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Bobby Blackcoat · (02-19-2017)

Bobby Blackcoat appears in front of a wooden podium wearing a black business coat, looking excited.

Bobby Blackcoat: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pride that I announce some wonderful news to every Saturday Night Savage fan. Moments ago, myself and my team at Blackcoat Enterprises reached an exclusive deal with Mr. Kato and Savage.

I am thrilled to announce that as I close the door on my career with Warfare, I begin anew tonight as I have just signed a long-term, exclusive contract with Saturday Night Savage. And from here on, the only place you will be able to see Bobby Blackcoat is indeed the flagship show of the XWF!

I would like to thank everyone involved in the deal, everyone on my team at Blackcoat Enterprises, and everyone who worked with me from Savage, and especially Mr. Kato himself for creating an environment in which I could express myself.

Within moments of being signed, my first match was announced. A great company, a great change of pace from my previous working relationships. Mr. Kato has handed down the gracious honor to me of allowing me to retrieve his pack of cigarettes from above the ring, in a contest with some opponents that I am very happy to have.

This is a very interesting stipulation, as Mr. Kato will undoubtedly be watching on in anticipation as he begins to crave that sour, brown smoke. As the chemicals in his brain urge him to consume nicotine, to quell their insatiable thirst for the combusting tobacco, his eyes will be locked on, his rump will be on the edge of his seat, as he desperately hopes that the match will end instantly so he can smoke. So that the honorable, and wonderful man Mr. Kato can tuck that filtered tip between his lips, and inhale the burning smoke of the cigarette which I will personally be lighting with THIS one-of-a-kind deluxe lighter.

Bobby reveals he is holding a special lighter with the SAVAGE logo engraved on the side.

Bobby Blackcoat: Sir, I'm going to engage the flame of this lighter and allow you to use that flame to inhale the burning smoke of that cigarette. And as you exhale, we are going to exhale together. Your cigarettes, my joint... And that exhalation is going to symbolize the realization we'll be having. The realization of ... 'This is it. This is the new era. The illustrious partnership of Blackcoat and Kato are going to change everything.' And we'll both be right. Cheers. Kanpai. Ganbei.

Now, speaking of a toast, Michael McBride is a classy gentleman. When I was a fan of XWF, he was someone I looked up to very much. The man is clearly intelligent. He appears to lead many productive lives. He has held many of the world's most prestigious championships, including the one around my friend Oswald's waist now-the X-treme title. Michael McBride is a great man. A family man. But I feel he is stretched so thin. His life is so adventurous. The kidnapping, his wife and Gilly, everything going on with this crazy Lethal Lottery, and let's be honest-he has shown a tendency to be mentally.. .unstable. Then again, given the pickle he's found himself in it would be understandable by anyone's measure to be mentally unfit.

In a sense, I feel for Mr. McBride and the fan in me wishes we could have a real SAVAGE encounter in that four way fiasco. Truth be told, when the bell rings and I see this man that I'm a fan of standing across the ring from me, yes it's going to be intimidating. Seeing THE Michael McBride there, in my very first match in the XWF, my debut on Savage... It's going to be overwhelming. But this is what we train for. My muscle memory, my instincts, even on auto-pilot I can find the opponents' legs and injure them. So let me explain my strategy.

THE STRAT

I am confident that this plan will be so sure-fire that no preparation or training of my opponents will be able to stop me. You see, the pack of cigarettes will be dangling above. In this universe, a pinfall will not exist to me. Submission will not exist. I will have laser-like focus on retrieving that packet of Mr. Kato's cigarettes. Look-I am a submission guy. It's what I do. I can snatch a submission like pulling a fish out of a moving river. But I can also beat legs into jelly too if I have to. So what does this mean? You should already have figured it out.

While submissions will be useless, I plan to grip my lock onto the femur of Mr. Tidbits and crumble the internal working mechanisms of his knee like a fresh cracker. This will leave him completely disabled from retrieving those smokes. And Michael McBride? Well... I'll be honest, I have a lot of respect for him. I would never want to leave such permanent damage on the knees of such a hero to me, but what must be done will be done with reluctance. I'm sorry.

You see, Father Slathe, I have a history as well. As you spent your time sexually and emotionally abusing the so-called "Mr. Tidbits", I was mastering my OWN strategies. My own techniques. I was studying the human leg and researching new injuries. You see, there is a lengthy history in sports of the mentor-to-student relationship. And yes, many students have been groomed well. I have no doubt that you've sexually manipulated Mr. Tidbits into being a very dangerous and harmful person. And I refuse to shed blood anywhere near such a vile, diseased, creature so you can forget about that ever happening. But look, I am my own coach. The best advice I'll hear that night will come from within.

Tiddles won't have you there, Father Slathe, in his consciousness when I'm wrapping up his leg with submissions. He won't have your prompting to know when to tap. To know when to hold 'em, and when to fold 'em. That's dangerous. In that ring, my decisions will be my own. My strats will be altered by me, personally, on the fly. And yes, I rely on my team at Blackcoat Enterprises for very much support in many fields, even my training and my preparation for matches like this. But make no mistake, I am the boss. And I know what to do in that ring more than anyone else on my team. That's why I am the one going into that ring.

Father Slathe, saturday night when I ceremoniously achieve success in my debut match, plucking those cigarettes into my possession, if you want to try to stop me yourself, or you want to relive your glory days and see what it feels like to be in the ring with a real man who can be his own strategist, then I welcome your attempts. I beg of you, Father Slathe, allow me to return the punishment you've inflicted upon poor Mr. Tidbits. Give me that chance, and I will guarantee another kickback from the cane company, because you'll require plenty from then on.

Your knees were not meant to be kicked, Father Slathe. Let alone hyper-extended. Your cartilage, your tendons, your ACL, these things at your age can not withstand a high volume of punishment. But if you're feeling gully, then by all means.

Because anyone who knows me, who knows my background, knows I stand firmly against the likes of you and human trafficking. I am way about human rights and dignity. And I undoubtedly stand against whatever this "high voltage discipline" could possibly be. This shocking disregard of human rights won't be tolerated in my presence. And seeing this kind of depravity really bothers me. And given any chance I could possibly get, I would love to remove you from this company and publicly ruin your life forever for what you've done. For what you've created. You should be absolutely ashamed for dehumanizing this boy.

Because of you, now I have to humiliate him further, and utterly wreck his knee in the process. He didn't deserve what's coming his way on Savage. He wasn't meant for this. You bred a dog that is going to be knowingly brutalized in the fight. That's cruel. You, sir, Father Slathe, are a vile man and karma will come to collect. Mark my words.

I look at my opponents in this monumental cigarette challenge and I see 3 men. I see 3. I see some 3's. I've got a secret for all 3 of you... If you're 3 3 3, I'm 6 . 6. 6.

So you'd better start training to bring twice what you can now if you want to make it out of this thing in tact. Fair warning.

Thank you all for listening. I hope to speak with you again shortly on this exciting, yet troubling matter. This will be a match for the ages.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode MAJOR UPDATE! Blackcoat Signs with Savage!
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