZRAEL EREBUS
Griffin emerges from the entrance; eyes set straight ahead, he marches to the ring without much attention or emotion shown towards the crowd. Climbing the steel steps, he then takes his place within the ring and awaits his opponent's arrival.
The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Unlike usual, however, the figure is facing away from the crowd, briefcase in hand. After some hesitation, the silhouette turns around, walking slowly.
Ned Kaye emerges from the smoke, head low and face uneasy. The numerous cheers in the arena do little to ease Ned's weariness.
PIP: "You've gotta wonder what's going through the mind of Ned Kaye right now. It can't be easy coming out here after that challenge from his friend."
HEATHER: "Ned truly believes Big D deserves an opportunity, even if it comes at his own expense. He's too honorable to say 'no.'"
As he finally makes his way to the ring, he lifts the case up to his face, holding it with both hands, trembling somewhat at the thought of his future being stripped away from him. Face full of pain at the thought of who would be doing this to him. Ned steps towards the referee, handing the briefcase away as the ref holds it up high for the crowd to give a hearty cheer for. Standing alone in the center of the ring, Ned looks towards the ramp, dreading the coming moments as the seconds stretch out infinitely for him.
MATCH #4:
GRIFFIN MACALISTER
- vs -
NOTORIOUS NED KAYE LAST MAN STANDING MATCH
"X-Men Theme" by Powerglove begins to play as the fans begin to boo. Both Ned and Griffin look in surprise as Big D walks out, a metal chair in his hands. He makes his way down the aisle and around the ring, pointing to his partner and cheering as he heads over to the announce table. Heather and Pip look uneasy as D unfolds his chair and sets it down, grabbing a headset and putting it on.
BIG D: "Heather.......... Pip............ Good to see you."
They seemed hesitant, remembering to the last time all three of them were face to face.
PIP: "You threw me across this table last time we met."
BIG D: "Yeah, I wanna apologize for my behavior in the past. I'm really trying to turn things around and be a better person."
HEATHER: "Is that why you're trying to rob your best friend of his briefcase?"
BIG D: "It's a complicated situation, Heather......"
The attention turns back to the wrestlers in the ring, as the ref calls for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
PIP:"This is a Last Man Standing Match, first person to keep their opponent down for a ten count will be declared the winner."
BIG D: "I won my first Championship in a Last Man Standing Match. Everytime the ref would get to mine, my partner would distract him long enough for me to get back up!"
HEATHER: "Are you gonna do that with Ned?!"
BIG D: "Nope, he wouldn't want me too."
Ned Kaye and Griffin McAlister circle the ring, feeling each other out. After a few moments of this, they both step forward, with McAlister delivering a kick to Kaye's midsection. He follows it up with a punch and an elbow, backing Ned against the ropes. Griffin whips his opponent to the opposite side and goes to flip him over his shoulders, but Ned lands on his feet. He swings at McAlister, who blocks, kicks Ned in the gut, and plants him, face first, with a hard DDT.
HEATHER: "Not the way Ned wanted to start this match off."
PIP: "Do you think your challenge is weighing heavy in his mind right now, Big D?"
BIG D: "I'm sure it is, but Ned's gotta put it aside and focus on the task at hand. I know he's capable of it."
As Griffin McAlister stands up, the ref goes to count but Griffin stops him. He brings Ned Kaye back to his feet and Irish Whips him into the corner. McAlister charges after him, but Ned lifts his leg up and kicks him in the face. As Griffin backs up, Ned rushes forward and nails him with a Superkick. McAlister doesn't go down, though, stumbling to keep himself up. A quick thinkin' Kaye then spins and lands a Leg Sweep that sends his opponent tumbling down. Ned gets to his feet and heads for the corner, climbing to the outside and ascending the turnbuckles. He waits for Griffin to get to his feet, while still bent over, before jumping off and hitting him with a Halo Neckbreaker.
HEATHER: "Wow! What a move!"
PIP: "I don't think we've EVER seen Ned Kaye do that one, before!"
BIG D: "Heh, yeah, I may suggested it."
Before the ref can start counting, Ned Kaye brings Griffin McAlister back to his feet and whips him to the ropes. On the rebound, Griffin goes for a Clothesline but Ned ducks it. McAlister bounces off that side and back at Kaye, who Leap Frogs over him. As Ned's opponent heads towards him for a third time, he jumps up in Hurricanrana position, but Griffin catches him and hits a Powerbomb that drops him to his knees as the ref begins to count both men.
HEATHER: "Great counter by Griffin McAlister!"
BIG D "I mean, a Powerbomb's a pretty standard counter to a Hurricanrana......."
PIP: "Are you mad because McAlister beat you last year?"
BIG D: "I wouldn't call pinning the man I decimated with a steel chair 'beating me,' Pip."
HEATHER: "Well, I would."
