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Guppy Parsh · (07-03-2017)

~Act I~

[Drew's Room: Skype: 3:00 am, July 3rd]

"Sean? You on?"

"sup"

"I made a Facebook page about killing

please like it"

"lol ok"

"y?"

Why?

need to die. They're a cancer. A stain on this world. Aside from abortion and banning guns, getting rid of

was the only thing Hitler was right about.

"wuts it called?"

"Kill

For Peace. KRP for short"

"so its like a gang that kills

]

[color=#32CD32]"No, it's a political party for the extermination of

]

[color=#FFD700]"oh"

"My brother and I are going to change things. He's been writing to senators all day asking them to face the issues.

are good for nothing and soon America will take notice."

"but what if a

is really hot? i like the hot girls even if theyre retrded"

"You've seen them around our school. None of our

are hot"

"u never know drew"

"Fine, if it's a hot

you can rape her before we kill her."

Drew refreshes the page and becomes frustrated when the amount of likes on his page fail to increase.

"Why haven't you liked it yet? Don't you want updates on how we are going to answer the

question?"

"i cant like it. my sister is in the best buddies club so she takes

very seriously so i cant like funny facebook pages about

cuz then she wont like me anymore"

"Right...no more wincest."

"im behind you guys 100 prcnt but not enough to stop getting my dick wet n shit"

"No, I understand. Publicly supporting the cause could be an issue for you. I'm glad no one in my family has ties to this plague."

"im gonna fuck my sister. later drew"

"Goodnight Sean"

"Hey."

The voice surrounds him. Drew jumps out of his chair and scans his bedroom for the intruder, but there is nothing. Nothing more than his various participation trophies, a stack of dirty dishes, and a globe to remind him what those NASA shills think the world looks like.

"Don't be scared. Right now you're safer than you've ever been in your entire life."

"Why can't I see you?"

"I'm using a gadget. You are talking to Batman."

"Hi Batman?"

"Facebook is going to ban you the second someone reports that page. They're democrats which means they really overcompensate about that stuff, since they feel bad for starting the KKK."

"Oh, SHIT! If I get banned from Facebook my social life will be over and I'll never get laid, shit."

Drew scrambles to his computer and deletes his cause; throwing all 8 of his likes into the aether.

"Thanks, I guess I didn't really think being satirical in such an edgy way would have its consequences. Thanks for not letting that blow up in my face. Mass genocide of

is a hilarious concept to me, but that doesn't mean sharing it with the whole Internet with my real name attached to it is a good idea."

"Drew...you have power. You are responsible for your power. Don't do what I did. Use your power for good. Don't waste it on genocide."

"Don't worry man, there was no genocide. Just a joke that almost blew up in my face."

Drew takes a moment to look around his room. He sees a red light he doesn't recognize. He sees a stain on his mattress. He realizes his significance.

"You usually deal with more high stakes bullshit then this, Batman. I was just some joker getting banned from Facebook, why is that worthy of your time?"

Guppy could make some sort of excuse. "You were on the way to the next rapist." comes to mind, but that is a lie. Lying is bad. Something you forgive and forget, but bad nonetheless.

Drew is right. He doesn't matter. He is no one. Batman didn't have a good reason to be slumming it up with him. The truth doesn't make any sense, but it still comes out.

"I made a joke that blew up in my face too."

[June 25th]

(06-25-2017, 01:52 PM)Scully Said: "So although I was retiring, I seen this tag team tourney and I want in. I just need someone willing to give it a go.. After all I am a 3 time tag team champ.. So who wants to team with me? It could be someone's lucky day."

(06-25-2017, 01:59 PM)Theo Pryce Said: Rumor has it one of Ghost Tanks latest bowel movements is looking for a partner.

Guppy's eyes lit up upon hearing this. It was a dream of his for Scully to return, team up with another underrated wrestler, and take the world by storm by defeating high profile superstars like he did in the past. Scully and Maverick decimated Gator and Justin Sayne, and made them look like droopy eyed armless children. If Scully and Ghost Tank teamed up and joined the tag tournament he knew a similar magical moment would occur.

