A phone conversation.


"You did what?"


Ava Monroe inquired with shock filling her voice. Her daughter had done quite a bit of wild things in her life but this was by far the wildest and the worst. Ava was beside herself with astonishment and horror.


"I joined the XWF, it's a wrestling federation. I thought it would be fun and besides, I have a friend that wrestles there."


Abigail Monroe replied with glee. She was excited and it definitely resonated through the phone's receiver as she did a small hop out of happiness. She was going to be a wrestler and the best part was that she got to work for the same company that Azrael was employed with.


"Fun. You think performing in a ring for a bunch of lunatics and weirdoes, would be fun? You could be injured or worse! Killed! On live television, my baby could be murdered by a bunch of wild animals masquerading as people! It's not right, I tell you, it's not right. What's a poor mother to do though, right? Just sob her eyes out every night until she gets... THE CALL!"


Overreaction was Abigail's mother's strong suit. Almost as if on cue, this was the prime start to an example of that. Abigail sighed softly to herself. It begins.


"Mom, you're overreacting. It'll be fine. No one's getting murdered. Well, I'm not getting murdered. I can't promise that no one will ever be murdered in that ring. It has happened before and it'll probably happen again. Not by me but definitely someone at some point is getting killed by someone else in that ring or a ring that's very similar to it."


"My goodness, you're already talking like one of those savages. If only your father were here to witness this, god bless his soul... but he's at the market right now, buying cantaloupes, there's a sale going on, I thought we should stock up. Anyway, who's this friend that you mentioned earlier? Why haven't I heard you talk about this vicious wrestler friend before?"


"He's not vicious... well, not to me anyway, and I have mentioned him before. His name is Azrael Erebus."


"Oh. That alien you befriended. You know, you should be careful around that man, you never know what sort of diseases he might be carrying from space. Then the next thing that'll happen is that you'll come down with some alien plague. How are you supposed to find a cure for that here on Earth? Hmmm. Tell me, how do you cure space pox or intergalactic malaria? You don't, that's how. You can't treat some strange space disease here on Earth. You couldn't possibly do something like that. So what happens then? I'll tell you what happens. Then, my baby is dead, all because she had to befriend this man from space. Totally unworth it if you ask me. Which obviously you didn't cause I would have warned you all about this beforehand if you had. Like to break a mother's heart."


The overreaction roller coaster was going into hyper-speed now. Brace yourselves passengers. Please stay inside your cars and do not unfasten your seat belts. There's a loop coming up and a couple tall hills, with drops that'll definitely make for some screams and terror that won't easily be forgotten.


"Will you please stop hypothetically killing me. Please. Azrael doesn't get sick and if for some reason he did, he would be better in less than five minutes because his body can heal itself. Plus, on top of that, I doubt if he was contagious with some super space virus that he would've interacted with me in the first place. He would have been too busy wondering how that happened while his body healed itself."


"Are you sleeping with him?"


"What?"


Abigail wasn't prepared for that one. She should have been but she wasn't. Instead she let it blindside her like getting hit with a sack full of so many potatoes. The sack collided with her and left her in the wake of its strike. Mentally staggering around and dumbfounded.


"It's a simple question, Abigail. Are you having sex with that man from space? Is that why you're so defensive of him? Talking about his body like you know everything about it. You're sleeping with him, aren't you? Oh lord, I'm going to have a half alien grandchild, I just know it. When I show off pictures, people will ask 'Ava, why does your grandbaby have tentacles?' and then I'll have to say because the father of the baby came from space. Do you know what people will think? Do you care? It's bad enough that you're going to be hurling yourself around a wrestling ring, more than likely dressed in next to nothing but on top of it, you'll be putting me into a position to explain why I have a green grandchild. Honestly, I thought I raised you better than this, Abbie."


There's that loop.


"I'm not sleeping with Azrael. We're just friends. End of story. Although, even if I were in an intimate relationship with him, I wouldn't get pregnant. His species can't procreate with humans or any beings from this planet. It doesn't work, his sperm wouldn't take to my eggs. Ergo there would never be a baby. Not unless..."


"Ahah! So there is a way. I knew it."


