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Chris MacBeth · (02-29-2016)

The Ballad Of Me And My Friends

Present Day...

It's a cold day in London and Chris Macbeth is sat in The Monarch pub in Camden Town with his two friend Ted and Dave. (The previously mentioned Sports Radio Presenters & Stoners) Although they are no longer in the radio business they are still stoners.

Chris had pulled some strings with the powers that be at the XWF to try and bring them in to the company for a tryout as part time interviewers and general assistants to Chris.

Chris though was unsure of there seriousness to the job, I mean who would be, these guys smoked a lot of weed before but since they lost there jobs at the radio station the smoking has only intensified to a whole new level.

Imagine being sacked from your job for whacking your dicks out for a Croatian female gymnast... Yeah well that's almost what they did... Except it was a male gymnast. Apparently they had smoked a bit to much that morning before there show and under the influence this gymnast looked a little bit feminine and they were trying to impress her with there pieces. It actually worked for Dave as unbeknownst to the both of them the gymnast was in fact gay which caused many awkward telephone conversations between said gymnast and Dave in the weeks following.

Needless to say Chris' optimism for Ted and Dave taking the job he had managed to get them seriously was not high. It didn't help as the first words to come out of Ted's mouth after they had ordered there pints and gone sat out in the smoking area out the back of the pub was...

Ted: "So, there I was snorting coke off this nun's tits."

I mean seriously, a nun!

They were insistent though, they were trying to turn a corner and straighten themselves up to the level the Chris has. Seeing as Chris has just sparked up a joint it isn't saying much but compared to smoking so much you end up in another country with no idea how you got there.

Chris was doing well.

Chris thinks his buddies in the XWF could be a shambles.

At least it'll be hell of a funny ride.

Or not.

A few hours later...

Oh shit not again....

So Ted and Dave persuaded me to celebrate my successful return to the world of the XWF with a night out on the town seeing as we are back in our home town after my match last week at the O2. Now though I feel like death and I have a flight back to the states in what... 4 hours!

Sitting in the black cab with my suitcase between my legs I had the window wide open as the freezing cold air was making me feel better, helping me not want to throw up all over this cab. My addictive personality has got the better of me again... Yes I am an addict but overall I have had it under control, no drink or drugs leading up to and the day of work, last night though Ted and Dave played to my weaker side, the side of me that won't say no.

Now I am kicking myself wondering how I'm even going to make it to the airport and the prospect of 13 hours in a plane wasn't helping either. God it's been a while since I have felt this bad.

The taxi pulls up outside Heathrow Airport, Terminal 5 and I chuck the cash through the hole on to the driver before exiting the cab and sparking one last cigarette up before heading into the airport.

Gilmour

Gilly you mother fucking mongoose. It's been a long time since we faced each other, way back in 2013 on Wednesday Warfare. Do you remember? I do quite vividly remember beating your ass all over the damn place before pinning you for the win.

I'm guessing you do remember and that's why you have been dodging me ever since I won the opportunity for a title match against you for that Hart Championship of yours. Like the wreaking moronic champion you are you refuse to face anyone of any substance like myself that would most likely take your presidium little belt away. Well you can't hide now "BITCH"! Tyrone has put us in this match together and you will feel the pain, disappointment and misery you felt back in 2013 when I beat your ass again, you cowardly dickhead.

No this might not be for your title but I'll tell you something when I beat you, Riot and Maverick then beat the Loverboy for his title I'll come back and get your little title off you as well you half ape, ugly runt.

Ground Floor, San Diego

[Image: SanDeigo%20Airport%20Expansion.jpg]

I love this city and I love this state I think to my self as I leave San Diego International Airport. I spark up a cigarette and check my phone for confirmation that my ride is here. An old friend of mine should be picking me up but he is running late. At least the 13 hour flight which I slept through most of as cured me of the hangover from hell. Ted and Dave are bad influences. There is a chance they will actually be at the
Valley View Casino Centre for Wednesday Night Warfare, that's if they remember there flight. It was surprising to me that they are even aloud on a plane ever again after the last incident.

The radio station had flown Ted and Dave into a big sporting event I can't remember what it was now, I think it was one of the many champions league finals that none of the English teams had been successful enough to reach, it probably involved Bayern Munich and Barcelona, maybe even Real Madrid. Anyway they had arrived done the jobs as colour commentators successfully so decided to celebrate with the locals and some bar. Needless to say they got hammered, so wasted they couldn't even move, you know the type of drunk I'm talking about.

Needless to say there flight was in the early hours of the next morning and seeing as they were still partying away an hour before it was due to depart it was quite an achievement that they managed to make it on time.

It was once they were on the plane the trouble started. They were obviously drunk as a skunk and still wanting to party. Ted was stood in the isle dropping some beats with his very poor beat boxing skills and Dave was pacing the isle spitting some "sick lyrics". At least he said they were sick, I'm not so sure, he isn't the best rapper in the world.

This did actually start out as a bit of fun for the other passengers and the flight attendants but it soon turned in a different direction, a lot less wholesome direct that is... Nobody needs to see a chubby white mans hairy wiener and that was exactly what happened when Ted decided to challenge Dave to a battle of the schlongs match. (Face Palms All Round)

Needless to say who obviously would have won this match was the BIGGER man and refused to partake in this stupid game, instead he we wanted to concentrate on become a full fledged member of the mile high club. However a bit like Hitler he had the right ideas but went about it the wrong way...

No, Dave asking the woman's husband if he minds his wife helping him join the club is not the right way. Not the right way at all.

Needless to say they were kicked off the flight... Oh sorry did I forget to mention that they hadn't actually taken off yet, shit they hadn't even reached the runway.

Alexis Riot

Miss Riot it seems we're going to be facing each other twice in the space of a few days, first off all at In a contenders match on Warfare and tag team match on Shove It, I'll blab about the later another time. Today though I'm all about winning this four way elimination match with yourself, that numpty Gilmour and Twatvrick. In fact you probably are the only one in the match that I can stand.

Don't get me wrong though, that isn't saying much, in fact all that means is that your not as much of an annoying little cunt as them other two goats. No your not but it doesn't change anything, I know what I want and what I want means I have to beat Gillbert , Mav-prick and yourself on Wednesday Night, so that is what I'm going to do. No hard feelings but at least you will get a chance of redemption just a few days after, not that you will, I'll just take the bux off you that night as well.

Back to San Diego -present time.

Macbeth was growing a little annoyed still stood in the San Diego heat waiting for his lift to arrive,he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time.

"Alright you cunt" I heard a voice from behind me, I recognized it immediately. It appears they made a flight no problem but I didn't expect to see Ted and Dave until at least tomorrow. I turned and saw there beaming faces walking towards me.

I admitted I was surprised to see them, especially after the night we had had, I struggled to make it and I'm well a bit more dedicated to moving forward in life than these two bozo's.

Just as we said our hello's my old pal Sullivan pulled up to the sidewalk in his old Prius. After a few minutes of banter between the four of us we strapped our cases to the roof rack and piled in the car and left for Sully's pad.

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