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Robert "The Omega" Main · (09-13-2019)

They say one shouldn’t acknowledge everything they read or hear. Unverified but plausible-sounding gossip have been justification for ferocious demise and destruction throughout history, whether these stories had anything to do with the truth or not. These shreds of information are not viewpoints people share. Instead, hearsay is meant to be informative. Once in motion, these conspiracy theories run rampant, many times uncorroborated. The ones spreading these nuggets of deceit do so because they need something more within their own inadequate lives. These woeful bastards need to feel significant. Like they matter in the grand scheme of things when in reality they don’t.

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This dammed cold. Can’t shake it.

Robert clears his throat stumbling into his kitchen flipping on the lights where Drew is sitting at Robert’s kitchen table fast asleep in a full-faced gas mask and hazmat suit. Robert stares for a few seconds then pops the top off a bottle of pills tossing a hand full into his mouth leaning over his kitchen sink guzzling water from the faucet.

Jesus Christ, my head might explode.

Bob, your eyes are swollen. Have you been crying over the Universal Championship again?

Robert flips Drew the bird

I’ve got a sinus infection dick weed. You guys had to have a pool party at my house and now I’m sick as a damn dog. Take that mask off you look ridiculous, you can’t catch a sinus infection.

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I’m not risking it. I’m not taking this thing off until I’m certain. Oh, and you said we could have a party here Bob. How you have a sinus infection in Las Vegas is beyond me. It’s as dry as your humor here.

Robert replies shaking his arms

If you don’t take it off, how are you going to eat jack ass? You were in my freaking pool a few hours ago swimming.

Drew squints his eyes leering at Ned’s 24/7 briefcase and begins tapping both Tag Team Championships that are sitting right in front of him with his index finger

Okay, that’s a solid point. But.. (Drew waives his finger around) There’s chlorine in the pool Bobby it kills everything. How about I make you a mushroom smoothie?

Robert turns his back-waiving Drew off

No freaking way. I want to get better not die. Oh, and by the way, there is no chlorine in my pool. It’s saltwater.

Drew begins sniffling

If I get sick Robert so help me God. I’ll make you drink 100 fungi smoothies.

I’m not drinking one. No one drinks that shit besides tree hugger.

Fine suit yourself, trying to help and I get shot down.

Drew turns his hand into an airplane crashing it into the table making an explosion sound.

So, do you believe Chris Page is going to just walk away from the company?

Robert shrugs

I don’t give a shit. (Robert sighs) Everything is a grad A cluster fuck right now. Screw Chris Page, I hope he did tuck his tail up in that bearded clam of his and I hope he’s running for whatever rock he crawled his tattered ass out from. Fuck um, and I mean that fuck um. People like him care about one thing and one thing only, himself. All his boys bounced on him he’s won what? One match since his triumphant return. Want to talk about overhyped look no further. I’ve seen some massive egotistical douche bags over the years from the likes of Chris Chaos to our ex maniac friend Jim but CCP takes the number one spot by far.

If he wants to take his ball and go home good riddance. Fuck him and fuck the horse he rode in on and all the “brothers” that left him holding the bill. I said I would dismantle him and guess what? I was once again a man of my word. Two damn times I ran my dick down his throat reviving his shit career. He was supposed to be this gigantic threat to the Championship when in reality he was just a bump in the road I bulldozed. I won, there’s nothing else to talk about. I’m moving on, CCP’s credibility died a long time ago. We don’t need to keep beating the living shit out of a dead horse. The Robert Main - vs - Chris Page chapter is over.

Well, some people are saying that you and Chris might team up to take down Solider and Shane?

Robert grinds hit teeth for a second showing a hint of malice before turning around crossing his arms

Shane? Why? Tell me what in the hell Shane has to do with any of this? That’s just irrational, illogical and unreasonable. Tell me who the hell are these people because they are just as loony as Cadeus is. Are these the same idiots reading the national enquirer? What you just said is absolutely preposterous, why in the hell would I team up with a man I despise? A man I loathe, I would not piss on Chris Page if he was on fire begging me to put him out. Him and I uniting into this “Deadly Alliance” won’t happen, not in this lifetime at least. That thought is a pipe dream and that’s what our enemies want us to do.

