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B.O.B. D · (01-04-2020)

"What's the point?"

I had asked myself this question about a million times since Saturday, and I still couldn't come up with an answer. It was 8:04 p.m. on New Year's Day and rather than spending time with my wife, watching some bowl games and enjoying life; I was just getting done at the gym after an intense workout in preparation for a match I REALLY didn't wanna be in. While that might sound strange coming from someone who requested this match, I honestly felt I had no other choice. If XWF wasn't gonna give me a Universal Title shot, then I was gonna have to steal one from them. Since they refused to see anything in me, I was gonna have to take their ball of a TV Title shot and run away with it. It was gonna take 9 wins in a row to show them Big D wasn't just a dick joke, but a man capable of being the face of a company. And even IF the nine wins wasn't enough to impress(like Lux's horrible competition in defending HER TV Title[me as the exception]), it wouldn't matter because they'd HAVE to hand me my briefcase. It would've been earned and there wouldn't be a soul on earth who could argue otherwise. Hell, not only would I make one of Sarah Lacklan's stupid lists, I'd probably even win an award or two, rather than a name that's only there to fill up the ballot.

Even though I knew what I had to do, it didn't make me feel any better. I knew I was capable of the task at hand, it just didn't seem right I had to do it in the first place. Three months from now, my body could be completely broken from eight intense Title defenses of me showing the world I AM capable of taking the next step. By that point, I may not HAVE a foot to step WITH and all that hard work would've been for nothing more than becoming the greatest Television Champion of all-time. Like THAT'S ever gotten anyone into the Hall of Fame.

As I started my car and pulled away from the gym, I couldn't help but get emotional. I'd worked my ass off and had nothing to show for it besides a couple pitiful mid-card Title reigns. Nobody understood how difficult it was to fight for something you viewed as beneath your capabilities. Once I won those belts, I didn't give a shit about them. Sure, they were nice to add to the resume, but I never wanted to hold onto them for years on end. I don't HAVE years, hell, I'll be lucky if the word 'year' even gets an 's' added onto it! Yet, here I am, preparing to fight two men I've faced before, for a Championship I've already held. They'll call it a test, but I call it a distraction; a way to keep me busy while the Champion continues to pad their stats with easy Title defenses.

Lux(who I will NEVER refer to as 'The Engineer') doesn't have an opponent for the Pay-per-view, quite the curiosity. Noah's coward dad has avoided every single challenge from the Champion to date. He would rather defend his Xtreme Title against Ned Kaye and beat up two women with his

son, than take on Lux for the greatest prize in this business. As for Noah, he's already making plans against Atara Themis, one of the disappointments from the Universal Chamber Match, before he's even had a piece of me or Scully. He's writing a check his ass might not be able to cash. This Pay-Per-View is supposed to be all about the Cunts, but it could actually wind up with both of them leaving empty handed and broken.

As I continued down the road, I tried to figure out who could possibly face Lux at Cuntfest. Robert Main or Chris Page would be logical choices, but something told me they were gonna be too busy with Shane and his cronies to worry about the belt for now. I nor ally wouldn't argue against Tony Santos, but where the hell has that guy been the past month, on a bender?! I WOULD argue for myself, given the praise Lux gave me before winning the belt(and losing her mind), but that would NEVER happen. They'd book Lux against one of Shane

's turds before they'd pick me. Which is why my gut feeling of it being Donovan Blackwater absolutely kills me inside. If it ain't Vinnie Lane him-fuckin'-self, the shot's going to waste!

My mind was too distracted, especially for someone behind the wheel. Tears filled my eyes, making it harder to see the road in front of me. I didn't see a car in the left hand turn lane when I crossed over, because there wasn't one. That wasn't the case for oncoming traffic when I took my left....................

I awoke in a hospital bed, the sound of a heart monitor beeping in the background with every beat. My ribs were killing me and I had the worst headache of my life, but I seemed fine otherwise. My wife was sitting in a chair, with Ned Kaye standing next to her, a hand on her shoulder.

"Ned........you better get your hands off my wife........." I joked, becoming more aware of my surroundings. The two of them jolted up with joy, making their way to each side of my bed.

"Honey, you're okay!" Krystal exclaimed with tears in her eyes. "Do you know where you are?"

I looked around the room, seeing the familiar sight of a typical hospital room. Sinks, garbage can, biohazard containers; it all sent a shiver down my spine as I remembered my first janitorial job. "Hell?"

Ned smiles, patting me on my leg. "At least he's still got his sense of humor."

