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JimCaedus · (03-06-2017)

Rock Hill, SC - April 14th, 1990

”I’m into someone else.”

Cold hard truth.

I’ll give Debbie credit, she didn’t sugar coat it. She didn’t try to beat around the bush and let me down easy. She was just straight to the point.

”Who!?”

That’s the only word that I could muster up, but it got the job done. All I wanted to know was who. Debbie and I had only been dating for about 2 weeks, but I did everything that I could to make this girl feel special. I liked her a lot, and I thought the feelings were mutual, but here we are, 2 days out from prom and I’m getting dumped.

”It doesn’t matter.”

Oh but it does matter because at the time I was a hot headed teenager and if you tell me who the fucker is, I’m probably going to break his jaw!

”It does to me.”

I was fuming at this point. I was that special kind of mad, where at first glance everything looks normal, but upon closer inspection, you would realize that my body is stiff, my hands are shaking, and I look like I might explode soon. I’ve been this mad a few times before, usually with bullies. Needless to say, they didn’t have very good days. Being this upset, but also having a moment of clarity made me realize that it was probably just best for me to walk away, so I did.

The next couple of days sucked. I oddly wasn’t as torn up as I was when Ashley had rejected me. That was an overwhelming feeling of self-pity. This, this was pure anger and hate. Not for Debbie mind you, but for whoever the

was that stole her from me. I had made up my mind that I was still going to show up at prom, and I was going there for a fight. I can’t justify this course of action today but keep in mind, I’m only 18…

Rock Hill, SC - April 14th, 1990

Prom Night.

Tonight was the big night. I had stolen some whiskey from my old man, and I had quite the buzz. Here I was, pacing outside of the school gym, trying to convince myself that this was a bad idea. At the same time I was arguing the point that whoever this guy was, he deserved what was coming. I sometimes think back to this night and wonder if it was the beginning of all of my mental problems over the years. This was the first time in my life that it seemed like I was two different people who were at odds with each other.

After a while, I convinced myself that I wouldn’t be a man if I didn’t go into the gym and confront this fucker. So I downed the last bit of whiskey and threw the bottle against the brick wall of the gym. The glass shatter against the bricks made a satisfying sound as I charged in, a man on a mission. I was going to find Debbie, and I was going to kick the living shit out of whoever she was with. I didn’t give a damn who it turned out to be. It would be their fault for making a move on my girl.

Imagine my surprise when I entered the gym, and there I saw my best friend, CJ, dancing with Debbie. I stopped, frozen in my tracks by the sight that was laid out before me. This can’t be right, I thought. Maybe CJ just cut in, maybe he was trying to talk her into taking me back. Whatever the excuse, he can’t be THE guy. He just can’t. That would be an act of betrayal that’s unforgivable.

I spent the next few minutes hugging the wall in a dark corner of the gym. Watching my friend, and my now ex-girlfriend dance together. It wasn't until I watched them kiss that the reality of the whole situation set in. The funny thing was, as much as I had wanted to kick some ass a few minutes ago, now I just felt… down.

I quickly made my way back outside, trying my best to not be seen by CJ or Debbie. Emotionally, I couldn’t handle this right now. Suddenly this had nothing to do with a girl, and everything to do with the fact that my friend, my best friend, and the only real friend that I had for the last 7 years had just betrayed my trust in the worst way possible. I wasn’t sure how to deal with this situation. It would have been so much easier if it were ANYONE else with her. I was ready to take on anyone, make a big scene, get some blood on my fist, and walk away looking like a hero in my own mind. With it being CJ though… I just ended up walking home and feeling sorry for myself.

Present Day

The sounds of laughter fill the air and Cadryn and I stand outside of a big white house, launching egg after egg towards the front door. Chris Chaos was a douchebag and even though I didn’t beat him in our match, I still enjoyed fucking with him any chance that I got. Was this juvenile? Sure, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it was also fun. This is the type of things that Cadryn always comes up with. Just stupid fun things for the two of us to do.

