I sat there rubbing my head. A battle with Kieran will do that, but I’m still standing. I’m still the champion, and just as I said, there was absolutely no way I wasn’t walking out of Savage empty handed. I try to stand up, but my knees are weak, I must look like a baby deer trying to stand. I use the chair to help me stand up. I wince in pain but take a deep breath and compose myself. I stretch trying to get some blood flow through my limbs.

**BUZZ…. BUZZ**

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pull it out and glance at the name. “NOAH ICE”. Yeah it surprises me as well that Noah is my emergency contact. I check the text, and what do I see? Dozens of pictures of Noah holding a cat. A cute fucking cat, but a cat none the less. In some photos he’s cuddling it, in one he’s Lion King’ing the cat. The message with it says.

“Check out my sick fucking cat!”

“Fucking idiot....”

I close the text and put my phone in my pocket. I guess I’ve got to go see a fucking cat now. I continue stretching out and after a few creaks and cracks I’m finally able to walk without too much pain. The cuts on my body are bandaged up, but I’m lazy and didn’t change the dressings on them. The blood begins to seep through and the crimson is seen on my shirt. I slowly lift the shirt off and toss it to the ground. As I shuffle towards the dresser, I catch a glance out of the window. The sun is shining, and children are playing outside. I let out a sigh and dig through the dresser and grab a shirt.

“I really need to get out of the house and see Noah but it’s not quite safe out there yet, but I mean it doesn’t look like there are people out there trying to beat my ass.”

I pull open the blinds, and peer around the yard. Looking everywhere and nothing is seen. I decide that yes today I shall leave the house and go meet the cat . I will no longer be kept inside the house like Scully was his entire life. Sheltered at home and not privy to anything on the outside. I guess that’s why he has his flock, they are the only people capable of being in the same room as him without realizing he’s useless. It’s a tough thing to see someone come back to such little fanfare. Hell people don’t even realize that he’s back, and it’s quite sad. I made my way towards the door, walking past the closet I stop and grab a few things.

I throw a jacket on, along with a baseball hat. I pat around the jacket and find a sweet pair of sunglasses. I place them on my face and agree that it is officially time to rejoin society. It’s been nearly a week and no one has come knocking on my door, and with good reason too. I tend to knock back.

The sun blinds me for a moment. I know it’s stupid, what the fuck good are the sunglasses then? Well as I’ve always been told, look good, feel good. I walk down the block. I can still see the children playing, I stop for a moment and watch one kid try to play KING, and bossing around all the other children. Then one smaller kid steps up to him. The bigger kid laughs, that was until the small kid kicked him in the junk. Then quickly followed it up with a right hook to the kids jaw.

THUD.

It was sickening to hear, but damn did I feel good for that little guy. It’s never the size of the fighter, it’s the determination that shows the outcome. Take that little shit, two hits and he’s king of the playground. All it took was some DGAF attitude and go. That little shit reminds me of Noah. I smile a bit, and send for an Uber, now that I’m well away from the panic room and no one would be able to follow me back.

Paranoid? You bet. Scared, maybe a little, but god dammit I told Noah I was going to see this cat, and I will, today. After a few minutes the Uber pulls up, I quickly hop in the back.

“So where we off to?”

“That’s none of your business. Just drive me there. Get me there in one piece. Thank you.”

I reach in my pockets for my AirPods, but can’t find them. The driver pulls off, and keeps checking his rear view mirror, looking at me. I don’t think anything of it and begin to look out the window. I’m starting to remember the way to Noah’s place, and things are looking familiar.

“Hey are you….Fuzz?”

Oh shit, cover blown. I guess what all those superheroes use as disguises in the movies doesn’t actually work in real life.

“Yeah.”

The Uber pulls up out front of Noah’s house. It’s impressive. I get out of the car, and so does the driver. He runs around the side of the car and stops me from going towards Noah’s house.

“Hold on, can I get a picture?”

“Sure, just make it quick.”

He pulls out his phone and holds it out for a selfie. I crack the most insincere smile. He checks the picture, and smiles.

“Awesome… so 24/7 huh?”

“You try it, I’ll cut your dick off and feed it to you like a Chicago style hot dog.”

He puts both of his hands up and slowly backs away. I walk towards and subsequently into Noah’s house. I don’t knock, knocking is for shit people. He knows I’m coming over and frankly I can’t be bothered to knock.

“Noah….Noah?!”

I hear some scuttling in the back. I walk back there and see Noah sitting on the ground playing with the cat. He’s using the string from his hoodie to play with the cat. I walk over and look around the room.

“Noah… where is the cat food?”

“Don’t got none cunt. I’ve been feeding him Cheetos.”

“And what about a litter box?”

“He’s half outdoor cat. I open the door and this little fucker runs out and everything.”

“What about a scratching post? This little fucker is going to ruin all of your furniture. Cat Nip? Actual toys? Noah if you’re going to have a living creature in your house you have to responsibly take care of them. What about an automatic feeder? You’re not home all the time.”

Noah leaps up, and shoves his phone in my face. It shows an Amazon Wishlist with all those items listed, plus a few others.

“Ha! I knew that you would think I wasn’t responsible enough.”

“You know you have to actually hit purchase before those items come.”

“Yeah…. um do you have your wallet? I’m a bit short.”

I hand Noah a credit card. He snatches it from my hand before I could blink.

“Thanks Dad.”

I shake my head and pick the cat up off of the floor. I sit down on a chair and begin to pet the cat. It’s purring on my lap and eventually falls asleep. Noah walks over and sits down next to me.

“So what are we doing?”

“About what?”