I’ll be dammed if I inject APEX with a lethal dose of CCP poison. Everything that man touches crumbles moments later. Don’t get me wrong I wanted this trilogy to happen, so I could be the one to drive that final nail into the coffin of “Chronic” Chris Page. I wanted to be the one who sent him packing, his confidence crushed into ten million pieces. That was supposed to be me. I had all of that stolen from me by some prick that thinks painting himself up like a whore on the corner turning tricks scares people. (Robert again grinds his teeth showing a side of irritability)

At this point Chris Page is an afterthought. Null and void. I guess rumors are more exciting than the truth. There were a lot of pleasantries spread about me after the last Savage. Of course, I didn't show up to defend myself, so my absence helped create even more chitchat. I've discovered that the less I say, the more chatter I start. I’ve done my talking in that ring and have for years. Here’s a fact for everyone hanging on my every word right now needs to listen to, Page quit, were not teaming up and I’m no longer Champion. The world will keep turning. Let’s move on.

Well, what about Solider?

Jesus, am I playing 21 fucking questions here or some shit?

Bob, I’m asking because people want answers. That’s all.

Robert throws his hands in the air

People want answers huh?

Robert points to himself

How about for the first time in my career I get some fucking answers huh? Here’s a question for you. Tell me how in the hell James freaking Raven got taken down by the dimwitted Peter Gilmour? James could break that stack of dimes Peter calls a neck blindfolded, the guy couldn’t wrestle his way out of a paper bag. Tell me what happened there?

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Right, no answer. I don’t have answers this time Drew, I’m going with the flow here man. I’ve got just as many questions as everyone else and in time I’ll get my answers one clobbering at a time. Everyone seems to believe that APEX is abruptly falling apart. Our demise has been greatly exaggerated, our reputation precedes itself. I lost for the first time since DECEMBER 2018 in an unsanctioned match and now all of a sudden, the wheels are falling off the APEX bus? Everyone head to the nearest bridge and jump right? Why? Because a relic from the past blew several years of dust off a case and nabbed three seconds?

It’s ludicrous, there are no cracks in APEX. NONE, and to believe anything other than that would be absurd. We are not AX3 Goddamn it. We are above all that bull shit. (Robert regains his composure) Here’s the only thing that I do have an answer for. Were as formidable as we have ever been, and to think anything else would be asinine. These crackpot theories are harebrained at best. We are one of the most dominating stables walking through those curtains today. And if anyone else feels differently they can step up and we’ll sit them down just like we have done everyone else before them. Drew we have been doing this shit for a long time now, I’m not trying to be a dick here, but we are leaps and bounds ahead of the pack. We are paving the way for guys like Ned. And as far as Unknown Solider, I’ll address all that when the time is right and right now isn’t the time.

Robert, you usually have a plan going forward, you’re the glue that holds the ship together. Relentless is coming up. You’ve got to have your mind in the right place.

Listen, Drew I appreciate you looking out for me I do. But you and James need to focus on the Tag Team Championships. Let’s prove the point I just made, let’s bring home the bacon on Savage and then move forward winning this Tag Team torment. I can’t focus on Relentless right now. It appears I have a handicapped match I’ll be wrestling in on Savage.

Drew leaps from his chair revealing Kleenex boxes on both feet Robert just shakes his head watching as Drew scurries over to the cabinets grabbing a bottle of honey a cinnamon stick and bottle of Crown Royal.

If there is anything that will make you better it’s booze. A hot toddy?

Robert nods as Drew begins boiling a pot of water.

People spread speculation when there’s uncertainty at foot. Page unexpectedly leaving, APEX falling apart. It’s when we don’t already have a firm grasp on how or why things are happening in the world that’s when these bull shit rumors start to spread. People push these fabrications when they feel anxiety. Oftentimes confusion breeds uneasiness we like to have a clear sense of the world around us, we get apprehensive when we feel bewilderment and tension on its own has been linked to the rumor mill. People spread rumors when information is important. As much as you might be dying to talk about the rumor you heard about me let me tell you, I probably don’t care a ton about what you have to say. The reason is that it’s just not that relevant to me. “Rumor has it”, I’ll be walking into a handicapped match against “The Sugay Sisters”.

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Being brazen is just who Robert Main is. Arrogance has always been one of my most atrocious vices, especially in this colossal world of discombobulation. I’ve always known where I was going and how I was going to get there. But this match, this time is completely different. Without Chris Page and the Universal Championship, this match doesn’t mean a damn thing to anyone including yours truly. Now, I could do the easy thing and just call uncle Vinny and say I’m under the weather and won’t be able to make the show, and it would be the absolute truth. But that right there would mean I would forfeit the match.

Robert shakes his head

That’s just something that I cannot have on my conscience. Robert Main will never cower, shutter or fret looking across the ring at “The Sugay Sisters”. Now the both of you are fire ass hot and at some point, in the match, my pork sword might get a bit chubby. I’ll try to tape it to my leg ladies. Once that bell rings though, you each step foot in unchartered territory wandering aimlessly trapped in no man’s land with a contract killer. Everybody wants to be the very best, but the problem with being the very best is your only unparalleled until someone more exceptional comes along. Ladies, I am that man. This isn’t Twitter any more. Retweets won’t save your asses.

