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Cadryn Tiberius · **01-20-2017, 01:58 AM**

Dedication. Dedication is a word we could use to describe Cadryn's reasoning for standing in line for this long. Albeit, it's only been a few hours, but it seems like an eternity. Sitting, waiting, and wishing for an autograph from an actor that he has little to no interest in. However, Michael Graves, his shining star has more than enough interest in this actor to keep Cadryn's attention peaked. As it stands, the line seems to be moving at a decent pace. Let's catch back up with our Fruity Pebble fanatic, shall we?

I swear to Cap'n Crunch himself, if this line doesn't move faster, I'm going to give myself a lobotomy. It feels like I've been standing here for days, even if it's only been a few hours. All of this to secure a signature on an over priced photograph of a second rate, B movie actor. I mean, truth be told, I've never even seen the Evil Dead series. Oh well, my Gravy's happiness means more to me than anything else I have currently going on in my life, so overall I'll consider this worth it. Granted, I'm not exactly sure how he'll react to receiving a picture of his favorite actor. I mean, most people would probably feel overjoyed. However, as we all know he thinks I'm creepy, rapey, and that I make him uncomfortable. This is the chance you take, though. Because, when you think about it, my unhealthy obsession with him is kind of unsettling. But if there's one thing I love more than cereal, Gravy.

The line suddenly starts to move at a very accelerated rate. It seems as though Cadryn may actually make it through the doors this round. The closer he gets to Bruce Campbell, the quicker he can get the autograph and make the journey back home to prepare for his match with Jim Caedus this Saturday.

Well I'll be damned. It looks like I'm finally going to get to enter the building. Seeing as I've never been to one of these conventions, I really have no idea what to expect. I can assume it's going to be filled with overweight, Cheeto destroying, neckbeards that haven't had vagina since vagina had them. I shouldn't be so quick to judge, however. I do still live with my mom, and play an unhealthy amount of video games when I'm not in the ring. But I despise cheetos. There's nothing worse than getting the cheese dust all over your fingers and then forgetting to wash your hands before beating your dick like it owes you money. Because then you end up with an interestingly orange penis, or what I've come to know as “Cheesedick”. It's not necessarily unpleasant, but it isn't exactly something to write home about, either.

Cadryn makes it to the front of the line where security is waiting to scan you from head to toe with the portable metal detector. The security officer approaches Cadryn and begins the full body scan. Thankfully, Cadryn remembered to take out his cock stud, and passed the test with flying colors. Cadryn takes a few steps into the building before stopping to assess the situation and look for Bruce Campbell's booth.

Now, if I were an over rated B actor with a dedicated fan base of basement dwellers, where would I be?

Cadryn looks around and spots a map detailing the location of all the celebrity booths here at comic-con. Cadryn makes his way towards the location of Bruce Campbell's booth. Cadryn arrives at the booth moments later only to be saddened by the existing note hanging from the cubical wall.

“Out to lunch.”

Aw, man. Always a day late and a dollar short. It doesn't even say when he's set to return. Well, damn. It looks as though I'm going to have to wait this one out. I refuse to have come this far, only to return with nothing to show for it.

Cadryn walks around the convention for a few minutes before becoming immediately bored. Cadryn locates a public bench within the coliseum and sits down. Cadryn pulls out his phone and decides to look through the XWF News section to catch up on anything that he may have missed while being here at comic-con. Low and behold, it seems that Jim Caedus was having a bit of a celebration after his match on Wednesday.

You know, I wasn't going to jump to conclusions about this gentleman, because I have not had the chance to get to know him. However, it's quite apparent that he either doesn't respect the title he has been presented with, or doesn't respect himself enough to be considered a reputable champion. First and foremost, you're actually getting upset that fans are interested in your autograph and meeting you. Why would this upset you? I've met one fan in the past 12 hours, and he couldn't be bothered to accept a FREE autograph. Do you have any idea how that feels? Meanwhile, you're sitting on a cruise ship ignoring your fans who paid a fair amount to see you perform. Ludicrous. On top of that, you were informed, I assume, shortly after you won that you would be required to defend your title in just a few short days. Yet you show no interest in resting and recuperating. You'd rather find a hole in the wall to drink away your talent. Alcohol is the crutch of the insecure, and it's a shame that you need said crutch. On top of everything, you take it upon yourself to invite the XWF roster to join you for drinks, whilst taking advantage of a couple of fans who wanted to treat you, and only you. Despicable. You sir are everything that is wrong with this company. And let me tell you, it is going to be an honor taking that title away from you. You're completely undeserving of such a prestige, such an honor. Do you even have the slightest idea who you're facing this Saturday. You're facing the Cereal Killer. I'd go back and do my research, friend. I bested 3 individuals alone at Wildcard, you shall be the least concerning of my challenges thus far. You speak so highly of your skill, a man of such character. Yet you carry yourself as just another wanna be thug, destined to waste your God given talent on alcohol and the inability to commit yourself to the business. But enough about that. I will let my actions speak for me.

Suddenly a familiar man approaches the bench where Cadryn is sitting. Cadryn looks up from his phone only to realize this is the man he's been waiting for!

It's you! You're Bruce Campbell.

The man gives Cadryn a concerned look.

I believe you have me confused with someone else. I'm actually Wayne Campbell. You know, Wayne's World, Wayne's World, party time, excellent!

Cadryn looks crushed. A look of defeat fills his face, it's like someone stole his favorite box of cereal and ate it right in front of him. Determined to continue with his original plan, Cadryn smiles from ear to ear. Cadryn grabs Wayne by his Honeycombs (His testicles) and begins dragging him towards the door. If he can't find Bruce Campbell he'll settle for Wayne Campbell in a pinch. Maybe he can just dress him up to look like Bruce? Quickly Wayne begins yelling for security. Security rushes Cadryn, phasers set to stun. Cadryn quickly let's go of Wayne and reaches for his back pocket. Holy shit, you're not going to believe this, but Cadryn just pulled two sets of “Dildo-chucks” out of what appeared to be his ass. They look like typical nun chucks, however the handles are made of 12 inch, thick, black dildos. Cadryn wields these outrageous weapons like he's a stunt double in a Jet Li movie. One by one security rushes in and one by one Cadryn lays them down with a swift swing of his dildo-chucks Eventually Cadryn fights his way to the main entrance and out the doors. While he has the advantage, Cadryn makes a break for his car. It seems as though Michael Graves won't be getting his autograph after all.

Suddenly..

BOOM...

Cadryn paying no attention to whats in front of him runs into what must have been a brick wall. Before Cadryn can completely collect himself he hears a voice say unto him -

Hey pal, are you okay? That was one hell of a fall you just had.

Cadryn gathers himself and looks up. HOLY SHIT. IT'S THE REAL BRUCE CAMPBELL. What luck is this? Cadryn is standing right in front of the man he came to meet. Cadryn ecstatically hugs Bruce and before Bruce can react Cadryn does the unthinkable! He literally smacked Bruce Campbell in the back of the head so hard with the dildo-chucks, it knocked him unconscious. Cadryn quickly catches Bruce's falling body and slowly lowers him to the ground.

Fret not, my dear. When you awake, you will be in the presence of your biggest fan!

Cadryn quickly drags Bruce to his car, opens the trunk, and dumps him in. Cadryn gets in the car, throws it in gear and speeds off into the sunset..

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