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~~Ronnie Cage~~ · (12-16-2016)

The Moon Struck One

It's one in the morning, about thirteen miles southeast of downtown Richmond, Virginia. The ground is covered in a thick layer of snow. We walk through the gate of Glendale National Cemetery, a Civil War cemetery and the site of the Battle of Glendale also called the battle of Frayser's Farm. It's not just cold, but it's windy. We can feel the chill rising from our toes all the way up to the hairs on our heads. There is so much amazing history in the state of Virginia, especially in the city of Richmond. Suddenly we're distracted by a set of bright lights off in the distance, but the lights are getting closer and brighter. A car pulls up and parks under a tree on a hill overlooking part of the cemetery. It's a black 1966 Dodge Coronet Deluxe Hemi belonging to XWF superstar, Ronnie Cage. As the engine, and the lights shut off, Ronnie exits the car. He's wearing his trademark Stetson Corral Cowboy Hat, a pair of jeans, and a black peacoat with the collar popped up to keep his neck warm. The confederate Converse All-Stars on his feet are surely soaked from the snow, but it doesn't seem to bother Ronnie. He leans against the still-warm hood of his car and removes a flask from his inside breast pocket. He unscrews the cap and takes a swig, then he pours a little bit into the snow in front of him.

"Every time Ah come tew Virginia, Ah visit a different civil war cemetery. There are eighteen yew know, more than any other state by a large amount. Ah've been tew twelve of 'em. Ah always come in the middle of the night. It's quiet. Ah drink whiskey, and Ah pour some out fore the dead. Ah respect those who died in battle. It takes courage, or sheer stupidity. Come Saturday night though, Ah will personally dig six more graves here, and fill them. Then, and only then, will Snow, Kid Kool, Broken Hart, Drezdin, Liyanna Properchev and Nami the fucking pirate have earned mah respect.

When it comes tew the team of Kid Kool, Snow and Broken Hart, Hart seems tew be the only one with any brains, and believe me that's not sayin' much. Snow and Kid Kool - they have mouths, Ah'll give them that. But no brains tew back them up. Not surprising. With the amount of fucking coke, Ah saw Kid Kool dew that night at the bar, it's a real wonder he's even able tew speak. And Snow. She's the kind of white fucking trash that gives us southerners a bad name, and if she wasn't a fucking dyke, Ah'd make some joke about Kid Kool doing her because, well white stuff. If Ah have tew explain it tew yew, Ah'd just be wasting mah time. And don't think we've forgotten that little bar night. Yore fucking lucky David handled things his way. Ah would not have been as lenient. Snow, yew got one thing right that night. We're not gentlemen. We're what the ruthless monsters who hide under yore bed and in yore closet fear. Ah am Satan's Superior which means he answers tew me. And Kid Kool, yew are going tew get that superkick back ten times during our match. Five times from David, and five times from me. That's a god damn promise. Then there's Broken Hart. Man with a past. Cryptic as fuck. Well, let me tell yew this now. No one gives a shit who yew are, or why yore here. Ah hear it in the hallways every time one of yore videos airs, and every time yew open yore fucking mouth. Yore a joke. Yew tryin' tew find a way tew make Kid Kool and Snow work with yew as a team. It ain't gonna happen. Not overnight anyway."

The wind blows, the trees shake, the snow falls, and Ronnie's finished his flask. He tosses it back into his car and goes to open his trunk. He pulls a case of Bud Light and begins drinking the bottles one by one. Swing, pour, swig, pour.

"Ah've known David since Ah was just a kid. He's the brother Ah never had, and mah best friend. Ah know his strengths, and Ah know his weaknesses, and he knows mine. It's why in our first three matches here at XWF, we haven't lost a single one. Brandon, on the other hand, Ah've known him a long time tew, about ten years now, but we're not friends. However, Ah have faced him more times than Ah can count, and Ah have a tremendous amount of respect fore him. Ah also know his strengths and his weaknesses from years of making each other bleed. There's a bond that comes from that tew. A bond that cannot be broken. He may have technically lost his first match here. But he wasn't pinned, or forced tew submit or counted out. In fact, the match should have technically been a tie. Because he didn't lose at all, he just wasn't the one who got called the winner.

We, now known tew the XWF as Havoc, will lead an era of decimation, of fear. No one is safe. We started with Brandon's opponents at Wild Card Weekend. Next will be our six opponents at Savage, yew know, if they don't rip each other apart first. Drezdin and Liyanna are exes, and Liyanna seemed tew make it one of her goals tew destroy Drezdin. So we'll happily let that happen. The third person on that team is fucking Nami. Well, not much more needs tew be said about that dumb slut. We kicked her fucking ass when she teamed with fucking Barney Green. My guess is that Nami's going tew stay home this time. If she's smart, which Ah'm not convinced she is, that's what she'll dew. She can't help her team, but it may make things more fun fore us if she shows up. Ah'm still looking tew pop her fucking gigantic meteor sized tits.

Yew know, Ah was thinking earlier about history, and it fucking amazes me, that none of our fucking opponents, except maybe Broken Hart, and yet from the way he comports himself Ah fucking doubt it, have seen the 1980s. None of them. Fucking babies, the whole lot of them. David and Ah started tag teaming before most of yew hit the second grade. Sure, yew can insert a witty fucking "grandpa" comment, or call me old. But the fact is, Ah'm still in the best shape of mah life, coupled with the experience y'all lack, this is going tew be a shit show. So, let me give y'all a piece of advice. Christmas is coming up, and it's a time tew get tewgether with loved ones and family. None of y'all are going tew make it that long. None of yew are going tew see Christmas of 2016. So make sure before our match on Saturday that yew call yore loved ones and family, and yew tell them how much they mean tew yew, and then yew tell them yew will never see them again. After Saturday night, the only place they'll be able tew see yew is here, in this cemetery buried six feet under the snow, where Ah'll come and pour some beer and liquor fore yew."

Ronnie leaves the empty beer bottles on the ground, as well as the mostly finished case. He goes back to his trunk and pulls out a shovel. He throws it into the ground and smiles a sinister smile.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Moon Struck One
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