Griffin gets up immediately, with Ned Kaye following close behind at about the '3 & a half seconds' mark. McAlister reaches into his boot and pulls out the K-Bar he keeps concealed, raising it at his opponent. Ned manages to duck the swing and run to the ropes. On the rebound, Kaye hits Griffin with a Head Scissors that sends his weapon flying to the outside.
BIG D: "There ya go!"
HEATHER: "Ned Kaye avoiding trouble with that move."
PIP: "That K-Bar could've easily ended the match."
Ned climbs out onto the apron, waiting for his opponent to get up. Once Griffin does, Ned pulls on the top rope and uses the momentum to cartwheel over, wrapping his legs around McAlister's neck into a headscissors. He sends The Mechanic flying into the center of the ring, before quickly getting up and waiting.
HEATHER: "The Disciplinary Action! Is it gonna be enough to keep McAlister down?"
BIG D: "Of course it is, that move was executed perfectly! Griffin is better off staying down!"
PIP: "The refs starting the count."
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Griffin McAlister rolls to the outside, using the ring to hold himself up, thus breaking the referee's ten count. Ned Kaye wastes no time keeping on his opponent, running towards him and doing a modified Baseball Slide. Rather than kick McAlister, Ned opens his legs and does a Hurricanrana that sends Griffin, head first, into the steel steps.
HEATHER: "It looks like Ned is backing off for a count."
BIG D: "He needs to keep on him! Ned's honor is gonna lose him a match someday!"
PIP: "You're probably hoping for that in two weeks, huh?"
BIG D: "Better then than now."
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As the ref's count draws nearer, Griffin begins to pull himself up using the steps, as a bit of blood trickles down his forehead.
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HEATHER: "And Griffin's back on his feet, though it looks like a struggle."
BIG D: "I told you he should've kept on him....."
PIP: "Hindsight's 20/20, huh?"
BIG D:" I prefer twent-D, twent-D, but sure."
Ned Kaye approaches Griffin, who uses a burst of strength to pop up, wrap his arms around his opponent, and drive him, back first, into the barricade. McAlister stays on Ned, bringing him to his feet and slingshotting him against the side of the ring. The Mechanic doesn't let go of his opponent's arm upon impact, rather whipping him back into the barricade with force, letting go this time. He points up at the ref and then to Ned, demanding he count him down.
PIP: "Oh my God! Griffin McAlister just played pinball with Ned Kaye's body!"
BIG D: "I'd toss you across this table if that wasn't such a clever metaphor, Pip."
HEATHER: "Would you pull my hair, again, while you're at it?"
BIG D: "No thanks, Heather, I'm married."
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Ned Kaye begins to stir, working his way up to his knees.
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With it looking more likely that Ned would get up, The Mechanic runs forward and delivers a Swift kick to Kaye's face.
PIP: "I bet you're just loving this, huh, Big D? The more punishment Ned takes, the easier it'll be to win his briefcase."
BIG D: "I actually DON'T enjoy seeing my friend getting manhandled, but thanks for the concern."
HEATHER: "Maybe Big D DOES have a heart, after all."
Griffin McAlister looks from Ned Kaye to the barricade. He then hoists Kaye up into Powerbomb position, but Ned reverses with a Hurricanrana that catapults his opponent into the ring post. Griffin crashes to the floor as more blood gushes out. Ned holds himself up with the barricade as the ref begins to count.
BIG D: "Now THAT'S poetic justice right there! Griffin reversed Ned's early Hurricanrana attempt with a Powerbomb, and now Ned's turned the tables with a Hurricanrana reversal OF a Powerbomb!"
HEATHER: "Well said."
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Griffin uses the ring skirt to pull himself up, slowly, making it to a knee.
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McAlister just barely makes it to his feet, leaning on the apron for support. As Ned approaches him, Griffin reaches under the ring and surprises his opponent with a vicious chair shot to the skull. Ned drops to his knees, but The Mechanic catches him and puts Kaye's head under his arm pit. Griffin McAlister then twists around and lands a Twist of Fate that leaves both men sprawled out on the floor.
HEATHER: "Reality Check! Both men are down and out after that one!"
BIG D: "Come on, Ned, get up!"
PIP: "The ref is counting, Griffin needs to make it to his feet if he wants to benefit from his move!"
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Griffin McAlister manages to stand up, holding the chair at his side in case it's needed.
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Ned crawls over to the announce table, where's Big D is now standing, cheering him on.
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Right before the ref can say 'TEN', Ned Kaye pulls himself up, keeping himself in the match.
BIG D: "That is one tough S.O.B. right there!"
PIP: "Can't believe I actually agree with Big D."
HEATHER: "Well, don't celebrate TOO soon!"
