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B.O.B. D · (10-11-2019)

What was I getting myself into? There I stood dressed head to toe in drag. My hair was completely covered with a curly, blonde wig. I had on a hot pink dress and a long pair of white leggings(to cover up the cuts from my horrible attempt to shave my legs) that led down to almost an exact replica of Judy Garland's sparkly red slippers from the Wizard of Oz. And, unbeknownst to the naked eye, I even had on the thong I wore when preparing for my TV Title match with Lux. Had to get into the part 100%. But what WAS I doing standing outside of a seemingly random building, looking like Shane

's last 'toilet'?

The truth is I'm an addict and am ashamed to admit I'm seeking help. I've known I had a problem for years, just never wanted to admit it out loud. It started with just a taste, right around the beginning of my career. Eventually one turned into two, two turned into three, and before I knew it I was completely hooked. It had gotten to the point where I would do just about anything for another chance to have some, even if it meant hurting other people. I didn't care, as long I got what I needed.

There was a point in time where I managed to kick the habit, a sobering 8 years to be exact. Not a day went by, though, where I didn't feel the craving, the uncontrollable desire to go back and get more. I did everything I could to distract myself, whether it was playing video games, watching football, or even jackin' it; ANYTHING to keep myself busy. Unfortunately, I ran out of games to play, football season wasn't year round, and my dick had been rubbed rawer than Monday nights. Despite all of my best efforts, I relapsed in March of this year.

Which is exactly what brought me here today, getting ready to go into my first support group meeting. The whole reason I was incognito as a blonde woman was so no-one knew it was ME seeking help. If anybody in there recognized me, they'd either hound me for my autograph(maybe even blackmail me into giving one) or record me on their phone to put on YouTube and the last thing I needed was to be looked at as the next Jake the Snake.

After what seemed like two eternities of preparing myself mentally, I finally went inside. I made my way down a long hallway, looking for Room 13A. Eventually I found a sign confirming I was in the right place, next to a wooden door with a tiny window on it. I peered in and saw a small group of adults sitting on chairs in a semi circle, with a man in black pants and a white dress shirt and tie addressing them at the front. I took a deep breath before grasping the door knob and entering.

The man leading the group stopped his speech as the door opened and I could feel the entire room turn and look at me all at once. Despite the fact most of them were obvious crackheads, parents whose kids had been taken away, or both; I was met with looks of disgust. It was as if they'd never seen a beautiful 'woman' before, although I shouldn't have been surprised. I was FARRRRRR out of any of their leagues, even WITH my own problem.

"Hello, erm, ma'am," the group leader, whose name tag read 'Skip' welcomed. "Why don't you take a seat with the rest of the group? We were just about to share our personal experiences with addiction."

"Okay," I squeaked, doing my best Mrs. Doubtfire impersonation. I walked over and sat in a seat away from people, not wanting to risk catching any sort of disease these lowlifes may have brought with them. Thankfully there was a good three chairs between me and the nearest junkie.

"Who would like to start?" Skip asked, glancing around the room for a volunteer, until a man at the end of the semi-circle raised his hand. He was short, lanky, and looked as though he worked on cars all day, but you knew he wasn't intelligent enough to be doing such a thing. Up and down his arms were little spots where you could tell he had injected something in his past(if not this morning).

"My name is Larry," the man spoke to the group as his bottom lip quivered.

"Hi, Larry!" everyone, except me, responded.

"I started doing heroin when I was 13 years old," the man continued as tears filled his eyes. "I loved the rush, it made me feel on top of the world. The risk never scared me, it was the real world that did. And whenever I shot up, I truly believed that I was invincible........ my girlfriend, Gina, felt the same way whenever she used. Gina never tried heroin before she met me, but I convinced her everything was fine and, up until two years ago, it was........." Tears slid down the man's face, as he tried to keep himself together.

"It's okay, Larry," Skip assured. "Everyone here has their own personal demons, and your story may help someone else to overcome theirs."

"That night........." Larry continued with a shaky voice. "That night, it was our anniversary and......... and we wanted to celebrate. So we did everything we had and I left the room to take a piss. When I.......... when I came....... back, her eyes were open, but there was nobody home....... she was gone."

Larry buried his face in his hands as he finally let it all out. The woman sitting next to him, who you easily could've mistaken for the Crypt Keeper, patted him on the back. Skip walked over and gave the man a hug, whispering something in his ear. He began to calm down after a minute and Skip returned to the front of the room.