I examined the room, again, realizing there wasn't a doctor around. "PLEASE tell me my doctor ISN'T Noah's......."

"It's not," Ned reassures. "I don't even think that guy was actually a doctor, probably just an actor he paid to make a video for him."

I shook my head and let out a laugh. "Pathetic."

Krystal wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tight, sending sharp pains to my ribs. "Owwwwww."

"I'm sorry, honey," she said, letting go. "You just don't understand how scary it was to get that phone call......."

I felt ashamed, knowing how awful I would've been to be on the other end. "I'm sorry," I apologized, looking down at my feet. "I......... should've paid more attention."

"It's not your fault," she said, speaking gently. "I know it's hard to see out of your right eye.......... It probably seemed like that car came out of nowhere, huh?"

Her words caught me off guard, as I hadn't even thought about the fact someone else could be lying in a hospital bed because of me.........or worse. "Are they alright?" I asked, concerned I may have just killed someone.

"Depends on what your definition of 'alright' is," Ned responded, deepening my concern.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"He was driving drunk, and had a suspended license," Ned explained. "Not to mention, a warrant out for his arrest. You didn't injure him, but he's going to prison for a LONG time."

Krystal gave me a faint smile, trying to look on the bright side. "Look, honey, you're a hero; just like you always wanted to be!"

This couldn't be real. Not only did I survive a car accident with minor injuries, I also unknowingly put away some scumbag in the process. Given the circumstances behind the crash, things could've(and probably SHOULD'VE) gone much worse, at least on my end.

Krystal's phone began to ring, causing her to check who was calling. "It's your mom," she told me, causing my heart to sink. Considering the last time I saw her and dad was Thanksgiving, their last memory of me would've been when I Dan Slammed the turkey and ruined dinner. Not exactly the best way to remember their son.

"Could you tell her I'm talking to the doctor?" I requested, rubbing my temple. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything."

Krystal smiled and nodded. "Of course," she assured before answering her phone and walking out the door. I waited a moment to make sure she wasn't within earshot of the door, before revealing a terrible secret to Ned.

"It wasn't an accident," I confided.

Ned was caught off guard, not quite understanding(or maybe not believing) me. "What do you mean?"

"I turned in front of that car on purpose," I explained, staring up at the white ceiling above. The bright lights that shined down reminded me of the light at the end of the tunnel I expected to see after the collision. "It wasn't my eye, or the fact the other guy was drunk; I got hit because I wanted to end my misery......."

Ned didn't have a response, not a verbal one, at least. He took a few steps towards the bed, his hand over his mouth in shock. It was hard to gauge his feelings, I couldn't tell if he was angry or just disappointed, but his silence wasn't making me feel any better about my situation.

"Say something, Ned!" I demanded, having had enough of his lack of a response.

Ned sighed and finally spoke. "Why?"

I let out a sigh of my own and shook my head, refusing to look at him out of shame. "I've just had enough of it all," I explained, a tear rolling down my cheek. "When I came out of retirement, I thought things were gonna be different, but it turns out it's the same old shit, just a different company."

"What do you mean?"

"I used to be told I wasn't good enough, that I didn't deserve to be in the Main Event," I continued, trying not to cry. "But then I come here, believing I'd get a fair shot, and instead feel like I'm living the same bad rerun over and over again. While guys like you and me have to claw our way to the top through tests like War Games and Lead of Faith, people like Seth Feder and Atara Themis can just waltz their way into the company and be handed an opportunity WE had to nearly kill ourselves for!"

Ned looked uneasy at my choice of words, but it seemed fitting.

"Back in the day, NOBODY believed in me," I continued, my head throbbing as bad as my ribs were. "It wasn't just management that held me in the lowest regard, my fellow wrestlers did, as well. Despite accomplishing shit they could've only dreamed of, with less opportunities, they didn't even think I was worthy of an Intercontinental Title shot, let alone the big one!"

"I'm sorry, D," Ned sympathizes with a frown.

"It's not YOUR fault," I replied with a flick on the hand. "And that's my point. You understand where I'm coming from, hell, even Sarah Lacklan can! She might feel differently NOW, but there's no denying that a few months ago she was calling for ME to challenge her for the Anarchy Title. And although Lux might not believe it anymore, she can't take back what she said about me after I made Thaddeus Duke tuck tail and leave the company! I may not have had the support of my peers back in my WWF days, but I do NOW and it STILL doesn't matter!.........."