Griffin McAlister swings his chair at Ned Kaye, who does a forward roll to dodge it. McAlister then runs around and is met with a Van Daminator that sends both men crashing to the floor. Ned uses most of what he has left to get back to his feet, leaning on the apron as he listens to the ref's count.
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Griffin McAlister slowly begins to stir, causing Ned to sigh in disbelief. As the ref continues the count, Kaye rolls into the ring and climbs the turnbuckles, watching over his opponent from up top.
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Almost as close as Ned had been before, Griffin McAlister stumbles to his feet just in the nick of time. Seeing this, Ned decides to jump off the top rope at his opponent.
Before Ned can connect with a move, he's met with a Codebreaker out of nowhere. Griffin McAlister keeps hold of his opponent, locking in a Hell's Gate submission hold.
PIP: "The Mechanic might not be able to force Ned to tap out, but he can certainly wear him down to the point where he can't make the ten count!"
BIG D: "You have no idea how hard it is to just sit here and watch this!"
HEATHER:"You don't intend to do worse to him next Warfare?"
BIG D: "I don't plan to make him SUFFER...."
Ned Kaye refuses to pass out, fighting off the pain and pressure the best he can. This causes an angry McAlister to tighten the hold even more, making it seemingly impossible for Ned to escape.
BIG D: "That's it, I've seen enough........"
PIP: "Hey! That's mine!"
Big D grabs the towel sitting in front of Pip and gets up. He approaches the ring and tosses it in, landing at the ref's feet. Without hesitation, the referee calls for the bell.
WINNER: "THE MECHANIC" GRIFFIN MACALISTER via stoppage
PIP: "Wow, maybe Big D DOES care about Ned! Rather than watch him suffer, he decided to end the pain."
HEATHER: "I don't know, I think this is revenge for what Ned did to HIM at Lethal Lottery!"
Big D walks over to Griffin McAlister, who releases the hold. He stands up and looks at D, unimpressed. Big D points for him to go, threatening to defend his partner if he has to. The Mechanic throws his arms in the air, laughing, before turning and walking away. As Griffin leaves the arena in victory, Big D helps Ned Kaye to his feet.
PIP"Do you think the ref will give me my sweat towel back?"
HEATHER: "I hope not, that thing was gross!"
Big D helps Ned walk along the outside, making the way over to Kaye's briefcase. D grabs it, but rather than giving it to Ned, he gazes at it, longingly. Finally, he puts it in his partner's hand before helping him to the back. But Ned decides to let Big D go on first, and tells Big D to go on. Which Big D and he heads to the back.
Big D is first to disappear to the back and then Ned GETS ATTACKED!!!
The fans gasp!
HEATHER: The Universal Champion!
Ned's calf was clipped from behind by Shane running in and diving toward it like it was home plate while The Engineer simultaneously landed a wild flying roundhouse to Ned's chest!
They work insanely fast; already with Ned back up as it's Shane with the drop toe hold that sends Ned toppling forward and it's The Engineer meeting Ned with that insanely well-placed throat punch!
PIP: Ouch!!!!!
Ned crumples awkwardly, barely conscious enough to cough and gag!
HEATHER: What's the meaning of this attack?!?
Big D runs out from the back looking shocked to find Ned down as Shane and The Engineer have already disappeared through the fans who are roaring in disapproval.
PIP: It's possible this is a message being sent that the holder of that 24/7 briefcase is going to be a target, and if that's the case it means Big D could be fighting for the right to become that target should he win that briefcase from Ned!
The arena lights dim and shift color casting the venue in a purple haze while simultaneously the ramp and stage lights turn pink. Hello Doves appears briefly on the X-tron in pink accompanied by Atara's voice saying the same over the arena PA right before Venus by Lady Gaga hits the speakers.
HEATHER: This crowd is going apeshit crazy! And quite frankly I think so am I!
PIP: keep it in your pants!
Arena lights start to pulse in time with the music and multiple vertical streams of pyro erupt across the front of stage as Atara appears from backstage in a full grunge walk to centerstage right before the ramp. Posing for the camera, she blows a kiss before throwing off a silk robe to reveal her attire for the night.
The crowd takes apeshit crazy to new heights. Roses and flowers of every kind are tossed to the stage and ramp. Boys discover erections for the first time, erectile dysfunction is cured, closet lesbians call their parents and come out, it's hysteria.
She full on catwalk struts to the ringsteps and stops at the top to posture once more for the fans before going to the middle of the apron where she blows yet another kiss to the camera before entering the ring very Stacy Kiebler-ish and awaits the arrival of her opponent this evening.
HEATHER: Atara Themis looking more than ready here tonight.
The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then see fire emiting from the ramp after a bell tolls a few times. We then hear "SUCK MY DICK" blast from the PA and the crows begins to go ape shit.
"FUCK EVERYBODY" by Steel Panther begins to kick in as red strobe lights and lasers hit the stage. We see Peter Gilmour accompanied to the ring by THE Tristan Slater!
