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Cadryn Tiberius · **03-06-2017, 10:42 AM**

Micheal Graves as the Russian. Cadryn Tiberius as Rocky.

Depression..

It often amazes me how others can be so cruel. Right around the age of twelve I had the misfortune of starting puberty. Which, as you know, does have its benefits. I was able to grow a full beard by 15, and my voice deepened so that I no longer sounded like Gadget from Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers. But, there are also plenty of downsides as well. My biggest issue, and to this day it still plagues me: Acne. My breakouts were so bad, I'm actually surprised George Bush didn't start a war with my face to farm the oil. Regardless, it was a very difficult time in my life. The lack of a suitable role model wasn't nearly as bad as the fact that the kids I went to school with were total and utter assholes. They did nothing but constantly make fun of me, bully me, and overall try to ruin my life. And sad to say, they succeeded. I convinced my mother to homeschool because I just couldn't take the bullying anymore. Needless to say, without the pressure of bullying and being made fun of, my life improved. I saw a dermatologist and my acne cleared most of the way up, and the next year I went back to school. It was a very depressing time in my life.

Much like this one. The fact that I am being forced to stand toe to toe with my best friend is preposterous. And I get it, it's not exactly anyone's fault. There was a 12.5% chance to be his partner, but as luck would have, like always, life is beating me down once more.

Sunday March 5th 2017

It's 3:00 am and we find our hero cruising down the highway in Natalie's car. It seems as though he is talking to himself once more. Could it be that Graves has managed to find his way into the mind of our hero? Probably not.

Why?

Because meth.

Cadryn: Why does he do this? Why does he say the things that hurt me the most? All he ever does is build me up, when we all know I'm just going to fall. I'd honestly rather him just talk a bunch of shit, at least then I'd have something bad to say about him. But I still have nothing bad to say about my Gravy. What the hell am I supposed to do?!

Satan Cady: Kill him.

Cadryn: Oh Christ, not you again.

Satan Cady: I told you, I'm here to stay. At the very least until we kill him.

Cadryn: We're not killing him! I love him.

Satan Cady: Hah!

!

Cadryn: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Satan Cady: Yeah, that you're a pole smoker.

Cadryn: I hate you. Regardless, we need to get to Buronan. He's the only hope I have in moving on to the next round. He is the one who can turn the tables on those two idiots. I mean, realistically, it's not like either of them have a shot at beating me.

Cadryn smiles.

Satan Cady: Yeeeees, let the hate flow through you.

Cadryn: Honestly, if it weren't for me Graves wouldn't be where he is today. I've been carrying him since our return to the XWF. My back is sore, and I'm tired. Where was my Universal Title shot? Oh wait, you were too busy hogging the limelight and getting me kicked in the face by Chaos in the process. Where was my Hart Title shot? Oh wait, you were too busy hogging the limelight and getting me Robbiebombed and then hospitalized. Well this time, you don't have me to carry you. You have to do this all by yourself, and let's be honest, you don't have what it takes. You've done nothing but lose match after match since your return. All the while I've done nothing but win. In our 8 matches, you've barely broken even. As where I am 5-2-1. When's the last time you saw numbers like that? The scale? Because that's about the only time you'll see a number like that in your lifetime. You're right though, I do have the potential to beat anyone here in the XWF, and I'm going to do so. Starting with you in this round of Lethal Lottery.

Satan Cady: WOO, GODDAMN BOY, TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL!

Cadryn: I've given my life to you. Done nothing but show you the love I've never been shown. And all you've done is hurt me. Nonstop, since this entire crazy ride began.

Cadryn stops his rant abruptly.

Satan Cady: Um, dude? You may want to look at this, he's at it again.

Cadryn pulls up Graves newest promo on his banana. Nope, still hasn't got a replacement phone, folks.

Cadryn: OH NOW GODDAMNIT. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BULLSHIT.

Cadryn whips the car off the road. He can't seem to maintain control. Cadryn crashes into a tree.

Cadryn dies.

TOLD YA!

Okay, so he's not dead. But seriously, Graves is dropping bombs, bud. I really don't think we're gonna pull out the W this time.

Cadryn: You need to quit being so negative, Jeff.

Yeah, and you need to quit doing meth..

Cadryn: DON'T YOU DARE TAKE AWAY MY METH!

Then you'd better find some way to do better. Otherwise, I'm going to change it to where you’ve just been smoking Lucky Charms this entire time.

Cadryn: I LOVE LUCKY CHARMS!

Totally not the point, dude.

Anyways, the car thing didn't happen. So back to the original story..

Cadryn: OH NOW GODDAMNIT. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BULLSHIT. EVERYTIME I TRY TO MAKE A MOVE, IT'S LIKE HE'S TWO STEPS AHEAD OF ME.

Satan Cady: We should probably just kill him.

Cadryn pulls out Leeroy and begins taking hit after hit after hit. He extinguishes the ambers and puts Leeroy back in his pocket.

Cadryn: You're right. Let's kill him..

Satan Cady: Oh, shit. I didn't actually mean that..

Cadryn: Dude, what the fuck. You're the most ignorant demon I've ever met.

Satan Cady: You've met more than one demon?

Cadryn: Oh, piss off. We're killing him. Our friendship is over. He can piss all over someone else, we’re done. Oh and while I'm on the subject, Peter Gilmour. You're a piece of shit dude. Literally, you're the load your mom should have swallowed. Like, seriously? I stood back and I watched Graves carry your sorry ass through the last round. You didn't do shit to help him. You stood back and forced him to carry you, which is bullshit. Although, it's probably best that you did, because had you actually contributed, you guys would have lost. It's sad that you're so untalented that actually contributing would have cost you the match. You think so highly of yourself, and how you're the best around. News Flash: A real champion wouldn't have lost the Universal Title to Chris Chaos. So until you actually have a career to boast about, I'd suggest you keep my name out of your overused cockholster. And for the record you look like a homeless troll on bath salts. Does your facial hair always grow in all white trash like, or do you purposely shave it that way to match your trailer park intellect? You should consider yourself lucky that I'm even allowing you to grace the same ring as me. I'm more afraid of Justin Sayn than you, and we all remember what I did to him. I've faced real talent, unlike yourself. I took Jim Caedus to his limits, and although I lost those matches, I take pride in the fact that even in a loss, I out perform you in every aspect of the word. I'm more frustrated at the fact that you were able to be carried this far. When in reality I had to fight tooth and nail to get where I am right now. I took on Bourbon and Caedus alone in the first round, because my partner was a sack of shit like you. He didn't bother to lift a finger to help me. But you know what, I left it all in the ring that night. And in case you're unsure, I lost. But I did so with honor, knowing that I worked my ass off. And because of my hard work and dedication, I was selected to take Reno's spot last round, and team with none other than Scully. And Scully and I decimated our competition. Much like Buronan and myself are going to decimate you this round.

Satan Cady: Shit, son! We might still have a chance!

I agree with the demon, we may still have a chance. Keep up the good work kid.

Cadryn: And you know what, fuck you too Jeff. All you ever do is doubt me.

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Cadryn: No, she fucking kissed me, on the dick, and I liked it. Ya’ll wanna see crazy? It's about to get a lot fucking crazier around here. At least Graves had the common decency to compliment me and build me up. All you guys ever do is tear me down. So fuck you, and fuck Satan Cady.

Satan Cady: Wait, what did I do, buddy?

The scene fades as our hero pulls the car into an unknown driveway, one can assume, his meth dealer.

[Image: kevin_bacon_number_search_afbabee2_featured.jpg]

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Meth. Definitely more than once..
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