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JimCaedus · (02-28-2017)

"Muddy fuckin' Waters...the pride of Pikeville, KY. What's with the silence tough guy? I thought you wanted to dance with me, _BITCH_? Wasn't it you who egged me on recently into a tag match with you? Spine half in, half out, didn't have the balls to drop my name but sure as shit didn't try to veil the insult much by calling out for any 'Bourbon dick riders' knowing I'm an outspoken supporter of our XWF Hart Champion. Do you recall that, reverend? A man of God using the words 'dick riders' by the way...nice job staying in line with the religious gimmick dumbass. I think maybe you never got off the wagon; to hell with the heavenly hype you claim of cleaning up, only a stumblin' soused sow fucker like you would fry his own hillbilly bacon like that. And to think...for a second there I thought I might be putting my XWF Federweight Title on the line against a real challenger. You can't even keep your own goddamn character straight, why the fuck should I be worried about you?

I think maybe YOU'RE worried right now; seeing your name across from mine in singles competition and not a tag match. Knowing I'm holding two titles at once for a reason and realizing I'm gonna lay into you without mercy...IF you've been paying attention to me that is. Not like I'm easy to overlook. I've been balls to the wall in this promotion since I got here, especially as of late, while you've been making as much of an impact in the XWF as a fly makes on a speeding car's windshield. Better believe Jim Caedus'll splatter your slow ass the same way.

'The Will of God'? 'The Holy Ghost'? Fuck _me_ with the inspired slew of bible-thumpin' themed names you've got for maneuvers. Must've taken you all of five minutes to put that clever shit together, genius. Then again, what's to be expected of the man formerly known as straight Muddy Waters with a finisher he called the Mud Stomp? Jesus Christ it's like I'm facing a caricature created by a kid whose parents haven't told him his ideas suck yet. Like the opening fuck-up auditions of ye olde American Idol, let me sum it up as that limey Simon Cowell would: you're an idiot and you're terrible at what you do, Reverend.

I highly recommend you maintain radio silence; if this is what you get outta me just by my perusing your promotional info on the official XWF site just imagine what I'll say if and when you fire a return shot. Actually, I take that back. Come at me peckerwood, I want that 20k xbux reward for winning in the main event. We're supposed to be headlining Anarchy but Tidbits and Suicide Jack-off are already pulling into the lead. Hurry the fuck up and get your feet wet Muddy, I gots a hankerin' for more money and eatin' you alive...Kentucky Fried

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