PIP: I'm not sure how I feel about this new pairing, PC.
HEATHER: I'm pretty sure neither of them care how you feel about it. THE Tristan Slater is just the man Peter F'n Gilmour needs to put that stamp of greatness on his career and take him to the next level.
The two walk to the ring as Peter bobs his head to the music and Slater mouths off to some fans along the way. As soon as the chorus kicks in we see Peter start singing into the camera saying, "EVERYBODY CAN SUCK MY DICK!"
PIP: Yeah! SUCK MY DICK!
HEATHER: Oh for the love of...
Once inside the ring, Peter throws his hands up in an "X" pose as fire and fireworks go off above the ring in the same manner.
Peter waits in his corner as down at ringside we see Tristan Slater offering some last minute advice to his client while cupping his hand over his mouth to make sure nobody reads his lips. Meanwhile in the opposite corner we see Atara Themis using the ropes to stretch and many of the fans have their phones out to capture the moment.
PIP: You notice the way Slater keeps his words between himself and his client? That's a true professional right there.
HEATHER: Oh. Oh! Yeah, to be honest, I didn't even notice what Slater was doing just now. Something distracted me.
PIP: …
PETER FN GILMOUR
- vs -
ATARA THEMIS X-TREME RULES
WINNER RECEIVES A SHOT AT THE HART CHAMPIONSHIP NEXT WARFARE
DING DING DING!!!
Atara and Peter both erupt out of their corners as Gilmour attempts to take Atara's head off with a clothesline right off the bat but Atara rolled under, sending Gilmour off balance into the far ropes which he grabs as he falls into but Atara is already right there behind him!
HEATHER: And he's outta there!
PIP: Peter Gilmour already being thrown OUT of the ring within mere seconds of the match beginning, and these fans are going wild!
Over on the far side of ringside the camera catches a glimpse of Tristan Slater's eyes bulging out of his head and his hands up in the air as he watches his client tumble to the outside already. Atara remains in the ring after dumping Gilmour out and soaks up the roar of approval from this packed house!
Slater rushes around the ring over to his client as fast as possible, kneeling down beside him and saying something as he helps him up.
PIP: It sounds like Slater is telling Gilmour all the ways he can turn this around. I think he's telling him to play dirty!
HEATHER: There's no such thing as dirty in an x-treme rules match, you dirty snowflake!
Once Peter regains his senses and focuses on the ring, Slater backs up a few feet and looks over to PC and HHL on commentary...
THE Tristan Slater: And you two mind your own fucking business!!
Slater spits at them and walks away in disgust!
HEATHER: See what your eavesdropping got us?
PIP: Oh stop it! You have his spit on you, and you're going to take HIS side?
HEATHER: WHAT! GILLY WITH THE LOW BLOW!!!
And it really was that fast that Peter Gilmour had maneuvered his way into kicking Atara right between the legs! It started out looking like he wanted to lock up with her and then WHAM he just let her have it!
PIP: A lot of people like to pretend that won't hurt a lady but let me tell you it's not exactly a picnic getting kicked there.
HEATHER: Is there something you need to tell us?!
Peter kicks Atara legs out from under her and stomps her a few times. He goes to drop a big elbow but she rolls just out of the way enough for him to miss! He quickly gets up in a rage and drops the same elbow... she rolls just far enough again and he misses! He quickly gets up in a rage and THIS TIME he...... drops the same elbow and Atara rolls just a bit more which now takes her under the bottom ropes safely to the outside as Gilmour misses the third elbow!
HEATHER: Haha. Slater is losing his shit over there.
RED: Wouldn't you be if that was your client?
Slater starts pounding on the mat from ringside, yelling at Gilmour to get his head in the game and his eye on the prize. Something in Peter clicks and he blinks after hearing that... "Eye on the prize," he mouths to himself as his eyes land on Atara.
Gilmour: RAAAAAAAH!!! SUCK!! MY!! DICK!!!!
Peter slams his open palms down on the canvas and then just starts pumping his fists, hulking up like crazy! He explodes out of the ring like a bat out of hell and Atara is quick to enter the ring and avoid him, but instead Gilmour is going under the ring and pulling out everything he can find!
Chairs!
Tool boxes! Tools spill out and go everywhere!
A ladder!
Light tubes!
That really huge ladder that sometimes appears!
A cinder block!
And a barbed wire bat!!!!
HEATHER: Oh my god!!!!
PIP: Barbie's back!!!
Gilmour raises the bat high in the air as the fans let out a loud "Oooooohhhhh" because they know this is BAD news!
HE THROWS THE BAT INTO THE RING!!!
AND MISSES ATARA WILDLY!!!!