Stupid. Abigail smacked herself in the forehead, She should have simply left it at, it wasn't possible to have babies with Azrael. Ol' Quickdraw Ava caught that one with her six shooter in a single shot though. Six shooter. Abbie wanted one of those right now, to shoot herself in the head or possibly to shoot the phone, she wasn't sure which but something would definitely get shot.


"Yes, but it's totally irrelevant, because I'd have to take on the trouble of locating a special fertility crystal, or learn an incantation that would cause this weird storm that induces intergalactic fertility. I really don't see myself sanely doing either of those things. Like not ever in this plain of existence, would I ever take part in the effort of these steps. I just joined a wrestling federation, which means that I want to wrestle, not have babies."


"So you are sleeping with this alien."


Here come those hills.


"Mom! Geez louise! I'm not having sex with Azrael Erebus! Can we please get off this merry-go-round cause my head is spinning and I think I'm about to lose my lunch."


"Is he that repulsive that the very idea of sharing a bed with him makes you nauseous? Why are you even friends with a man like that then? It sounds sadistic."


Drop one. Riding onward to hill number two.


"No. He's not repulsive. He's an extremely, attractive man. However, he's also a very good friend of mine and I would never want to screw that up by throwing sex into the mix. "


"Why would that happen? You know why that would happen, because you sabotage every relationship that you've ever been in, it's like after two months, something happens and then you're single again. Like that one boy... what was his name, it started with a J... or an A, or was it a Y... possibly a Z?"


Hill two.


"Yes, mom. I was in a relationship with Jay-Z."


"Who's Jay-Z? What's a Jay-Z"


"You literally just spelled out Jay-Z. Those letters that you were rambling, they spell out Jay-Z. He's a rapper."


"You dated a rapper? When did you date a rapper? I don't care very much for that style of music. It sounds like a bunch of shouting and cursing to me. And random gunfire. Why do they need guns firing off while they shout and curse? Utterly distasteful."


Drop two... not so bad.


"I've never dated a rapper or anyone with a name starting with those initials. It was just funny. You know? Haha! Like it's funny that you rambled out a slew of letters, that randomly spell out the name of the rapper, Jay-Z. How often does that happen? It was just weird and funny. I was kidding."


"I don't think that's funny. You nearly gave me a heart attack, thinking that you were dating a rapper at one point in your life. You could have been shot or worse."


"Oh boy. His name was Frank... Mom, his name was Frank."


"Who's name was Frank?"


Oh wow. Hill three? How many hills are there?


"The guy I dated, the one you were trying to remember. The guy that I was with for two months. His name was Frank."


"Oh yes, that's right, lovely young man. Whatever happened to Frank?"


Ahhhh! Third drop, not scary at all, the car simply malfunctioned and its stuck there, staring down at the track while the track looks up at the car. The desire to climb out is there too, yet the knowledge that one might fall and gain a broken neck dwells there as well. The drop isn't that far but that's the ever present luck. If attempted, it'll happen.


"We broke up."


"Yes, I know that but why?"


"I don't know cause The Rat Pack missed him."


"What?"


"Yeah, the limelight just wasn't the same for Peter, Dean, Sammy and Joey without Frank, so we broke up because he needed to be set free in order to perform with them again. Of course, I agreed cause this gal is no, Yoko."


"Oh, you're being funny again. With all this material that you keep coming up with, you should have simply gotten a job in Vegas, telling jokes in a Casino. At least then you wouldn't have to fight like some lady barbarian in a wrestling ring."


"Oh but Dad would miss you if that happened because there's no way the audience would be entertained. Heaven's no. Not unless the act was being done by the both of us on stage. So you'd have to leave Dad and travel to Vegas with me and perform. Leaving poor poppa back at home while we pursued fame and fortune. Which would ultimately lead to my tragic death, from all the blows to the head that I took when I tried to knock myself unconscious in order to stop the madness, at least for a short while and then, it would be only you, alone in Vegas. That doesn't end well either though, sorry to say. Since the act wasn't funny without the both of us, you couldn't do it alone either, so you'll turn to gambling and then prostitution. Suddenly, you wake up and you're in bed with Jay-Z and you get shot cause that's what happens when you're around rappers. You get shot."


"You're being patronizing, aren't you?"


"Only a little."


"Well, you know, I only worry about you. I don't want to see anything happen to my little girl."


