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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · (09-10-2017)

Now, I tried to be a nice guy. I tried to be a real company fella. When I saw this stupid Punjabi Prison-themed Shove It, I knew it was gonna be a financial sinkhole of epic proportions. I knew it'd be an empty arena special in the fuckin' flesh, in 2017: the year where shitty indy shows that draw crowds of less than 500 go viral. That ain't an indictment on the talent. There's a lot of quality guys and good prospects on the card. But because the whole thing was fucked from the word go. From the 2008 vintage MySpace "welcome to my twisted mind" thought process of a lumbering queer who looked at this as an opportunity to play with people like a

loser plays with dolls rather than put on a good event.

The kicker was, in spite of the talent, there was no transcendent talent, no big match that could get people's attention in spite of the awful gimmick. I mean, who was there to pair up?

Caedus? Bourbon? Both phenomenal talents (yeah that's right Robbie, I just gave your fat ass props - cherish it). Quality draws. Those two against each other would make one hell of a co-main event.

I'm sorry, but it's true. Caedus vs. Bourbon could main event any sanely booked, decently promoted, aiming-to-make-fucking-money show. But that ain't what this is about. I don't think they could hoist the show out of the massive pit it's already in. Not taking anything away from them, this is all on the back of Oswald Autism.

What, is he gonna put Jenny Myst in the main event just so she can underachieve harder than the time she lost a belt that was pretty much gift wrapped for her back when the level of talent in that division pretty much made the fucking Bombshell title a vanity belt? Yeah, okay.

He had Samuels, but that was always tentative. Samuels has dignity after all, and he wasn't gonna take a pity main event on a card that actively drove people out of the arena's immediate area.

That was, until Samuels had me. Arzegotti vs. Samuels was the main event this card didn't deserve. The one that would actually get eyes on the product. The one that might've actually made this show some fucking money.

Then Samuels retired. Nothing wrong with that, I respect his decision.

But that leaves one thing. I'm still ready. I could go right back to my desk but nah, I got the itch. I want to save this fucking show from itself. But now I need an opponent. Me vs. Caedus, or Bourbon, or anyfuckingbody has the oomph that them against themselves didn't have.

Fuck it, I'll carry Jenny Myst to another undeserved opportunity. Better yet, I'll take her boy toy and embarrass him like he was totally going embarrass literal enhancement talent Shaun Crowe until the tables got turned on that one.

That'll even let me crack out the ol' Alison Brie in predicaments gif gag.

Please, XWF. Let me save this show that doesn't deserve it. Let me do the right thing by this company and this business for once in my miserable life.

I would just call up the big Q and get that match going but that'd be too easy. I want to work for this for once.

Barney Green · **09-09-2017, 02:08 PM**

Im game

The Engineer · **09-09-2017, 02:12 PM**

Just wait until Samuels unretires after they get done attacking and humiliating Peter. That should happen before Punjabi, right?

I'd send Engy in, but honestly he's been waiting to fuck up Chasm for a long time and he really wanted to do it at this obscene clusterfuck of a show, so I dunno.

I vote for fighting Jenny Myst. I'll be her ace in the hole again so she's guaranteed to fuck it up.

The Engineer · **09-09-2017, 02:14 PM**

(09-09-2017, 02:08 PM)Barney Green Said: Im game

But he said he wanted to work for it.

Barney Green · **09-09-2017, 02:23 PM**

(09-09-2017, 02:14 PM)Maddy and Engy Said:
(09-09-2017, 02:08 PM)Barney Green Said: Im game

But he said he wanted to work for it.

It takes a lot of skill to have 30 wins and 125 losses though.

Equinox · **09-09-2017, 03:56 PM**

My man making it real in this mutha. His place isn't sitting at a desk, but in the ring winning gold. Opportunities don't come very often and it's a damn shame Sammy is retiring. But I suggest he holds off on that thought for one last match. As it stands, this show is only watchable by tweens who have nothing else better to do than to stream it for free on some God aweful service. There's nothing on the card that even I would pay to see. But these gears of mine are a grinding. The hamster is running full speed ahead and the light bulb is brighter than the Bat Signal. Picture it amigos. The Kings vs Da Qlub. Ticket sales through the roof, hype up in the clouds,. Ratings blasting beyond Mars.

If ya gonna hang up the boots, hang em high my friend.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **09-09-2017, 07:48 PM**

Samuels leaving and putting me in is place. Yup im getting fucked over

Equinox · **09-09-2017, 09:16 PM**

Then why bother being a king? Join Da Qlub and be an Emperor.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **09-10-2017, 03:02 AM**

(09-09-2017, 09:16 PM)Equinox Said: Then why bother being a king? Join Da Qlub and be an Emperor.

Im a god and king so yeah

Equinox · **09-10-2017, 04:20 AM**

Suit yourself, just be sure your in a bunker somewhere when Luca and I come for the tag titles.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **09-10-2017, 09:20 PM**

Im not a tag champ though

Equinox · (09-11-2017)

The Kings do hold them my friend. Bottom line, you join them they will drag you into the middle of Da Qlub's conquest of prominence. You yourself see it too. I'd rather see you flourish with us and help with the coming ratings storm rather then lift the value of a second rate #MemeQueen and his illegitimate lover.

War has been declared and The Q will be victorious. We are the new resistance de Renaissance that's going to go through the division like hymens. All we are doing is bringing this company back to where it needs to be. And where you need to be, is with ussomewhere on a private beach feasting on Quiznos watching the sun go down while two Filipinas dry hump you till your shorts are saltier than the ocean, you know, cuz of herpes and stuff. Gotta spread that awareness.

Doctor Louis D'Ville · (09-12-2017)

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