But in the time it took her to duck out of the way of the flying, spinning instrument of mutilation, Peter quickly slid into the ring and grabbed her! He rams her shoulder first into the corner post, then backs her up and sends her flying through the ropes and landing right in the pile of spilled tools at ringside.
PIP: Atara looks to have possibly landed badly on those hammers, wrenches and other unfriendly tools!
Atara takes care pushing herself back up after absorbing that painful landing but here comes Gilmour flying over the top rope!!!???!!!???
A flying swanton over the top catches Atara just as she was standing up! CRASH!!!!!!
Slater is shouting YEAH and punches his fist into the air!
Gilmour is quick to get back up, pulling Atara up by her hair and whipping her around and around and around the world by her hair!!! THWACK!!!! He finally ended up getting close enough to the ring post that her body bent in half as it slammed into it at a hundred miles an hour!
She lands with a sickening thud on the mat at ringside as Gilmour looks down at her with a seriously demented look in his eyes...
HEATHER: I can't even begin to imagine what's going through that man's head right now.
He licks his lips as he takes another steps toward Atara who is writhing in excruciating agony right now, and we now see her back has welts from being smashed into a bed of tools earlier too.
PIP: Look at Slater cheering him on, too! I don't even think Slater fully knows how fucked up Gilly's mind is. He might be unknowingly encouraging Gilly to rape Atara!
Tristan Slater can tell that HHL and PC are talking about his managerial strategy again so he walks back over to the commentary table and slams his hands down on it as he shouts in their faces...
THE Tristan Slater: Since you two are so hellbent on speaking for me and my client, get it right! I'm normally not an advocate of this type of "extreme" bullshit but in this case I've told Peter he needs to do whatever it takes to turn the tide and get what he wants, and if that means putting that bitch in the hospital or worse tonight, so be it!
Slater looks back over at his client with satisfaction on his face as he sees Gilmour setting up the BIG ladder at ringside and then instead of climbing it, tipping it over and letting it land right on Atara's abdomen!
Fans: Ohhh!!!!
Now Gilmour takes that giant ladder and props one end on the barricade and the other end on the ring apron so it forms a bridge. He gets up on the ladder bridge and begins to pose and shout SUCK MY DICK at various fans, knowing Atara isn't going to get up anytime soon.
HEATHER: Peter getting a bit... cocky here.
PIP: I see what you did there.
Peter gets a small SUCK MY DICK chant going among some of the nearby fans as he bounces on the ladder bridge and directs them. Suddenly he's distracted by the sound of Slater screaming at him! Atara has gotten up and...
BAM!!! She's already sprung up onto the ladder with him and kneed him right in the face!
HEATHER: That ladder's getting a little wobbly! How long is it going to stay balanced like that and hold them up?
Both of them still standing on the ladder as if it's a bridge, Atara transitions into a Russian leg sweep! CRACK! The sound of the metal echoes through the arena but the ladder does NOT break!
PIP: It's goin to take a lot more than that to break the BIG ladder!
HEATHER: Yeah but you know that still hurt like hell!
Atara is first back to her feet, still on the ladder, pulling Peter back up and setting up for a... piledriver?
She hits it!
Piledriver on the ladder but instead of Peter's head hitting steel, his head flew right down between one of the openings and now he's stuck!
HEATHER: Peter has managed to get himself wedged tightly between the rungs of that ladder when his intentions tonight were to get himself wedged between the buns of his opponent!
PIP: Probably as close as he's gonna get, honestly!
Peter's body is vertical, except it just happens to be upside down and he's kicking his feet in the air trying to loosen himself from bring trapped inside of the big ladder! Atara can't help but be amused by this as she uses this time to recover from what she's already had to endure. She backs up a few steps at ringside, looking annoyed as Tristan Slater comes rushing over and shouting at Gilmour. He yells at Atara to back up further if she knows what's good for her, and he grabs Peter's legs and pulls them, causing the ladder to tilt over and spill Peter out of it like a sack of potatoes.
PIP Tristan Slater has already made a HUGE difference here today for Peter Gilmour. I imagine this match would have already been over if Gilly didn't have him in his corner.
HEATHER: Wait a minute PIP, I think Atara might be realizing that too... but she doesn't look happy about it!
Slater has just finished helping Peter up to his feet when...
LOW BLOWS!!!!
Gilmour and Slater BOTH go down!!!!
PIP: Did you see how fast Atara ran up, dropped to her knees, and slid right up behind them for that surprise double low blow???
HEATHER: I almost didn't! That came outta nowhere!
The fans are going so apeshit, no previous shitting of any ape can compare! Atara rolls Gilmour into the ring and follows, catching him with several hard kicks as he tries to get up but can't get his footing. She kicks his feet out from under him a few times and then a swift kick to the side of his head sends him flopping flat on the canvas again. She measures him, he starts to slowly rise again... and she hits the Judgment of Paris!!! A bicycle knee to the face that hits Gilmour so hard he spins in the air before he crashes down!
