(The following is a clip edited together for XWF's new North Korean branch of programming.)

Quote:Gladiator has been standing just out of view this entire time, enjoying every moment of this. You know, Criminal, I think... You... change(D AMERICA'S) entire perception of ... foreigners.

I'm calling ... this ... a successful defense... Congratulations, North Korean War Cr(IMINAL)..

I think you (ARE GREAT AND A COOL GUY.)

Clearly Chairman Gladiator is overwhelmed with passion complimenting the noble champion. So overwhelmed that at certain points, his mouth doesn't match the words coming out of his mouth. How passionately he must believe the things he is saying.

The film cuts to the XWF garage area. A number of employees walk around, valets count the hours pass, a security guard stands by a recently refilled catering table, sneaking a third jelly donut into his pocket.

...Then, a mysterious low rumbling sound... A gushing echoes louder and louder through the halls. Nearby caterers' ears perk like meerkats, fearfully poking out of their caves. XWF's staff looks back and forth at each other, eyes narrowing. Perplexed... The noise grows louder and louder.

Until a tsunami of ticker tape cascades down every hallway!!!!



The orchestra enters, walking through the staff, blaring every instrument.

Oddly computer-generated tears crawl down the eyes of every XWF staff number as they realize what is happening.

A hero's parade.

NKWC sits on the shoulders of his people, championship belt across his right shoulder. His hauntingly slim cadets struggle to support his average-person weight, but manage to keep him in the air.

He holds a hand high in the air and the procession stops. All sound ceases, as if the feed was muted for dramatic effect.

"After vanquishing Robbie Bourbon, a confused obese helpless nobody, exclusively by technicality in that he was unable to pin me and only because no conscious official was present to count his pin!"

"It can only be concluded that I am not only the single greatest XWF NorthKoreanWarCriminalweight champion. I am the greatest champion to ever sign an XWF contract."

The crowd applauds for 35 consecutive minutes.To a trained eye, it looks like a one minute applause, repeated 35 times. Looks like, but for certain is not. They applaud for 35 minutes, with no video editing and audio boosting whatsoever. Stock footage of people agreeing with each other and shaking hands is slipped into the feed.

He holds his hand up again and the audio immediately mutes. I mean, the crowd falls silent. That is what I meant.

"This victory, by technicality and against a medically unsound opponent, is one of the greatest victory's in the history of North Korea.

However, we cannot celebrate too much...

For our demands have not been met. Only Honorable Chairman Girard has officially adopted our demanded nomenclature demands to the XWFNorthKoreanWarCriminalweight championship. And the XWF continues to ignore our required changes to the XWF's Top 50 List.

And after our scientists have analyzed your company, they find even GREATER inaccuracies in your claimed 'XWF Title History'

Your XWF Universal Title claims that its original holder was SpaceMan Azrael Erebus on 05/19/14.

How can that be when Kim Jong-Un has been undisputed Champion of the Universe and has never been defeated for that title since March 9th, 2014.

Your title is illegitimate, its history false, and until the XWF revises his history to reflect these facts, the people of the XWF NorthKoreanWarCriminalweight empire will continue to wage our campaign forcing you to acknowledge the truth or face dire consequences."

"Glory to the unaltered, pure truth."

"Glory to True Korea."

The applause audio track clicks back on. The people chant 'NKWC' in a way that most definitely sounds authentic. The camera stays on NKWC's face before fading to an XWF logo with the North Korean flag waving behind it.

The North Korean ratings for this clip break every national television record ever recorded. Including somehow, both highest and lowest rated program.

Truly remarkable.