05-21-2017, 06:54 PM
Hearing commotion backstage, Mean Gene comes racing with the camera crew, knowing that only the human cyclone of serial slaughter known to mortals as THE ULTIMATE can be behind such a cacaphony of a chaos! Turning a corner, he finds himself ducking bodies and that are flying down the hallway like human missiles!
Crouching low to avoiding a flailing flying figure, he observes his old colleague, Todd Pattingale! Soon he has to hit the ground again to escape an onerous collision with Lord Alfred Hayes! Then Kevin Kelly, followed soon after by Liz Weinberg...and at last, Steve Sayors, who collides into Mean Gene, but merely bounces off harmlessly. Mean Gene looks down the hallway to see the figure of The Ultimate, yelling at the top of her powerful lungs while flexing her even more powerful muscles.
Storming down the hall, Mean Gene indignantly thrusts a microphone into The Ultimate's face.
Mean Gene: Okay, just what the heck is going on here? What do you think you're doing? You're a real sicko tossing around helpless reporters, you know that?
The Ultimate: Awww, but you misunderstand Mean Gene! They wanted to interview me for the XWF, but me and the XWF have been torn in two...we've parted ways!
Mean Gene: Now waitasec...what are you babbling about? If you're not with the XWF anymore, then why don't you just get out of here?
The Ultimate: Because Mean Gene...I'm here as an invader, an emissary, an ambassador of anger and animosity!
Mean Gene: An ambassador? An ambassador for what? What are you going on about?
Security rushes past Mean Gene, armed with tasers, bats and night sticks.
The Utlimate: For a new FEDERATION! A federation of ONE!
The Ultimate slams two hapless security guard's together like a pair of human symbols.
The Ultimate: The federation is called--
The Ultimate lays low two security guards with an awesome double clothesline.
The Ultimate. W! W! W!
With each "W" spoken, she punches a security guard in the face!
ULTIMATE! (A security guard is pressed above The Ultimate's head and hurled through the air!) BUTT! (Another is slammed through the wall and left with his legs dangling one side, while screams of women sound from the other side of the wall, behind which is apparently a women's dressing room) KICKINGS! (The Ultimate hurls a loogie that fells another security guard!) DOT! (Flicking her finger, she strikes the last member of security on the chin, KO'ing him cold!) COM!
Mean Gene stares in awe at the display of total destruction! Needless to say, he is perplexed!
The Ultimate: And I am gonna represent my new federation in the ring this next Warfare...against the fools Mezian and Obsidian! But you see, even though they are determined to face down my hostile takeover...I am also going to be initiating them into my new cult of chaos! You see, my new federation is a one-person federation, consisting of me, myself and I! But my cult is open to all...and free to join! All that's required is getting totally beat down by your's truly! At that point, you are accepted into the fold to be mocked, derided and used for target practice by other members, which at this point, consist of me! And I have great aim!
Mean Gene: So...why the heck would anyone want to join this sick cult of yours?
The Ultimate: There's a very good reason to join. My tag-team partner, Brian Harris, is the Doc Holiday of modern times...the man's life consists of getting drunk and getting into fights and the bar...or getting high on painkillers and getting into fights in the ring...he's nuts! But he's tough as crap and he does whatever the heck he wants! He might even smack Mezian sane and punch Obsidian white! But the man has no family, nobody who loves him so it won't stop there! He needs his own family so he'll steal Obsidian's wife and kids and use them as bait to lure Mezian's pretty little nuclear famiy into a trap! And after that...he might just torture them until they become alcoholic outlaws just like him!
Why do you think I teamed with him? Even I couldn't stop the man! Mezian and Obsidian have to join the cult for the sake of their families to defeat The Outlaw Brian Harris! Is any of this getting through Mean Gene? The only thing standing between the townspeople and "The Outlaw" Brian Harris is the Ultimate's CULT OF CHAOS!
And if they don't care about any of that...about there families about the town, about AMERICA....
THEN I SAY MAYBE ME AND THE OUTLAW BRIAN HARRIS MIGHT JUST HAVE TO WHUP THEIR SCRAWNY LITTLE BUTTS! WE'LL WASTE HIM LIKE GHENGHIS KHAN ON PM DAWN! LIKE GODZILLA ON BAMBI! EXCEPT THIS IS GONNA BE A TOTAL MISMATCH! THOSE UNAMERICAN TRAITORS! I GAVE THEM A CHANCE!
The Ultimate stomps off down the hall in a huff of anger.
Mean Gene: Well, she certainly made her point, whatever it was. This is Mean Gene...signing off!
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