It took Lux's breath away just how much the beach had changed in such a short time. The beach had changed from time to time, for what reason Lux was not sure. She and Corey had sometimes discussed the possible symbolic or psychological ramifications of the changes, that maybe the subtle alterations were a reflection of each of their subconscious brought to “life”, so to speak.

Looking at the beach now, Lux prayed that was not true. But she feared deeply that it was.



Because gone was the lush detail, the verdant skyscape, the bright colors and textures that made stepping onto the beach akin to stepping into a work of art. No, now it was dull, choked by a viscous fog so thick she almost missed seeing Corey, standing ankle deep in the deep blue of the placid waters. Lux looked up, confirming there was no sky. Or at least, none they could see.

Lux waded out to within a few feet of Corey. He still hadn't been able to so much as look at her. Lux choked down her feelings, mustering up the fortitude to tell this young man she had so many conflicting, terrifying, and beautiful feelings for that she had failed him yet again.

Corey, I'm sorry, but I didn't win at March Madness. She spoke the words like tearing a band-aid off a fresh wound, pushing the words out for want of being rid of them, as though they were poison. I know you worked so hard and....

You're just full of disappointments lately, aren't you?

Corey's words were an icy shiv to the abdomen, yet from that bitter pang a burning anger started to radiate. Corey, I fought for you with a shrapnel wound! What would you had me do, risk even more damage to your body?! The words burned in her throat. But she would not let them out. So she swallowed them, and they sank like lead in her belly. Frowning slightly, she turned to leave.



But she hadn't gotten far when a dazzling burst of illumination turned their environs into a pallid pitch. She wheeled around to look over the foggy waters to see the last vestiges of a lightning strike, followed soon after by a dolorous clap of thunder. Thunder...here?

She looked about for Corey, but he was lost in the fog.

Later

….that's what he said.

Lux intoned cooly, hands draped over the steering wheel of her newly purchased Impala. It was parked adjacent to an In-and-Out burger, having just parted ways with the drive through. Her forearm still bore the telltale sign of the bullet graze she suffered taking the fight to Aiwass, a white bandage wrapped tightly around it. Beside her, The Engineer Dexter Bright sat, hungrily plowing through the remains of his In-and-Out Burger. With a swipe of his forearm across his mouth, he replies. Daaaaamn.

Yeah. Lux sighs, blinking back the verdant sun coming through the window.

He's kinda right though. You were a pretty big let down at March Madness! Now I gotta hope “No titty Vampirella” or “Teen Beatdown Magazine” can get the job done on Bobby! That shoulda been you! Engy waves what's left of his cheeseburger in Lux's general direction as he chides her.

….

Engy looks at Lux, frowns and mutters something under his breath, before returning his attention to her. Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I know you tried. And you didn't 'zactly have a lot goin' in your favor. How's the shrapnel wound?

Hurts like a bitch.

Yeah...yeah...they do. Engy snorts and takes another bite. You think the kid will be ok?

Lux's hands tighten over the steering wheel. I don't know.

Shit.

Silence reigns in the car for a moment as Engy polishes off the last of the burger. Hopefully I can pass this one without shitting my pants. Fuckin' treatments, man. He tosses the bag out the window. Lux shoots him a disapproving look in response and Engy shrugs back at her. Whaaaaat? It's all goin' to hell in a hand cart anyway, right?

That's what we're trying to prevent, Dexter. And on that note, we need to get to work. And you need to start telling me everything you know about Madison's holdings so we can find this bitch.

And we will, but you already promised you'd help me with my Bucket List today to make up for March Madness!

So help me GOD. Lux cursed internally. But she had to play nice. Dexter Bright, for all his innumerable faults, was the closest connection she had to Madison and the beast known as Aiwass. Dexter had sacrificed it all in declining Aiwass' offer to be his Engineer, and was stricken with terminal cancer for his troubles. He was also the long time client of Madison Dyson, and knew her better than most. Both factors, improbably found in this former Universal Champion who was presently wiping his greasy fingers all over the door to the glove box, made him a key asset in Lux's war. So yes, sacrifices had to be made on her part. And today, the sacrifices read something like this:

ENGY'Z BUKKIT LIST (ASAP stuf I wanna do 4 I DIE :( ) 1) bang bothe Olson twinz 2) embiggify my dik 3) KILL BOBBY MANE!!!!! 4) put donots on my dik and hav a hot fat (not 2 fat tho) chik eat dem all off 5) sing waterfawls at grave of lisa lefteye lopez wile NOT cryin like a bich 6) bye one a dem weird pyrmid tooms like nikolas cage got its badass 7) KILL BOBBY MAINE! 8) Fuk Jenny Mist (agin, cuz I alreddy did) 9) shoot a kid in the fase 10) KILL BOBBY MINE! 11) Binge wach Sliders 12) bitch about how much last 3 seesons of slidrs suk!!!! 13) git a puppie!!!!!! 14) Git rite with Jesuz 15) Kiss seth fedder (2 prov I aint gay)

Lux drops the paper down from in front of her face, looking rather exasperated. How do you spell Lisa “Lefteye” Lopez's name correctly, but misspell the name of your bitterest rival three different ways?

MY MIND IS A WONDERLAND OF CONTRACTIONS!

….contradictions?

No, that's just FILTHY!

Lux looks at him blankly. Engy swats at the air in annoyance.

Now pick somethin' from the damn list to help me with!

Eyes rolling right the hell out of her head, Lux shoots a cursory glance back at Engy's bucket list. The puppy one. I guess.

SWEET! Engy fists pumps the air.

But after this, we get serious. Understand?

You got it! Until my next wacky adventure that is. Engy stops short, smiling awkwardly. That last part was supposed to be quiet!

Maybe we can try having “all your parts” be quiet for the rest of the ride?

I'll give it the ol' college try, but like I said before my treatments are makin' my guts go all topsy turvy. You got a blanket I could sit on maybe or.....?

Muttering to herself, Lux rolls down her window and peels out of the parking spot.

A Little While Later.....

We next join the Television Champion in waiting and Engy in what looks to be an SPCA. Walking down a slim aisle with dog kennels on either side, the environs are filled with echoed barks and whines. A woman in her 50's is walking with them, her name tag helpfully identifying her as a volunteer named Gladys.

As you can see Mr. Bright we have a whole bunch of adorable eager candidates for you to consider. Gladys gestures towards the kennel's on either side. Do you have a particular breed in mind?

One that mauls greasy looking bikers.

The volunteer looks confused, and Lux jumps into the gap. He's joking! He has a weird sense of humor.

No I.... But Lux silences him with a quick elbow nudge to the ribs.

Oh, haha! The volunteer laughs nervously, but clearly still isn't catching on. Well, how about these lovely boys? We just got them in, they're brothers!

The volunteer stops in front of a particular kennel and points inside. Within it are 3 dogs. One of them has a reddish coat, another has a black coat that looks matted and unkempt, and the third is clearly the best put together looking of the bunch, with a fine close cropped coat and a rhinestone collar.

What's up with the one with the collar?

Oh, well he's a champion show dog! Unfortunately their owner died in a tragic accident and no one stepped up to care for these poor babies, it's too bad. But yes, that one is quite a catch. And then there are his brothers....

The red one starts furiously humping the matted one.

….they're also....there. The volunteer intones with a forced smile. Now, I would like you to consider that even regular non-champion dogs need homes too, it's not always about the flash and dazzle...

Nah, fuck the other ones I want the champ!

Lux shoots Engy an annoyed look, but he's naturally oblivious. Just then, as the red dog is furiously pounding away while the matted one mostly just looks confused and derpy, the red coated dog pukes copiously.



Lux covers her mouth to conceal a laugh. Oh my....

BWAHAHAHAHA! Those dogs SUCK. Yeah, I want that one. Engy points emphatically at the champion dog.

Well sir, you need to do a meet and greet first. I can find you a room if you'd like?

Engy nods and the volunteer excused herself to go grab a leash. Returning with one, she opens the kennel and affixes the leash to Engy's dog of choice. By this point the matted dog is stupidly rubbing it's face in the pile of puke while the red dog licks its balls. Lux and Engy follow the volunteer to the meet and greet room, where the dog is unleashed. I'll be back soon. Have fun with your meet and greet! The volunteer intones cheerfully, closing the door behind her.

Lux turns to consider the dog, and then Engy. A dog is a big responsibility Dexter, and I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it will likely outlive you.

Yeah, I know. But I never got to have normal people stuff like a dog. I figure now's my last chance. 'Sides Jo can look after it while I'm gone.

Lux turns a skeptical eye towards Engy. Does he know about this plan of yours?

Not yet! He withdraws his cellphone and starts fiddling with it. Lessee, where's that damn app...?

What are you doing?

He smiles satisfactorily, having found what he was looking for. Well, you know how my life can be pretty crazy, right? It's basically nonstop barely controlled chaos, with me at the center making life stressful as shit for everyone around me all the time, but somehow they all still love me?

