Kristen Silver
The Most Important Person In The World
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03-01-2016, 01:13 PM
In Times Of Boredom There's Only ONE Solution...
...LET'S GET DRUNK!
"Do you even know who I am?"
We fade in to the all too familiar sound of Kristen Silver doing what she does best, moaning. Kristen can be seen stood alongside her assistant, Erin, as the two look on towards an air hostess as they begin to board a plane.
Hostess: Madam, I've already told you th---
Kristen: I'm Kristen Silver. Yes, THE Kristen Silver. You expect me to sit in the normal class area with commoners?
As Kristen goes off into a rant numerous onlookers can be seen seated in the background, looking on and hearing every word that Kristen shouts on at the air hostess. As per usual, Erin tugs at the arm of Kristen as she tries to calm her down and draw her away from the situation, an awkward and embarrassed look planted across the face of Kristen's assistant.
Erin: There must have been a simple misunderstanding Kristen. The flight will be over before you know it.
Erin begins to pull Kristen away from the scene and down the aisle of the plane. Kristen looks on at the air hostess with a look of rage planted on her face. Meanwhile, Erin walks along the aisle, Kristen in toe as Erin looks on at a number of the seated passengers looking on almost in disgust. It's almost a walk of shame moment for Erin who finally feels a relief as she reaches her seat, scooting alongside to the window seat and slumping herself down into the seat as she tries to hide her face from the annoyed onlookers who heard every insulting word Kristen had just previously said. An angry Kristen sits firmly down in the seat next to her before pulling her phone from her bag.
Kristen: I've never been so insulted in my life. Me, a VIP, a star...and I'm made to sit here alongside the normal people of our world. Do they even know who I am Erin?
Erin: You're Kristen Silver.
Erin, still slumped back in her chair, exhausted and tired of the situation, let's out a sarcastic line, knowing exactly what is going to come out of the mouth of Kristen next.
Kristen: I'm Kristen Silver. Do you hear me Erin?
Erin: I think the entire plane hears you. That's why they're all staring at you.
Kristen: I'm just glad to be leaving this cold, foul mouthed country they call Great Britain. It's just a shame I've got to go home with all of these low class people. You know that woman had the nerve to ask who I was? Do they not know who I...
Before Kristen can get the rest of her words out, Erin has cut her off in a fit of rage.
Erin: YOU'RE KRISTEN SILVER!!!
Kristen looks on with a shocked look on her face as Erin now finally sits up.
Erin: Listen, let's just relax and concentrate on getting home. How about a drink? That'll cheer you up.
Kristen: FINE!
Erin raises her hand into the air to grab the attention of a nearby air hostess. The lady slowly makes her way over before leaning over with a smile.
Erin: Hi, could we possibly get two drinks?
Hostess: Alcoholic or non-alcoholic?
Erin: The more alcohol right now, the better.
Kristen: I'd like a glass of your finest champagne. Actually, bring us the whole bottle.
Hostess: I'm afraid champagne is only reserved for VIP and first class guests.
Kristen quickly sits up, ready to go off again but is quickly stopped by Erin.
Erin: Anything will do, surprise us.
Erin looks on with a warm smile as the hostess shakes her head towards Kristen before walking off.
Erin: Just relax now. Just think come tomorrow we'll be in sunny California. You've got your match and straight afterwards we can go and relax in the beach house right next to the beautiful sea. Heaven, right?
Finally a look of glee and happiness draws across the face of Kristen as her eyes light up at the thought of being sat firmly on a warm beach back in her our country. Finally the air hostess returns, two drinks in hand.
Hostess: Your drinks...
The hostess first hands Erin her drink before then handing Kristen's down to her. Kristen leans back in her seat, cold drink in hand and begins to raise the glass to her lips with a distant happy look on her face.
Kristen: California here we come!
Kristen gulps away at the drink before sitting up in her seat and spitting it everywhere.
Kristen: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
The air hostess looks on with a smile on her face before replying.
Hostess: It's vodka and carrot juice...
Kristen can be seen sitting up in her seat as the air hostess looks on with a sarcastic looking smile on her face after all the attitude Kristen has given since boarding the plane. Erin can't even look on as she stays slumped back in her chair while face palming as the scene slowly fades.
Maybe This Wasn't Such A Good Idea
I Might Be Just A Tiny Bit Drunk
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"Anddddddddddddd post"
We fade back in to see a giggling Kristen sat more comfortably in her seat with her legs crossed as she taps away at her phone with Erin looking on.
Kristen: See, I told you I washn't too drunk to tweet...
Erin: Yeah, you WASHN'T too drunk, right?
Kristen leans over onto Erin before putting her arm around her with a smile on her face, clearly drunk as shit.
Kristen: Let's party!
Erin: Maybe you haven't noticed Kristen but we're currently thousands of feet in the air on a plane...
Kristen: Oh my god!!! What if we crash!!!
Kristen once again manages to say this at the top of her voice as seated passengers once again look on, this time a little more worried. Erin sits up in her seat as she tries to calm and quiet Kristen down while shunning an apologetic look at onlookers.
Erin: Shhhhhhh. Just sit back and relax!
Kristen: We need more drinks! WAITRESS!
Erin puts her arms out to pull Kristen back into her seat as she continues to try to calm her down.
Erin: You've got a match in less than 24 hours, you've had enough drinks. How many have you even had?
Kristen: I don't know...like tenty...*hiccup*...*laugh*
Erin: A combination of ten and twenty? Yeah, you ain't drunk...
By now Kristen has began to turn her attention to two Japanese people sitting in the seats across from her.
Kristen: Nee How!
The man and woman look on, barely a clue as to what she's doing, Kristen not much more wiser herself. Erin once again pulls Kristen back into her seat.
Kristen: I'm just saying hello to my Chinese friends!
Erin: They're Japanese...and I told you to sit down and relax...
Kristen: Erin stop being silly, China is in Japan. I speak Chinese, Erin...Japan, China, Asia, Hong Kong...they're all the same silly Erin...hello...wait, are you drunk Erin?
A drunk Kristen pokes away at Erin before sitting up again.
Kristen: You know what we need girl? Drinks!
Erin: No more drinks!
Kristen: WAITRESS! TWO BOMBS OVER HERE!
There's a few panicking sounds let out from onlookers as Kristen looks on with a massive grin on her face, not realising what she just said.
Erin: What the hell are you doing?
Kristen: Jager-bombs all around, Erin...my treat!
Emerging onto the aisle are two security guards, quickly making their way over to both Kristen and Erin with the air hostess in tow.
Security: M'am, I'm going to have to ask you to come with us.
Kristen: Now this party is picking up. the strippers are here, Erin!
An excited Kristen rises to her feet with a huge smile on her face, completely plastered from the alcohol.
Security: M'am, we're detaining you for the rest of the flight due to causing a disturbance to the public, you're going to have to come with us...
Kristen: Stood up...too fast...head rush...oh no!
The excited and happy look disappears from the face of Kristen as a pale white look storms all over her face, her cheeks puffing up before finally she can't hold it in anymore. Erin looks on as Kristen begins to spew everywhere, vomit shooting from the mouth of Kristen and all over the security guard standing in front of her.
Erin: Please God, take me now!
Erin looks on in sheer disbelief before for a final time she slumps back into her seat, this time with a double handed face plant as we fade out.
So, what did we learn today?
Don't Drink And Fly!
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