“Well we can’t just sit here. Let’s go out and do something. You’re not quite AARP ready. Let’s go out and get crazy before Lethal Lottery.”

“Well I’m not going anywhere while this cat is asleep.”

Noah reaches over and grabs the cat.

“Go wreck some shit you little cunt…. Ok let’s go.”

“Ok Noah where are we going?”

“I dunno….A Bar?”

I just shake my head and shrug. I order an Uber, and we walk outside. Noah puts a hand on my shoulder flashing my credit card in my face.

“And it's all on me today Dad.”

I grab the card from his hand. I reached like a child to retrieve it, but I jam it into my pocket. He drops his shoulders. The Uber picks us up, and we shortly arrive at the establishment.

“Well here we are Noah. THE BAR.”

Noah looks up at the building in disbelief.

“This shit hole is The Bar?! What stupid cunt names their bar, The Bar?”

“A smart business owner.”

Noah looks over at me perplexed. I quickly google bar near me, and this place was the first five results. I show Noah the phone and he just shakes his head.

“Well, shall we?”

I motion towards the door. Noah drops his head and begins to walk towards the door. I slap him on the back as the camera cuts.

The Afterthought:

Well here we are yet again. Management turning a blind eye to my requests. I asked for a shot at Lacklan and what happens the very next show? I’m not fucking booked. Yup, I open my mouth and am quickly shut out like a goddamn leper. Newsflash Vinny. I’m the biggest name on Anarchy. I’m the one that brought your shit ratings back. Do you want to know what I was going to do once I beat her for her “title”? I was going to hand it over to the true champion, and tell he not to worry about her ever again. Why would I do that? Because while he may not be my “family”, I treat Noah like he is. When family needs help you help them. I’m sick of Vita looking like the crazy one, when in reality it’s you Vinny that are looking like a fuckhead.

Speaking of fuckheads.

OOOHHHH HHHIIIIIII YYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUU GGGGGUUUUYYYYSSSSS!!!!

Scully has decided that now is his time to come back. Who it must really be a kick in the dick knowing that you have to come back to face me. Oh I know that you don’t give a shit about me, and you know what that’s fair. To you all I am is a returning CERTIFIED LEGEND. Someone who has done more for this company that the entire roster combined, but go ahead Scully and don’t care about me at all, that’s fine. I’ve accepted that when I came back there would be a bunch of ignorant twats who don’t know what they are talking about.

I’ve accepted that in today’s XWF, I’m the oddity. Yet what does it say about you, that when you come back, not a single person bats an eyelash? When I showed up in March, I made headlines. People knew who I was. People remembered me. When you showed back up, there was an audible groan. “Oh shit, this moron is back.” Well I guess we have to let him play, don’t worry guys he’ll lose and be out the door before you even blink. Then we will all be able to go about our business.

Yet somehow people have it in their mind that things need to be given to you. Like how in the fuck did you ever get a Universial Title shot and I haven’t? Well I guess I’ll just answer my own question. It’s because Soldier needs a break after the battle with Page, and you fit the bill. That can’t have him losing the title weeks away from the PPV, so why not throw Scully in there, there’s actually a better than 50% chance that he doesn’t even show up to the arena. They wouldn’t put me in that situation, because there is a 100% chance that Soldier would have another grueling battle on his hands. So Scully why don’t you concentrate on losing that match after Big D and I destroy you and Boris. Speaking Of…

Здравствуйте!

I figured I’d give you a little taste of home before deport your ass back to Mother Russia. I see a lot of myself in you. We both like to party. We both fit the bill of people you don’t want to get to know. And we both have had phases where we look and smell like vomit, unfortunately you’re still living in that moment. It’s cool eventually you’ll grow out of it.

I have had plenty of nights drinking the ole vodka, but these days it’s aged scotch or a nice bourbon. I don’t have time to wake up with all the headaches. I need to be ready at all times. I need to be on top of my game so that I don’t lose my title on a fluke.

You see that’s what it’s going to take to get this title from me. A fluke. It’s just honestly amazing that both of our titles are on the line. Pick one or the other, but at least I know that Dan is going to give it everything so he doesn’t lose his title. All I have to do here guys is just play it smart. If I don’t Tag into the match, I can’t get pinned and I can’t lose my title, but then I run the risk of not advancing.

Quite the dilemma I’m in. I mean I know I carry a Big D, but can I carry a big d while carrying a Big D? I just don’t know. And can I really trust him? I did just beat him for this title, maybe a little revenge is on his mind. I just don’t ever know what me going on in that thick fucking skull of his. Maybe he’s decided that it’s better this way, fuck he’s got a title now too. So maybe we can let bygones be bygones.

You see Boris and Scully that’s all it takes. All Dan and I have to to is fine some small sliver of common ground and you’re both done. There isn’t a weak link on our side, but when I look at the both of you? I see two weak links. Do you know what happens to chains with two weak links? No? Ask Dwight Schrute he’ll fill you in.

Sorry Boris. That’s an American Television show reference. I don’t know what you get in Russia, but I’ll write you a list of everything you’ll need to watch in order to know what life is like here in America. It should only take you three to four weeks to get through everything. Then you’ll be caught up, ok. Good.

And for the love of everything that is holy Scully…. please stop bashing your head against the wall. You’re not doing any damage to it, you’re only hurting yourse….

As a matter of fact keep doing what you're doing. It hasn’t worked yet so far, what’s the harm in continuing?

You see everyone out there, I don’t need to totally destroy everyone in my path. Just know what if I so choose, I will everisate each and everyone of you.

And that people…

Is how you #CarryABigD.