Thunder Knuckles is seen wearing a professional movers jumpsuit. He's talking to a group of Mexican men, who are wearing the same thing, behind a Penske truck. It seems like Thunder Knuckles is working his side job today.


Okay, this is the sixth and final truck, right?


Thunder Knuckles shows the Mexican worker six fingers and points to the truck.


Si.

Good. how much longer do you think?


The largest Mexican man shrugs his shoulders as to say he didn’t know or didn’t understand.


Well, pick up the pace, will ya Juan?

Mi Nombre es Miguel.

Whatever you say, Juan, just get your ass back to work!


The movers go back to work as Thunder Knuckles leans up against the truck. That’s when Thunder Knuckles notices the cameraman.


Hey cameraman, I didn't see you sneak up on me.

Before we start this promo, I just want to get super Centurion serious, for a moment, if you don’t mind.


The cameraman shrugs his shoulder like why would he give a fuck.


As you might be aware, Drezdin is running for President of the United States of America. He needs your help XWF fans, and yours too roster! Drezdin has already gotten the Quote Of The Month for October 2019 locked up. It’s high time we lock in those votes, folks! Drezdin/Knuckles 2020!


Thunder Knuckles knowing he’s already off track pulls it together.


So, Centurion thinks 'Ol Thunder Knuckles doesn't improve ratings. Bitch, I'm making warfare great again.


Thunder Knuckles grabs his nuts with his left hand and brushes the back of his right hand from his Adam's apple to the chin as if to say fuck you.


Admit it, you were rooting for ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles because you knew that if you were in a match with Speechless Von Prick Hammer or Peter Fucking Gilmour. No one would have watched your match.

Saying my relevance end after this match. Please, you're piggybacking off my white-hot success. More people are interested in this match then when you faced MasterMind. What's the difference? ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is the difference.


Thunder Knuckles grins at the fact Centurion thinks he’s better than Thunder Knuckles.

You say you're two title defenses were jokes. Your right, I am a joke and when I beat you. You’ll be the biggest punchline to this joke, by far.

Centurion, the transitional champion to a transitional champion, outstanding job!


A couple of the Mexican works walk past the camera in between Thunder Knuckles and the cameraman. They’re carrying a luxurious couch, very stylish and modern. Thunder Knuckles looks over at a couple of the works and says…


Don’t worry about the walls or anything we gotta get this show on the road boys.


Thunder Knuckles extend his pointer fingers on both hands and rolls them one over the other to show the Mexican workers to move faster.


Anyways, Centurion says ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles doesn’t entertain fans. Well, I guess we’re just gonna have to see at the end of this promo, huh?


Thunder Knuckles grins a more evil grin this time.


Today feels like Christmas for ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. Except my dad isn’t drunk and my mother isn’t crying. Christmas isn’t getting canceled this year, no sir!


A couple more workers move past the camera carrying a really expensive painting.


Don’t forget the big ass crystal chandelier, the owners want it to go, too.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, Centurion doesn’t think Ol’ Thunder Knuckles could be a champion.


Three movers walk past with boxes so tall they can barely see over them.


Well, to be honest with you, I don't want to be a champion. That’s not why I’m here.

However, taking your title away from you will surely give me a bonus for winning a title. They all seem to do that.

Unknown Soldier doesn’t always main event Warfare, sometimes it's the Hart Champion. I’m sure there is a bonus for the main event.

Thunder Knuckles begins to chuckle to himself.


Not that you would know Centurion. No xbux having, ass.

Centurion, you deep pocket, United States dollar having booshi fuck. You’re going to be taught a lesson in humility on Warfare November sixth.

I’m even willing to up the ante put up TEN THOUSAND xbux. Winner takes the money too. Don’t be a chicken shit. Everyone already knows you paid ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles once, it won’t bring you anymore shame.


A couple of workers walk past again this time with a dolly, a dolly full of silver and fine china dinnerware.


NICE! Good job boys, you're getting to the really expensive stuff now.


Thunder Knuckles gives the workers a thumbs up.


Centurion also said I'm like EDWARD. EDWARD is trying to be the best warrior. I mean, when you think about it. If anyone is like EDWARD it’s you, Centurion. Ya fucking vulgarian bitch. Jimmy taught me that word. Sounds fucking bad, doesn’t it. You’re trying to be more than just a shell of your former self, at this point, right? The only one big difference between you and EDWARD, I see is, EDWARD is entertaining. This company is lacking the EDWARD’s of the world, don’t you agree XWF fans? Not these “things happening for reasons” promos, just good ‘ol unmitigated entertainment.


A worker walks past carrying a box full of booze. Thunder Knuckles grabs a bottle out of the box. Thunder Knuckles opens the bottle and takes two healthy chugs out of it.


Centurion with all that money you have you can’t afford to make better promos? Who the fuck filmed those for you, film students? They’re leaving in all your flaws and shit. You should fire them they’re not doing you any favors you know.


Thunder Knuckles was struck by a brilliant idea, but he wouldn’t dare ruin a surprise would he. Instead of saying it out loud he takes a drink from the bottle.