It was destiny.

It was fate.

It was history, doomed to repeat itself.

How though? It must happen, but how?

"I'll try to be funny! People like funny stuff! If I come up with a funny name they'll have to team up. I know! I'll call them

and reference Scully and Maverick's iconic team!"

(06-25-2017, 03:42 PM)Guppy Parsh Said: Team 2.0!

Guppy knew their fate was finally sealed. He leaned back in his chair knowing full well that he succeeded. He made it happen. He formed the greatest team in all of wrestling. Phantom Panzer and Scully, "Team

2.0".

With just three words he made every XWF fan wet their pants with glee.

The Internet went up in flames.

Guppy is back.

"No! No! I actually was just popping in for a second!" he said to himself.

He's teaming with Scully.

"No, I meant Ghost Tank!" said Guppy privately.

Next Saturday they will be in the tag team tournament. Who will their opponents be? Will he be fighting his best friend Thomas Nixon?

"These are just rumors. Nothing more." he reassured himself.

No one thought he was just calling Ghost Tank a

. He spoke up so the world's rape problem must of subsided to the point where he can afford to take time off to commit to a tournament.

The rumors kept going. A match was confirmed. The XWF fan base celebrated in the streets, elated that their hero had returned and has decided to take on his greatest challenge yet.

All because of three words that meant something else. The hype was contagious, coercive, and choked everything it touched.

Like a teenage girl surrounded by a Muslim gang on New Year's Eve, Guppy surrendered.

----

"So you made a joke and now you have to do your job for once? That doesn't seem like the worst thing in the world. Oh no! You have face Trax and Jim Caedus! They're legends! Former universal champions! You'll never win! Boohoo, Batman, part of wrestling is losing. If you weren't too busy giving titles away and only taking matches you think you will win you'd know that."

"This isn't about Trax or Jim Caedus. It's definitely not about losing."

"It sure as shit isn't about you thinking having a match will keep you from killing rapists, otherwise you'd be doing that instead of talking to me."

"Every time I sleep rapists get away. I'm one guy. I can't get them all. I'm aware of that."

"Well don't give me another flashback. Tell me what this is."

Guppy sighs and says it.

"My consent was violated."

"What?"

"My consent was violated and it's my own fault for trying to peer pressure someone else."

"Well...maybe that's a good thing."

"How?"

"Think about it, no one would have assumed you were volunteering if they weren't really excited to see you participating. Isn't that why you kill rapists, because you think that's what everyone wants you to do?"

"No, I kill rapists because violating someone else's consent is horrifying."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe it's just me that doesn't understand rape victims. Shouldn't they be flattered? Someone wants them so bad they were willing to do something "horrifying" to get in there. There are so many people who aren't wanted, why aren't rape "victims" happy they're one of the few?"

"You're crazy."

You're micro-aggressive.

"You're right. That's stupid. How about this. Forcing someone to do something they don't want to do is horrifying. Forcing someone to do something that they are kind of okay with doing because they really want you to come back and they love you is flattering. Not all violations of consent are created equally, Batman."

"Someone should have asked me to explain myself."

"If you were backing up Theo then you should have quoted him"

"That's victim blaming."

"You didn't say no. That would've solved this problem."

"That's....true."

"You should've said no! You should've gone home! You should've thought twice before you let it all go!"

"Shut up.'"

"Look, you still got what you wanted. Scully is still teaming up with an underdog to face seemingly impossible odds. If you want to look at this like you're surrendering to a rape gang, fine. You're wrong though. Rape isn't like this. Rape isn't unsolicited support. Rape isn't someone believing you belong in the same ring as Caedus and Trax. Rape isn't people hoping that you'll be triumphant and win this tournament. If rape was any of those things we'd all want to be raped. Rape is bad. This is good."

"Drew, you may be a virgin that doesn't know how to drive, who is too afraid of rejection to fill out a job application, spends every night jerking off to anime and begging for likes on Facebook, but when you're right you're right."

"If you promise to put your heart and everything you have into winning this match and this tournament, then I'll get a fucking life."

"I promise."

Guppy fin.

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