"I know and I appreciate that but I promise you, I'll be fine. Everything will be just fine. You'll see. You can turn on the tv and see me in the ring, all pumped up and psyched, ready to fight. Jackie Peppers will come out and we'll do battle. He'll do his thing and I'll do mine and then, a winner will be declared cause that's how a wrestling match works. I'm not exactly familiar with Jackie Peppers but he was in the Second Chance Battle Royal and seemed to do alright for himself, till Griffin MacAlister eliminated him."


"What's a Jackie Peppers?"


"He's Dr. Peppers brother?"


"Abbie."


"Father?"


"Abigail."


"Mother?"


"Abigail Monroe!"


"He's a wrestler and the person that I'm going to be facing on Warfare."


"Warfare? The show is called Warfare? Oh lord have mercy, my child is going to get murdered on live television, for sure."


"No, I'm not, Mom. It's going to be great. I'm wrestling in a match and there won't be any murder but there will be entertainment. This can be assured cause I can do things the other wrestlers can't and that fact will awe and astound. I'll create a huge tidal wave out of nowhere and knock Jackie Peppers from the ring and the audience will be shocked into silence. Then, I'll drop a giant water bomb on his head from the rafters and all the people in the front row will be soaked, but it'll be okay, because they'll be that thrilled that they got to see it happen up close."


"So you're going to reveal that you're a Water Elemental to the world?"


Oh crap. The car started up at warp speed and zoomed down that hill and went straight for a fourth hill. Seriously how many hills does this roller coaster track have?


"It's not exactly a secret. Azrael revealed that he was an alien to the world and while some people are jerks about it, for the most part the rest of the world is pretty chill on the subject matter."


"So because this alien revealed himself to the world, you have to do the same? Honestly, it's like you're obsessed with this man. You've got to be sleeping with him, it's the only explanation. He wrestles, you have to wrestle, he reveals the truth about himself to the world, now you have to do the same. If he tossed himself off the roof of a skyscraper, would you do that too?"


Drop four! Whoa! That one was crazy! Fast up and fast down. Some kid certainly pissed himself on that one, for sure.


"It depends. Are we playing Splat?"


"What?"


"Splat. The sound someone might make if they threw themselves off a skyscraper. My version would probably be called Splash, cause I'd more than likely chicken out at the last second and convert my body into water. He'd go splat though. Unless, he cheated and teleported, only to reappear standing on his feet cause he wanted to look cool. Stupid cheater. I bet he would do that and then, he'd laugh cause I transformed into water and now I'm a puddle on the ground, while he's standing there, perfectly unharmed. Typical."


"So you're sleeping with this man, aren't you?"


Sudden brick wall! Yep. The roller coaster just crashed into a brick wall that grew out of the track. All the cars are strewn about and destroyed! There's blood and body parts everywhere! Somehow a head was severed from a body and it's embedded into the brick wall. Still, the kid who pissed himself is alive and unharmed. Most likely so he can be horrified, traumatized and humiliated, all at the same time. Then the camera goes off. Why it was put there is beyond any sane, rational reason but it was placed there. So the photograph of the great death coaster, can live on in the hearts and minds of the world, for ages to come. Urine boy tries to get out of his car. He yanks at the seat belt. It's stuck. Figures. Poor urine drenched boy. Somewhere a sad trumpet sounds.


"Hey Mom, I have to go the strudel... roast... coconut... asparagus... pie... thing... is sizzling? Burning? Done? Mom, I just have to go but I promise to call again before my match."


"Yes, of course, well I have to go myself. Your father just came back and while he was only supposed to buy a few cantaloupes, instead it seems your father decided to buy out the store. You know your father and sales though."


"And yet, you keep forcing him to go to the store, during them."


Abigail stated softly under her breath.


"What was that?"


"Nothing. I love you, Mom. I'll talk to you later."


"I love you too, Abigail. Stay safe and please, don't surprise me with any grandbabies, if you are engaging into intercourse with that alien. Remember, no glove, no love, Abigail."


Abbie yearned for that six shooter. She settled for clunking her own forehead against the wall. It was a dull pain. Not quite there to impose too much agony but just enough hurt to make its presence known. Much like her mother's words brought on the dull pain of slow, torturous, mental anguish.


"Bye, Mom."


"Goodbye."


Abigail ended the call, opened her fridge and grabbed a beer. She was far too sober for all that had happened, during that phone call.