“Love” is a strong term.

Ok, they TOLERATE me. But anyway, I got to make sure this dog can hang. Engy puts the phone right up to the dog's face, and starts repeatedly pressing a big red button that has appeared on the screen. Each press brings an obnoxious air horn sound effect.



The dog immediately cowers, tucking it's tail between it's legs and retreating under the bench. Lux looks instantly annoyed. Engy, STOP THAT!

THIS DOG HAS NO CHILL! He follows the dog under the bench, continuing to press the button and making more air horn sound effects, jamming the phone up against the dog's face as he does it. The dog tries to cower further but hits the wall. Some champion! More air horn sound effects follow, and the dog pisses right on the floor. Lux reaches over Engy's head and snatches the phone from his grasp. HEY!

I'm not letting you abuse that dog. She puts his phone in her back pocket.

It's not abuse, it's getting the dog ready for the reality of my everyday life. 'Sides, a champion dog should be able to put up with that shit! Engy moves to get up off the floor, but in so doing he plants his hand right in the dog's growing puddle of piss. FUCK!

Serves you right. Lux looks at the dog again. You know Engy, just because somebody's a champion doesn't necessarily mean they can handle the rigors of that lifestyle. Some people break under the pressure of being at the top. And some don't even necessarily want to be champions at all.

Engy wipes his piss covered hand on the wall. But that's fuckin' . Who would be a champion but then NOT want to be a champion? Why would you even go for it if you didn't want it?

Why indeed? Lux looks pointedly at the camera.



SHIT DONOVAN BLACKWATER ACTUALLY SAID

Quote:I don't want to be the television champion anymore. Yeah, it was fun but I think daddy's had enough now. See, while Azrael carried it like a badge of honor, for over nine months. Taking on the role of longest reigning television champion, to date. I feel like it's more of a shackle. A tether to one brand, limited and short sighted. 

I mean, this poor dog probably didn't have much of a choice. Unlike a person who has to choose to pursue something they don't want.

Which would be like, hella dumb.

Right.

But what if they kinda liked it at first but then just, ya know, got sick of it?

Lux pretends to muse on this, but not too long because the prospect of someone getting sick of being a champion is pretty stupid too. I suppose that's possible. It is conceivable that some mental invalid out there somewhere would decide they didn't want to be a champion anymore, or would decide that the championship they did have was somehow beneath them now. But that would, of course, be a colossally insulting affront to the people who break their bodies every day to win championships. It would be a massive slap in the face to the legions of people in the past who fought and bled for the right to hold that title.

This person sounds like an epic level turd lord.

Yeah, they definitely do. Especially if, despite saying the title was beneath them, they continued to successfully defend it. I mean, defend it why? So they could continue to dunk on the division that they swear up and down is so far beneath their exotic wrestling palate? To hold their nose and utter “this fecal sandwich is so far below my standards” after they already ate most of it?

I do that at restaurants to get free food sometimes.

Lux looks seriously aggravated. It's just so tremendously nonsensical and patronizing, so utterly out of step with the spirit of competition. Obnoxious. Totally obnoxious.

Engy starts after taking a moment to inspect the dog. Hey, you know what I just realized?! I think this dog is a girl!

Oh, it's a bitch alright. Again, a penetrating look at the camera.

Engy backs off from the dog, shaking his head. Ehhhh, ya know what? I decided I don't really want a dog after all. You're right Lux, it's a lot of 'sponsibilty and I hate 'sponsibility!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Startled, Engy and Lux turn towards the door to see that the volunteer has returned, and she's holding something in her arms. Sorry to interrupt, but I was just informed that this dog is not ready for adoption after all! It just tested positive for worms, recurrent rectal prolapse, and urinary incontinence. But we can offer this dog as a substitute for the champion dog! The volunteer reveals what she's holding.



Engy laughs uproariously. And then he grabs his phone out of Lux's back pocket and blares the air horn in the ugly dog's ear. The dog doesn't react whatsoever.

It's deaf.

I'll take it! He grabs the dog out of the volunteer's arms. This fuckin' thing looks like it might even die before me! And then a sudden expression of surprise lights Engy's face. Hey, weren't you supposed to cut that Donovan Blackwater spot today?

Lux's jaw goes slack, looking like she wants to scream but just can't muster the requisite outrage in the face of such abject obliviousness. Just fill out the paperwork for your stupid dog and let's get out of here.

fin!