She goes for the cover and hooks the leg!!!
HEATHER: First pinfall attempt of the match here! This could be over!
...1
...2
KICKOUT with authority!!! The fans are shocked by the amount of fury Peter Gilmour exhibits as he kicks the fuck out with so much force that Atara is sent back a few feet! He storms to his feet in a rage only to eat the Lament of Adonis from Atara! She took him down perfectly with that Tilt-a-Whirl Fujiwara Armbar and it garners a huge reaction from the crowd!
She keeps the armbar locked in tight!
PIP: And now the first submission attempt! I don't think Gilly has much more left!
...Atara has it locked in and Gilmour has nowhere to go!
...The ref is checking for the submission but Gilmour is fighting for his life!!!
…
…
…
…
"BROH!"
Fans: WHAAAAT????
"Fuck Being Fat!" hits the speakers as none other than "The Great" Amjetkun "Path Blocker" Socio "Tunnel Digger of The Royal East" emerges from the back with strobe lights making his muscles pop even more than they normally would.
PIP: This can't be good news for Atara! Did you see what this ragins psychopath did to her just this last Thursday Anarchy?
HEATHER: Of course I did, and he went too far by attacking her and trying to end her career after beating her!
PIP: And now they're set to cross paths on the next Anarchy in a Fatal 4way so Amjetkun must be here to soften her up.
Socio rushes down to the ring as fast as he can, but it does actually take him a while considering how slow he runs. Atara is able to keep that armbar locked in on Gilmour and she's wrenching away with all her might trying to force him to submit before Socio can get to the ring!
…
…
…
…
...But it's too late! Atara releases the hold just as Socio slides into the ring. She readies herself as the two lock eyes...
Socio: Bitch I forgot to rape you last Anarchy! I got too caught up beating the FUCK outta you that I forgot why I really came bro! So now I'm here to finish the job! IT'S MOTHERFUCKIN RAPIN' TIIIIIIIIIIIME, GODD DAMM ITT!!!!!
Atara's eyes examine Amjetkun closely. In fact, Amjetkun starts to feel uncomfortable with how intently Atara is scanning his entire frame. He drops his guard and looks confused as Atara lips "WOW" to herself silently.
Socio does NOT like that! He starts to get pissed!
Socio: What bitch? What the fuck you mean WOW?
Atara: Oh nevermind, I'm sure it's nothing.
Socio: BITCH I SAID WHAT!!!!!!
Atara: Well it's just that... last time I was joking but this time I'm serious...
The anticipation is killing Socio.
Atara: You're looking smaller, bro.
And Socio absolutely loses his fucking shit!!! The roar that bursts from within him is so loud it could put Godzilla to shame!!!
He charges Atara!!!
She rolls out of the way!!!
5 K TO PETER GILMOUR!!!!
Socio just blasted Gilmour with his patented running move and it sent Gilmour flying out of the ring just as he had finally gotten back up after being down for quite some time!
Slater is livid at ringside!
Socio turns back around and sees Atara coming but catches her mid flight!
HEATHER: She just tried to level him with that same bicycle knee that took Gilly out earlier!
PIP: But the big gorilla just plucked her out of the air instead!
POWERSLAM!!! The ring shakes as Atara is taken down hard by Socio!
Socio screams like a psychopath and beats his chest.
Socio: I TOLD ALL YOU FUCKS I WAS DONE PLAYIN'!
He pulls Atara up and hits THE GROWTH GRAPPLE! A spinning bearhug into a belly to belly pillplex! Now he rushes over to Peter Gilmour at ringside and pulls him up and slaps him in the face!
Socio SCREAMS right in the face of Peter while squeezing the sides of his head and crushing his ears in his mighty grip!
Socio: Don't you dare try and rape that bitch! She mine! YOU FUCKIN' HERE ME BRO? I'LL DONE KILL YOU IF YOU FUCK HER!!!
PIP: He's shaking Peter's head back and forth so violently he's going to have shaken baby syndrome!
HEATHER: Except you need to be a baby for that to ha... oh.
PIP: My GOD! Slater took Socio's head right off with that cinder block from behind!!
The fans can't believe their eyes as one of the LAST things they thought they'd see right in front of them tonight was...
THE Tristan Slater hitting the GLORIOUS PILEDRIVER on Amjetkun Socio at ringside!!!
The holy shit chants have transitioned into a THIS IS AWESOME chant as blood oozes from Socio's head at ringside and Slater is seated beside him still in shock. Gilmour is pulling himself back into the ring very slowly as Atara pushes herself to a vertical base already inside. Both of them are a mess, both with blood on them that may or may not be their own, and both looking ready to pass out as they lock eyes and stumble toward each other.
Not a fan is seated as Peter winds up and...