Two sets of workers walk by this time. One set is carrying a lavish pool table that had to be carved out of one piece of wood. It’s beautifully carved and the green on it is so perfect you’d think it was made by the devil himself. The second set of workers are walking by with tall gold lamps.


Centcheerhimon doesn’t know what “shit ass economy” I’m living in. The same one as you, bud. Does someone have to get ahold of someone for you? Are you feeling okay Centcheerhimon?

This job has hurt Centcheerhimon's ability to think. All those bumps and headshots. CTE, bro. It's real.


Thunder Knuckles doesn’t want to end up like Centurion rassling well beyond his prime for what? One more chance at fame before being put down like a lame horse? The booze has now made it to where Thunder Knuckles can’t say Centurion’s name correctly.


This dumb mother fucker thinks ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles will fold under pressure.

Under pressure what makes you assume that I'm pressured at all. I've beaten you to every promo. You’re the one playing catch up, pal, not me.

It’s called tempo, I learned that watching boxing.

Your narrative doesn’t matter to me.


Thunder Knuckles drunkenly points to his chest.


When we get into that ring on Warfare, you’ll find out about tempo. IF your knees last that long.


Thunder Knuckles flashes a crooked smile because he knows now that Centurion doesn’t stand a chance, maybe he’s had too much to drink.


For a guy with a record that's similar to mine, while you tried and I didn’t, makes you look like the weakest link, not me. Bitch ass, Centcheerhimon.


One worker walks past the camera with a dog. Thunder Knuckles sees this and points at the worker.


Hey, mother fucker put the fucking dog back! The owners of that ugly ass piece of shit will be back for that fleabag. Are you fucking or something?


The worker walks past the camera again going the opposite direction to take the dog back inside. Thunder Knuckles takes another drink from the bottle.


That’s right, I basically dared you to say your fucking dumb ass catchphrase, didn’t I?

So there I am, your mom licking my assholes while your sister fondles my balls while licking the shaft of my dick. I'm sipping on that cold refreshing Budweiser that quenches my thirst, but not my thirst for whores. After your mom finishes up with my butthole, your sister lays back for the Alabama Hot Pocket.


Thunder Knuckles shoots a smile that could only be called sinister, at the camera.


If you don't know what that is Centcheerhimon, I suggest you look it up.

I then start fucking the shit out of that dirty pussy of hers. GOD DAMN! Does she feel good now? Fucking right she does!

That fine ass honey couldn’t resist The Alabama Hot Pocket.


A couple of works walk past with a giant tv it looks like eighty-five inches of pure entertainment. Most don’t even know those size televisions exist.


Enough with my FINAL FANTASY, Centcheerhimon. Back down to business. I guess this is the part that I tell you what's in store for you on Warfare, huh?

Well, the Cockel Clutch, of course. I know you're familiar with the move, Centcheerhimon. That's your future. I just want to know what you're going to say once you lose to 'Ol Thunder Knuckles. What excuse you come up with when your Hart Championship is raped literally from you.


Thunder Knuckles takes another big drink of the bottle, ok from that he to a box one of the workers was holding while walking past.


XWF fans around the world! Have I ever told you how much I love brandy?


Thunder Knuckles takes another larger swig this time from the bottle. He lifts the bottle as to cheers XWF/Thunder Knuckles fans.


That's how you entertain Centcheerhimon, not sell t-shirts. You sell t-shirts like this...

Thunder Knuckles enters a euphonious tone that could sell harder than Shawn Micheal's did vs. Hulk Hogan.


Buy the new Vita Valenteen t-shirt today for only TWO THOUSAND xbux, on XBUXShop.com!


Thunder Knuckles gives a thumbs up and speaks normally again. Thunder Knuckles stares into the camera now like someone stole his last beer, he just got mad for no reason.


Follow me, cameraman.


Thunder Knuckles and the cameraman walk into the large house and the walls are all scraped up and have holes in them. The rooms look uninhabited and deserted. Which makes Thunder Knuckles happy again.


They're doing a great job, aren’t they? All I had to pay them was a couple of hundred United States dollars each, of course.


Thunder Knuckles walks back to where he had been standing before. As Thunder Knuckles gets back into position, two of the workers past carrying the crystal chandelier.


FUCK YEAH! They're gonna be so happy we were able to get this! They didn’t think we could get it for them. HA!

I saw your match against Melanie Crazee Childs, in the Candy Corn Deathmatch. What an epic victory, remember when ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles woke up in a cold sweat thinking up that match. You went and shit the bed in that match, bud. Everyone knows it would have been better if Thunder Knuckles was in it.


Thunder Knuckles begins rubbing his hands together like a greedy miser. Until he thinks of his “payment” from Vinnie Lane. FIFTEEN xbux and the reason that was given, burger w/ fries.


I knew nothing was wrong with my direct deposit. ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles believes, Vinnie is gonna let this get outta hand. So, I'm going to win this Hart Championship when I make Centcheerhimon say “I quit”, to show Vinnie Lane, I'm a true asset to his company. Maybe I defend it, maybe I don’t. I guess it all depends on if Vinnie coughs up my paychecks, or not. Only ELEVEN THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-FIVE xbux to go Vinnie. I’m just happy you made the first step, shows real leadership!


