“April first a day for fools. Foolish men like Robert Main, LJ Havok, and Robbie Bourbon learn first hand how foolish it is to believe I am a no body. Lethal Lottery just days away, four men collide. Only one will walk away glorious. Will the Hart Champ rise from the shadows? Will Robert Main show the XWF Universe he is the Gold Standard? Will LJ Havok show the XWF Universe exactly how God like he is? No. None of those men are The Truth. The Truth will fill The Rungardo 1st of May Stadium. Revealing a true warrior as the new Hart Champion!

Where is Bourbon? Nowhere to be found that is where. Robbie is lost, scared, and not wanting to face The Truth. After the pain he went through to survive two bouts against a monster. Robbie has already figured out in his mind, three times your out. No, no way Robbie Bourbon is walking away retaining Champ. Not as long as I am still breathing. Mr. Tidbits isn’t handing you a third win to hang over my head! Not in a cold day in hell. Fooling me twice good on you, this April first, you’ll be the FOOL! Just please show my Father he is wrong about you. Keep your head high even when you lose your Championship. Your people still need you just like mine need me!

The Gold Standard! One of the Horsemen! A real Champion! Who in the world are you fooling Robert? So you have an impressive hit list? Awesome sweetheart, I’ve had my fare share of Victories. So could I start calling it my hit list and be as cool as you? No! My hit list consists of souls I have sent to Htaed The True God, all other God’s bow! You believe your threats; insults or words bother my Father or me? Well, you are absolutely wrong. You know nothing but lies and sins. You’re soul is abused and sad. Misguided to believe a piece of dead cattle and a chunk of earth modified is POWER!

Bahahahaha and Robot Robert has the audacity to call me a SLAVE?! If you catch my drift, you damn metrosexual, material idolizing, and very FOOLISH sheep. Robert if you’re listening please let us hear your sheep wail, you hypocritical BITCH! So I may be one stupid fucking freak! But doesn’t your Butt Buddy Jim “Main’s Shield Maiden” Caedus talking shit during your promo contradict your own words? Not needing anyone, then in a promo before that, you talk about your friends Michael Graves and Cadryn Tiberius. You don’t recall talking about how you are in better company than myself? Oh damn, I didn’t do some research and know Mr. Tidbits does talk; I just don’t really enjoy it much. Instead of blabbering like a bunch of teeny bops, I’d rather beat the pussy up. I’m more of like the teeny bops’ boyfriend ready to pound and smash, keep the chitchat to a minimum.

Sorry to disappoint your lover and yourself but Father Slathe is not Catholic or Christian Priest. We won’t be able to join you in your private role-plays. I am sure it is a fantasy of yours to have a Gay Viking, a Masked Freak, and a Priest. Nothing against or anything, just not to my liking. I enjoy bringing pain on very beautiful and accomplished women. A woman you maybe Roberta but beautiful and accomplished, no! Even on Ecstasy and Viagra you wouldn’t fool me into believing those two things. Not even with that Grandma perm looking hair due! Hahaha, sorry Jim but come Lethal Lottery this Big Bad Wolf is going to rip poor transsexual Grandma to pieces. Oh I have an idea; maybe you can have his ashes turned into a large anal dildo for yourself Jim. See Robert no worries when I send your soul away at Lethal Lottery, your Shield Maiden still can be taken care of sexually. Forever your earth vessel will be praised, with moans, groans, and squeals of enjoyment.

Bet the XWF didn’t know you’s boys secret, probably better that way. Oh dammit I ruined that for you. So glad you two finally are letting the cat out of the bag. So are you two going to have a super couple name like Bradgolina? You two definitely make more of an adorable couple. You know when things are so ugly they are adorable. If I were to need to murder the both of you, I would have to break my rule of no guns. I wouldn’t want to get to close. Just teasing since you seemed to like to run your mouth a lot Robert Main. Trust me at Lethal Lottery it has now taken a wicked twist. My eyes were mainly sighted on Robbie, now you are my main target Robert. You sparked a fire inside that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Like when my mask was being surgically sewn into my skull! I don’t hide behind this mask in fear. This mask helps protect all those who oppose me. Lets just say it helps keep the hate at bay. Something, that happens to be a blessing for Robbie Bourbon, LJ Havok, and yourself Robert Main. If I wasn’t slowly being milked of my POWER! That match wouldn’t even be worthy of a XWF house show. I would quickly squash every single one of you stains on society, with in the blink of an eye!

So basically Robert even at maybe sixty eight percent of my capabilities, you lose! Every bit of punishment I went through for my fails. Has brought a new flow of energy around. Positive energy I plan on grasping and absorbing into my spirit. For now on Mister Tidbits will be overflowing with positive energy, that means no more losing for this guy, at least not for a while! Htaed and my Father showed their wrath to me. My plan is to never have to feel both at the same time again. Even though it most likely is the most effective measure to insure increase in my performance. Only because of the pain of knowing I let my Hero’s and Idles down. No, no not this time. The fire is already roaring for destruction. Knows its direction, now just waiting for the first for the perfect timing to scorch down Robert Main’s dreams, desires, and silly, FOOLISH, FOOLISH, FOOLISH fantasies. See Robert Main you have a fairy tales chance of becoming the Hart Champion. That is my destiny, how the story unfolds, and of course The Truth!”

As my voice fades out I begin to laugh dark, twisted, and slightly muffled from my mask. The cameraman then peaks over the coffin from which I am laying with his camcorder. Rolling he shoots video of myself lying down with a corpse holding its arm up waving goodbye. The cameraman screams like a little girl, before fainting.

Fade out.