SLAP!!!
Spit flies from Atara's face after that open hand smack connects!
Atara holds her cheek for a second and then slowly reels back, slamming Gilmour hard in the side of the jaw with a sickening forearm strike that sends some blood flying as his head cocks back.
Peter holds his arms out and asks for another!
And Atara obliges! CRACK!
He asks for another!!! This time blood is REALLY starting to flow from his mouth after the last shot caught his lip...
CRACK!!! Atara delivers!
Gilmour punches Atara in the tit!!! HARD!!!
Fans: OOOH!!!!!
The force sends her rocking backwards in pain as Gilmour rushes forward and leaps toward her!
THE GILMOUR CUTTER!!!
PIP: Oh! Gilly Cutter to an already hurting boob![/red]
[color=white]HEATHER: Oh for christ's sake, PIP.
Gilmour makes the cover, laying with his back across the fallen Atara as he basks in the lights of the arena!
...1
...2
...NO!!! She rolls out from under him and escapes to the outside of the ring!
Gilmour slams his hands on the canvas in anger as Atara is now far from his reach but then... TRISTAN SLATER rolls her back in!!! She never saw him run up behind her!!!
Gilmour quickly springs into action after being fed Atara, grabbing her by the hair and kicking her in the gut before yanking her down into position for a package piledriver... THE DEATHSTRIKE!!!
PIP: Oh! The much less famous finisher but possibly even more devastating than the Gilly Cutter!
He goes for the cover...
...1
…2
...THREE!!!
WINNER: PETER FN GILMOUR
Tristan Slater wastes no time entering the ring and raising his client's hand in victory as the fans shower them with boos and begin tossing debris.
Peter and Atara are both exhausted after their match. Peter slowly rises to his feet and looks over Atara as she lays on the mat attempting to catch her breath. Peter gets a wicked smile on his face and cockily saunters over time Atara.
Atara attempts to slide out of the ring, but is stopped when Peter grabs her ankle. He drags her to the middle of the ring. The look in his eyes are that of a mad man. He quickly adjusts himself, and runs the back of his hand against the side of Atara’s face. She tries to yell for help, but is quickly silenced but Peters band. He raises a finger to his mouth.
Peter: Shhhhhhh, just sit back and enjoy…
Peter shoves Atara’s head to the mat, and slowly begins to walk over her. She swings wildly with a free hand but is caught and stopped. Visibly frustrated Peter steps on her other wrist, pinning it to the mat. When all the lights in the arena go out. Camera flashes can be seen around the arena.
The crowd jumps to their feet as Fuzz slowly walks out from the back. Holding both titles over his shoulders, and the briefcase dangling around his neck like a Flavor Flav clock. He walks down the aisle towards the ring, fans reaching out to grab him, but his gaze doesn’t leave Peter. Peter gets into a fighting stance as Fuzz reaches the ring.
Fuzz: Hold up there big fella….
Fuzz holds up his hands.
Fuzz: I’M not out here to fight you…
Peter stands in the ring mouth agape with a confused look on his face.
Fuzz: WE ARE.
Without warning Vita and Noah appear from out of the crowd and firstly take care of The Tristan Slater, and then within seconds tackle Peter to the mat. Stomping away at Peter as Fuzz calmly slides into the ring. He sets both of the titles on the ground. Fuzz points to Noah as the share a head nod. Vita picks up Peter, who is barely able to stand at this point and whips him into the ropes.
Fuzz lifts Peter up and tosses him into Noah, as the connect with the “SO SICK”. Noah leaps up to his feet and celebrates as if he just won the Super Bowl. Fuzz looks over to the downed Peter, and shakes his head. Fuzz calls for a mic.
Fuzz: Peter…Peter…Peter. I’m going to make this short and sweet.
Fuzz bends down to a knee and lifts Peter’s head up off the mat by his hair.
Fuzz: Tell your boss… I’ll be seeing him soon. And just so he knows, it won’t be at March Madness…
Atara gets to her feet, and shoves Fuzz off of Peter. She begins to stomp on him as Fuzz, Noah and Vita watch. Then she turns towards the trio and marches right into Fuzz’s face.
Atara: I didn’t need any help!
Fuzz: Oh you thought we were helping you?
Atara holds out her hands and points to the mat where Peter is laying.
Fuzz: No dove… this was just me sending a message. But if it’s help and backup you desire… you know where to find us.
Fuzz bends over picking up his titles and exiting the ring, and is quickly followed by Vita and Noah. Vita’s eyes never leave Atara who is just left in the ring looking around.
She takes a step towards the ropes to follow the trio, but stops. She shakes her head and turns around to Peter. She looks down on him and then back to the trio at the top of the ramp. Fuzz, Noah, and Vita disappear behind the curtain.