"I just don't understand why you'd try to take your own life over it," Ned responds.

"Don't give me that bullshit," I bursted out, knowing full well that my partner considered a similar option for himself just a month back. "You and I aren't that different, Ned, we just choose to walk opposite paths. Just because I didn't have a last second moment of realization, like YOU, that doesn't make me a bad guy."

I could tell my words hit Ned, as he didn't seem to know what to say. It wasn't my intention to upset him, but rather see things from my perspective.

"What about what you said to me that night you got me high?" Ned asked solemnly. "About how much I'd disappoint my fans and all the people who believed in me?....."

"Newsflash Ned............NOBODY BELIEVES IN ME!" I shouted, annoyed by his preaching. "The only fans I have are the people who cheer for me because YOU'RE my partner! If it wasn't for you, nobody would give a damn about me!"

Ned had a serious look on his face. "What about your wife?" he asked. I could see the pain in his face, knowing he almost lost his friend as he had his fiancè before. "How do you think SHE'D feel?" he continued. "SHE'S your biggest fan, and she doesn't even watch you wrestle. Knowing the person you are, I can just imagine the patience she must have....."

He was right. It's like they always say, suicide is selfish and I almost put Krystal through a hell bigger than teaming with Donovan Blackwater. I was so caught up in my own sorrow, that I ignored the pain my death would cause. XWF may have seemed like my life, but at the end of the day it wasn't. The fact I was constantly trying to win the Universal Title so I could leave and be with my wife says it all and I almost threw it away because life isn't fair.

"How do you think I would've felt?" Ned inquired, showing more care than anyone else on the roster. "Who would I team with?"

I felt even worse. Without realizing it, I lumped Ned in with the rest of the roster, just another coworker who wouldn't give a damn if I died. And, just like with Krystal, that was more unfair than the way management had treated me.

"Oh, you would've been alright," I assured, smiling half-heartedly. "You're in Apex, remember? You could've teamed with Centurion, hell, you'd probably become Tag Team Champions for sure! That guy's accomplished more in XWF than I have my entire career!"

After a moment of silence, I began to chuckle. Ned seemed a bit confused for a second, but slowly smiled and joined me with laughter. It was odd how hours ago I was at the end of my rope, and now I was laughing at how crazy life could be. I was finally starting to see the point in it all.

I could hear Ned's phone vibrate in his pocket. He reached in and checked the text message, before looking up at me. "It's Atticus Black."

"Oh, really?" I said with surprise. "Is he sending me his prayers and we'll wishes?"

Ned frowned. "He wants to know if you're out of the TV Title match next Saturday. He says he has Donovan Blackwater on stand-by to take your place if needed."

"You've gotta be kidding me," I said with an eye roll. "Are you SURE I didn't die and go to hell?!"

Ned chuckled. "Negative."

My ribs were damaged, and I was pretty sure I'd still be partially concussed for the match, but there was no way I could back out of it. It was bad enough I almost gave up on life, I certainly wasn't gonna give two asswipes like Scully and Noah Jackson the satisfaction of watching me give up on our match. This was too important, it was my only path to the Universal Championship. As far as I was concerned, this match wasn't about the TV Title, it was the first win of nine wins towards me becoming Number 1 Contender. A prize they didn't want me to have, but one they'd no longer be able to deny me. Pulling off THAT feat would stick it to all of them more than dying ever could. It's too bad I didn't see that BEFORE destroying my car.

I looked up at Ned, an eager grin on my face. "You tell Atticus that not only am I gonna be there Saturday night, but I'm gonna WIN, too......." Ned matched my smile with one of his own, before typing away.

Noah had gotten the better of me before, just like life, but this time was gonna be different. There would be no throwing in the towel this time, just me coming back for my Title. Last time I was blinded by my rage and paid for it, but I've learned from my mistakes. Much like Lux said when I WON that belt, I'm a completely different person than the man he faced before and I was gonna prove it at Savage.......... just like I will one day against the Universal Champion himself.

And as for Scully, I handled him before and I'll do it again. He may be a former Universal Champion, but those days are long gone. That's why he's competing for the TV Title, because his career is on the downslope and it's his last chance at relevance. But he's gonna soon find out that once you lose to Peter Gilmour, there's no coming back. If he thought being picked AFTER Rain for War Games was bad, he's about to be eliminated from contention of the lowest non-24/7 Championship in the company. By the time I'm through with him, HE'S gonna be the one turning in front of oncoming traffic intentionally. And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth.........

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