I’m undoubtedly so much more. Listen, ladies nothing and I mean nothing that you have done in this lifetime will have prepared you enough to neutralize me in the ring, whether Page is at my side or not. Neither of you two will shoot me down. In the ring I become a sinister son of a bitch, I feel no misery, I only dish it out. Is this morally wrong? To become this menacing MO-FO? No! I become what I must, I adjust to my surroundings. This match is a message, to all the miscreants lying in wake like our new Universal Champion. To those sheltering their selves in the shadows, biding their time to come out of the woodwork and strike like a snake.

Tread lightly bitches, Robert “The Omega” Main always gets his payback. I’m not the one you want to test. I may have fallen from grace; this match starts the climb back to the top of the mountain where I belong. I am nothing more than an innovator with a dream I’ll be the first to admit that I have some very unconventional methods to my madness but look where they have gotten me. To a place, most will never experience and that is a shame. Everyone should have a feeling of gratification one in their lifetime. I know how life should be and I understand that others in this company envy me. In my situation, I will simply show no sympathy or leniency.

Not because I don’t care, because I can’t. Pity doesn’t make men Champions. I can make the hard call. I refuse to have goodwill or sympathy in the warzone known as the squared circle. I’ll show no solicitude, there will be no good-heartedness or brotherly love. “The Sugay Sisters” this is going to be a one sides pounding and ladies, unfortunately, “The Omega” will be swinging the hammer. The storm is about to smack you dead in those pretty faces. Even though this match means nothing at all now, I still cannot allow the two of you to win. Laying down isn’t in my DNA, it’s not who I am. The two of you have been away for some time now, being away makes you realize you’re not as strong as you thought. Savage for the first time in each of your careers you’ll meet the whirlwind. I pray for each of your sakes that you are ready.

Robert’s eyes instantaneously move towards the patio door as James, Ned and Cent all walk in wearing their swim trunks.

Drew, what on Earth are you making it smells amazing!

Bob’s under the weather. Hot Toddy. Crown Royal, some lemon juice, honey, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Raven looks surprised

Crown Royal? I’m in. Make it two.

Drew once-overs Centurion handing Robert his hot toddy turning his nose up

Oh, look. The traitor.

Drew, come on man how many times do we have to go over this? I made a promise, I’m a man of my word.

Man of your word huh? Why don’t you tell Robert that while you pull the knife out of his back?

Robert grins for a moment shaking Centurion’s hand

Robert, about Savage.. I had no idea.

Robert reaches out grabbing Centurion by the shoulder

I know you didn’t. None of us did. Don’t worry about it.

Raven leans against the granite countertop next to Robert as Drew sneers handing Raven his hot toddy. Raven remains silent for a moment before speaking up.

Robert I’m….

Don’t!

Robert fist bumps Raven as they both take a sip of their drinks. Robert then gazes over his coffee cup towards Ned.

Kid, it’s good to see you.

Ned scans the tile floor for a moment then gives Robert a bro hug

Robert I’m sorry about what happened.

God damn it guys!

Robert bashes his hot toddy down on the countertop shattering the coffee mug

Can we stop this? I mean look at us. We look like we each fucked our grandmothers or some shit. There is no damn reason for anyone of us to have our heads hung in defeat here. For the first time in years, we lost a piece of hardware, big fucking deal. This was bound to happen at some point, right? We all knew this would happen, it was just a matter of time. Now here we are. This is nothing we cannot prevail over. We are still the longest-reigning Tag Team Champions in XWF history and no one can take that from us. NO ONE! Ned, you have a 24/7 case that you can cash in anytime you want.

Cent you have a Hart Championship match coming up. Guys we’ve got the world by the balls. Why in the hell are we crying over spilt milk? Relentless we have an opportunity to win the Tag Team tournament, win the Hart Championship and regain the Universal Championship And depending on what Ned decides we could take another title. I’ll surrender the Championship every fucking time if we’ve got room like this to maneuver. We lost one sure. That is not on any of you in this room. That falls in my lap. It’s on me. Gentlemen look at the upside here. We could walk away with five Championships in one night. Let’s pick those heads up huh? Let’s go into Savage and tear the house down as only APEX knows how.

Robert places his fist out as each of the brothers look at one another. Raven adds his fist followed by Ned and Centurion. Drew waits a second before grinning adding his fist.

This was just a bump in the road. Great things are ahead of us.

Drew glances at Centurion as the scene begins to fade

Back-stabber!

SIGH…..

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