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Phantom Panzer · (07-12-2017)

Panzer yawned as he watched the promos from his opponents and his teammate. How did he do this? Well, in his little pocket dimension, of course. Where he created a massive X-Tron sized screen and watched them, only to make it disappear before beginning to float around. He crossed his arms and legs, looking at the tiny dimension hopping camera. He then brought up a smaller screen and showed The Revival.

"Okay then, boys. You seem to be down to clown, but let's talk about something. I'm fucking F A B U L O U S. You are talking shit about me, when you're so fucking wrong about what I look like. Know what I look like? I look like Doink fucked Tim Curry dressed as It.

Hey boys, I have a recycled joke for ya. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?!

You do!?

Well ya better let the poor guy out!

AHHUAH! AHHUAH! AHHUAH! AHHUAH!

Anyway, joking aside, I have to talk about you both.

First up is Scottie Not Hottie. Hey man, I know that that the Chops are cool, but, y'know what it really says about you, though? That you really, really like anal. Like, you more than likely have Dash going absolutely mad raw dog into your cavern of loaf deliveries. It also makes me think that you're in some kind of biker gang, but y'know, man, you just make me think that you're lost. Both of you. You beat AX3? Who the fuck cares. If you beat The Motherfuckers or The Kings, I'd give a fuck. But you? You're absolutely garbage without Dash.

Now let's go onto Bobby Roode's shitty love child with Sami Zayn. You think you have talent? Dude, can I talk to you off to the side for a minute?

Yeah, listen, uhhh, I'm going to need you to go grab a paper bag, and somehow make your fat fucking head inside it, and just walk around. Because if you want to talk about ugly, all you have to look in the goddamn mirror. You do know I am a former Federweight champ, correct? Whatever you fucks have to say, I'll just destroy you in return. So let's go like this. You fucks ain't shit.

You like to claim "Oh the Media loves us!" Let me tell ya somethin' here, pahdnah, you ain't shit inside XWF. You ain't done anything that makes me even flinch slightly. You fucks won't beat me. You might beat Psycho, but me? Nah. Because you two ain't even on my level. See, I usually have a story for all of the folks at home to see, but I'm confident enough that I'm going to fucking rape you fucks with ease with just words.

So, come at me, broskis. Because I'm ready to fuck you both up. I'm ready to fucking destroy you and move on to the next round. I'm ready to take a fucking horsecock in my ass. What? You never took a fuckin' Shire horse inside your asshole? Nah, because you two ain't fuckin' man enough to let some fuckin' huge tube of meat slide inside your asshole. It's great for training, too. Helps you get tougher than just doing that gay ass shit like fighting one another.

Fuckin'

."

With that, the camera cuts the feed.

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