A very huge thanks to those who wrote matches:
BigD
The Engineer
Calvary
Shane
A very huge thanks to those who wrote segments
Big D
Ned
Fuzz
The Engineer
Shane
The Misfits
Thunder Knuckles
If I missed out anyone, I don't think I did, but if I did I apologize.
This was a huge Warfare with a lot of Segments. I enjoyed putting it all together.
Also thanks to those who did promos. Some very good reads.
"Peter is now being managed by one of the greatest minds in the industry - THE Tristan Slater?
"AND Gilmour just overcame those INSANE odds during that main event, without needing The Engineer or myself to run out there during the match?
"AND the mere act of Gilmour winning the main event has threatened Fuzz - the second highest ranking CHAMPION here - so much that Fuzz needed to orchestrate an attack on him after his big win? An army of them just to take down Gilly after Gilly just ran a gauntlet?"
Shane gets a bit teary eyed as he looks up at the lights and realizes... "Why... I think...
"I think he's made it! Gilly has made it! HE'S A MADE MAN BABAY!!! He is a legit T-H-R-E-A-T to those boys in the back! CONGRATS GILLY!!! You're officially THE MAN, THE GOD, THE X-TREME ICON, THE TRUE THREAT around here!
"Who's in the main event? It's Gilly again. Who's earning another title shot? Gilly. Who's got the SUPER DICK? It's Gilly. Who's got the attention of Fuzz and pretty much the whole world? That'd be Gilly again!
"Peter! We need to throw a MASSIVE ASS celebration for you earning this shot to take Centurion's title away from him! We need to get you ready for this big win BAYBAY! So what kind of celebration do you want? A beach party? A cocaine party? A private space odyssey party? We will make sure you can have anything your heart desires! Then, after you DESTROY Centurion and possibly have your way with Atara in the process, we'll do it all over again except this time all personal rules regarding sexuality will be turned OFF!" *The crowd roars their approval!*
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Azrael walks out and tosses a cantaloupe to Robbie, for old times sake.
"The feeling is mutual. You seem to have been seeing well for a blind man. Glad your sight came back, just in time. I wonder if it had something to do with that weird colored PowerAde, that you drank before the show? Oh well, I guess we'll never know."
2x Universal Champion (First reign was less than a day though, lol. Due to Sebastian Duke cashing in his briefcase.)
2x Tag Team Champion
3x Triple Tag Team Champion
1x Television Champion
2x US Champion (Title retired during my second reign as champ.)
2x X-Treme Champion
1x Bombshell Champion
2x HMW Champion
2x SOTM
(02-05-2020, 09:42 PM)Shane <img src="https://i.imgur.com/pUgtAVa.gif"> Said: "So wait... Can it be? Have the stars aligned?
"Peter is now being managed by one of the greatest minds in the industry - THE Tristan Slater?
"AND Gilmour just overcame those INSANE odds during that main event, without needing The Engineer or myself to run out there during the match?
"AND the mere act of Gilmour winning the main event has threatened Fuzz - the second highest ranking CHAMPION here - so much that Fuzz needed to orchestrate an attack on him after his big win? An army of them just to take down Gilly after Gilly just ran a gauntlet?"
Shane gets a bit teary eyed as he looks up at the lights and realizes... "Why... I think...
"I think he's made it! Gilly has made it! HE'S A MADE MAN BABAY!!! He is a legit T-H-R-E-A-T to those boys in the back! CONGRATS GILLY!!! You're officially THE MAN, THE GOD, THE X-TREME ICON, THE TRUE THREAT around here!
"Who's in the main event? It's Gilly again. Who's earning another title shot? Gilly. Who's got the SUPER DICK? It's Gilly. Who's got the attention of Fuzz and pretty much the whole world? That'd be Gilly again!
"Peter! We need to throw a MASSIVE ASS celebration for you earning this shot to take Centurion's title away from him! We need to get you ready for this big win BAYBAY! So what kind of celebration do you want? A beach party? A cocaine party? A private space odyssey party? We will make sure you can have anything your heart desires! Then, after you DESTROY Centurion and possibly have your way with Atara in the process, we'll do it all over again except this time all personal rules regarding sexuality will be turned OFF!" *The crowd roars their approval!*
heh boss you can throw me a mega bash after I beat old man Centurion's ass and take the Hart Title for the 5th time. and u can bring all the hot ass bitches you want. ill fuck em all then when I find Atara, I'll fuck her real good and make her wish she didn't fuck me up during our match.
Speaking of that, seems those 3 damn cunts need to be taught a lesson. First up is Noah and me beating his cunt ass and taking his TV Title. Then after I'm done with Centy, if Fuzz and his slut Vita decide to come out, I think me, Shane, Engym Maddy Dyson and Tristan Slater will have a nice ass kicking to give them..
and oh yes I am a THREAT!!! you'll all see why very soon..
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
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