"Wow," he spoke while wiping a tear from his eye. "That is a powerful story. We may not have been able to save Gina, but that doesn't mean we can't save Larry. She'd be proud of you for getting the help you need. We're all here for each other and it's going to get better." Skip's eyes went from Larry to me. "How 'bout you? How has addiction affected YOUR life?"

"No, no," I responded, in my normal voice at first, before changing to my female tone. "I'm just here to listen."

"Now, now," Skip insisted. "We're not here to judge. Everybody here has been through their own version of hell. Keeping it to yourself will not only prevent you from healing, but it may also drag you back down into your addiction."

I sighed. As much as I didn't like to admit it, he was right. Showing up here, dressed in drag, was completely pointless if I didn't try everything possible to overcome my own problem. Reluctantly, I stood up and introduced myself to the room.

"Hi, my name is.......... Dee," I fibbed before being met with the typical 'Hi, Dee' response. "When I go to sleep at night, I DREAM of my drug. Every waking moment, there isn't a second that goes by where I don't need it in one way or another. I'll do anything in my power to get my hands on some......"

"And what's the worst thing you've ever done to get your drug, Dee?" Skip asked, intrigued by my tale.

"I beat up an innocent woman!" No-one seemed shocked by my admission, which I
realized was due to me 'being a woman.' Before I could explain myself, Skip chimed in with a valid excuse.

"Wow, you harmed an innocent person?" he gasped in shock, like he somehow knew I was ACTUALLY a man(but my outfit was too good, how could that possibly be?)

"And the worst part is it was only for a CHANCE to get my hands on my drug......." I confessed, looking down at the floor in shame.

"Well, what IS your drug, Dee?" Skip asked with concern.

"Championships."

Everyone looked at each other in confusion, whispering amongst themselves. Even Skip himself seemed confused by what I had said.

"Championships?" he questioned. "What drug is that a street name for?"

"It's not a street name," I answered, not sure what was so hard to understand. "I'm literally addicted to winning Championships."

Once again, the support group began to murmur to one another. They sounded angry, almost as if they didn't think MY problem was as serious as THEIRS. A man, who looked an awful lot like Bob Saget(maybe it was?), stood up and confronted me.

"Championships are not a drug!" he thundered. "Have you ever sucked dick for a Title shot?"

"Noooooo," I responded, disgusted at the thought. "But I DID spend 100,000 X-Bux on one!"

"What the fuck are X-Bux?!" another person wondered, giving me a look dirtier than the unwashed Slayer shirt he was wearing.

Another guy stood up from his chair and walked over to me. Without warning, he reached out and yanked my wig off, revealing my true identity.

"This isn't a hot ass blonde bitch!" he exclaimed, completely shocked by the revelation. "It's XWF wrestler, Big D!!!!!"

I tried to hide my face in shame, but it was too late. Various druggies pulled out their phones and began to snap pics of me. I wasn't sure what was worse, being plastered on the internet in a dress or for seeking out help(that I obviously wasn't even receiving!)

"You could've been here for steroids, or MAYBE even marijuana," Bob Saget's twin shouted in anger. "But NOOOOOO, you had to make a fool out of all of us!"

"Okay, FIRST OFF, you can't get addicted to marijuana!" I shot back, my blood pressure rapidly on the rise. "And second............ I DO NOT DO STEROIDS!!!!!!"

What a sight it must've been to watch me bolt up, grab my chair, and launch it halfway across the room, barely missing Skip's head. The rest of the group gasped in horror, but I didn't care. As I had already told them, I'd done alot worse for my own personal gain. Maybe now they knew I DID have a problem.

"Get the fuck out, RIGHT NOW, or I'm calling the police!" Skip screamed, pointing for the door. I was more than happy to oblige, strutting my sexy ass out the door, down the hall, and through the building exit.

It was pointless, it seemed, everything I had hoped to accomplish. Not only was I still addicted to winning Championships, but I also looked like a fool for nothing. Here I was, walking down the street a man in a dress. Even though it may be acceptable nowadays, it wasn't a look I was keen to be seen in. MAYBE had I been cured of my problem, but no under these circumstances.

I walked for at least a good mile, ignoring the assholes who gossiped about me as I passed by(apparently it wasn't COMPLETELY acceptable). During my trek, I had plenty of time to think about things. What REALLY was the problem with being addicted to Championships? Isn't that the point of what we do? Sure, I may be extreme in my actions(dress & thong aside, heh), but that only makes me more memorable that 95% of the roster! I'm not the one who needs help, if anything, it's the man currently holding onto my next dose of Championships: Thaddeus Duke. He proved that when he couldn't defeat me on his own to become TV Champion in the first place.

