"Travis 'the fake' McCoy, don't ever call yourself 'the real McCoy' again. How dare you name yourself after MAN crisps?! You think you're a man cuz you got a scruffy beard and look like a hobo? That doesn't make you a man, it makes you a fuckin' tramp. All that shit that grows inside that thing, not to mention the left over cabbage, some biscuit crumbs and some crispy bacon... All hidden inside. Sick. At least trim the damn thing, have some fuckin' consideration for your appearance.
As you can see and kindly pointed out, I don't have a beard and I actually like to wash so that makes me a Baby faced dick? That's what you said right? I don't know how my dick can be baby faced, it's surrounded by bush like the one on your face. I just own a thing called a shaver, you cheap bastard. So I shave my handsome face because I have pride in how I look? I apologise for not wanting to look like a dirty, smelly, street begging, cunt. Speaking about how I look..."
Scrubber Said:"You're a black dude blaming his prison sentence on the white devil, ignoring the pound of crack he was carrying in an unlicensed car with the headlights blown."
"Hold up I'm black? Since when? Are you colour blind? All this time I thought I was white. Damn, you just took that away from me, I'm a black man and I didn't even know it. So all those times your grandaddy got his ass whooped in the boxing ring, who did he blame?! He couldn't blame anyone, he just sucked. However, The Union have every right to blame the system. The thing is we're doing something about it.
At the beginning of Travis McCoy's, boring promo, he told us a bedtime story that wasn't interesting at all. Now I have a story for you all. It's a history lesson if you will. Please get comfy, get your popcorn ready, your glass of milk, sit back and enjoy. Luca and Fernie keep your dicks in your pants, this is not a story called 'Fifty Shades of Gay.' No, this story is called..
Scully and McCoy
Once upon a time, quite a few years ago, a boy named Roy McCoy grew up in Dublin, Ireland. Since the age of fourteen, he hung around with two brothers, Patrick and Kiaran Scully. Paddy, also fourteen and Kiaran, fifteen, were part of a big family, there were quite a few of them to say the least and they had a reputation. The Scully's had time for honest, good hearted people but if you treated them like mugs, well let's just say you would only do it once. So the three of them played a bit of gaelic football for their school and also did a bit of boxing. Roy was pretty crap at sport but because of how loyal Kiaran and Paddy were to him, he seemed to get into the gaelic football team, even if he was on the bench. In boxing, Roy would always win though because Kiaran and Paddy would threaten his opponents before the fight, whoever Roy fought would let Roy win.
Anyway, as they got older not only had Kiaran and Paddy already been shagging the Irish girls, Roy however was too shy when it came down to business so The Scully brothers, being such good friends to Roy, got him laid with a prostitute. They even paid. They would all go drinking together, the only problem was Roy didn't like the taste of Guinness and after a single pint of lager, he would be pissed. The Scully brothers would stick up for Roy when he got into scraps and always had his back.
Now Roy was nineteen, Paddy, the same age and Kiaran, twenty years of age, Roy began acting shifty. He made more trouble than ever and tried to cause issues between the two brothers. One day Roy made a stupid mistake. He stole money from Kiarans wallet. After a confrontation, the Scully's forgave Roy. But soon after Roy then attempted to rape Paddy and Kiarans younger sister, who was only fifteen at the time. Roy was beaten to a pulp by the brothers and put in a coma. The brothers were sent to jail and the dirty peodo, Roy luckily Survived. Roy being he coward he was got in a boat and travelled to America.
So Roy was now in America where no one knew what a scumbag he was. Roy drugged a woman, fucked her and got her pregnant. She then had a son called Travis Theodore McCoy. Roy committed suicide cuz he couldn't handle being a daddy. Travis grew up and was a shit boxer, his record was 2 wins, 138 losses and no I'm not shitting you as pathetic as it sounds. The two wins were decisions…he paid the judges. He then became a wrestler, his record was 3 wins, 178 losses. His three wins were all intentional disqualifications by his opponents, sometime during this amazing streak Teddy met a women and after being rejected loads of times, he well... Raped her.
Into the world came Charles McCoy, Teddy saw an opportunity to become a success, this time as a manager. I know this story is turning into a comedy. Charles took to wrestling, oh dear, oh dear. He loved to wrestle, but wrestling didn’t love him because just like his dad and his peodo grandfather, he sucked real bad. Charles started losing and Teddy took off, his sperm produced a failure as a son.
Charles wrestled in St Louis as a John Black, you know someone who couldn't win for shit and was happy to lose as long as he got a dollar at the end of it. Charles had no pride and no fuckin' balls. Charles then
met his wife at the Chase motel, before a match she regretfully lost her virginity to him after being absolutely drunk and Travis was conceived. That's when the McCoy's really did go down hill. Charles took a piledriver and broke his neck losing all use of his legs. Too bad that's all he lost and the loser stayed in this world.
Charles wanted his son, Travis to be a wrestler. But Travis wasn’t tough, he was fuckin' pussy and still is a whipping boy. Since Charles was a cripple and couldn't train Travis himself, Charles hired some gay men to toughen up his 13 year olds bum hole. Travis was bummed senseless by these huge men. They also beat him real bad too, just like he is going to be beaten on Warfare by The Union but it did toughen Travis up and he had no choice but to fight back. Slowly Travis got a tiny bit better at bum sex, 'oh and wrestling, he won a few of matches against some nobodies. Charles was jealous that his son could actually win without paying judges and cheating, so to belittle Travis, his a main insult being 'Butt Freak', which Travis has taken as a moniker for himself.
Travis mother sat by and watched Travis get beat up and tossed off, Charles was as rough as he could be from a wheel chair. Okay this story is getting a bit gay now. Apologies. Regardless Travis was closer to his mother until she died. Sob story, booo hooo.
Travis spent most of his career in one series of federations, still being absolutely shite. XWF felt pitty on him and let him join to fill the roster up. After a couple of wins, he thought he was the XWF Universal Champion. He thought he was the man around the XWF and winning was so unusual to a family full of losers. Travis was then put in a XWF tag-team title match, it is then he came at crossroads when his past caught up with him and he met an old family rival, Scully. Now Travis who is all big headed, thinks he's better than he is, he even has a 2 inch erection since his last victory.
This is where the fun happens, Travis finds out just like his relatives before him, do not fuck with the Scully's. Travis gets owned out of the ring in a verbal altercation with Scully and then in the ring he gets his ass whooped, not like that, don't get excited Travis. Travis gets beaten just like his great grandfather, Roy did. Scully beats Travis so bad, that he runs home to cry to his crippled dad.
The moral of the story...This could have all been avoided. Roy McCoy should have been aborted then we wouldn't have more wasters to the population like Travis Theodore McCoy, Charles McCoy and Travis McCoy.
The End, Scully Has Spoken!"
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