”Gravy, get his car!”

A Sinister smile came across my face as I thought about how Chris Chaos would react to this. Sitting about 20 feet away from me was a 2016 Ford Mustang. It was a beautiful machine, not quite as cool as owning a classic, but still a respectable car. I did find it odd that Chaos, with all of his money, would even buy such a low-end muscle car, but fuck it, I’m egging that bitch. I tossed egg after egg, watching them explode and splatter all over the perfectly washed and waxed paint job. As I continued throwing eggs, eventually one of them hit with enough force to set off the car alarm.

”Un oh, time to jet!

Without a second thought, Cadryn took off running towards the front gate. However, before I could even think to follow, my attention was drawn to the front door as it sang open. Here he was, Chris Chaos, and we were about to have a rematch on his front lawn, how exciting! Thing is, it wasn’t Chris Chaos that came flying out of that door. It was a fifty something-year-old man who was less than pleased with our antics.

”What in the hell do you think you're doing!?”

He shouted at me as I just stood there like a statue. This apparently wasn’t Chris Chaos’s house. Cadryn had said that he did the research himself. He assured me that this was the address listed in Chris’s employee folder. I should have known that Chris Chaos wouldn’t buy a house in Kentucky.

”Cheryl, call the police!”

Well, I had planned on explaining myself, and helping clean up the mess that Cadryn and I had made, but that’s off the table now. The last thing anyone needs is to run into trouble with the cops. So I did the only thing that I could do in a situation like this.

I ran.

I ran like the wind. You’d never have guessed that I’m a guy in my mid 40’s by looking at the way that I moved. Being in top athletic shape will do that for you. I looked mighty impressive as I jumped a cement bench like a hurdle, scaled a tree in what looked like a single bound, and jumped over the tall metal gate, landing in the pavement below like a parkour expert.

”Cadryn, wait up!”

I exclaimed to my buddy who was already a full block ahead of me! I watched as Cadryn dove into a bush. Not the best of ideas, we need to get in the car and get the hell out of here, but we parked a few blocks away to avoid anyone seeing our license plate. Maybe not such a good idea come to think of it. It that really was Chaos’s house, it’s not like he wouldn’t know who we are anyway. I continue to run towards Cadryn until I’m finally standing in front of his hiding bush.

”Dude, come on we’ve got to go!”

”No! I’m safe in here!”

You’re not, though, that dude’s calling the cops!”

”Meep!”

”I roll my eyes, Cadryn wouldn’t say meep right now. He only does that when he is in highly uncomfortable situations. Like talking to that girl that he likes, or the argument that we had about him doing drugs. In a hurry, and with no time to waste I reach into the bushes and pull Cadryn out, only it’s not Cadryn that I pull out. It’s Peter Gilmour!

”What the fuck, Gilmour!?”

He smirks before responding.

”Not Exactly, I guess the cat is out of the bag...“

Suddenly the man before me shapeshifts into a silhouette of a man. The only detail through all of the dark black is a white tie and question mark on his face. Yep, this isn’t Cadryn, it’s…

”Random!?”

”YES IT’S ME OK! I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A FRIEND!”

I kinda suspected that something like this was going on. Cadryn had been acting a little off, but I am surprised at how well Random was able to play the part. Other than small traits that most people wouldn’t pick up on, he had Cadryn down pretty well.

”Whatever dude, stay or come on, either way, I’m out of here!”

I wanted to question his motives, maybe even kick the shit out of him for trying to fool me, but now’s not the time. I’m more concerned with getting out of here before the cops show up. We both run for another block or so until we find our rental car. A 2016 Kia Rio and yes I’m cheap, but this car is only $34 a day, and it gets 27 mpg city, and 36 mpg on the highway. That’s a steal buddy! Anyway, with the sounds of sirens quickly approaching, I stop just outside of the car as an idea pops into my head.

”Listen, you can make yourself look like anyone right?”