With my eyes on the prize, I knew it was time to address my newest rival. I didn't care that the world was gonna see me at my lowest, because come Savage, I was gonna be high, once again! It was time to tell Thad Duke that.

"Thaddeus, I saw you and Fuzz talking shit about me on Twitter. While Fuzz may have EARNED that right, the same cannot be said about yourself. You want to hide behind your phone and tell me I don't deserve this shot because I paid for it? Who the fuck do you think you are? Acting like you're some big hot shot TV Champion...... NEWS FLASH!!!! You wouldn't BE Champion had it not been for Mastermind's help. Deny it all you want, believe that you beat me all by yourself, I don't give a shit. The tape doesn't lie, everybody else can see the truth. You're about as credible of a Champion as Unknown Soldier; or Robert Main before him. Guys like you just capitalize on what other's have done, only to swoop in at the last second to claim something you haven't ACTUALLY earned."

"I know hearing that has you searching for your shovel, ready to dig up my past, but let me explain something before you make yourself look like an idiot. YES, I wouldn't have won the Xtreme Championship had it not been for Robert Main counting the pinfall, nor would my War Games team have been victorious without Sarah Lacklan and Vinnie Lane. And while those ARE the facts, there's a couple questions you need to ask yourself: would Big D have needed Robert Main's assistance had Unknown Soldier(a rather unconventional official) NOT been the referee? Wasn't War Games a TEAM event, where any member could score the victory for ALL of us?!(Yes, that even includes fuckin' Rain)"

"Now, last time I checked, our Ladder Match was NOT a Tag Team Match(since I didn't have a partner), nor was it a Handicapped Match. Had either of those things been the case, I would've extended my hand and called you the better man. Had you defeated me definitively, without a shadow of a doubt, I wouldn't have bothered to spend the 100,000 X-Bux to face you. If I had, I probably would've gone after Centurion's Hart Championship, since he's ACTUALLY a top contender AND a Legend. Which is a hell of alot more than anybody can say about YOUR lucky ass! And I don't care that the match was No Disqualification, I can admit Mastermind's assist was completely legal. But what I don't get is how YOU can't admit it's WHY you're Champion? I would say your dad must've knocked you around a bit too much, but he's more into assaulting old cripples. Maybe it's your age? 5 year olds ARE loud, obnoxious, and aren't very good at telling the truth yet. Who knows? Maybe getting your ass handed to you on a silver platter traumatized you and the whole match is repressed. I'm sorry, but if you couldn't handle THAT, you might not want to show up come Savage."

"When I heard our Title fight was gonna be a Cage Match, I was like a reverse-Unknown Soldier. Rather than hailing Satan, I was praising Jesus and thanking God! It's just gonna be you, me, and a legitimate XWF referee inside the steel Saturday night. If you want any respect from me or anyone else in XWF, you have to defeat me........ WITHOUT. ANY. HELP. You can deny the truth and believe you're a mature teenager, but reality is you're a snot-nosed little brat who's probably still a virgin. That's why Vinnie AND Theo called your ass out after you criticized me. You think they want a punk like you representing their company?!?! Hell no!!!! They know talent when they see it and it's Big D. I'm the guy who's lulling around the mid-card until XWF decides to give ME a Universal Title shot, instead of clowns like Chris Page or Drezdin!!! Or, you know, maybe hold a legitimate Number 1 Contender Match?! Regardless, I'm one match away from being the face of the brand, and I'm gonna show them I'm for real by putting little Thaddeus in time out!"

"I thought I needed help because I was addicted to Championships, but the fact of the matter is the only person who needs help is YOU. I'm not the guy in need of assistance, I'm the one GIVING it! Ask Ned who saved him at Relentless, because it certainly wasn't Apex, it was Big D! And in about a month, I'm gonna help him get his first taste of gold when we become the NEW XWF World Tag Team Champions! At that point, everyone will get used to me having Titles, since I'm taking Thad's at Savage, too."

"Two men will enter, but only one will be standing once they raise the Cage. That man is gonna be me. I've been wrestling longer than you've claimed to be alive, there's nothing you can do to prevent the inevitable. We all saw it last time, now you're gonna FEEL it this time! No-one can save you now, because I'm not gonna be locked in there with you, you're gonna be locked in there with ME!!!!! The police are gonna have to arrest me for child abuse once I've whooped your sorry ass! And then maybe you'll learn to show a little more respect to your elders! You're gonna find out that Big D was TV Champion all along and that you were just holding it for me; like Chris Page has been with the Universal belt. Well, in comin' to take what's mine and I DON'T need a damn soul to hold my hand when I do it! And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!!!!"

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