Thunder Knuckles tries to get back on topic. Before he could speak a couple of workers walk past carrying more boxes. Thunder Knuckles sees what could only be a polar bear fur coat. Thunder Knuckles snags the polar bear fur coat from the box and put it on.


Anyone catch Centcheerhimon’s second promo, Jesus fucking Christ, right? I'm starting to feel bad for the guy. I am. He thinks ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles would pay him to lose. You’re out your fucking mind if you think I’d buy a win. Especially from a guy who didn’t do his research or did far less than ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles did for you. I’m starting to think you're not taking this as seriously as you should. This will probably cost you in the long run.


He doesn’t stop there, oh-no, so upset about not being the star of the month, likely yours truly.


Thunder Knuckles winks to the camera, then takes another drink from the bottle.


He just randomly verbally assaulted BigD, Sebastian Duke who just had a hard-fought match with Thunder Knuckles as his partner on Savage the main event by the way, and OF COURSE the girl YOUR stalking VV. He thinks the ‘rassler’s are voting on the star of the month. I don’t know how the did it “back in the day”, mostly because all that OLD footage got burnt up, never to be seen again in the great XWF video archive fire, that was just a short time ago I heard. Everyone knows it’s XWF fans who are doing the voting, not the ‘rassler’s, you dip shit mother fucker.


Thunker Knuckles a bit drunk gives the jerking off gesture when he remembers something Centurion had said.


Come on with that shit, Centcheerhimon, you never faced a guy who made more xbux than you in one month. You can cut that false bravado shit right now, fucking poser.


A couple of workers come out carrying a life-size Asian boy fuck toy with a small hole for a mouth, to be fair, it looks to be custom made.


What the in the goddamned absolute hell is that in there for? Don’t even put that shit on the truck! They can pick that shit up out of the front yard when they come back for the dog.


The workers just look at Thunder Knuckles. Thunder Knuckles points to the front yard and makes a disgusted face. The movers start taking it away to where Thunder Knuckles had pointed.


What was I saying? Oh yeah, XWF roster listen up! Vinnie owes you all xbux! Do you work for free? If so, good for you, see you on your comeback tour like Centcheerhimon. Be a busted old person trying to be better than what you were in the past, still not getting paid. GET WOKE, BITCHES!


Three workers walk past carrying more boxes. Thunder Knuckles glances at the boxes and doesn’t see anything he wants in them.


Centcheerhimon, I'm gonna be immortalized when I beat you for the Hart Championship, right after I beat you for the star of the month for October 2019. A fucking statue would be fucking dope though. Speaking of statues…


Thunder Knuckles yells out.


Hey Juan!!!!


Miguel runs to Thunder Knuckles, knowing Thunder Knuckles will never call him by his real name. Thunder Knuckles looks at the man he calls Juan.


Si.

Don’t forget the statue in the backyard the owners want that to go too.

Si.


Miguel gives a thumbs up to Thunder Knuckles and scurries off. Thunder Knuckles looks back at the camera.

Another fucking thing, I’d never claim to take a dive that I didn’t take. You can, however, expect never to be given the chance to pay for a win over ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. You’re always going to have to earn it when YOU face me. I’m fixing to slap the shit outta you just like Noah Jackson did.


The largest group of workers yet are passing by with a large statue from the back yard.


You know, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles could wait for your last promo, but why really? You’re going to be just as boring to watch. Probably won’t even have your facts straight again, yet somehow be disappointed on Warfare when you lose your Hart Championship. I’ll be watching your next promo, however, to see if you take up my xbux wager. It’s too bad I’ll likely have to have my first title defense with Speechless Vonn Prick Hammer, on the Lethal Lottery Pay Per View…


Thunder Knuckles enters into a half-assed sales pitch while rolling his eyes and bobbing his head mockingly.


Don’t forget to buy the fucking Pay Per View.


Thunder Knuckles snaps out of the half-assed sales pitch, which I'm sure would have been far more spectacular if he received his paychecks. Thunder Knuckles then notices the workers shutting the back of the truck. The workers all go to their respective trucks and get in and get ready to drive away.


XWF fans stick around and enjoy the show, and Centcheerhimon, this will be one of those promos you’ll always remember! It’s time to pay the toll, mother fucker.


Thunder Knuckles smiles at the camera like a goofy idiot. He climbs up into the last loaded truck, shuts the door, honks the horn to signal the others to move forward and Thunder Knuckles drives away. After all six trucks drive away. The camera cuts to the front of the driveway where there is a gate that's been busted open and the trucks start to round their way onto the road and as the last truck passes by, Thunder Knuckles flashes the camera the finger. Now the trucks aren’t blocking the view of the mailbox that reads, Andy Cortinovis. Thunder Knuckles has rigged fireworks to go off as soon as the last truck clears the view of the mailbox, as a way to give Centurion another example of entertainment. The scene fades to black after the choreographed with music, fireworks show. The cameraman lives to see another day.