“Yes, why?”

“Morph into somebody who doesn’t look suspicious”

“Oh, um…. Okay… got it!”

Suddenly I watch in awe as the molecules in Randoms body begin to move around and change shape. Quickly he changes from Random, to…

A BIG NAKED BLACK DUDE, DICK JUST A SWINGING BOY! 7 foot tall, and 14 inches down, thick as a pop can, and not at all what I asked for!

”DUDE, THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK UNSUSPICIOUS LOOK LIKE!”

Random jumps a little bit, shocked that I yelled at him. Suddenly he changes form again, this time to a sweet little old lady… I’m pretty sure he’s Betty White.

”Okay, perfect! Now get in the car and pop the trunk!”

Without a word, Random does as I say. I climb into the trunk and pull it closed behind me. Random starts the car, and we are now driving down the road. I hear the sounds of sirens pass us by. It looks as though we get away this time.

**********

”Cadryn stop and look at what you’re life is becoming! Dude, you stole Natalie's car. You’re on a mission to find me, and what? Kill me? That’s what this is all coming to? Because of the FACT that I love you bro, the FACT that I’m trying to save your life!? Is is it the FACT that I’m such a wreck without you than I’m hanging out with second rate scrubs, just trying to capture a little of the magic that we had together? This shits got you all mixed up and out of shape dude! You’re talking to voices that aren’t there, you think there is a demon in your anal cavity, you think that killing one of the few people in your life is the best course of action to take, and finally, you think that I’m going to let you win at Lethal Lottery. Newsflash, that’s all the meth buddy! I gave you a win for the Heavy Metalweight title. I gave you that because I thought that maybe if I showed you that I cared, showed you that I wasn’t trying to hold you down and stand in your way as you ascend to the top, maybe you would snap out of it. Maybe you would realize the errors of your ways. Maybe you would put down the Goddamned meth pipe and get your shit together. Is that what’s happening right now? Fuck no, you’re hitting that shit like it’s one of the cock’s that everyone else around here assumes that you suck! You’re on a path right now that is going to end up costing us both our friendship, but more importantly, you are on a path that can only end with your untimely death. NOT EVEN ONCE! That’s what the fucking commercials say, bro, not even fucking once! That shit ruins your life dude! It will make you feel like a ten foot tall Superman, but it’s going to eat away at you like cancer. It’s already got your head so fucked up that I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re next move were to be jerking your dick with some bologna one the reals!

Well, fear not Cadryn, because all any of this has proven to me is that my first thought was, and is the correct course of action to take! I already wanted to win Lethal Lottery, and I was crushed when the booking sheet first dropped and I saw that we were pitted against each other. I thought that I would have trouble coming after you, putting you down on my way to the semifinals, but nah son, you’re making this easy. Now I know exactly what I have to do. I have to beat you within an inch of your life. I have to leave you busted and broken in the center of that ring. I’m going to have to come at your ass harder that Jim Caedus ever did, and do you know why? Because I know how bad your draw and two losses to Jim crushed you. I know how that literally wrecked your world, and I know how tough it will be when you lose to me.

I’ve tried showing you love. I’ve tried begging and pleading, but that shit’s got a hold on you, and you aren’t going to let it up without a fight. That’s fine, cause you and I both know that I can bring a fucking fight. To save you, I must destroy you. I have to not only pin your shoulders to the mat, but I have to leave you without so much a the tiniest shred of doubt that on THIS night, you had no chance against me. Fuck Gilmour, fuck Buronan, this is you and me, and Cadryn, don’t get it twisted. I’m still showing you nothing but love. You’re my friend, nah fuck that, you’re my hetero soulmate dude, but if I’m to get you off the crank, then love just isn’t good enough. I now realize that I need to bring out the tough love. So when it’s all said and done. After you’re pinned to the mat, and you realize that Crystal Meth IS NOT what makes you better, I’ll still be there to help lift you up.

I love you bro, but I must beat you.”

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